caspex

I'd be turning into a female. Biggest disadvantage: Being Constrained. I am someone who loves letting lose on all aspects of life. But as a women, especially living in the capital of India, I'd have to be so much more on edge and paranoid outside. I'd have to care about my looks a lot more. I wouldn't know about other countries but here a woman is actually much more heavily judged on her looks than a man. Depending on how attractive you are, you'd be fit into various stereotypes. An example would be that if you are pretty attractive then you are automatically an ego-centric person. And if you prove yourself to be humble then there'd be a lot more jealousy than admiration. There's no win in that regard. If you are ugly then you are automatically an NPC. I as a female, would be constantly given advice, especially by older women on how to conduct myself, how to behave, and a lot of warnings to keep myself safe. This is especially true since I live alone. I'd probably not even be living alone if I was a female. I'd be seen as a female first and as a fellow human second. I'd be much more naturally anxious because you guys can guess. Most people you see outside are men so as a female it'd be pretty daunting to explore places on your own. In India, you really need a man to get things done more efficiently whether it is government work, house work, legal proceedings, negotiations etc. This is because a man is taken much more seriously. So if I want to do any of that efficiently I'd need to find a man to help me out. Also I'd be judged for having male friends, and very frequently suspected of having affairs with them, so I'd really have to behave in a way to show that it's not like that. Also I'd be judged for being not submissive. So yeah, that will constrain me so much that I'd probably not even enjoy living. And let's say I decide to not play by the rules for the week that I am a female, and just live like how I live right now everyday, I'd be seen as a disgrace. A girl gone astray. A girl who has 'gone outta hand'. In general I'd be controlled much more and I gotta admit, I am not a big of fan that. Biggest Advantage: A Support Network On most fronts whether emotionally, financially or socially, I'd have a really great support network. It'd be so supportive that I'd actually not be held liable and judged for not achieving much on my own in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'd be praised if I do, but I wouldn't be judged much if I don't. Not much would be expected from me than to marry and be a good member of the family. The social networking would be CRAZY. If let's say I am a housewife, INSTANT connection with other housewives in the area and so much to talk about and relate to. I'd be so much more open and expressive emotionally in all situations because being emotionally vulnerable wouldn't mean that I lose respect anymore. As a man if I admit weakness, sure I may be given comfort by my social circle, but then what? I am not seen the same as before. I am seen as weaker, given less respect, as more submissive. As a woman I wouldn't have that problem, or at least not nearly to that extent.

@Leo Gura What should one word towards after becoming egoless? The goal being to free up your conscious to reach the highest levels

I am gonna start making notes for all that I have studied for the coming examinations. As I stated in my previous post, running and studying are the only two things I should be focusing on. So I am gonna give most of my time to studying, now that it is freed from anime and other things.

30 Day Challenges I am not doing much action if I am not gonna be taking any drastic decisions to better my life. So I'll do these two challenges: No-Fap No Junk Food I have never managed past 14 days on No-Fap, hopefully I am able to do 30 days this time. What's different this time is I'll be intentionally cutting off all triggers. One of the major ones being Anime and Manga. I'll only watch Blue Lock because it only has men in it, is a sports anime and is a pure Orange show. The other triggers that I am able to cut off is YT shorts and YT in general. In fact, I am not gonna watch any Youtube videos for these 30 days except the ones I have saved in watch later. I have like 90 videos saved in watch later with most of them being multiple hours long. And if I run out of that I always have good old Actualized.org for all my video consumption needs. Now the problem with this approach is, with anime and much of YT gone, most of the things I do for fun have now been purged. So what do I do for good ol' introverted fun then? Well honestly I have no clue, I'll probably sleep or some shit. One of the reasons that I am doing this is to reduce the amount of diverse stimuli I get on a regular basis. I feel like that is really bad for staying stable in your goals, learning and emotions. I'll stick to having fun with friends outside when I am not studying or running. No Junk Food is an interesting challenge for me I have never quite tried. I wanna fix my diet anyways and if I manage 30 days off it I'll just stay off it indefinitely. I eat junk on a regular basis so that definitely keeps my energy levels low. I say it'll be a 30 challenge, but really I'll just start today which is 28 Feb, and end on 1 April. So it's a 32 days challenge but who cares about the specifics.

The Zeitgarnik Effect It postulates that people remember unfinished or interrupted tasks better than completed tasks. The best way to get your mind off the tension of remembering these tasks that you have to do later, is to just write them down. In hindsight, this seems extremely simple. But I never did this and now that I did, so much stress has been lifted off my mind because I do not need to remember these tasks I have to do. The pressure of remembering all this stuff really made me stressed and unable to relax, is also why I sought escape through youtube shorts. I feel so much better now by just writing all the stuff down. It surprised me how much stuff I was holding on to remember. No wonder I couldn't relax.

