WelcometoReality

Did you hold onto emptiness on your journey?

Nothing to hold onto.

And then there is only movement from and with wholeness Judgements fall away. Good and evil fall away. Heroes fall away.

@SQAAD Few are willing to let freedom go because having freedom feels good and letting freedom go feels bad. Which is the main driving force of the personal will. Letting go of freedom Into total stuckness is the way to truth.

It's not meant to be theoretical. I can see that you are in pain but I can also see that the pain is caused by believing thought. I'm not saying that this is easy. It takes work/dedication to see through it but it can be done. I've had many thoughts that caused a great deal of pain but only becaused I believed them. All it took was the willingness to let them go and the dedication to inquire into the underlying beliefs that was the cause.

That's spot on. ? They might or might not be an actuality in the future so believing that only creates suffering. The toothaste is not toothpaste it just is. The thought that it's your toothpaste is added to what is.

@Someone here Do such things exist or are they imagined?

I haven't used any psychadelics so I can't say whether it's true or not but the same can be said for what @Leo Gura buddhist no-self. The first experience of no-self is usually a glimpse that wears off after a while. A deeper one is the one where there are shifts between the self and no-self that pendulum back and forth. And abiding no self is permanent. @Leo Gura I guess what you mean about buddhist no-self is that no psychadelics has been used?

@assx95 You're trying to replicate the experience which comes from thought. Thought can't achieve that since it's only a part of experience. You are looking for that which you already are but it's impossible to find it. In a way it's a letting go of outcome and relax into being.

It takes some time to get adjusted to it. Or rather to let go of the old paradigm. And yet she'll come into isness whenever it's needed so nothing really changes in that regard. ? Yeah just "One" is probably a better pointer. ? It sounds nice though doesn't it? ? In a sense it's a letting go of any fixed POV. And then the appropreite POV will come into isness.

@Klaudia Very nice.

I agree with @Mu_ it can heal you. There a big chance you will use no-self as an escape. It feels so good escaping and so bad to face your issues. But eventually you'll face them. Especially since you'll be on the look out for any escaping happening.

I've had trust issues as well. They when I got hurt by a friend as a teenager. It was difficult to trust people after that. Deep down in the unconscious I didn't want to trust people because I didn't want to get hurt like that again. However after dealing with that issue I could after some years forgive him and that eventually led to being able to trust people again. Maybe this isn't the case for you. You will have to dig deep to find it. Or maybe you already know why. Oh I don't think its because it's me speaking. I think it's because you are bringing stuff up to the surface. It's good! Let the healing begin. ?

You are probably seeing ways that this distrust is effecting your life negatively or else you would go on like this without even thinking about it. Would be glad if you could trust us enough share it. ? Can you really have intimate relationships with others if there is no trust?

@diamondpenguin The doorway to that kind of death is connecting to the present moment. Surrender to it.

Yes, I think it's both. We do have some control and no control. Even when we are flowing there is a sense of control but what we are giving up is the need to control. Or as you put it "a sneaky need to monitor". These are great questions to explore. They are in enlightenment territory so maybe it's best to research what it means before exploring them.

@fopylo Thanks for sharing! I really loved this part. It's like we are so conditioned to do, do, do instead of just be, be, be.

Maybe that's why you feel separated from her? Because right now all she is is a thought in your mind. The difference between the thought and experiencing her isness. Also could it be that the thought of her being imaginary cause the apparent separation?

@VeganAwake

I see I was under the impression that you were doing it as a formal sitting. Give it time then.

@Javfly33 it sounds to me that you need a practice in addition to meditation. Some practice that starts when meditation ends. Maybe a mindfulness or surrender practice that you can use in your day to day life to keep (or at least not going down to baseline) the deeper state that meditation gave you.

It doesn't surprise me. It is a inward journey after all so introversion should be a trait that is helpful.

I whole heartedly agree. Enlightenment is a process of something falling away. You could call that something the ego or the personal will. It's seldom (read never) an instant eradication from a single experience. The ego loves to make that experience into a justification for why it is enlightened. @BipolarGrowth This is not meant to bash on you. You clearly are going through a beautiful awakening process but years from now you are going to look at this experience in a whole different light.

@tatsumaru The jesus story also describes this with his crucifixion and his scream Oh God, Oh god why have you forsaken me. on the cross. So it's realizing god to losing your god and going completely full circle.

Interesting. I was that way too. Except I would describe me as HIGHLY introverted. Always had a deep interest in how things actually worked.