caspex

Focus on 'I AM'

The face you make when you are enlightened: (Those who watched HxH know what I mean.)

Imo it's much more than that. And idk how your definations go but i think it's weird to put nirvana before self realization. Here's how I'd define it in simple terms. 1. Searching For The Ox - You searching for ultimate contentment in daily life without actually realizing it so you go after money, sex, power, fame, etc. Or you hearing about enlightenment and going for it loosely which is direct pursuit of the ox. 2. Seeing The Footsteps - Getting glimpses of something but not quite sure. Being very interested in philosophy because you see some value in it that you cant really pinpoint. (Your philosophy really being spirituality, but you do not call it spirituality because you dont like that .) Or maybe you do consider yourself spiritual and you are some buddhist monk who has been going at with meditation and have started to see something you are not quite sure. Tons of nuances. 3. Seeing The Ox - A mystical experience of any of the facets of awaking. Or multiple experiences. See how in this picture, there is only tail or a part of the ox shown? Because you rarely see it in full the first time. 4. Catching The Ox - Trying to be able to embody whatever you have realized fully. Like tryna embody self-realization/god-realization after initial seeing. 5. Taming The Ox - After you have embodied it, you keep going deeper and deeper into your understanding and awakening, 6. Riding The Ox Home - You embody even the deepest parts of those realizations. You know you do not exist, there's only God, but also are in a state of no mind. You let life truly unfold on it's own without any interference because you cannot interfere in the first place, This is state of pure bliss. As stated in the poem. End of suffering. Your biggest obstacle to knowing the full truth is bliss now, the opposite of suffering. 7. The Ox Transcended - True end of seeking. 8. The Ox & Self Transcended - Despite all your realizations and embodiments, there was still some percentage of self/ego left, maybe 0.0000000001% but it was there. Now it has gone completely. Even without you seeking, because once you have embodied those realizations, those realizations act as a flame that slowly melt away your delusions even without you trying. As stated in the poem "Could a snowflake survive inside a burning flame?". You understand God even deeper, passed the hurdle of bliss. Emptiness, nothingness. You probably cannot say anything about this emptiness at all. 9. Return To The Source - Grounding yourself back to earth. Coming back into the world. 10. Re Entering The Market Place - You do not preach, do not teach. You are so fucking enlightened that you can hand people realizations without any effort. In my definition of Nirvana, it is merging back into the source. So that'd be the death of your body. You cant have Nirvana or Mahasamadhi until your body is alive and kicking. Atleast that's my defination. Keep in mind my accuracy goes down from Taming the ox onwards. As taming the ox is as far as I can see lol. Also this is all mental masturbation without the work. We tend to project our journey and understanding of spiritualty onto the meaning of these stages, why? Because we want to be as high as we can in this 'model of enlightenment' to feel good about ourselves and then declare that to the world. Imo these stages have a fuck ton of nuances and go much deeper than what I said in this reply.

I have been 'seeking truth' for only about 1.5 years now and have come to see a very big problem. I cannot ever truly look for the truth. Thing is, everytime I tell myself that I want to know the truth, it is always because of some other underlying desire. Even my most honest attempts to know the truth was because I did not like suffering. I did not like being deluded. And that's the thing. I am never really looking for truth unless it benefits me somehow. Either to be less deluded or satisfy my curiosity. That is a very big problem because after our desires are fulfilled, we don't even think of looking further untill some new desire pops up. And we think we are done. So are we really seeking absolute truth or our desires? You could obviously desire to know the absolute truth in its entirety, but isn't that what God is already doing, trying to know it's infinity. So that desire itself would be similar to some desire that cannot be fulfilled. So I have found myself in quite a pickle here. I am always seeking a part of the truth to fulfill my desires. And I can ofcourse desire the end of my desires, and I might even eventually get there, but won't I stop seeking truth then? Seeking truth for the sake of truth is yet another desire. And I am not saying desire is bad or anything, but in my view, this means we never actually seek the truth, but our desires. What are your thoughts on this?

Krishna is a nice example but this leads me to believe that coral or beyond is not even about teachings anymore. Thing with Krishna is, in Hinduism there is a belief that there are infinite lokas (realms), and as you are able to astral project etc., you can transcend rebirth in Mrityu Loka(Death Loka, which is this realm). Or, you could get AtmaGyan(Self-realization) then BhamhaGyan(God-Realization) which would free you too. Now after that you could use your astral body to explore VishwaChitt(World Conciousness, Akashic Records, World Mind, etc.) which contains all the lokas. And if you are capable enough you could create your own loka and become a diety. You could also materialize in any Loka you want. Multiple at the same time if you wanted(The body you materialize isn't actually physical or material if you choose to not take birth but rather just materialize a body). Now this is all concepts and beliefs, but here's why I said all this. It is believed Krishna was the Godhead(Basically the highest entity), taking form in this Loka. That's why it is said Krishna's body was not material as well. This is one way of looking at it. So would stage coral be about transcending this Loka? Because if that'd be the case, it'd be a very individualistic approach, as thought of Stage Coral.

