Indianonymous replied to Indianonymous's topic in Self-ActualizationSeriously guys no one has had anything similar happen to them they have found their way out of? Or hear of something similar even?
Indianonymous posted a topic in Self-ActualizationHey all, Been a long-time fan of Leo, and his content has helped me LOADS as it has probably all of you as well. Reaching Enlightenment I am annoyed with myself at this point in time because I had reached, IMHO, an "enlightened" state where I was completely and totally free of the value and all of the external validation, both positive and negative. And free of the fear of rejection and unacceptance by others, whether that be people that watched my content on IG and YT or whether that be girls that I would practice game on, or whether that be rejection from customers for my product. I had reached this enlightened state through a combination of my learnings and teachings from Leo's videos, a bunch of Ted Talks, Jordan Peterson, and then finally the biggest and best of the tools, which basically helped me reach into as well as cement these things into my subconscious mind, Psychedelics, viz. Mushrooms. Losing it… Rebirth of Ego As time has gone on however, (this is now over a year, closer to two since that point) my Ego seems to have come back again. I bother myself and my thoughts with what other people think about me a lot more. I take rejection from girls to heart and or seriously, because then I feel bad about it, about myself, and then don’t want to approach more and or practice more (whether girls or sales or video creation and publishing) because I fear further “failure”/unacceptance. I am not as motivated to make Youtube content anymore because my views on Youtube have gone down since when I first started. I felt that the topics that I am creating content on are/would be very exciting and interesting to make content on and when the views did not match up to my expectations, I lost a lot more of my motivation and drive to do all of which I was planning on doing. Current days I am not waking up early anymore, but I do wake up and meditate for 20 mins and do self affirmations in my cold showers. Then I get to my boring 9-5 work and I haven't done any work on my own business in the past 2 weeks or so. I will get back into the swing of things regardless of how I feel, but I wish I could have a method of setting my head straight so it's something I LOVE and want to do and am dying to do rather than do "what is right". Side struggles There is a tiny thing on the side that is that I am forced for the next 6 months or so to be working this job that I don’t like or care for, for purposes of immigration into my country. So I do definitely feel that saps out a ton of my energy and drive anyways as well. To top that my biggest outlet of Bodybuilding, a sport centered around Self Development, has been taken away from me because of Covid and the gyms being taken away every alternate day. That which keeps me grounded and helps me generate momentum into all other aspects of my life, is now in itself stagnant and stable. Yet still there’s a lot more to it that I cannot understand and get around. My logical rational mind is already aware of the things it needs to do ( : 1. have a life purpose/a bigger vision than myself (my struggle here is be selfish or more than?), 2. do things for YOUR SELF DEVELOPMENT not for others, 3. DO NOT FEAR and or ACCEPT REJECTION from women nor clients nor GenPop etc. Etc.) But for whatever reason, my subconscious mind seems to have lost these ideals and feelings. THAT’S the part that annoys me the most. That I once had it and have now lost it, and I do not know how to get it back again. I have tried Shrooms again, but they don’t hit the subconscious any more solidly as they once did before. In fact if anything I just have a bad time doing shrooms now pretty much every single time that I do them. My first 20-30 trips were absolutely amazing and I learnt SO much from them. Now however, I don’t get anything out of them if anything, and maybe the past 15-20 trips have pretty much ALL been bad trips. Advice? Has anything of the sort ever happened to you all before? If so how do you shake yourself out of it? How do you get your subconscious to truly believe in the things and align by them that which your rational mind already knows? Or even, how can I re-attain that previous state of ungodly confidence, determination, the calm and undisturbable self-reliant drive that I previously once had? Any and all help and guidance would be very much appreciated!