Federico del pueblo

Did you take it in a retreat? How was it and can you recommend a specific retreat (if you know any)? I really think Iboga (on high doses) is one of the few substances one shouldn't take alone. What do you mean by these bottles, like a liquid with the alkaloids?

In the last weeks I had a few insightful trips on 1V-LSD ranging from 120 - 150 ug. In each trip it was about childhood trauma and regression, because I had realised that I was neglected as a child, which has a lot to do with the emotional and health problems, that I still have as an adult 30+ years later. I also meditate daily and I recently made a post in which I talked about how in deepened meditative states (which are not as deep as the psychedelic states but still considerably deeper than normal waking states) I get tensions in my jaw and neck. Once I really start digging into my past during these expanded states of consciousness interesting things start to happen. The tensions like they appear in meditative states arise again, but become much more extreme. When I really remember the past events my neck tenses up so much that it does almost a 180° backwards bend, like the back of the head is touching the spine (literally). My mouth starts to open all by itself, in fact it gets ripped open, making me look like somebody in tremendous pain. My mouth will open and close and my jaw wiggles left and right and up and down. Then my head starts moving and my upper body starts shaking. It gets extreme. In the most intense moments I look like I'm possessed by a demon, with my head violently shaking, tilting left and right, nodding, rotating and so on. Any movement you could imagine a head doing, my head will do it. Sometimes my body almost jumps up from the bed a few inches, so heavy is the abrupt movement of my entire upper body. I'm twitching around like a maniac. During these times intense past emotional pain gets activated. It feels like there's an endless pit of emotional pain inside of me. I cry the most bitter tears you could imagine. It feels painful and yet healing. What is this phenomenon?

This makes sense, yep. Good to know Yep, that's probably it. I'm already working with EFT. From all the modalities you can do in a sober state, this is one of the best for me. It's interesting though that when I try to work on these childhood things with EFT (or within a regression process) that I can barely even bring up the emotions. There seems to be a lot of repression. It's much easier for me to bring up negative emotions related to things/situations of the present, but then even though EFT is the most effective technique for me to release them it still takes quite long. My suspicion was that these childhood realities (trauma, fear, neglect, perceptions of not being adequate or good enough) must be more fundamental and kind of provide the fertile ground for negative emotions in the present to grow on. The fact that after each of my last three trips focused on childhood regression led to an improvement of my emotions in the present seems to confirm this. Maybe the wild body movements that happen in the trips when I feel back into these childhood realities are the body's way of discharging the negative emotions.

Sounds good. And yes, it definitely feels like I'm healing in these moments of crying and when the body shakes like crazy. I'm already experiencing less negative emotional states in my day to day life.

@Javfly33 Ibogaine and the other alkaloids in Iboga root bark bind to many different receptors in the brain, including the opioid receptors. So then the opioid receptors are occupied by ibogaine amongst others, so you don't feel the addictive cravings for opioids anymore. Then, within a real iboga trip, the medicine will also show you the root cause of your addiction, the underlying traumas and conditioning and will often also give you a chance to directly work on it too. Your opioid receptors stay occupied for weeks after the trip, I think mostly by nor-ibogaine which your body makes out of the ibogaine. It's not safe to do this by yourself on a high dose though. You need at least a sitter or do it within some iboga ceremony.

@Someone here alright. I can see that you're already back at your best. Good job! ?

Tell me why god thought it was necessary to dream up evolution, instead of just creating everything in the moment exactly the way it wants to.

@Someone here welcome back! Please masturbate mentally for us. ?

How did that unfold? Which trauma was there? So did you identity as them, like you lived as them, thought as them and acted as them? Was there still an awareness that you were actually somebody on a lsd trip or no more memory of your actual life?

@LSD-Rumi @Luminescence What do you guys mean with "cleaner"? Is it like less confusing or less random? What would a "dirty" trip be like?

Crazy shit! ? What did you learn from it when you were eaten by a raptor for example?

@Someone here good luck and all the best to you! It was nice to have you had here!

As a teenager I wake up in the middle of the night. I try to get up because I wanted to use the bathroom, but quickly realise that I can't get up even one inch. I'm fully paralysed and can only tilt my head a bit left and right and slightly move my hands. I feel like to my very left there is some dark presence in the room, which I can't really see, I can only sort of sense it, so I'm kind of scared of all this. I'm anxious now and really want to get up, but can't. So I just close my eyes again and wait whether things improve. As soon as my eyes are closed I realise that now I can move again. So I move into about a 45° tilt of upper body, resting on my elbows. Now I open my eyes again and as soon as I do that I am instantly back in my lying position, in which I'm paralysed again. I mean instantly in the most literal sense, just like being beamed somewhere else. So I repeat the process again and again and the same thing keeps happening. With my eyes closed I can get up and sit on the edge of my bed. I can clearly feel the surface and structure of the bed's frame or the structure of the carpet below my feet. It is all 100% realistic, I'm completely sure that I'm awake, sitting upright and actually feeling these surfaces with my hands and feet. I can even stand up and start to walk through my room until I reach the door and feel the door handle in my hand and also a poster on the door that had a very specific surface structure. But even then, as soon as my eyes open I'm back in my bed lying on the back, completely unable to move. So I stand in the middle of my room but are beamed back into my bed the instant I open my eyes. There's no process of beaming, there's no time passing in-between. After a few more tries the entire thing stops and I can move normally again. Needless to say that I was scared out of my mind ? What do you think that was?

