mandyjw

I remember going up to a boy I barely knew in highschool to ask to borrow his math book because I forgot mine. The look of terror in his eyes as I walked up to him was completely unexpected. I thought I was shy and insecure. We're too often thinking only of ourselves, which is exactly what insecurity is. @aurum Better to reframe to something more like the Star Wars kind of Force.

Imagine if schools put an emphasis on teaching communication and social skills. On the fundamentals of living a happy life, not a measurable "successful" life. But as society is concerned, that's not important, only numbers. So the same men who were told that good grades and measurable success was everything rate women by numbers and count how many they sleep with. Then we blame them for doing what they were taught to do.

Pick Up is a response to a specific human need in society that overall doesn't know how to relate to one another. Can you see the whole misunderstanding holistically or are you just interested in hacking you way through to make do and get yours? Eventually the whole problem will become unavoidable. It's like shoring up the unlevel third floor of house with more material and ignoring the fact that the problem is that the foundation is sand. No one is a bad person for doing pick up. But the reason it seems so necessary is the symptom of a larger, less personal problem.

The problem probably lies in differences in the definition and the measurement of "better with women."

Go straight to understanding the law of attraction and you'll understand sexual attraction and a whole lot more. The need to be understood and the need to understand is an interesting conundrum. Understand, Know, Know as in the Biblical sense. It all follows.

What does the anxiety feel like in your direct experience outside of thoughts about it? Is it still anxiety? Does it feel good to have the concept of an enlightened person who doesn't have anxiety? Does that feel absolutely inspiring and incredible? If yes, that's fine. But if it feels like you're a failure in comparison, then throw that idea out. Anxiety and self-judgement go hand in hand, so it's possible that your idea of enlightenment and feeling as if you're falling short is actually creating the anxiety. Or vice versa. How does anxiety feel compared to how excitement feels? What's the difference in attitude and perspective of the thoughts about excitement verses to the thoughts about anxiety? When you do something completely new and unknown isn't there a mix of both? Wouldn't it be natural to feel a little of both as you explore this new realm of yourself?

@machinegun Scratch your own itch, find what you are interested in, create what you would want to buy the most.

Feel into it. Also with a minor situation like that, try to see the humor in it and in your reaction. Then if you react and say something out of a place of annoyance/humor it expressed the feeling but also laughs it off at the same time.

Planting trees with fruit on them for yourself, and then telling yourself don't touch THIS one over HERE, is the essence of a trap I'd say. But only if you're playing a part in this play.

Super private. Even I don't know I'm spiritual.

Your idea of love isn't love, it's a thought. Don't mistake the thought of something and your judgments about it, (more thoughts) for the actual experience, which you know by how it feels. Love feels amazing.

Is the sky above Australia high or low? Perspective. What's the similarity between a high consciousness person and a low consciousness person, what do they share? Consciousness. Person is appearance of consciousness TO consciousness, hence, perspective.

A lot of women would really like to be judged on their personality and skills if they are going to be judged and evaluated at all.

That's attachment, not love. Love is the absence of suffering.

@Tim R

There's a huge difference in how they feel in your experience. nope.

There's a big difference between sheerly appreciating beauty, whether it be a person or a sunset, and wanting a partner who is attractive because ultimately that person believes that having an attractive partner will soothe the insecurity that exists in themselves.

But it seems like it's slightly easier to imagine that you're terrorizing the village peasants with a badass realistic dragon puppet than just a sock with some googly eyes glued on it. So does this also mean that if looks are important to you, you're lazy, spoiled and have an undeveloped imagination?

At the moment I don't but I watch music videos.

The highest understanding is that all of this, right now, is consciousness, so Consciousness itself is the only true Knowing out of which all knowledge stems. The very alignment with this Understanding itself is what we badly use the concept "level of consciousness" to attempt to communicate and define. Science itself butts up against this realization, is light a wave or a particle? It depends on the observer, as light itself points to the very consciousness in which the experiment is happening. Highly recommend Rupert Spira's book, "The Nature of Consciousness".

@RedLine You're welcome. Also learn to flip around thoughts of unwanted to wanted. I don't want to live with my mother, to where I do want to live. Envision the apartment and lifestyle you really want to have. Should your apartment be close to the park or the gym? Go for a walk when you feel good and look around for a place you might like to live. Dream about it. Pick thoughts that feel good. Drop the ones that don't or turn them around and use them to discover and define what you do want. Don't doubt your desires, or just be aware when you do this, and just let them be pure desires. Pick small ones (example, I'd love to have my own refrigerator) until you can work up to bigger ones.

Try become more aware of the thoughts you are thinking when you feel bad. I made this wheel to visually show various ways that we suffer and how you can just spin around and experience emotions of all kinds and varieties as thought tries to solve the problem of thought with thought. It mistakes its thoughts about a circumstance (not having a job makes me such and such) for the circumstance itself (complete current freedom of opportunity and choice perhaps?). It believes in the validity of the circumstance and it believes that the circumstances center around it, and so it avoids all the positive emotions it actually seeks which are, already, the true center. In the center there is no illusion of separation between me and a thought of myself. The only true movement is to move closer to the center, rather than spinning around or flipping back and forth between opposite emotions. It requires letting go of thought or seeing through the validity of a thought about yourself (or someone else, which is always comparison or mistaking a thought about yourself for someone else) that feels bad. So meditation is great to raise your vibration and move to greater awareness in the center, but you also have to start really questioning thought when it's active to see the movement of it.

You are really on to something here. Your positive motivations are already there or it would not be motivation. You just aren't focusing on them. Spin the focus around. You want to feel better. You can go straight to feeling better and pay attention to how you feel rather than focusing on the end or future result, or meeting your own self imposed criteria for worthiness. Then because "God" is not like our mothers who gave us what we wanted when we cried hard enough for it, you get what you want because "God" gives things that feel good to people who really want them but also at the same time feel good anyway. You want to stop feeling bad. This is the magic of self love and meditation. When you stop feeling bad and then it diminishes the resistance to our outer circumstances reflecting our desires. Because we are open, opportunities are realized. Realize- Means both to understand, become aware of and to actualize. It's a magic word.

There's no conflict in self love. Self love is eating healthy most of the time and having a treat sometimes. Self love is making time for exercise because you truly love it. Pay attention to how you feel and Awareness and Self Love become seamless. Pleasure is an important part of life. Pick the one TV show you really want to see and make time for it. Make time for a desert or a treat. Consciously make time for pleasures that you've carefully selected. Then you won't fall into unconscious self loathing indulgence and you dissipate the resistance to the real "work" you want to be doing. There is no such thing as resistance when we drop the thoughts judging ourselves. Are there two of you? One that can know and judge the other to its standard? Or is there just pure Awareness/Self Love? There aren't two of you.

@Delis Yes, I find that to be very true also.