Loba

I loved all the responses in this thread and learned a lot; you guys are really smart - we have right now a good group of people on actualized. This is a good forum to learn from if you are trying to play catch up in understanding more about the world.. I thought that, too, I think it's better to make little parks on rooftops instead.

@Leo Gura I've had an experience of this before. Cool, this was a helpful comment. Sometimes I question my experiences, I don't want to get into the trap that I often fall in of assumption, among others as well. So I try to keep an open mind. But I definitely remember quite a few times where I have had this happen to me, and I would probably word it in the same way, if I could. Infinity 'is' aware.

I agree. I feel it isn't so much the religion or culture itself, but how the individual interprets it. And some people use it to cause harm. I heard a story once of a Muslim farmer who took in a wounded American soldier because the Quran said something along the lines of treating all men as your brother - something similar to that. He chose to view the religion in his own way and focused on the positives and they stayed friends even after the soldier was deployed, the guy saved his life. From what I understand, you have to read the books as though you are bringing them into awareness/existence itself. As though the Word itself is what makes it so. And that is what gives them power; is the correct interpretation. Because I have some mystical experiences to fall back on, I can, just like the farmer - interpret, as far as I am able to, the Truth in these books and so I get a lot more out of them than someone who has never had an awakening before. I feel as though the people who use it to cause harm, do it because they feel the world would be better if it had a completely unified world view. And that's actually true, but I think that unified world view is actually going to be a hodge podge of the best things, the things we have created as a species that showcases Truth in all sorts of ways. From ancient books, to artwork, writing, music, architecture, ect. Why do you think Islam is more prone to hatred? I have very little experience with the religion other than the people I have met and they have all been nice and peaceful. Same with Christians.

I have the problem of occasional social stupidity. I work on it, though, I'm smart enough to see it.

I don't think you can. You can only speak what's true to you and if it resonates with another person, great, and if not that is also okay, too. It is fun to practice this, though - I love when I can inspire some sort of sense of awareness in another person. I think the best way to do this is to share music. I hear God in music much of the time and would love to share that "aha" sensation with others when listening to a good song.

All good.

@Someone here Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate to me tbh. I don't blame religion, because it is doing its best from the time period it was made to explain Truth - which, if people were able to understand it easily enough, there would be a lot more enlightened people out there. I have been meaning to buy the Quran in English, and got through some of the Bible and the Bible actually helped me when I was going through psychosis, I would open up a new page each day to read and it made so much sense. It is literally a book to ground lost souls in, if used properly. The way I took it is that the imagination creates what is all around us, and people can become unhinged and these books offer a grounding reality that all can agree on to grow from. Humans need stories, our cultures are built off of them. I realized as I was reading the Bible that I was bringing the Word into existence, and so I stopped reading because I was not ready to bring something like that into being. It is happening Now - what these books point towards, and always was happening Now - for whoever reads them and Knows they are bringing the Word into Being, and when you Know this - you tend to take the Word in these books more seriously. It is an individual process, for people to discover these books.

I don't know...? I'm more left-leaning, and I support both Christianity and Islam - I think religion has a lot to offer - I have had awakenings and can see what all religions point towards and have a soft spot for all religions.

Do you feel moved by beauty? I use this technique: I look at something beautiful and just stare at it until I feel at peace, and then I offer gratitude for being able to see such things - there are perfections within nature that, for a glimmer of a second, move beyond the ordinary into the extraordinary and these are the moments you want to look out for, to say, "aha...!" and to appreciate that moment as much as possible. Beauty can allow us to do this. Offer something beautiful in return - in the moment, give up your heart and soul to it. God made this for you, your whole life is for you! Feel into it, into your breath, breathe deep and with a purpose. (Find a song or image that speaks to you more than anything in the world and use that.) Now that you have your Love; collect it, and then send it out towards your fellow man. Directing your life that way creates a positive feedback loop that will spill out into your own life. "Don't think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here."

@Meta-Man I feel this is correct.

Leave, heal, then forgive.

Something unexplainable, that's in between the pages, that feels good in the soul and on the eyes or in the ears, something that unifies the senses; Truth, illumination, ect.

@OBEler Good idea!

I've experienced bubbles from an NDE. I think there's bubbles.

All female vocals.

I would try a daily schedule that takes care of yourself. Don't worry about self love, just focus on self 'care' - and the rest will take care of itself. I've been doing a daily schedule and feel somewhat more self Love. Add things that take care of your body, mind, emotions/feelings and make you feel happy. Do these things every day, as much as you can - and it is okay to get off schedule when practicing, the important thing is just to do those things. Self Love is about what you do for yourself. It isn't just sitting around feeling love for the ego or even the spiritual self, it is about small actions that tell your body/soul that you Love yourself. Words don't mean much without action. Try for a week creating a self-love schedule for you and practice it - make it light, open, and small steps that will lead to big goals slowly, but surely - and remember to enjoy the process - this is why there are no 'actual' goals in this schedule, it will lead towards goals, but the focus is on love and not that - it's just to create action that moves in a self positive direction - that's how positive manifestation works, too - if you can add a feeling of Will and Faith when doing your routine. This is the key to literal magic as well, as Loving and accepting yourself allows you to access more of yourself, and puts you back in your own power. This sort of loving is also grounding in the body, which is something a person who has trauma needs quite a lot. I find working out has been helping me stay in my body, I am starting with just 30 minutes a day and weekends off to let the muscles rest. Try dancing as well. Dance the way a woman with strength brings a new world into existence - a very present intuitive dance - this is also grounding, and can grow your "Will". This is needed just like Love is. You must shine, but also hold yourself high in the sky and so must be strong.

