Elton

End of the day and I totally fucked up but hope optimism and future-mindedness is my top strength.. I hope tomorrow things will be different.

@Mostafa Kibar why did you start your course? What aspirations did you have before starting... Get in touch with that, don't just study for grades or anything external. If you think this is not the right degree for you change it do what you love, follow your bliss find the courage to do it I'm searching my purpose now after i completed a degree I'm not really passionate about.

@Elton Its so hard I’m around this kind of addictive substances all the time cravings just won’t go away I have an addiction I just have to give in to the cravings Shut up who the hell are you to whine to me shut up already stop boring me with your story don’t give me your little stories like how your around these kind of substances all the time do you think you’re the only one buddy everyone I know and everyone that’s around me and everyone that’s related to me does all this all day these crappy things are everywhere I look I’m no different from you except I don’t give in. DO I have super human powers? No Do I not give in because my muscles and arms are bigger than yours? No Do I not give in because I can bench press more than you? No Do I not give in because my body fat is lower than yours? No Do I not give in because I’m physically better and stronger than you? No I do not give in because I’m mentally stronger than you? That’s all there really is it’s only mental and for me to give in and for you to not give in only we can assume that I’m mentally stronger than you. How does that make you feel? I don’t know a dam thing about you but I know that mentally I can do something that you can’t do. It sure makes me feel good though. In fact it only motivates me more so thanks for being so mentally week cause it only will make me work harder during my next work out. Next time your little food craving tends to come out think about this look at that substance and think what do I want more 5 sec and pleasure of enjoyment that I’m going to get on taking this in or the enjoyment of the fact that 24 hours every day 7 days every week I will have the body I want to have that’s what it really comes down to; let me tell you no thing is as good as that feeling feels; your reward to sticking to your commitment are all the results you will get so stop giving in to your cravings and your cravings will go away its really simple as that; now I know what you’re probably thinking… you’re thinking right now who am I ? Who am I to be telling you this? like I never cheat or I never give in or I do not have any cravings…… no I don’t; not at all , not a little, not in moderation , not in anything; the thought of doing anything like that doesn’t even enter my mind . I don’t need those 5 sec I’m stronger than that , call it will power , call it mental strength my goal is my result getting the result doesn’t have the 5 sec of chewing pleasure on it, I live for purpose not for pleasure. I give my body only what it needs to let these results happen. Does my body need 5 sec of tobacco to get the results? No Does my mind need it? No My mind is way too strong to need it and that feels much better than any cigarette whatever taste I love knowing that so it’s exactly as hard it is for you as it is for everybody else you’re not a special little flower The amount of will power it takes for you to succeed it’s the exact same it takes for everybody else. What’s the difference ? I have what it mentally takes and you don’t

8/2/2016-woke up on time little late but that didn't keep me from going back to sleep and waiting to wake up earlier tomorrow , exercised , meditated , went to work , didn't smoke yet and now i feel a certain type of emotional reaction instead of feeling integrity ... in my chest, interesting .... couple of things more and my routine will be complete... 9/2/2016-work up on time earlier , exercised for longer meditated went to work and then what happened ? the shadow took over. 10/2/2016-didn't wake up on time , managed to meditate , the dark energy is loosing its intensity. 12/2/2016- no routine :-( had gone for an interview. 18/2/16- so many days no routines... that makes me feel low on integrity.

this journal is over i'm starting a new one in which all these activities will be integrated

9/2/2016-As I read and learn content regarding finding my purpose i am getting few hints ... sometimes these hints feel so clear and sometimes too blur. Lets see if i can tap into my higher self , which means i have to let go of my lower self to me simply doing the right things and not doing the things that will sabotage me is being my higher self; could higher self have another meaning ? i don't know up-till now. 10/2/2016- future prediction for today , to read and to be inspired . 12/2/2016-no finding of life purpose today went for an interview where i have more financial growth. ummmm no i will read at least one page of one book. 18/2/16 tomorrow is the next round of my interview ... i have to go and take possession of my job tomorrow afternoon. 24/2/16 there will be a final presentation round very soon i have to go and take possession of my new job very soon.

this journal is over i'm starting a new one in which all these activities will be integrated

