caspex

Seems more like stage Green to me

I would like to add some things to your contemplation on space. So basically, you're creating the feeling of space, but you're doing that at a level which is deeper than your mind(therefore it may seem beyond you, the ego). To see this, just feel into what spaciousness is. Space that your body occupies, space that you can move your hand in, etc. This spaciousness itself, this whole sensation of what space is, can be altered. It sometimes happens in meditation, for eg. Your head feels like it has enlarged literally to cosmic proportions, or that your mind has become microscopic. This is also what you do in dreams, you create an alternate space. When you enter the vibrational state just before astral projection or other practices, the space has again been altered. You can also gain control over this and actually warp and mold space. No material alterations, no warping in your visual field or anything. That all ain't space. I am talking about the sensation of space itself. So you can make so your head feels like it's where your feet is, make the sky feel like your head, make the feeling of space in a room you are in go through you and inside you, etc. But all that is only really possible when every dot of your sense of self has dissolved, which is again, another sensation of space. Another thing is that, doing all this warping and stuff comes in different degrees. At first it's very mild if you are able to do it at all, but over time and practice, it feels very very real. You can make your body feel like it is literal air, clouds etc. The point of all this warping and all is that if you are able to do these basic things then space is obviously seen as an Illusion. For me, Time is a much more tricky beast. At one hand, it's obvious that only the now exists, but on the other, you don't know how to integrate it with the existing notion and sensation of time. For space it's easy for me to bridge between the relative and absolute realizations, which is that the difference between those comes from the rigid attachments we do. We attach/stitch lots and lots of different sensations and 'perceptions' together, which makes space rigid feeling. But for time, I don't know the bridge the gap. Hope this made sense..

had this once actually kept trying to see it again after a few weeks at 3 am or so when i woke up to pee. Did it every night I remembered. Nowadays when I look at the mirror, I never get the sense of "me" anymore like I used to. It's just an impersonal animal, not even a human. If I focus more, it becomes impersonality in its essence, and if I go even deeper, it becomes me, but so does everything else. and to be honest the 'devil in the mirror' only pops up if you have some unresolved area in your mind which houses this very terror/feeling/entity in its essence. You gotta deal with that. We house lots of these entities in our minds lol. Best way is to self induce a sleep paralysis state, think of the entity untill it manifests, and face it head on with love.

People seem to think this is all just because you WANT to look for the numbers, while that is true in many cases, it's not with me. I didn't know at all that synchronicity was a thing and it just started happening to me. After that I unknowingly started looking for them and it got insanely frequent. Nowadays, I do not care at all about this, nor do I assign meaning to them. But they still happen(only with 1111). Sometimes it baffles me how they popup from unexpected places. Like a stock footage used in some YouTube video I am watching, some advertisement, etc. I think it is just a sign that some or many of your internal processes are aligned with each other or something.

@Alysssa Basically what @gettoefl said. To be spontaneous. Natural impulse becomes about the love of life. Gotta rewire the brain that hard.

As @LastThursday said, impulsiveness is pure authenticity. But I would also like to add is that those tendencies are not fixed. We can change what we do when we are purely authentic. I mean that happens naturally as you grow. If you truly understand violence let's say, instead of impulsively hitting someone because you can't make a point, you may want to impulsively hug them or any other gesture. Some impulsions are harder to change than others because they are way harder to understand, for eg. Sexual attraction. Pure authenticity isn't always a problem. It depends on what your impulsiveness makes you do, and if those actions fit with the kind of environment you are live in. For eg. If you live alone in the mountains, and your impulsive behaviors align with that kind of environment, then it's not a problem at all to be purely authentic. In normal settings with lots of people in our day to day life, it doesn't matter if we are purely authentic or not, there is always someone who has a problem with how we act. You can't fully align what you do impulsively with the kind of society we are in. You can only make your impulsions in such a way that they don't land you in jail or some list lol. I recommed aligning your impulsions in a way that they are geared towards truth and more importantly blissful love.

sd stage yellow is basically one's ability to connect dots in their head. That is trainable like all other muscles. So unless you have some sort of mental problem blocking you from improving that. Any average person can train it enough to eventually enter stage Yellow and be considered smart and intelligent. So it's not that you have to be intelligent to be at stage yellow, rather that you have to be at stage yellow to be intelligent. And by intelligent here I mean knowledge+wisdom.(mostly wisdom).

Here's what I wrote down in my journal a few months ago regarding this. Honestly, I didn't complete the contemplation. And I am procastinating to continue.

i wouldn't say there is any noticeable boundary, as is the case with most things. But I think if you were stage yellow, you wouldn't care about maintaining any intellectual objectivity or superiority, that's orange. That would be transcended(to some degree) at a good mastering of stage green imo. I say Yellow is similar to Intellectual Orange, only much much wiser. As you would expect, it's a mix of everything good about all the previous stages. Yellow is what intellectual orange aspires to. Imo just go look at the value system of yellow, compare it with orange. And see how they are different and what is more authentic to you at this moment (be honest with yourself).

emotional hurt is like a implosion that happened because your heart was like a limited bubble or a closed room. If your heart was infinity with no boundaries, there would be no possibility of implosion. Yeah you are infinite god etc. But your heart and Mind need to embody that and it takes time.

