Natasha Tori Maru

Ha ha ha, legacy of millennial fashion I think they are unflattering and never wore them. Bootcut, flares and wide legs all the way!

@Carl-Richard Carl... are you flirting with me? You bloody telepathic devil! I laughed out loud at this

It sounds like you both desire a break, or change, in the name of more life experience (from your own descriptions of conversation). But the fear of change and loss is immobilizing you; almost as if you have FOMO in both directions - fear of missing out on experience as a single person, and fear of missing out on a deeper and longer connection with your SO/fear of separation. With breakups such as these, when you are young, and love is newer (as in, you have not been through breakups, and do not yet know if you can trust your ability to recover and love again) it can feel earth shattering. Your whole world feels like it is ending, as typically, first loves are very enmeshed. We can feel some dissolution of ourselves in this enmeshment; making our wants and desires less clear. And when you do break up, no matter on what terms, you will grieve. Because it is the death of a way of life as you knew it; it totally ends. This you need to be prepared for, if you do break it off. If nothing about this relationship changed, no improvements, no breakthroughs & no decline either, would you choose this life five years from now, freely, not out of fear, guilt, or loyalty? Sometimes with first loves, first experiences, we are choosing a life before we have chosen ourself yet - because we haven't experienced enough to KNOW ourselves yet. You are at a very difficult crossroads. You do not want to harbour resentment - this is the death of love. I have a lot of compassion for your situation. I have been there. And it is not easy. I chose to sit with how I felt, regarding the above question in bold. Free of guilt, fear, or loyalty - what feeling comes up if you were to choose to leave?

Pretty much why I do not like to use these terms outside of clinical use; normally a formal diagnosis stipulates the individual has to be unable to function in a normal/standard way to qualify (or are significantly impacted day to day). While the label can help in understanding where we lie on a spectrum, I do not like to label myself with anything at all. In addition, terms and labels are always loaded with context from others; language is so nebulous, I can say one thing, and another person can derive or understand something COMPLETELY different. All the more reason to stick with formal diagnosis rather than self assessment.

@Joshe Thanks for the input - you probably have a decent profile of me, considering our ongoing dialogue and your general interest in personality types No problem with that on my end, definitely a function of my upbringing. Crazy alcoholic artist raising me really impressed individualism to an extreme. Could also be nature - I think I can be, shall we say... headstrong? (I say this over stubborn lol). I do raise it is a process though, and there were some aspects of myself I struggled to accept. But not ND related - gender/sex related, believe it or not! Yep, I guessed you would have clocked that also. I do think there is a neurologically adaptive component. This conversation has made me put neurodivergence on the list of 'hours of reading literature, ten thousand internet tabs & coffee'

Where does it prove, and what point does it prove? Reference unclear. Glad you could clear up in your mind it doesn't work, nevertheless. I am happy to help guide your contemplations. Good for you! Work is getting you there Again as above, directly quote where I say or imply this. I note you weren't able to quote my other request also. Quotes will assist backing up your accusations. But as I do not see them, I will merrily dance on

@Breakingthewall It is my understanding you are not a solipsist? To be clear my questions are just trying to make out your cosmology. Not here to tell or convince anyone

I suppose this touches on a wider scope - if ND is becoming more prevalent; when does it begin to appear to be an evolutionary manifestation of human intelligence, as a response to our rapidly evolving technological environment? You could argue a case that with the advent of smartphones, we are already cyborgs, or a form of. I do not feel I am ND. Maybe others here can assess how they view that within me, I have NO idea how I am perceived or much about ND. I know I am wired very, very differently. I just do not label myself.

Tell me the downsides to transhumanism? Ethics etc Lets stick to the topic being argued, not each others person, hey? I made a statement about the topic, you made a statement about me being open minded. I make no statement about technology being bad, or pushing humanity intellectually. Or spiritually. It is not transhumanism per se I have issues with, as much as it is hype, eugenics, ethics and the corruption behind some avenues of it IE chip in brain. And to be clear, my opinion is not a reflection of the moderators, Leo, or Actualized.org. It is an ethical and moral one of my own. I am not about to shut down dialogue, I like open discussion. But I will admit sometimes it is more a comment on the difficulty moderating such topics; some topics are naturally more catalytic.