7/2/2016-The shadow is becoming darker and darker , there seems to be so much light of hope out here , so much light of hope inside. this light should reach ; the known and the unknown aspects within me within you . the energy must transform . using energy for energy ... using the energy i put in useless unwanted things that are not doing me any good perhaps leading to self destruction and ultimately world destruction... but how do i do this ? the shadow refuses to submit ... i'm creating my own thoughts , this can be viewed just as a concept or model just Being and taking the right action is what i should do . message to reality.... 'JUST BRING IT' even after writing all this i feel i'm going to go back to the shadow today maybe tomorrow might bring a light of hope ... :-( or maybe the evening oh man ..perfectionist attitude is ruining me :-( 9/2/2016- fell back into the dark today evening after one whole day that too in the evening also realized how willpower either is built up or down ! 10/2/2016- its so difficult to not change people try extra hard to be the same that is what i am doing :-/ 11/2/2016- job interview call was a massive trigger 12/2/2016-same massive trigger for going to my lower self. 18/2/2016- I don't need to wait for some perfect date and time, now is the Time to drop all my Addictions... Now is the Time. 20/2/16-still stuck in the groove. 24/2/16- still stuck but the time is very near , time to be healthy . 26/2/16- Time to face reality,to embrace it truely as it is to accept whatever comes with it,to be integrated with it,to feel the oneness the trueness, even the bitterness to smell the roses,to smell the pile of shit...time to live completely.(so shut the Fuck up and do it, thats when it really counts)

this journal is over i'm starting a new one in which all these activities will be integrated

8/2/2016-100 push ups 20 leg raises 100 squats 9/2/2016- 100 push ups 20 leg raises 100 squats (x2) 10/2/2016-Future set burpee max (5min) hahahaha 51 :-) 11/2/2016- 10 burpees 25 bur 10 bur 10 climbers 25 cli 10 climbers 10 high jumps 25 high jumps 10 high jumps + using dummy loadcells of 2.7 kgs when the boss was away Chest combo + shoulder combo + biseps combo + push ups + legs combo. 12/2/2016- rest day 18/2/16- full body combo with 5 kg 23/2/16- burpee max 5 min

this journal is over i'm starting a new one in which all these activities will be integrated

@Rahul yadav thats a thought an internal voice focus on that for some time and see what happens.

@DizIzMikey i always do it in the train its fun,I get a bonus of few more min to my med practice... People come and go and stare I look outside the window so I don't throw any boms at people...

@jes Read the book the power of the subconscious mind. Implement meditation focus on current reality

@MikeS worrying is a negative loop in your head which makes you stuck.you can worry about the past or the future so thats not being in the present, you can choose worry about something if you can take action on it otherwise it is useless.

@Huz88 yes check out Leo the artist.

@PeakPerformance i hope you are not falling asleep ;-) try keeping your back straight,sit on a chair initially for support let go of control of your thoughts and do nothing.

@rush im on board with this idea because I know this is going to be the best life, smelling the roses, but my mind comes up with a lot of stories which seems real,so first I want to become financially free, and start my own business then I will be free to apply this concept, also meditation will help me be more focus so that the little time I put in will give me massive productivity I want to do this Smelling the roses

@Mary you start by reducing TV time and doing some meditation work, the images and thoughts you see hear and feel will be much more entertaining than t.v. ;-) and maybe if you are lucky you will realise how you are not real too just like your t.v.series

@Mary your mind becomes free and your time becomes free, you can find your true values easily as t.v. Corrupts them you become aware of mindless consumerism and how reality works,t.v. Is a series of endless climaxes.

@Kelley White @Natasha @Saarah @JustinS @Mal @Anna @charlie2dogs @DizIzMikey thank you soo much guys for I feel so good as I read all your comments :-)

@jes go to sleep very early and get up very early

@Leo Gura newtonian time says there is only limited time in the world, try following the Einsteinien std. Time it would be great for all Actualized.org followers... ;-)

@DrMatthewsausage a calm mind can grap things better than a tensed or anxious mind, I would study 2 days before the exam with a calm mind in 48 hours the whole earth moves around its self two times so thats a lot of time... just focus and try to eliminate distractions for a while, refer to previous years question papers and keep a positive mindset.

@IVONNE start making mimdset shifts from competitor to creator, You can keep studying till 102.. Or more if your still alive.