"Omae wa mou... SHINDEIRU" "mou shitte iru"

i dont know what it does to health. But I have done 10 mins(i have no idea how, and it was my first time) my fingers were bent and in crooked positions, couldnt move them or straighten them at all. My shoulders were also stuck in some position. Only after a minute, it slowly fixed. Honestly, nothing major awakening wise. I am too preoccupied with breathing to even get into questioning etc.

have had come to the same conclusion when drinking strong chai

Talk to more people, go for what you want. Don't be shy, be bold. Don't be afraid to come off as rude, obnoxious or annoying(doesn't mean that you have to be a douchebag though). Have what you want as your main focus when you deal with people. Develop lots of self confidence(so much that you don't even care if you look dumb to others or not). Speak your truth and be loud and clear, both in voice and in people's minds. Synonymous to balancing the throat chakra(in more westernized models of the chakra system). Also be assertive, dominant. Doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. My mother has integrated stage red really well and has all these qualities. (She's Stage Blue-Orange and into Blue Spirituality). She has none of the bas qualities of Stage Red because she isn't stage red. All the bad qualities are just limitations that are transcended at stage blue as one learns discipline. But really if you have stage Red mastered, you'll be able to effortlessly move between this assertive, dominant character to a submissive, introvert kind of character to other ones depending on the situation. You're not bound by red limitations like being afraid to look weak or soft after all(or are you?)

"Hm, ok I am at peace, yes... there's nothing to do... ok so what now? Oh right, there's nothing to do.... ahhhh... reality is oneness, I am an illusions, it all just is...................... so, what now? Oh shit yeah, there's nowhere to go ofcourse.... so what do i do? ah god damn it, again, there's nothing to do, I am satisfied rn in moment.... I have all I need right here... ahhh... that's great, so what next- OH ffs!"

ngl, you know what this sounds like? A Christian itching to get his friend into Christianity because he sees potential in him. You could say something like, "Nah spirituality is much much more nuanced and all". But really it's the same structure of thought process as Christian Missionaries at a very surface level. "My worldview is great, and it will ofcourse help him out, so let me introduce it to him." Why tf would you want to get him into spirituality? Thing is, don't even label all of this as 'spirituality' and that you are into some 'spirituality' and he is not. Just drop that whole idea. You see him suffer sometime, you help him out. Maybe your interactions with him slowly build up to some sort awakening for him one day. Great for him. This is all about maturing oneself. If you think it's your duty, or maybe not even that, but your choice, to mature him/help him out, and your choice is yes, then it's still forcing. Legit just let wanting to mature him go. That's giving him true free will. If he sees you enough and one day asks "What's all this stuff you are into like self-enquiry whatever" then THAT is his 'free will' at play. Giving him small suggestions and cues here and there is still textbook manipulation. Ofcourse don't reinforce his own view onto him and act like an echo chamber. It's really in those moments when he might get the opportunity to open up as you speak your part. You just being his friend is giving him this opportunity(if you're, you know, 'sufficiently awake'). I had a very similar friend. He called spirituality st8 up bullshit. But also a very open-minded person(within the orange paradigm but he also had many yellow views of the world. He just had a big green shadow that prevented him to go full yellow). As I got more into spirituality and had awakenings, it reflected in my behavior. If he wasn't compatible with that, we would have grown apart. But that didn't happen. He also had awakenings(on weed), asked me about these realizations and all. He opened up to stage green and has much of his psyche in yellow too. And guess what I did? Nothing. I didn't try to get him into some "spirituality", no nothing, I didn't even care if he had potential or not. I just challenged his views when his challenged mine, as happens in everyday relationships.

Same problem. But I try to make videos every week and also talk to friends online (in english) and sometimes help em out with complex topics(regarding spirituality), so this is my way of just dealing with this and getting better. After just 2 -3 months of this, my explaining has gotten way better, but only decent. I still need to pause, talk slow, and have the problem of repeating myself with different words. Sometimes going off track. But I don't get as much mental blocks anymore. So imo you should figure out some way where you NEED to use your speaking skills in your life regularly. If you really need to, it will better.

Thanks! Glad to know

(33 mins) Even though this is shameless self promo, I do feel this adds to forum. Therefore I am posting it here. Let me know if there's a problem.

@Breakingthewall ngl, I predicted that people will project this exact same thing on her. That's because I did the exact same thing after the first few videos I watched of her. But honestly, after closer inspection, there is no real way of knowing and that what I felt towards her was 100% just a projection. In fact, it doesn't even matter if our projections are correct, don't you think? All that matters is what comes out of that mouth.

What's your definition of yellow?

nice song

Don't give me the "That ain't gonna get you to liberation." I know. So, I want to see Auras and get into that general area. I am already trying to AP every night. Anyone here who is able to see auras and colors. Help me out please? All I have gotten from watching Teal Swan etc. youtubers is being able to see something colourless around the object/person/my body. That too only about a centimeter off the surface. No colors, nothing fancy. So if anyone can help me out with that.