Keeping in theme with the last post, what is that goal for me that effects my very core? Broadly speaking, that is exploration. This is very broad, as it includes stuff such as traveling, exploring the occult, exploring the mind, interest in spirituality as it explores life and reality, exploring the body through various disciplines, etc. I am cherry picking with what I value in exploration though. But it doesn't matter since I know what I value in exploration when I look at it, so there is no need to list em all down. This is the same as 'understanding', although this has a certain different flavor to it. It's less intellectual or closed. Exploration and Understanding are both sides of the same coin. With my core value/goal in mind, I can actually quite swiftly sort through my goals. I am left with the following: Graduating College Exercise (Only running for now) Graduating college for me is an instrumental goal to my terminal goal of physical exploration without any financial problems. There are definitely other ways to reach this end, I just prefer the more traditional/familiar way for now. I have no reason to pursue any other goals except these two. Now, even though my core goal is exploration, I have a pretty deep need within me for egoic expansion, an expansion of my ego in the competitive sense. In a sense where I compare myself with others and then rise on top. Such as being more fit, having more IQ, more achievements, more skills, more reputation, more respect. Not because I want these things for the sake of them or because it gives me some thrill by being above others, but because it helps me fit in. See, this is not an orange desire/need at all, this is a blue need. Why? Because I see 'normal' as being accomplished and distinguished from the masses, and I know many such people, so to 'fit in' and 'be normal', I'd have to be above the average masses. I have this belief because of my Asian upbringing. The reason my self-esteem is low is because I am very average, but I see that as below average, because obviously I should be above average right? Right? So to properly enter Orange here. I'd need to redefine 'normal' and 'average', specifically that being average isn't a bad thing use affirmations to tell myself I indeed fit in and am normal and average THEN start competing for the thrill of being above others An example of how I'd do this:

Yeah making a conscious effort to not write down your insights in order to strengthen your memory and recall would work. It has it's own pros and cons. Whether you should commit to this kind of living really depends on what you're trying to do though. If you're trying to speak about your insights to people like a guru, answering their questions on the spot, then it makes more sense to not write it down and it'd be way better to just have a strong recall and memory for insights. But if you are someone who makes youtube videos every week about a variety of topics, or writes books about topic that you contemplate yourself, or interact with people in a non-live environment like this forum, or maybe writes a blog sharing insights, then it's makes so much more sense to have written down insights. Basically, the more dynamic and live your environment is the more it makes sense to just have better memory and recall instead of written down insights.

You can't really defend Leo here. I mean, yeah sure everything he said is true and yeah sure he is pointing towards the truth. And let's even say that the post involved no emotional charge like him being angry or anything as well. That still leaves the fact that you can't awaken someone through force. This should be super obvious. "Treating someone like an adult" makes no sense when that someone is a kid. @Leo Gura You yourself have said that there is no point shouting calculus at a first grader. People here are not even addressing the main issue. Everyone is dancing around the main topic. "But he is right!" "He didn't have any anger behind it!" "All I see is pure love!" "Guidelines don't apply to the owner" OR "He is toxic" "He is hypocritical" "He should be more polite" Or people just straight up talking about the whole forum itself. This is just more bullshit which, either Leo or more people in his support will point out. Instead of ofcourse, talking about the main issue. The main issue is does what Leo did works? It doesn't work for the vast majority, he shouldn't even be talking this forcefully until he is sure it'd work. Now you can specify all sort of nuances of what he really meant or how he was feeling at that moment or if what he said is true or what not. That doesn't matter. Yeah sure, "the vast majority" is more bullshit and just a concept when in fact only you are real. But the fact that you are posting on the forum at all means you are participating in the relative. You can't pick and choose which part of the relative you want to interact in, in this context. This is so obvious that I am shocked no one is mentioning this.

