museumoftrees

Are you saying I should fap before going out ?

What is the appropriate way of pulling a girl home during nightgame ? Is there an hour during the night that is better for pulling ? By that I mean, can pulling early in the night be done or is not feasible ? Also, can I go for the pull minutes after meeting her ? How long is the right length of time ?

I don't mind spending hours with a girl, in fact I love it. I've just noticed that time spent with one girl doesn't increase the connection. Creating connection and intimacy isn't usually a problem for me, displaying safety isn't either. It's mostly lack of forwardness from my part and i've been contemplating recently how I spend too much time without making a move. So right now i'm kind of swinging my pendulum to the other side and pushing myself to not wait to make things happen.

That was exactly my question, glad you could synthesize it into something simpler

However, mine does @aurum & @Leo Gura, thanks for the information, very helpful. Made a lot of sense to me.

You are making assumptions based off a question I asked. There is no problem

Wouldn't it be a better investment of time to try to pull her in 30-60 minutes and approach other girls if she isn't dtf than waiting and building connection ? What if you spend all your night on one woman ? But if she isn't attracted to someone under 30 minutes, how can that change in let's say 3-6 hours ? Makes sense. At 2am women must be in the state most optimal to have a hook up.

Exactly. Girls need to understand this. My degree of respect will never increase for a girl that makes me wait. Girls that make me wait, i'll make them wait by stopping the interaction altogether and letting them find a new prospect. Go ahead, wait, if that's what you want to do.

I can't wait to enjoy the deep emotional connection i'll have with a girl who is withholding sex from me because she is too scared that i'll reject her if she has sex with me. Also, sex isn't a formality. It's rather the absence of sex that is a formality. If you don't want to have sex with someone, you are not attracted to them. People that are attracted to each other want to have sex with each other. Emotional connection and attraction are very different things.

You went clubbing a billion times and had zero success?

I actually get annoyed by a girl if she tries to wait too long for sex to happen. I usually won't go on more than two dates, three dates maximum. Having sex on the first date is optimal for me. Feeling physical and emotional attraction and instantly consuming it is how I prefer things to be. I'm not going to be someone's puppy and jump through hoops to have sex with her if she wants to make me wait. I feel like making men wait is how some women try to gain control of men and that can be toxic.

Bro, you are going to kill it. Don't let self-doubt run you down. Once you hit the clubs and approach these girls it's a success no matter the outcome.

try pink hair, that's how i got laid the most

Seems like you have things to work on.

Hey guys, i'm looking for a good documentary or a series on the history of psychedelics. If someone knows any good one please let me know.

@Jonty Interesting, thanks

Simply don't try to be smooth by text and do not try to build attraction. Just arrange a date and don't text her anything else. She'll respond or flake independent of how you texted her. Text her something as simple as this : Hey - i'm free on the 17 - meet me at (x) at 7 No question marks

Reflect on the relationship, focus especially on how you could be a better partner in the next one. Think about what type of partner you would like to attract next. Work on every aspect on yourself. Spend more time working on your craft (i.e writing) and hone down on your talents and passions. Go on with life tasks and life purpose. Also, go into no contact. None of this 'staying friends' non-sense. Especially if one or both still have romantic feelings for the other.

We can't regulate the dating market. Do you want to be forced to have sex with women you are not attracted to or repelled by ? So why should women be forced to have sex with guys they are not attracted to ? Stop wasting your time with this non-sense. Society will not hand out sex to you neither should they

Hey. I'm in my early twenties, i'm physically fit and eat healthy most of the time. I don't watch porn, don't smoke, don't do drugs, etc. But sometimes, when i'm with chicks, I have troubles getting strong erections, especially before i'm penetrating her. If I succeed in not thinking too much about the anxiety of not being hard and stay excited long enough to where we both have our clothes off and I can put on a condom without becoming anxious and start to fuck her then I will be hard like a horse and there won't be a problem. However if I think too much about not being able to get hard I will become instantaneously soft just before it's time for penetration and I will spiral into feelings of shame. I know that my erectile dysfunction is caused by an anxiety to perform and to be hard. I just can't not care about not being hard. I'm wondering if anyone on this forum went through something similar and has solid tips to help me solve this problem permanently. I might be thinking of going to see a sex therapist, help me deal with these issues personally. Looking forward to hear about y'all advices and insights.

So it is the shame of being perceived as someone who can't get hard that maintains the softness (lol) ? How did you get yourself to stop caring about being hard ? Also, how many times did you have to use viagra and did it have any negative impacts on you ? ... Concerning the shame I feel over not being able to get hard I think the main sticking points and things I am afraid of is turning the girl off in bed (making her angry) or having her ridicule me either in bed when I can't get hard or talking to other girls behind my back and telling them i'm not as cool as I portray myself to be. This shows an oversensitivity to criticism, too much investment in others opinion and a general neediness and lack of confidence I think.

What's your ethnicity ?

https://mensbreakup.com/ @Seven7 I've found that this website helped me gain perspective about my breakup. Plenty of articles to read that will help you process what you are going through.

A good way to forgive yourself for your selfishness is to understand that ultimately you are an ego that is acting out a survival script (watch Leo's latest video How Survival Shapes You). Forgive yourself for not knowing better, you are a child that will learn forever. Her leaving you, in a sense, is consciousness or ''god's'' way of loving you, teaching you a lesson. If she would have stayed with you what would have likely happened is either you ending up cheating on her or discarding her and momentarily coming back in her life to use her for emotional comfort and sex without commitment. It's a part of her agenda to leave you. She did it out of love. Understand her survival agenda and honour it. If you take the lessons, let her go lovingly and move on, you will get the chance to repair what you did and heal the world with another person. For a while you are going to want to get back with her a lot, I understand that, i'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't and that exes are exes for a reason, that's your choice. However, understand that no amount of talking to her, convincing her, begging, calling, etcetera will get her back. Don't do anything to get her back. Until she misses you a few months from now, every conversation you initiate with her will confirm her bias that you don't deserve her and that she's right for breaking up with you. Leave her completely alone and level yourself up. Take the lesson, move on and be excited because this is a great opportunity for growth and self-improvement which is probably the purpose of why you are here. She might reach out in the future and you guys can work things out I guess, but you need to heal, change, improve and focus on growing right now. Do it as an investment in yourself. Don't cling to the hope of her coming back. Keep imagining a positive future for yourself. I recommend you delete every conversations you have with her, every picture you have of her, nudes of her and put physical reminders in a box somewhere you can't see for now. Focus on healing and moving on. I'm going through an almost identical situation man, i'll be there if you have more questions. Good luck Seven

I did the same thing in my last relationship that ended 3 months ago. I was getting more distant and less aware of her emotional needs towards the last 2-3 months because I wanted to have sex with other women. Just like you I let it die slowly instead of cutting it off. I sabotaged it. I thought I was going to break up with her. She forecasted the slow death of our relationship with her hyper feminine intuition and broke things off before I did though... And just like you I was devastated. I suggest you go to therapy and do serious contemplation. You need to figure out why you didn't cut it off immediately to go get yourself other women or why you couldn't chase the thoughts of other women and recommit to the one you had. That's what i'm currently doing.