Cathal

i am genuinely curious why you want to mix the two @AlterEgo any summary of a trip report for an experience like that?

the day after my suicide attempt i remember walking outside and had this 'feeling like everything has been right here all along', that was my first clue but i don't know if that was an awakening - it wasn't some intense realization more like an old seed in my mind sprouted when i was trying to make sense of what i was experiencing like i had been torturing myself for so long and finally tried to 'solve' it but it didn't really work and i just gave up in some sense and it happened

i understand the lust to transform yourself when you get a glimpse of the ultimate but always begin with financial freedom. that must be your bedrock, otherwise things can become delusional and you may find yourself in very tricky situations that's all i have to say good luck bro <3

man i just made a video on that today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjqD40aHohs&ab_channel=cathal and have been really trying to understand it. basically you need to create integrity and apply what you know by putting your foot down and saying, no, not today, i'm not doing that, that's bad for me you don't vanish belief systems by doing one major thing but it's applying consistent effort to do the thing that is good for you that you built trust and confidence that your inner child can rely on your decisions instead of relying on the same stupid shit it did 20 years ago. - you are driven by a dysfunctional emotional core but you do have the power to reshape that integrity and consistent work

it's true, nothing has meaning in any kind of subjective sense we give it. except that's a perception, if you truly realized what life is about by seeing through the eyes of the creator inside you would never ask such a question. you are making too many conclusions from your perception of ignorance, explore more deeply the depths of what you are - that's what this forum is for

i left when i was 21, to a country that i didn't speak the language and i had no friends lmao whatever reality is, it wants you to evolve to your potential. nothing about patterns is striving towards potential and no matter what happened to me i found nothing really ever goes as bad as you predict it, there are times to chill and enjoy and relax into what you created for yourself and there's times to create something for yourself

@puporing hey how do you go about dream interpretation? my dreams are very wild but the essence of them are repeating themselves endlessly and it's very hard to grasp it. i just can't get it lol, but for sure it's something important - during my childhood and the friends I had

@Someone here i wonder what something like trauma realese exercise would do you for you if it's happening at home. perhaps some deep breathing/shamanic breathing too

can you describe a situation that would likely evoke a panic attack? in what kind of setting/what kind of people?

Your whole effort is to remove the obstacles including your attachment to spirituality. It just is, you lack the awareness around what is making you percieve things the way you do, otherwise you wouldn't be looking for yourself. It's just traumas. That's all. Purify the traumas in the chakra centers and what you seek is always sitting right there in front of you. Confront your conditioning. Meditation for us westerners, is 1/10 of the work

people will stay in your religion if you convince them the world is going to collapse and this religion is your saviour really some big brain marketers back in the good old days

understanding why you are experiencing the emotions you are experiencing but also taking the action you need to for those emotions, if i lets say understand i feel bad because i feel this lacking within that i don't have a partner and i don't take action because of some limiting beliefs about myself that i don't have X, i need Y first, maybe when i have Z in the future then that's not emotional intelligence i think social intelligence comes from being able to understand people through cognitive empathy as they are and being able to mold yourself to cater to them, from a place of love and not fear. as in not being a chamaleon who manipulates and avoids but being truly understanding

@Raptorsin7 uh so many things m8 something like shamanic breathing can surface up 20 year old trauma in some intense cathartic while talking with my therapist can bring softness to repressed emotions from high school. but it's really the understanding through loving and allowing what is that heals it all you can pm me if you struggle with something also check my youtube

@Jacob Morres Just be vunerable man, hiding that shit is going to keep this behaviour going on repeat and you'll always have this lurking fear in your head about OH NO WHAT IF THEY SEEEEEE expose yourself so you don't give a shit if someone exposes you, that kills the shame like repellent

@softlyblossoming lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvs54jjgk5k&ab_channel=cathal

It has really hit me so hard, that there is no one else. That I, you, are imagining the self and everything we think about each other is happening in our minds and not in reality. It just hit so hard doing shadow work, that everyone is truly a reflection of your 'I/self' being witnessed by the Self - it's really hard to truly see it until you feel the silence when you're around people. You have to really be in that state of silence, like your awareness looks around it's just looking at form, no disturbances/no judgement/no fluctuation - everything is just wildlife/nature, but man it's the most intense work and the most uuuuuuuuuuuugh it's like knowing you have to wake up at 7 am to pile shoves of shit outside your door, it has to be done but hey... are we playing this game for real? Meditation can never bypass these disturbances, nothing does. Just facing it, facing the shit you swept under the rug that molded over decades and gave birth to some bacterial monster but honestly, you just pull back the fucking rug and realize there's nothing there. It's just when you're always walking over it and too worried about what it is it creates the whole terror in your mind

sure you guys can do all of this and exist 'as nothing' but you're still not seeing clearly and have a shit load of work to do on your attachments

@ThePoint your lack of emotional intelligence as in the understanding of the cause of why you are feeling numb is how you stop it for good. there's no other way, there's nothing else you can do to escape the numbness because it's just a consequence of emotions you're experiencing that you are not feeling, so it's about going inwards and understanding your life and the pain you've experienced, understanding what are your emotional needs (having friends, relationships) and how can you fulfill them and so on.

@Bazooka Jesus sorry my friend but it's just embracing your fear and jumping into the abyss - surrendering to god basically, completely give up the struggle of what makes you inactive and take action

@Thought Art you don't, you change yourself from within by dealing with your karma and reflect to people that they can do it, that's the only way reality changes. doing it the other way around is pointless and not responsible and just ineffective

@puporing haha yes i never worded it like that that's almost exactly the same as me, my therapist (also a healer) is shockingly so wise and understanding of how to get out of the collective traumas we have to deal with that it blows my mind and yes it's really that understanding that you, love/god/source whatever, are always looking for yourself and we get raised up to believe we will find it in some 'thing/person' and then get ourselves so entangeled and emotionally hurt but the joy in knowing it's all within and always was and that independance is who you really

@ChrisZoZo

@Wisebaxter this guy has really nailed down how to approach things and i've found it really fucking useful