Contemplation: Good Decision VS Bad Decision + Choosing the right goals What's a good decision? It's something that takes you towards your goals. A bad decision is something that takes you away from it. To make a good decision, one requires depth of view of the consequences and possibilities. This requires experience. Since one isn't born with experience, it becomes very important one seeks the advice of those who do, to make good decisions. There is always risk involved. How would you know the one you seek advice from has the right advice for what your goals are? That itself requires experience. It's important one gathers experience in seeking advice. Failing from bad advice is a very good experience to see who to trust and not. One cannot seek advice for every decision one makes in the day to day life. Why does one knowingly make bad decisions that they know are not in line with their goals? That is because the person doesn't have their goal in mind at the moment but something else. If one is oriented towards their goal, there is no reason to make a bad decision, unless there is another conflicting goal battling for the attention of the psyche. This begs to question, should one kill all other goals in pursuit of one? I would say no. But one should kill all goals conflicting or very different from ones main goals. This means you have to make a decision of what goals to keep and which to discard. The goals you keep must all be similar. This is important because in today's world hardly anyone consciously chooses their goals. Usually your goals would be given by the people around you, the society around you and the media you consume. Consume a lot of chess media? One of your goal becomes to be a better chess player. Consume a lot of writing? One of your goal becomes to write a story. Consume a lot of self-actualization material? One of your goals becomes to become a self-actualization teacher/guru. Consume a lot of youtube videos? One of your goals becomes to become a youtuber. See, there are many things you enjoy and can indeed enjoy. There are thousands of things out there that you'll enjoy doing, you just haven't discovered yet. Does that mean you have to have a goal for each of them? No. As a stage orange, your goals need to be logical and rational. They should be chosen consciously. Enjoying doing a certain thing doesn't mean you need to become better at it. That's an egoic goal. Goals can be imposed upon you by others and by society as well. Such as graduating college. These goals are usually the ones that you wouldn't go for if it wasn't for others. All your goals need to be instrumental towards the success of your terminal goals. Now every human has only two ultimate terminal goals, to not die, and to expand. This manifests itself as avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. More physically, to avoid injury and seeking reproduction. So to set relatively terminal goals(only instrumental to your ultimate terminal goals), is the task at hand. So ask yourself this question for each of your goals, "How is this goal instrumental to my ultimate terminal goals of surviving and expansion?". You'll see that your goals one way or another, fulfill your ultimate terminal goals or needs for surviving and expansion. But some do it better than others. If you compared your old goals using that question as well, there is one interesting thing to notice. The old goals were let go of because they no longer helped with expansion or surviving. Why is that? That's because you changed. Your expansion changed you enough that you let go of your old you's survival. These goals are fleeting precisely because what they try to expand and preserve is a fleeting you. The more core to your being that the goal expands and preserves, the longer it'll last. Because the deepest parts of you take the longest to change. All of this leads to a very important realization. That a goal that should be your main goal, your life purpose, on which all other goals hang, should be: A goal that changes the very core of your being. Expansion of your very core. Not of your personality or anything else, but the least fleeting part of you. A goal that fulfills your need for surviving and expanding at the deepest level possible. This means you need to first figure out the very core of your being. The part that never changes. And then trying to find a goal that preserves and expands THAT core.

27

I can't really tell. At the time I thought it was me peering into some parallel universe that's slightly different. I have visited a nearby park in my astral travels once as well and it was fairly different as well. Maybe about 30 percent. After I looked at her I got a little excited that maybe I have finally done it, and I wanted to travel past my window but I couldn't control which direction I was going. So I thought of my body, and I automatically got pulled from where I was. I was getting pulled and then I laid down in the exact position of my body at which point I gained waking consciousness. It's similar to a lucid dream as in how real it feels. But it's not that same now that I think about it. You have a sense of location which is not present in a lucid dream.

I have had it happen to me gradually, only a few weeks ago I had two spontaneous back-to-back AP experiences. This was last year but I woke up in the morning, and being sleepy, I decided to go back to sleep, since I meditated a lot around that time regarding observing thoughts, when I laid down I naturally started observing. The monkey mind was playing a sound of banging on a door, but suddenly it gets 10x louder as if I could really hear it. I keep my composure and many other hallucinations start popping up. I open my eyes, and I see that ceiling in front of me has turned into a beautiful landscape. I am on top of a mountain, in front of me is a half tree half man sitting in a cross legged position, we are meditating together. Then it all morphs back to the ceiling. Some other stuff happens. I was scared a little so I started chanting "Om Namah Shivay", when I started I couldn't stop it. It kept playing and playing and got really loud but not unpleasant. I could feel as if their was a oily steel ball in my palms. I took some deep breaths and came back. This was the first time and over time I have gradually gotten more exposed as I had more experiences. Last week I was tired, I laid down in the middle of the day. Before I knew, some thoughts in my head get insanely loud, and I let the state take over me. This time however, I was ripped out of my body, the last time it happened, it was very violent because I didn't want it to happen. This time, I was calm, and I slipped out my body like slipping out of your shoe on accident. I couldn't control where I was going though. I was simply traveling across my room and saw my sister using the computer etc. Thing is, she was indeed using the computer in real life, but the things in the room, her clothes, were all different. Even the window had no curtains in my experiences but in real life there were. I had one more the next day. But yeah, it's like a normal lucid dream, but you don't really have control over reality or whatever. Also it felt very real. I wouldn't say it was 'more' real. Rather it was a different kind of real.