I make no such assumptions. I can fend for myself Show me where I said you cannot have a differing opinion? Direct quote, thank you. Outside of being an arbiter of forum guidelines. You are in for a BIG surprise!!!!! I think you are a touch young, inexperienced and innocent. Just a guess. Life will have some... interesting... things. To reveal to you. Is there anything else I can be assistance with?

I do not stop because I cannot be perfect. I limber around, happily imperfect and never knowing ⟵⁠(⁠๑⁠¯⁠◡⁠¯⁠๑⁠)

This is just so open a question, I could answer it in ten pages or none. Like asking the meaning of life 🤪 Why not? Just because the tool isn't perfect ... We can point together

@Breakingthewall gotcha, I think the way it was written reversed the meaning. @theleelajoker not sure regarding your rant, I think you pulled a comment out of context. Maybe some assumptions there about what you perceive I may be aware of, or not. Or what I am really pointing to. Words don't have any inherent meaning without context. You can be more or less accurate/defined. I think you assume a lot about my context. No where did I say words are reality or can describe truth in totality.

I wish! Transhumanism is garbage

I was never told this. And I do not think this. These are your assumptions. You are speaking of yourself here too, you realise? You do not escape this. This is human nature. You do not have to. But the question remains - you keep posting. Keep professing. Keep claiming sovereignty. There is something you are seeking, nebulous as it may be. So the question remains - what can we assist you with? Those who are confident and self assured, rarely need to repeatedly profess things in an unprompted and emphasised way. You do not strike me as confident in your conclusions. There is something you are wanting with posting, no? Are you numb, and seeking a battle in an attempt to feel something? I am not sure. You tell me

Genetics is always the limiting factor. I wasn't sure if you were really into the BB scene or just fan of some of the characters. I am sure you recall the grapefruit fiasco, no? Huehuehue

Is spirituality about emotions? Is it true only if it feels safe? Not wrong, but tautological.

I am not trying to minimise any experience you have had. Red markup by me. I just see this statement/description, and it leads me to believe you experienced something direct or unnammable. Perhaps not awakening. Or no self. I will never know for sure - it is your experience. There could be more to be realised in that space, it was not reductive for me. There was paradox. In addition - trying to 'see the point' might be limiting in these arenas. Maybe, anyway.

For me, in my experience. Yes.

Creatine has been a huge benefit to me. As a reference, I begun using it without adjusting anything else diet/lifestyle wise. I started on 5g for weight training/hill sprints/mountain biking. Benefit 100% power wise. No water retention, but muscles were fuller. Gradually went up to 20g a day. Past 10g I found incredible nootropic benefits: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/110771-creatine/ Still going strong. Still find great benefit. Gastrointestinal issues subsided as I slowly increased dose. 10g 5:30am in morning coffee pre-exercise, 10g midday coffee to work through until 7pm. I cannot take it later than 12 or I am up all night. Require on average 1hr less sleep.

Sort of, yes. I am a moderator after all. I am an arbiter of the forum guidelines. This is a silly question - yes? He he he Only insofar as my role allows. Subjectively I am free, within guidelines, to give you unsolicited views and opinions as I so wish. Tell me what? I do not understand what you are referring to.

I think that is SO open to preferences and interpretation ! Totally subjective. I have 2 sealed subs, a centre, left/right and rear left/right connected to an amp/receiver. I purchased each speaker separately through a process of listening and sampling each at a high end audio shop. They set up a range of different amps/speaker combos to listen until you find the sound you prefer. It just so happened the sound I preferred cost that much. I did add speakers over time from a simple amp/stereo set. Some people do not need as much equipment to get to something special. I have always been obsessed with sound and soundstages. I love tweaking my setup to get to that precise sound I love!

@theleelajoker Gotcha. As I read through, it seemed to me you were organically putting to text these concepts you were seeing played out as repeated patterns, in your own unique way. You gave me the ammo - I just simplified so I could better understand your perspective I find summarising back helps a lot to avoid misunderstanding. Muchas gracias!

You have the best reference pool in that brain of yours. A catalogue of delicious delights. Always a treat

@Joshe Clean & balanced. I would possibly increase the font boldness or contrast for the vision impaired (appears just below normal contrast levels on my monitor). You ableist piece of shit You can come at me for unsolicited advice, COME AT ME