@Matthew85 awesome! Thanks for your post!

@Adam M well put. I totally agree. I've read the books of Dr. Joe Dispenza and a few of Dr. Dawson Church (mind to matter, the genie in your genes). In these books they refer a lot to the groundbreaking work of Dr. Bruce Lipton. It only makes sense to me that your conscious experience of reality affects you on the genetic level, so much so that you will over time alter your form. I could imagine how the direct ancestors of giraffes would first recognise that there are certain fruits or leaves on a tree, recognise their own deficit that keeps them from benefiting from these foods because their neck isn't long enough to then unconsciously program their genes to create adaptive changes so that a few (or many) generations later they would become actual giraffes who could reach the fruits in the trees.

The 10 year old being me a very long time ago. To be precise I remember that at that age (and later) I had nightmares fairly regularly, like every few weeks. I'm currently working through my childhood emotions (regression therapy etc.) and in my last psychedelic experience I became aware of two very specific dreams, one of which I'd like you to have a look at here in this thread and I'll make another thread for the other one. So here's the dream: In my dream it's in the middle of the night (just like it was in reality) and I'm in my children's room (just like I was in reality). Suddenly I became aware that I must have seen something outside through the window. Like some dark undefined creature that passed by my window in the back ally behind the house. It could have been a person, but I didn't know. So I leave my room and go into our living room. Outside of our living room is a terrace surrounded by a fairly big garden and some bushes that kind of separate the terrace from the garden. The garden at some point connects to the aforementioned back ally. I step outside and see nothing suspicious so I decide to go back in. The moment I walk back in I realise somebody is crawling out of the bush that's directly to the right of the door. The person stands up and I immediately realise that he's holding a knife in his hand. I don't remember exactly what he said but I know for sure that he said something threatening like e.g. "now you're dead" or "I'll kill you". Completely in shock I immediately turn around, run back in through the door and manage to shut it before the person can get a foot in. Then I run away through the living room. That's when I woke up. And here comes the even more interesting part: I'm still scared out of my mind and look around in my room. Then I look through the window whether there is somebody there but can't see anybody. Now I realise something completely weird: When I look at different objects in my room they start to move in weird ways. It looks kind of similar to the visual effects you can have on psychedelics, when you see visual distortions, like things twisting and wiggling back and forth. Especially the lamp on the ceiling went crazy. It literally looked like it was doing about 90° turns and moving towards me and then back again, taking the entire ceiling with it, time and again (a fairly big distance like maybe 1 metre/3 ft.). So basically I was experiencing visual hallucinations as this 10 year old after a very realistic nightmare. These visual hallucinations would persist for many years until at least young adulthood. Whilst they still kind of scared me for quite a while I also found the effect kind of cool. It was like some crazy thrilling thing for me, scary but interesting. But what do you think about all of this? It doesn't seem normal at all, right? What could that mean about a child's psyche?

@Ulax thanks mate!

Yep ?

Was that phase that you described like below... ...one of the three phases or like an extra 4th phase? Because what Grov describes are 4 perinatal phases (basic perinatal matrices). 1 phase right before birth, which can be nice and comfortable if pregnancy was all good, but can also be ugly if the mother was stressed or consumed toxins. Then the second phase is when the contractions of the womb begin, which creates lots of mechanical stress and is experienced as threatening. In the third phase the fetus is moving through the birth canal which is still more of a struggle, with potential strangulation, temporary lack of oxygen, contact with biological materials etc. The 4th phase is when the fetus is actually born and leaves the vagina. When people reexperience this e.g. in a high dosed lsd therapy session, each phase is accompanied by very vivid hallucinatory imagery full of symbols (sometimes archetypal entities appear like dragons, gods or half gods etc.), e.g. when the mother did smoke during pregnancy the fetus as which you identity experiences the toxins entering through the cord while seeing images of toxic waste dumps or similar things. So I don't if this could be related to your dreams as a child. But I could see how a psyche might be processing the traumatic experiences from birth in such types of dreams, like a sequence of phases that kind of resemble the sensations during the basic perinatal phases. These phases often influence people for a lifetime if they don't get processed at some point, like people will develop neurosis or very weird sexual perversions etc.

That's quite freaky. Did your parents put Salvia Divinorum in your evening tea? ? That's an interesting transition. It remotely reminds me of the experiences of people who relive their own birth. Stanislav Grof writes about this in "the way of the psychonaut". First you have a lot of pressure because you get squeezed, then you get released and feel much better.

@Osaid OK, cool. Good to know! Thanks!

@BipolarGrowth Interesting! That sounds like the scariest type of thing you could experience as an 8 year old, it would scare the shit out of me as an adult ?

@Hojo That's really interesting stuff you experienced. I don't know if you misunderstood me though, because my dream was not within another dream (even though I've had that in some other rare instances), so I woke up into normal reality. The weird visual hallucinations I experienced in waking reality, that's why it was so scary. I also contemplated whether such a dream, in which I see someone with a knife trying to attack me, could also mean that there was indeed somebody out there with some bad intention and that we might have something like a 6th sense that can sometimes warn us from things that are about to happen (or could happen). I don't know whether this is a thing though.

@DefinitelyNotARobot Thanks for the report. I love it!

@StarStruck what do you mean? What and how did I personalise? What would my text look like if I had not personalised it?