Indianonymous

I am sick and tired of this feeling of living life cranking hard on the accelerator while feeling I still have the handbrakes on. I barely accomplished anything until the age of 28-29 in my life by just NEVER putting myself out there nor taking any action. The biggest thing that has worked to improve my life by LEAPS and bounds is to just put in ACTION. Despite having improved like a 100x from 28-29, I feel like right now, even at the age of 34 I am still not COMPLETELY giving myself the best chance by not TRULY believing in myself. Why am I so scared of believing I can be a GREAT legit Fitness + Dating Coach/Influencer? ...that people would actually give a shit about me, both my personal journey and look up to/for in terms of knowledge/education? Why don't I deep down trust in myself and my TREMENDOUS potential? I am sick and tired of SELF-SABOTAGING myself from my own Dreams. Why don’t I give myself the BEST chance I can possibly have? A lot of the times I think this comes from just 'not feeling good enough' + 'what if I do it and STILL fail? That would be devastating' Like I feel I am not big enough, jacked enough, ripped enough, educated enough to teach about Bodybuilding. I am not experienced enough and have enough lay count etc to speak about Dating & Relationshp advice. I am not good/smart/knowledgable enough to make videos on topics I LOVE viz Psychedelics, Anabolics etc. Sometimes I feel like I am an NPC in this Game of Life where others (in my world other Bodybuilder Influencers I know) are the MAIN character. I just am an NPC on the side. What's even MORE frustrating about this... Is that I have a LOT of tangible proof for myself to see and should be enough to 'close my mind with logic' that dude, you ARE good enough, why the heck is this still bothering you? It took some time, but over time in my last prep, I started getting more and more confident and started to realize that I AM the main character in my life. I am hoping for the same this time as well, but I'd still like some help to tackle this fear better. Eg. For my last Bodybuilding Prep, when I did it, I decided to give myself the BEST possible chance to do the best I could possibly do. Because I feel like I trusted in myself and wanted to give myself the best shot at my goal. I had this weird sort of tunnel vision drive where absolutely nothing else existed. No one else looking at me weird when I was recording myself, none of the sniggers and stares and judgemental looks etc. Take a quick skim look at this example in this video during my last prep : This teenage girl & her boyfriend who were recording me were actually snickering and laughing, I didn't realize it until later on, but at the same time, I also didn't care because I was so tunnel visioned in my own work to be done to give myself my best shot at my goals. Same/similar with creating content and the like. Over time something seems to have happened where I feel like I stopped caring about myself enough to try and give myself the best possible chance by caring too much about what other people think about me. Btw it IS true in my gym, meathead central pro's only, that I am one of the smallest guys there, not a pro, no competitive aspirations, not at 50k+ followers, not a part of any team or clique etc. I AM an outsider. And I feel like I definitely do get looked down or weirdly at. So it does definitely make me feel a bit out of place and not always 'supported'. But I am mad at myself for even giving a fuck about what these other meathead monkey morons think. As someone who logically and rationally understands internal validation is supreme etc why do I STILL seem to let others negativity get to me? (Btw leaving the gym is not an option, this is the BEST gym in all of Canada, I LOVE the equipment etc. What I feel I need to tackle is the limiting beliefs and demons within my head.) This ALSO reflects in the way that I create content (or don’t!) I have had it in my mind to create videos on Anabolics, which I KNOW will drive massive growth and traffic to my channel, but I STILL haven't. After 3+ YEARS OF CONTEMPLATION!!! I am always 'busy' with the next great idea, or unnecessary higher frequency of uploads, rather than working on the AMAZING content I know I can create on Anabolics & Bodybuilding or something that would generate MASSIVE value and drive people to my channel. In the amount of effort that I put into researching for my content. The editing that I do for it. For example, I haven’t posted a single story on my IG in months now, and neither any training videos. The truth is of course however that had I kept doing so folks would have been wanting to follow my entire journey. Similarly, I didn’t post anything for an amazing mini-cut progress I had. And nothing else either. I don’t work late nights or I feel like I don’t work to 100% of my potential and end up checking out video games or something to enjoy the present time. (Though this might be an ENTIRELY different topic maybe because I am also learning to take breaks and enjoy my life on the daily, which as an otherwise self-esteem-workaholic, I get my self-esteem just by the man hours I put in and the amount of hours of pleasure I 'sacrifice'.) And I feel the reason for that is that deep down I don’t think I am going to get anything for putting in all of my efforts in. The growth so far has been quite slow on my socials and my Youtube (at least compared to where I think I should be) and I feel like that takes away from the drive for me to go at a 100% of my potential and give myself the best chance I can have. What am I looking for with this post? -Would love to figure out a way to have my own back and support myself through my fears instead of listening to them and letting them get the better of me (I have been in this spot before, need to figure out how to get there again.) -Would love some actionable steps and insights for the above, -Thoughts opinions on mindsets and tackling my self-limiting beliefs and fears, -and also in closing would love to come up with a short mantra or something I can remind myself of "being good enough, and worthy enough that people would care about my journey and my knowledge" & "how to have my own back" whenever I feel "the resistance" when it's time for me to put in action. Thanks for your time gents! <3

