Gabith

Great movie by Noe ! Starred Up

What are your thoughts about the spiritual teacher Matt Kahn please ?

I started smoking weed 1 year ago, I am not addicted but I think I'm not far from developping a psychologic addiction. I don't smoke everyday and don't want to because I want to keep the effects and I don't want to be addicted. The two past months, I did 3-5 days in a row of smoking. I could notice that the effects were different, it was like background effect but still strong! It was almost negative, I felt a little bit less confident and happy, less positive. I had like 2 experiences where I would tell myself "If I haven't smoked I would feel better". I decided to stop 10 days, then I smoked again and it was GREAT, I had all the positives effects I was loving about weed, more presence, more insights, more positive thoughts, more facility to see beauty etc... Why does the effects have a tendency to become negative when we smoke for several days in a row ? Why do people get addicted and smoke everyday if that make them paranoid or less happier ?

In some of his videos Matt Kahn talks about responding to people judgement/rudness or complain with kind words like compliments for example. Do u guys took this habit and is it worth it ? I could take it as a "game" or social experiment but I'm not sure if it will be the best way to deal with this...

What are your experience with LNT ? Would you recommand it ?

@BeHereNow I love your post, thank you !

Leo and us are playing a game of exploration, endless exploration... Why ? There is nothing to find, no answer...

@Adodd And then we explore, we share it and it becomes eventually beliefs Are we really stuck doing this for Eternity ?

Are any of you honestly happy alone for long period like years without sex / a girlfriend ? I have a hard time with this, I have had periods where I was happy for a week or two, but unfortunately I always come back to the starting point: wanting a girlfriend, not a manipulative one or the first one that comes along like I used to do in the past. I won't put myself in that anymore fortunately, but I desire a real loving relationship. And sometimes when I try to be happy alone, I know it's somehow to make it easier to find a girlfriend because I know I'll be more attractive once I'm not looking for someone. So there's this trap that I set for myself: the desire to be happy alone not for the sake of it but for being more attracting and getting what I want: a girlfriend. I think it's due to a lot of conditioning. I can't admit that I can be happy alone for life. I feel like if it's possible, it will take me years of work at least. On the other hand, I know that if I fall in love with someone and I'm in a relationship with them, I risk to forget myself again and the relationship will end in a few months or years, I'll feel miserable again. I know that I have to be happy on my own to have a satisfying healthy relationship but I can't. Do you have any advice? Can you be happy alone for years without having desires about women, sex etc ???

There was a boy A very strange enchanted boy They say he wandered very far, very far Over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he And then one day A magic day he passed my way And while we spoke of many things Fools and kings This he said to me: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return"

Hey what about a little bit of Gratitude ? Share here what you're grateful for, take your time! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am grateful to have been born into a family where I was not physically abused. That I was fed, had a roof over my head and did not experience war as a child. I am grateful for the diversity of music. For the beauty I see in my eyes. The beauty of women, the beauty of a movie. I am grateful for the pleasures of sex alone or with someone. For the drugs and their powers to open my mind and see beyond human beliefs. I am grateful to be lucid enough to use them as tools and not as an escape. For not having an addiction outside of the Internet. I am grateful for the knowledge that I will cut this addiction with willpower and by getting out more often to do more street-interviews/activities. I am grateful for my ability to see the beauty in almost everything, to never find a limit to that beauty when I focus on it. I'm grateful for having seen the movie American Beauty and for the beautiful work of the tattoo artist who etched it on my skin. I am grateful for being sensitive and intelligent. For the courage I had after my first romantic breakup. For the interviews I do and the videos I make. I'm thankful for my guitar and my creativity. For the french toast I make for myself every morning. For my ability to enjoy all kinds of music and vary that enjoyment. I am grateful for the internet, for having access to ancestral knowledge that I would never have known or learned through school, family or society. I am grateful for the beauty of nature, the diversity of sensations, colors, emotions. The infinite possibilities to experience Reality. For the pain that sometimes shows me how powerful the Existence is and how good it is to feel "alive". I am grateful for the infinite Love that one day pierced me everywhere. I am grateful to realize little by little how much Death is a gift and how crazy it was to see it in such an ugly way. For this creation that frees us from the burden of an eternal life with the same body. I am grateful to laugh more and more without feeling bad, to be able to laugh at all this human madness, to see more and more things with detachment. To realize all the behaviors I unconsciously adopted to please people. To be more and more aware of the thought patterns that cause me unnecessary stress or fear. I am grateful for realizing how indoctrinated I have been and still am. To have the pleasure of discovering Reality and to drop each filter one by one to maybe one day have the courage to drop the veil completely. I am grateful to be more aware of my body, of the tensions I have been holding for years and to learn to release them. I'm grateful for the girlfriends I've had, what those relationships have taught me. And for all the prostitutes I've meet, their sympathy and charm. I am grateful that I am not absorbed by any ideology, scientific, religious, spiritual, cultural or political. I am thankful that I am not addicted to gambling, a sports team or gaming. I am grateful that I have a caring stepmother and that my father is happy with her. That my father was able to get over his alcoholism. I am grateful for the cold winter weather that allows me to appreciate the warmth under my bed sheets even more. To live alone and have a lot of time to myself. I'm grateful that I have a best friend that I can count on. I am grateful that if I live a few more months or years I will have many more experiences in this dream, good and bad. I am grateful for you taking your time to read & maybe contributing with your list.