Focusing only on the direct experience and without thinking, staying still, penetrating deeper into existence. Kinda like having sex but with existence. second method which is easier for me is contemplation

@Sempiternity @Understander @Someone here @Kalo What yall said goes with what I am trying to say, you can never really seek the truth but your desire for it. The experience itself is end of you seeking the desire as what 'you got' was greater than the desire. You can say you seeking your desire for truth will lead to realization of truth, so ultimately you seek truth, but at the same time, you are technically always chasing desires until you are not. @SolarWarden Yeah

Someone define stage coral, my idea of it is too vague to contribute anything to this thread

Well, I can't do anything. It comes on its own. But the thing is, it only comes because there is a desire or intent to know. If it came without it, everybody would be god-realized.

I have been contemplating on what makes sound and movement different from silence and stillness respectively. But as I observe deeper and deeper, I cannot seem to find a difference between them. It's a mindfuck for me. When listening to music or someone talk, silence itself seems to define the sound. I couldn't interpret the sound if there was no silence. But I tried to focus on does silence actually follow the sound? And if silence does follow the sound, what is sound while it is happening. All I got when looking into this was a mindfuck. That sound IS silence, But then how can I differentiate between sound and silence if they are literally the same thing. I have no idea. It makes no sense, yet it does. Sound seems like a wave into awareness, that pops up and down in different frequencies. But even it is popped up, it is no different from silence. I have no idea how this is. Same with movement and stillness. Movement is literally just infinite amount of stillnesses. But even without that way of thinking, it still is equivalent to stillness. It lead me down a rabbit hole. I had to contemplate distance/space. I realized that I just imagine space/distance including the feel of it(Just like Time). And it's not just about me seeing technically 2D images through my vision. It's the fact that there is literally no difference between any sensation at all. Vision = Sound = Every Other sensation(Physical, emotional or mental like thoughts). And that vision and all sensations are happening at the same singularity which has no location and no dimensions to it. It's literally nothingness. I am imagining everything including myself, and the imagination itself is part of imagination. A strange loop. So it's not that everything is beyond space and time, there is literally no space and time. What the fuck?

I kid you not, saw this same type of flower bloom in my vision from top down during a very, very deep meditation into focusing on the "I AM". It was white and out of nowhere(literally), came this vision of it blooming. At the time I was very emotionally invested so I paid little attention. But I couldn't help but think "Some chakra opened maybe" which ruined the focus and I had to step down. But good to know that it may mean something nice.

Man I can relate with that experience. It feels like this is just it and you are done. It's a sudden realization which is multitudes higher than your current understanding and it fucks you up. For me it has been sudden breaks into the robotic flow of daily life and realizing, "."

Pure conceptualization but, what if you dont need to use the body to recreate a DMT breakthrough? What if Astral Projection works and you could achieve a big ass breakthrough through means of an Astral or whatever body in some other world your projected to? Just conceptualizing because I have never experienced psychedelics, nor proper astral projection at will.

Maybe contemplate on "How do you feel lazy?"

Will require a lot of responsibility and work to pull off, and the results may be that it might run fine until Leo is alive or still managing, but after that, it's almost guaranteed to go to shit. So I think this much is enough.

Just gonna use this post/occasion to show how grateful I am for you Leo. You literally acted as a Guru for me and probably lots others when it comes to spirituality. Many aren't fortunate enough to be able to find a Guru, but your guidance is very helpful if one has an internet connection. Your work has helped me tons. Thanks dude, and Happy Birthday. Edit: I don't think repeated Happy Birthday's is gonna do anything. Maybe show how grateful we are, maybe that could add to his day as a gift from us.

I have read the book and, I believe that what he says in the book is most likely true. However, it's just a belief I hold for now, and I am actively trying to verify those things for myself through learning astral projection(I need to first verify this too lol). If anything works I can share with the forum if you want. Imo all this shouldn't be of concern until you realize the true self, nor will it work before that properly anyways(I think). And after knowing the true self, it's all just for play anyways. Also what Leo points out. Self/God-realization is more important than occult things, relative to wanting to understand the truth. Because those realizations are so meta that no matter whatever reality or state you go in, it'll be true.

At this point in life I will lose my integrity if it's very painful. If it's a quick painless death, I might go through with it but, 99% chance is I won't.

I need help. I have no idea how to surrender to 'the ox'. I have no idea how to kill myself. I see so much of my egoic tricks and it's so fucking disgusting. But ofcourse then I realize, me feeling disgusted of my egoic tricks is also an egoic trick. I see that I am the reason for all suffering and I NEED to kill myself. I have been trying to understand myself by focussing on the one focussing so much but it seems to be getting nowhere. All my previous realizations were bullshit ego games mixed in with little bit of mystical experience and truth. I do not have access to any substances and I am too young for that. All I got is meditation and self-contemplation. I am also very impatient and I don't know how to deal with that. I need help. How do I die. Please tell some tips and advice. I'll keep on meditating on myself.

I usually enter this kinda thing self induced by sleeping 4-5 hours, waking up, spending about 30 -50 mins doing something that keeps you awake but still somewhat sleepy. Then go to sleep with full awareness. Basically wake the mind up fully, not body.

In rest of the stages you do meditation, but in mother stage turquoise, meditation does you.

I guess we have only gone deep enough to just realize it? I have heard stories of yogis being able to materialize shit. So who knows.

contemplate What's the difference between me then and me now?

I don't know how well this will work for you, considering it's pretty 'stucky' for you. But you could try seeing the feeling that she gives you when you think about her, the feeling that you cant forgive, as yourself. and when you see that feeling as yourself, love yourself.

You can go from 'I can't do anything, I can only observe' to 'I can't even observe, there is no such thing as an experience/perception. Because there is no observer. There's only being.'