at_anchor

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I'm feeling depressed. Nothing serious. It is just okay. I am fine. It is gonna pass. Let's say that person A grew up in some terrible situation where he was broken to pieces and had nothing left but to learn a new language if possible and move away from like Syria to Europe. Where would you tell em to go? He could learn any language, but the politics in Europe is different in different places. Would you tell him that joining the FFS is a good idea and getting a citizenship in a couple of years? Or maybe getting it without that. What's better for this Syrian, Germany or France? Unskilled labour is unlikely to find more work in Germany than France... I'm real confused about this. I wish I could learn both langs and adapt to both cultures. Germany appears to be more liberal and social. But France is so cool. Man, I wish I could pick one.. I am interested in French. But I just can't take it wholeheartedly. I'm afraid France doesn't have as many economical opportunities and jobs tbh

I don't know how. I don't have anything against ugliness and error if it is inadvertant, but evil is hard to accept. I was born good. I don't see how bad made me good at the moment. Maybe one day, maybe. Why am I good? I'm not perfect like a perfect saint, but I'm not bad either. I'm not even in between bad and good, but much closer to good.

Did you imagine impaling people who like to destroy innocent lives and create needles suffering for people who don't deserve? For me imagining this in any other way brings feelings of I don't know, error, alert, bad, this is not good. I guess empathy and justice.

Today I'm gonna add more than 3 statements about myself that I'm trying to answer whether they are true or not because I skipped a few days. "You often make a backup plan for a backup plan." I wish I was that forward thinking and smart. But no. I do try to do that though. So again, it is hard to say. I am bad at planning and decision making, but I'd be better if I had more experience and skills in this field. I am choosing the "somewhat disagree" circle for this one. "You usually stay calm, even under a lot of pressure." Well again, I don't know. I think I would stay calm if I ate healthy, slept well and wasn't under too big of a pressure. I think I would stay calm in many different situations. It all depends. I am gonna disagree with this one, although it might not be correct. "At social events, you rarely try to introduce yourself to new people and mostly talk to the ones you already know." Yes, of course, but that is not ideal or what I want. It might have been just lack of experience or some sort of trauma, and so forth. I will agree with this one though, cause for now, it is like that. Other times I can talk to strangers. "You prefer to completely finish one project before starting another." Yes, I guess. Or no, I usually quit. So I will disagree. But yes, I would like to do things in order. "You are very sentimental." This is not gonna work. Yes, I do things because of emotional attachment. So I am sentimental, agreed. But who knows am I really sentimental or not? I agreed, but this isn't a good metric system. "You like to use organizing tools like schedules and lists." Who doesn't? I just don't use them and can't plan so well. I'm gonna disagree with this one, although I actually want to do everything on schedule and with lists. That is productivity. I just need a vision, a goal. I'm gonna select "in between" for this one. This test is so inprecise... "Even a small mistake can cause you to doubt your overall abilities and knowledge." Yes, because I don't have good enough abilities and knowledge and so forth. Maybe the people around me also make me believe that. I am gonna agree with this one. But in a different setting, I would be better and more confident. "You feel comfortable just walking up to someone you find interesting and striking up a conversation." Definitely not, because of certain problems, but I would love to be able to do that. So I will disagree with this one. What a test,jeez "You are not too interested in discussing various interpretations and analyses of creative works." I don't remember the last time I discussed some kind of literary work or something. I am interested though, I think, so I will select the "in between" circle for this one too. But I think I do like that actually, very much. "You are more inclined to follow your head than your heart." Well, the heart doesn't speak, doesn't it? It just pumps blood. Yet I never use my head well to figure stuff out. I am gonna select the middle ground again. "You usually prefer just doing what you feel like at any given moment instead of planning a particular daily routine." Depends, but for now, let's agree to agree with this one... The thing is that I want to plan stuff out and be productive which is why Germany attracts me a bit. I'd like to install some discipline and peoductivity. "You rarely worry about whether you make a good impression on people you meet." This is 100% not true. But also depends, cause there are people that I just don't care what they think of me anymore. But let's agree eith this one... Ouch! I meant disagree. Now I have to restart the test, but luckily I can just copy the answers. Or let'leave it at that, cause, frankly, I would not give a fuck about what people think of me if I was rich, safe, healthy, happy. Or no, actually I would. I want people to think of me the same way they think of anybody else. I am not different. (No, I might be even better than some people in terms of selfishness and desire to be good)

I did some personality type tests to figure out what I need in life, where I should libe and so forth,but it doesn't quite work for me. Life is too complicated to boil this stuff down to a simple yes or no question. It all depends.

I will go slowly, if I tackle three questions a day, that would be considered fast actually... my previous answers: "You regularly make new friends." This one is hard to answer. I don't, but what if I would be making a lot of friends every day if certain issues were solved in my life? How do I know? I am disagreeing with this one. "You spend a lot of your free time exploring various random topics that pique your interest." I guess so, yes. I'm not sure that this is unique to me. Everyone googles stuff around. Again, I have no idea what is the correct answer, so I am gonna put it in between. "Seeing other people cry can easily make you feel like you want to cry too." Hmm, I don't see people cry at all. In movies yes, I can remember feeling sad and crying. Actually, I did experience something like this very often when I hear children cry, but I don't start pouring tears out of my eyes immediately, but I do feel unhappy from that. I'm selecting the in between circle for this one. (I should have strongly agreed)

My distrust of people now and anxiety is caused by certain factors that if they were not there, I would have to answer differently to these questions.

So math always comes before everything else. If you learn math, physics, chemistry and programming become easy. Programming is something I want to learn mostly because of money, while physics and chemistry help with understanding the hardware and how everything else works in this dream reality. Is there any better way to know that than by learning physics and chemistry? Maybe magh is all you need. I'm afraid it will take so much time for all of this and in the end, I don't want to learn programming before physics and chemistry. That means there will be no money for decades to come.

I will definitely understand a lot more about reality, but not the ultimate structure. I'm passionate about it all to be honest. You can't love chemistry without loving math and physics, but yes, I actually feel more passionate about chem.

physics vs chemistry which is more important to understand and why? do you think that you can study chem without any knowledge of physics? does physics come before chem? chem is important for understanding bio. biology is a fascinating thing, not engineering and processing metals. although engineering is also very relevant for understanding the world around and for education.

“We should not say that one man’s hour is worth another man’s hour, but rather that one man during an hour is worth just as much as another man during an hour. Time is everything, man is nothing: he is at the most time’s carcass.” Marx

Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

“The human being is in the most literal sense a political animal, not merely a gregarious animal, but an animal which can individuate itself only in the midst of society.” Marx

“Necessity is blind until it becomes conscious. Freedom is the consciousness of necessity.” Marx

"Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.” Marx

@spiritual memes do you mean that's more computer science and electrical engineerimg than chemistry?

reference: Rare Beautiful Creatures