I have gained confidence in myself over the last few years, loving myself more and meditating every day. I still feel bad when I do street interviews, I feel like people think I'm weird or unconfident. I always feel like an outsider and if they laugh I feel like it's about me or what I said. I have this with almost every person I meet, one out of 10 times I feel more comfortable with certain people and talk with them for a few minutes. But why can't I feel comfortable with more people than 1 out of 10 ? It's like it's true, people judge me, find me weird, too different, I can't stand it. I never feel like I belong here, when I go out I see people on their smartphones, people with a closed face, sadness, anger, unconsciousness, stress... Even an exchange of eye-contact in public transport becomes difficult, when it's a girl I see on her face that she's disturbed just by a 2 second eye-contact, when it's a man it's like they wonder "what do he wants ?" "do he wants to fight me ?" We're so disconnected it's awful how will I find a deep relationship in this society ? I feel like it will never happens no matter how much I love myself

@universe thank you

@JohnnyAb Yes I did meditation, using law of attraction, diverse exercices of self-love. It helped but not enough to stop caring about what others think. I didn't do real work yet like for example a solo retreat

What are your thoughts on the movie The Passion of the Christ ? Did you enjoy it ?

IDK, I started watching it but stopped after 30 minutes when they took Jesus it was too violent. But I will watch it in it's entirety when I'll be in a better state of mind

@Lila9 Thank you I watched The Social Matrix last year, I will have a better understanding of this video now

My joy, strength and awareness I had as a child was taken away. I was not given love, I was always wanted to be different and made to believe that if I was sad, angry or anxious, it was wrong and my fault. I was forced to eat food or meat that I didn't like by yelling at me and forcing me to stay at the table every night. I was yelled at because I couldn't understand math and was dyslexic. I was never encouraged or given sincere compliments. My parents expected me to do well in school and to be the child they wanted, another child. My father was a weak, alcoholic man who was unable to open up to me, my mother was overprotective and always projected her fears onto me and made me more and more fearful and weak. She was always there to criticize me and make me feel bad. I was made to believe that I had to be nice to everyone and that it was always my fault. That I had to behave this way and not that way. I was indoctrinated and violated by the school system, history, science, religions, European culture, philosophies, Belgian identity, media, movies, American ideologies... I was made to believe that there was good and evil, I was told who was the enemy and who was not, who to trust and who to distrust. I was taught to judge people simply because they were different from our family; nationality, skin color, culture, religion, poverty, the slightest difference was good to mock or judge... The strength and freedom that I naturally had was taken away by all these toxic mental creations that man has clung to. I was shown everything but the essential. I was never taught to love myself, to meditate, to question everything, to be authentic and to listen to myself. I was made to believe that happiness was external or that love was found through another person. I was taken away from my true nature, from God. After this destruction of who I really was, I was made to believe that I was just this body, a mortal and limited human form. I was taught to fear death, to worry about past & future. All this left me with a huge hatred, a hatred towards all these unconscious humans, this human society as it is and becomes. A hatred towards all those parents who destroy the freedom, the strength that lives in each child. All this to shape him and make him "useful" to a sick model of society or to form the child according to the wishes of his parents. I hate all those humans who, through the centuries, have created and reinforced the illusion of hierarchy and separations. Those humans who have destroyed peaceful or spiritual tribes, those monsters who have created countries, castes, slavery and who have justified their atrocities in the name of God. A poor vision of God narrowed by the books of their religion. I hate television that manipulates the masses in fear and ignorance, this screen that destroys couples and families because they vegetate unconsciously in front of a screen instead of living. For the smartphone that makes me find myself surrounded by zombies when I look around. These "social" networks that have destroyed the real bonds and that keep people in a state of withdrawal, like heroin addicts constantly thinking about their next dose. I hate the pornography that is in front of the eyes of a teenager who will end up with a false vision of women and sex. A teenager who will not know how to let go and connect with their partner because they will confuse sex with performance. I hate marketing that plays on people's weak points to sell them toxic or useless stuff that will make them even more unaware. These ads are everywhere in front of my eyes in cities, at bus stops and even in buses. I hate the governments that create more and more rules and rigid laws to limit our freedom, in the name of "security". I don't know what to do with this hatred and sometimes I feel it calling me and there is something tempting about its dark side because it seems to hold the power I have lost, a power that I need to feel good, authentic and more confident. When I connect with it a bit, I get images of domination, torture and rape of innocent people and it comes with a feeling of power with a very satisfying side. On the other hand, I know from experience that I want to go towards the light (love), but when I try to love people, I end up forgetting myself or believing that I owe them something and this hatred remains in me anyway. I don't dare to go looking for it. I'm afraid of going crazy, being traumatized or hurting others if I go looking for the emotion further.

I'm in complete grattitude and WILL to love myself right now... I think that experiencing one of my worst day and experiencing this hate helped me to realize some things...

@Amannl3in I want a simple life

Telling me that my pain doesn't matter is not helping me I feel the need to blame others, I've always blame myself for too much years maybe it feels better to blame others for once Blaming no one is not possible I have too much hate, I tried to love everyone and it made me even more miserable

I changed myself for years, this hatred never go away

I did a ketamine therapy two days ago, I sniffed 40mg & added another 40mg 50 minutes after the first trace. I was laying down on my couch and letting go, relaxing, as I gained more peace I said "God takes me" and I tried to reassure myself that I can really let go. Because when I let go there's always a point where I can't go further because of intense fear appearing, so my tactic is to deepen my faith and use God as something external helping me... Suddenly I had an intense fear, I saw very quickly an image of a tiny crippled entity in a grave/under the ground, it felt like me and it was bringing me in the opposite direction of Heaven. I didn't find the courage to stay with it even if I knew I had to bring this part of myself towards the Light. I opened my eyes and I had put some music to distract myself. I'm afraid of becoming crazy or being traumatized if I go right into it. Do you have tips to stay with the fear ? I guess there's maybe a safer way to stay with the fear ?

@Mu_ Sounds like a good & loving way to deal with it thank you

I think too but not sure yet