Firstly I understand that this post might seem a bit egotistical or even full of myself or braggartly. It’s not meant to be. In fact, I am feeling totally lost in life right now, where I am actually feeling what is the purpose of my existence and what is my reason to wake up. What I am looking for is some guidance and advice for my “existential crisis”. I have also tried to format and give all required info in the best possible way to give you the most clarity to see the whole picture. Who am I? I’m now 32 yo, South Asian Male, which means OF COURSE I finished Comp Sci engineering, then I fell in love with Bodybuilding & Aesthetics at the age of 18. I was always a skinny shy ecto nerd (who also had venustraphobia for the longest amount of time in life) so the idea of muscle and a good physique at the age of 18 sounded amazing, which is where my journey into self development began. Great physique, amazing looks, envy and respect from men, and also attracted to women? (The last one doesn’t work btw, you have to work on your social skills for your looks to matter, but more on that later in this post). Mental Health Background Issues I have self diagnosed : Low Self Esteem/Self Worth Lack of Sense of my own Value Do not understand how to love myself/Suffer from Lack of Self Love I didn’t even know about Mental Health until the age of 28-29 or so. I didn’t even know I had Low Self Esteem and Low Self worth issues my entire life. The Low SE came from the way my mother raised me, my first girlfriend (narcisstic, abusive) and my culture and society in general. I also have a lack of sense of Internal Value. I don’t understand it when people say “everyone has value”. I have been raised in a culture where you are more worthy and have more value than others if you have a better job, more marks, better car/wealth, better body, more girls etc etc. The value thing has made me, AFAIK, always WORK towards feeling valuable in life. Like if I didn’t get any more marks than others, or if I got the same I was/am equally not valuable or definitely not any more valuable than others. This puts me in a perpetual state of unhappiness, and an infinite chase for it. Which leads to TREMENDOUS success, as I will elaborate below, but also a deep dark void of unhappiness since clearly my happiness is being pursued and does not ensue. Enter Mushrooms. I lived the unhappiest of lives until 28-29. After which I got into studying about Psychedlics and how they help with healing, trauma and the like. My first powerful mushroom trip in 2019 or so was the one where I realized that I don’t actually love myself. It broke me. But it also made me vow to myself to love myself more than anyone else ever had, since most all love I have received in my life has been conditional, even from my mother (or at least the child in me perceived it that way). I love my parents and they love me, but it is what it is and this piece imho is very important to realize about my background and mental health and its consequential suffering. For 8-12 months or so after my mushroom trip I did EVERYTHING in life that I needed to be doing to feel like I love myself. Meaning even if I had to leave at the end of a 16 hour shift on less sleep to go to the grocery store to get a salad to fuel myself healthily, I did it. And this was repeated a multitude of times endlessly. I feel like somewhere along the line since then, this has stopped. I don’t really know why or how. And I am trying to re understand it and pursue it again right now. Accomplishing EVERYTHING in 3 years, with picture proof. 1. I went in full steam ahead into my bodybuilding pursuit and made a body transformation that most IFBB pros would be envious of. Dream body, done. https://imgur.com/a/Hc9OomI 2. I then pursued Pick Up & Game to get over my lifelong crippling fear of beautiful women. Multiple coaches, bootcamps, and over a 1000+ girls approached, and feeling like I have accomplished everything I needed to, to be happy with my life in and around women. Women, done. https://imgur.com/a/xD7RvMR 3. I then pursued the game of money, which I kind of hoped would have kept me interested in it forever, but as soon as I crushed a couple of 10k months (which is nothing compared to my business mastermind peers, but MIND BOGGLING compared to my starting salary of $1500 per month for 180 hour work weeks.). I proved to myself I can make money and I also have NO expensive tastes whatsoever. I made 70k ish in the last 1.5 years and I have spent like 60k on it on myself and reinvestments, coaches, masterminds etc. I have spent less than 10k on myself and splurges (got a 3090TI and a PS5 and they both just collect dust lol. I am at least happy the 18yo within me is happy just looking at them on my desk.) I know there is a lot more to the world then muscle, women and money but these are the BASIC 3 needs for every young man right now, and I have gone beyond