All good!

No, but it probably would help. General life experience is best, though, and a life you can show others that lets them know that you follow your own advice is good. If I were a customer, I might go to the person with a degree in something related to their work over someone who did not have the degree.

Mary Mueller Shutan is pretty good, I love her books - very helpful.

All good.

I have some notes and a tedtalk on how to change habits in my journal here, maybe this will help? It goes in depth on how to slowly change bad habits to good ones - something I am working on. Try to get back up and try again, it's okay to fail every once in a while as long as you keep trying. Just wipe off the dirt, carry on and keep at it. Tomorrow is a new day!

@Husseinisdoingfine Who watched gore here, this is a peace loving community!

The brain needs to be activated, try working out for 30 mins to an hour every day, and this will help regrow areas of the brain that feel pleasure. You get endorphins from working out, which feel good, it is productive, you'll get a hot bod, and it literally scientifically has been proven to fix areas of the brain damaged by depression and mental illness - exercise is the single best thing you can do if you are feeling depressed and it takes not much time out of the day, you just gotta be willing to do it. I have been working out for only a week, and taking weekends off to rest and I can already feel myself feeling more motivated, happier, and stronger in body and spirit. Try it - light to start with and then increase. I was nearly catatonic on a couch for a few years, and with meds and working out, I can feel those new connections being formed in the brain, and I feel myself having an easier time doing other things, it's like working out gets rid of resistance in a bunch of other areas of life.

@soos_mite_ah Both. The calm and the storm are reflective of where you are at imo. I am the same way, if I am in a calm environment where I can take care of myself and grow without a lot of stress, I am not neurotic, but the moment there is too much on my plate - it is like, I get overwhelmed with thoughts, and they take over and sometimes can cause delusions if they go on for too long - and then after a month or so of resting my brain - I am back to my "old self", which is very empathetic, good listening skills, good personal skills, kind, generous, all these good qualities that are so hard to maintain when stress hits. I feel a bit like a Jeckyl and Hide sometimes because I can't handle stress too well and spend a lot of time trying to improve my mood, so that I can function like a normal person. By baseline, do you mean - if you were stripped of nothing at all, that just the bare bones, the neuroticism would be a glue that holds a lot together? Like a frightened child almost? How was your upbringing, is there anything that happened that could have brought that out while you were growing? Because a baseline of neuroticism during stress can be a sign of previous trauma. How long do you have to live like this? Is there any point in the future where you will get the chance to have a more stress free life? Are you planning to build a stress free life for yourself? I would asap, and do what you can to take care of yourself in the little ways each and every day, even for just five minutes. I have started a self love and positivity journey and it is going well. Because that state, although later on is helpful for uncovering the shadow, in the moment it is very hard to do to be conscious while going through it - and tbh - you can uncover more about yourself from a calmed place, so although it can serve some purpose in seeing where you need to grow - prolonged, it doesn't help anything, and a calm state is going to help you maintain your mood/positive feelings much better, and you will also learn more about yourself when in a good environment. You can still grow, being stuck in a stressful place, but it is much harder and takes longer. The good states and the bad states are both you, and both indicative of where you are at - there just might be a split that needs to be repaired, and a lot of people have that. And it is perfectly okay. I would continue with your writing, and perhaps, in some of those darker moments, when you have the time, get it all out there. And feel through it, what is happening, perhaps what has happened - and put that dark energy into writing, because sometimes the darkness has a pattern of gold in it that you can't see until a year or two later. Do you have any time for yourself for a meditation habit to separate yourself from these thoughts? I would... meditate before writing when having these feelings to separate from them, and then inspect them like, from "above" yourself, like you just found a diamond and want to see every facet of it. Really get in there and get a good look, while distanced a bit from the thoughts... ...and over time, you should find a lot of creative material from within them, many solutions, and there will be a subconscious pathway that can help lead you in the right direction - it takes a few years of writing if you don't have a lot already down, but if you do, you can start looking for it now. When I had my mental breakdown and I went to the hospital for a month and a half, I wrote the whole breakdown down as I went insane for that year, and then later this year looked it over and found a lot of gems, about who I am as a person, that I was much smarter and stronger and more intuitive and creative in that moment than I ever thought I was - I had really... put myself down in a lot of ways because I hated myself, and seeing what I had written during those times gave me more humility, more creative material, more understanding of myself, my processes, ect, ect. So when you feel the darkness, really, make a trail - to bridge the two together and take the time to really make it 'you'. Because in these darker moments, sometimes we don't always see what makes us unique, so really showcase to yourself as best you can what you're all about, just get in there, into that subconscious and I promise the darker days will fuel some really beautiful things. Also, try to take it easy, if you can. Find ways to really pamper yourself, and just feel girly and lovely - set aside time just for that as often as you are able to. It helps. It really does. I got really deep into the neurotic thoughts and depression, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I'm just crawling out of it, and after just a week of taking care of myself, I can already sense my self esteem coming back. Do you have an underlying support system/ structure in place to keep everything together? I found that I had to return to my parents and live with them in order to have this, for you it will probably be different, but getting that structure together made all the difference for me. My anxiety was mostly survival oriented and once that was taken care of, it's like I slowly began to become a different, better person. Letter from the universe, on the verge!