I have a younger sister as well aged similarly. All of this is very shocking but also very expected given how the world is going. From what I know India banned it because of tensions going on between China. They also banned dozens of other chinese apps, and they still do it time to time. Well it's good that they did. But the degeneracy is still there in the form of other apps that copy tiktok, and they are mostly used among the lower income group. Among other income groups however, instagram is the go-to. The degeneracy is CRAZY. I remember when I was starting high school how people started asking for instagram accounts of each other, I was pressured to make one but I never did because of some intuition that it's a waste of time. I had this understanding because I had already burned all my attention seeking karma much before when I was 11 - 13 on another app, and I was paranoid enough to never make my real identity public back then so that saved a ton of cringe down the line. I think going through this attention seeking phase is important and should not be suppressed. But it needs to be done in a way that doesn't cause you any damage. These kids are going through that phase and are dumb enough to do it in a way that causes damage. Kids seek tons of attention and if you let them have at it they'll do it in the most dangerous and dumbest ways possible. It's important they get natural levels of attention in natural ways or ways that don't cause much damage. You don't just hand them tiktok, an account and an internet connection. I agree with you here that this is really fucked. In my phase, when I needed attention, I HAD to do it online because I didn't know how to get it otherwise. So I think it's important the kid forms A LOT of connections, interacts a lot and is given very healthy amounts of attention from a diverse range of people from various ages. If this need is taken care of, I doubt the kid will be very interested in this degenerate behavior of seeking attention online. They'll still go for social media and might seek fame, but I doubt they'll be engaging in degeneracy.

Would like to share these upgrades? I am interested

Thing is, with such a question the answer only lies in the absolute domain. Relative domain, as we know, is false. You seek the truth of impermanence so the answer lies in the absolute domain. The reason things seem impermanent is because you see the world in objects and things. Dualities and distinctions. With this kind of worldview, impermanence makes no sense. It seems to be just a random principle of the universe, an axiom with no deeper meaning. "Is it just the way it is?" But if you let go of that worldview of forms and distinctions, it becomes clear that this impermanence was a side effect of creating distinctions. It's because your distinctions are finite and God, which you are trying to divide, is infinite. Ofcourse your distinctions can never last forever. You need to constantly dissolve and create new distinctions because they cannot hold up to the infinitude of God. It's INFINITE. It generates FOREVER! How are you gonna distinguish a finite amount of times and call it a day, ofcourse it would never work. So with this insight into impermanence, it's easy to see that since 'things' 'beings' 'people' are distinctions within God, ofcourse they can never last. You, the God You, created these distinctions. If you want an answer in the relative domain, then I don't believe there is an answer. Unless one generates some relative meaning.

You misunderstood my view. I am not trying to reduce your experience into simple imagination. In my view demons can be external, what I was saying is that if you're in a particular state then the demons can be attracted to you since you're easier prey.

This man has mastered roasting

Maybe you are attracting them? Last time I had such a thing happen to me was when I had entered the hypnogogic sate(You do this by falling asleep, consciously). This was one of my first few times so I naturally got a little scared. As soon as a sliver of fear made way into my mind, a demon started manifesting itself right in front of me. I was terrified and the fear multiplied, I forcefully awakened myself. I notice this only happens when I have fear lurking in mind. It's like such experiences are attracted to that kind of state. Even thinking of "What if I was afraid?" manifests more fear. In your situation, it's no doubt you have all of this going in your mind, and if you have opened your mind to a degree where you sleep is 'open'(that is, not limited to memories), it'd be no surprise why you keep getting attacked. I have heard a brief story. Once there was yogi meditating in the night under a tree. He was thirsty so he went to the nearby river to fill some water in his container. He reached the river, filled it with water and was about to leave. He turned back and in front of him was a terrible face, covered in blood, piercing eyes and fangs ready to attack. The sheer terror this face gave off was enough to make a grown man run. This was anyone's worst nightmare. Standing in the dark, in front of this being. The Yogi saw it, no emotion arose within him, he passed the entity and went back to meditate. The entity left. Obviously, this could be much more. I don't know if demons can attack you regardless of state. I am not that experienced in these affairs. I simply do not possess enough knowledge and experience in this field so take what I have said with a grain of salt.

No, it's a different thing. They added a chat to the Bing search engine for better searching. Here's the official blogpost about it: https://blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2023/02/07/reinventing-search-with-a-new-ai-powered-microsoft-bing-and-edge-your-copilot-for-the-web/

What would you say is the reason for you 'experiencing' real magic such as getting free stuff and restoring things in the world?

One body goes to sleep and you wake up in another? Are these both physical bodies?

Please explain more what you mean by two bodies/two eyes

Dude why is your phone that long ?