what 99% of people in the world can or would ever require to accomplish. There is no point in getting even more. I mean to what end, and why? (Btw for the nature of this discussion let’s just assume I have won the lottery and I will never need to worry about money again, even for a rainy day fund, let’s keep it out of “work more for more money for what if’s”, since that’s not a DRIVING reason to wake up in the morning and get out of bed) https://imgur.com/a/BgVEZeC This image here is also something I have found interesting. Which of these is the point of life? And why? https://imgur.com/a/6FepT2o 1. Self Interest and Pursuit of Pleasure/Hedonism But how many burgers on yachts with multiple girls blowing you can you possibly have? This will obviously never end, and it feels good in the moment, but empty immediately afterwards. No sense of peace and contentment. 2. Selflessness So this is ACTUALLY something I enjoy. I have been documenting my entire life transformation and journey on my Youtube channel ( https://youtube.com/c/IntellectualMuscle ) I basically made my Youtube channel what 18yo me would have wanted. “A big brother with tough love you didn’t even know you needed.” I help young (& old actually) men that feel lost in life and want to get to these accomplishments and states in life, in the EASIEST fastest safest possible manner. It took me FOREVER and multiple 10,000s of $ to get there. I make it ridiculously simple and easy for my boys to get there. The question with selflessness. Is how selfless? And why? Like I spend so much time and so much of my earnings on my Youtube and IG (~1500 USD per month) and I barely get any traction from it, like 200-300 views tops. So do people even care to learn? Also. What if I just stopped what I do? Or hypothetically I had never even born or die off? Sure some people would be sad that they thought my content and help was amazing. But in 3 months I will be forgotten, and someone else would and is already making the same kind of content to help other guys in need. ALSO at our base and core we are SELFISH beings as humans. So it just doesn’t permanently sit with me to be completely selfless and live for others. Like why? Most of my life most people have just taken from me and never given me anything in return. So why would I wish to be selfless to the world that has taken so much from me and never cared for me? So this isn’t like a clear driving mission or purpose for me to wake up and do it either. I mean I do like it, but not to the extent like this is the sole life purpose. I feel like I have sacrificed myself more than enough for the sake of others and don’t feel like I am receiving ROI on it in equal measures. 3. Self Actualization I understand that this is being the best version of myself. And I have done that already in many different fields as shown above. ALL the ones that mattered to me. Muscle, Women, Money. Now can I get MORE. Of course. But also again. Why? I already have more than what is required to live quite the comfortable life. So WHY be the MOST muscular, or have ALL the skills to get all the girls, or have all the skills to get ALL the money in the world?? Where I feel others don’t suffer the same Existentialism Quite simple I feel, because they CREATE their own reason for existence Viz. Children. Most people have kids and no matter what you feel like or not, you WILL do everything in life even if you don’t want to do it for your kids. This includes making money, being healthy, more toys etc. OR most people do not get out of the chase of the rat race and grind trying to make ends meet, so there is always their reason “to make rent for next month.” MY Ideas on Future Goals for Myself Please read this part AFTER you have written or decided on what you think might be some food for thought for me, since I don’t want to taint your ideas and opinions with my own future ones. My understanding atm is I now want and NEED to pursue some form of Spirituality and Inner Peace and Calm. I am ALWAYS chasing happiness and a reason to love myself, via external validation and accomplishments (since that’s how I have been raised), I need to figure out where and how to generate/find this in and within myself now to begin with. I don’t know which mediation teacher or method to pursue. I have LOVED Alan Watts’ stuff and I will find it once again and hopefully get some guidance there. I have LOVED HealthygamerGG’s stuff and hopefully will get some more clarity via listening to his work. I am currently re-reading for the 3rd time Vikto Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning and also Learn to Love yourself by Kamal Ravikant. Any other books/podcasts/reading or any suggestions with how to decide what to pursue in life would be very appreciated, thank you! Thanks again for reading all the way till here if you did, I appreciate your time and if you have any words of wisdom, those as well!

I figured out the answer to the "my Ideal Self". And for that matter even comparison with others. It's the concept of the book the Gap & the Gain. Brilliant book, do yourselves a service and read it!

So firstly, I find that Leo has pretty much every single question I have ever had to ask answered in some video or the other. Does Leo have a video on never being happy/satisfied in life no matter how much you achieve/accomplish? If so what is the title of it/link if someone can assist me here? About my question/topic at hand. I find myself to be ALWAYS looking forward to the next thing to achieve and accomplish. Like in 2019, I was 29 yo, all I would do would be to look forward to video games, masturbate and fucking eat like shit, and watch TV, just living to drone on into the next day. Today, I have my own business, that I have made AMAZING strides at including money. I have my own Youtube that has had a lot of success. I have improved like 25x in terms of Game and Pick Up to be able to put myself out there and not fear judgment etc etc etc. Yet no matter how much I do, I always feel like I am behind 1) Either someone else. 2) MOST IMPORTANTLY "My IDEAL Self" Like I know logically one shouldn't compare themselves with others, but I feel like when I try to accomplish things, I look up to the best in the field, and then I compare my results in my experience in THEIR field, with their results, of which they are of course MASTERS in their field... I also know that I should be comparing myself to my yesterday's self and be proud of my accomplishments, but I think from time to time I keep getting bogged down by external validation and also just somehow feel like I forget doing that or just completely ignore it. I wonder if this has something to do with low self-esteem/low self-worth, which was my raising, but I have worked ENDLESSLY on it to improve myself since then. I have addressed a LOT of my insecurities and my fears, I have had some amazingly powerful, and enlightening Psychedelic trips, but I also seem to get caught in this weird annoying quicksand-like bog that seems to pull me down/keep me stagnant/unable to enjoy life STRESS-FREE. Like I KNOW I will accomplish EVERY SINGLE THING I put my mind to. I always have. No matter how hard something is, I have made endless efforts and strides and ALWAYS improved 10 fold MINIMUM if not 100 fold. But I always seem to stress myself out in the PRESENT moment, thinking/hoping about the future, or just somehow feeling and predicting that the future moment would be better than now, AFTER I put all the work in and "improve/accomplish". Is there something he talks about somewhere where you get to enjoy and appreciate the PRESENT moment? I am loving his Satisfaction Meditation since that is something that DIRECTLY addressed this topic and trains you for it.

Thank you for this Leo. I will look into further figuring out my own Life Purpose. For now, my Life Purpose is to just pursue things that make me happy. I need to first satisfy and do things in order to keep myself as a top priority before/after which I can look into spreading and sharing the love. My form of Art is actually making broad complex concepts and ideas really easy and simple. That's what my Youtube channel is all about. I do this primarily with Bodybuilding and the pursuit of one's "Dream Physique". But I also help guys out with the same in and around understanding female psychology for them to implement in their dating lives. And also dabble in Psychedelics and other Mental Health Self Help. Also, your Victim Mentality video #1 was one of the first videos that I watched after doing my Mushroom trip and it set my life on this trajectory to where I am today. I have a perma-pledge on Patreon simply because of what that video and its concept has done for me already so far. Funnily enough, the Pick Up Bootcamp I did was also in Vegas and I did one with John Anthony's guys, who said that they knew of you or knew some of the guys that game with you as well! Small world, hopefully, we run into each other someday!

Thank you for those kind words! And yes I am looking into pursuing more spirituality and consciousness. I have experience with all of these so far and loved most all of them, I will list them in order of my favourites : MDMA Mushrooms LSD DMT I am now looking into Ketamine assisted therapy for more ideas and vision into myself and my being. I will at some point also be going for Ayahuasca and ALSO 5-MeO -DMT. I just feel I am not ready for those just yet. Ketamine, however, yes I think I can investigate the same. I am ALSO keen on going for some meditation retreats as well! I just don't know just yet if I will be able to handle a 7-day retreat just yet, a 3 day however I feel should be just fine for starters. What are the Yoga modules you are into?

Thank you! As I mentioned to someone else, it really doesn't take that long if you can sort of go in full steam ahead and target each of them one at a time. (I was still trying to do all 3 here and there, which helped a bit from time to time, but I do feel that concentrating on one would be much less stressful I feel.) Also, my links have been posted above, I documented my body transformation but ALSO my pursuit of Pick Up & Game and I also explained the understanding of Money & Value and how one needs to be pursuing money if they do. Hopefully all that helps, and if you wish to connect with me you can do so directly on my IG! Best wishes and best of luck to you in all your endeavours!

Thank you, I LOVED reading this post! It connects and hits me a bit more personally since you kind of hit something that I have always known in my subconscious. I know that I "achieve" things, but you are right I do not "appreciate myself for that". Even the other line immediately after. Literally connected with me so deep. I actually feel like what is even the point of my existence lol, like I were to die, someone else would just come and take my place. But that line of yours : "Just merely by existing I think you can inspire a lot of people in their 20s." I have never been able to think like that or of myself like that. Again, the whole bit of the past history of Low Self Esteem and Low Self Worth etc. So again, THANK YOU, your words literally have made my month and I will be coming back here to keep re-reading them in the future! <3

Thank you, I'll be honest, ALL of those can be accomplished way sooner than most think. It literally only took me 3 years to go through all of those. I had started lifting 15+ years ago, but that insane body transformation of fat loss for the competition was just less than 8 months! I help people (my target audience is younger men 15-30) accomplish the same in their own lives in the simplest, fastest, easiest manner possible. I linked a bunch of my links above, feel free to peruse them and connect with me directly if you need any help!

Literally, the BASE of my entire Youtube channel and Instagram is Bodybuilding made EASY haha. Youtube : https://youtube.com/c/IntellectualMuscle Instagram (can DM me directly here!): https://instagram.com/Intellectual.Muscle This is the be all end all video you will ever need to watch to understand the difference between those who lose fat and those who don't - I have another whole playlist called School of Gainz, that explains the perfect exercises for every body part along with kinematics and mechanics as to why - My latest series is 15 Years of studying X in 15 minutes - Feel free to scour through my channel and reach out to me directly on IG if you need any specific help!

Hey all, Been a long-time fan of Leo, and his content has helped me LOADS as it has probably all of you as well. Reaching Enlightenment I am annoyed with myself at this point in time because I had reached, IMHO, an "enlightened" state where I was completely and totally free of the value and all of the external validation, both positive and negative. And free of the fear of rejection and unacceptance by others, whether that be people that watched my content on IG and YT or whether that be girls that I would practice game on, or whether that be rejection from customers for my product. I had reached this enlightened state through a combination of my learnings and teachings from Leo's videos, a bunch of Ted Talks, Jordan Peterson, and then finally the biggest and best of the tools, which basically helped me reach into as well as cement these things into my subconscious mind, Psychedelics, viz. Mushrooms. Losing it… Rebirth of Ego As time has gone on however, (this is now over a year, closer to two since that point) my Ego seems to have come back again. I bother myself and my thoughts with what other people think about me a lot more. I take rejection from girls to heart and or seriously, because then I feel bad about it, about myself, and then don’t want to approach more and or practice more (whether girls or sales or video creation and publishing) because I fear further “failure”/unacceptance. I am not as motivated to make Youtube content anymore because my views on Youtube have gone down since when I first started. I felt that the topics that I am creating content on are/would be very exciting and interesting to make content on and when the views did not match up to my expectations, I lost a lot more of my motivation and drive to do all of which I was planning on doing. Current days I am not waking up early anymore, but I do wake up and meditate for 20 mins and do self affirmations in my cold showers. Then I get to my boring 9-5 work and I haven't done any work on my own business in the past 2 weeks or so. I will get back into the swing of things regardless of how I feel, but I wish I could have a method of setting my head straight so it's something I LOVE and want to do and am dying to do rather than do "what is right". Side struggles There is a tiny thing on the side that is that I am forced for the next 6 months or so to be working this job that I don’t like or care for, for purposes of immigration into my country. So I do definitely feel that saps out a ton of my energy and drive anyways as well. To top that my biggest outlet of Bodybuilding, a sport centered around Self Development, has been taken away from me because of Covid and the gyms being taken away every alternate day. That which keeps me grounded and helps me generate momentum into all other aspects of my life, is now in itself stagnant and stable. Yet still there’s a lot more to it that I cannot understand and get around. My logical rational mind is already aware of the things it needs to do ( : 1. have a life purpose/a bigger vision than myself (my struggle here is be selfish or more than?), 2. do things for YOUR SELF DEVELOPMENT not for others, 3. DO NOT FEAR and or ACCEPT REJECTION from women nor clients nor GenPop etc. Etc.) But for whatever reason, my subconscious mind seems to have lost these ideals and feelings. THAT’S the part that annoys me the most. That I once had it and have now lost it, and I do not know how to get it back again. I have tried Shrooms again, but they don’t hit the subconscious any more solidly as they once did before. In fact if anything I just have a bad time doing shrooms now pretty much every single time that I do them. My first 20-30 trips were absolutely amazing and I learnt SO much from them. Now however, I don’t get anything out of them if anything, and maybe the past 15-20 trips have pretty much ALL been bad trips. Advice? Has anything of the sort ever happened to you all before? If so how do you shake yourself out of it? How do you get your subconscious to truly believe in the things and align by them that which your rational mind already knows? Or even, how can I re-attain that previous state of ungodly confidence, determination, the calm and undisturbable self-reliant drive that I previously once had? Any and all help and guidance would be very much appreciated!

Seriously guys no one has had anything similar happen to them they have found their way out of? Or hear of something similar even?