mandyjw

I believe that morality is immoral.

@Recursoinominado Why would you want to control your mind? What do you seek to gain, what's the end game or the imagined reward for doing so?

That's like saying a coffee filter is trying to stop the liquid from flowing through. The parts of a mechanism itself don't have an intention. If you just look at the coffee filter itself in isolation, without a big picture understanding of how coffee is made, you might come away with that conclusion. You could say that you don't explore or push the boundaries far enough because you think you know how things already are. You're satisfied with being unsatisfied. As you become more sensitive to dissatisfaction and/or as you see the glow of someone who HAS explored the boundaries, you start to question what you think you know.

Probably not, but people can learn how to purify their ambition by allowing it, if you don't allow ambition you risk that you also don't allow your desire or purpose. I don't think anyone gets it quite right at the beginning. The way I was raised the word ambition had neutral connotations, it could be positive or negative depending on how it's used. That's another great point, I think around adolescence it really starts becoming evident that something is wrong. There needs to be some middle ground for kids between going totally rogue and sticking with a structure that isn't built to serve you. They need guidance that steers them to responsibly cultivating their passions and interests but not the rigid structure that we currently have. Also being told that after finishing highschool I needed to take another 4 years of learning what other people thought I should know and go into $80,000+ worth of debt to be credit or of value, did not sit right. It does not foster the confidence kids need to be innovative. I don't really support the Bernie Sander's ideal of "let's pay off everyone's student debt!" because to me it's like putting a Disney Princess bandaid on a festering wound.

@tsuki I don't think that the movement of pride/need to prove oneself out of feeling inadequate is inherent in ambition but the word certainly has those connotations. There's a pure kind of desire, dream or what you could call ambition that feels amazing and is universally beneficial. @LfcCharlie4 I believe that we should radically change school systems to foster kids interests and teach kids happiness and wellbeing. At first this would mean exposing kids to a wide variety of things. There should be more of a community effort with government systems possibly reimbursing people for doing apprenticeships with kids. Kids choose the subjects they study, the school accommodates. Basic math and readings skills are taught but it drops off to purely being by choice after a certain basic level is mastered.

Thought that was Jesus. Maybe we're talking about the same one. Ba dum tss

There was never a "one" in exclusion of anything else. With the creation of "one", all other numbers are created as one is the common unit or denominator of all other numbers. I can totally picture Rumi on a unicycle.

If I'm not sure about my decision or completely aligned with my desire to have or to NOT have kids, I'll demonize others who decide differently to try to feel OK about my own decision. I might even try to control what other people want because I think that I can control what I want too. Doesn't work, but people try. It helps to realize that everyone is just trying to feel better, everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they really are. We all want the same thing ultimately.

It does not suck! What do you guys think you are doing in meditation? Connecting with your body and experiencing that it's not your own. What do you think pregnancy does for women? You take something profound and say it "sucks". Just like your very own life. Fear of pregnancy and sort of dismissing the whole thing as survival dismisses your very Self. Dismiss the self, not the Self. Tricky non-distinction, I get it. Sigh.

I recently heard that women seek security and men seek freedom (as a generalization of course). It makes a lot of sense and explains a lot of the conflicts men and women have in their misunderstandings of what these things are and how to get them. True security, Freedom and Love are all, already "properties" of Awareness itself. So we seek ourselves beyond limitations, not knowing we already intimately are that. As we align with that we are able to embody unique traits and gifts inherent in gender and individuality in a creative way and not in a survival way.

That's a misunderstanding of the nature of desire and self. If she shares this misunderstanding, like you suggest, she'll suffer and the suffering will be the indication to drop the misunderstanding and line up with her desire in a less selfish way. Most people don't know the real or entire reason of why they want the things they want at the time they get them. They lead to somewhere beyond you. It's very obvious to see this in the instance of having a child, but it works that way for every big or small desire too.

Sure, why not? Couldn't have picked better ones, would totally do it again. Choice and not-choice is duality, when you tap into what your true desires are and make your choices based on that you actually drop resistance. In the lack of resistance, there is no choice but pure resonance and knowing. Like for example, if I give you the choice between a new iPhone and a broken flip phone, you'd say there's "no choice", right? See how this conflict just beautifully resolves and dissolves when you know what you want?

Or we could say that the magic is that there are no real separate parts, and you never actually reject or separate yourself at all.

In the waking state you seem to have subject, object consciousness. In the dream state, you also have subject object consciousness (perceiver and things perceived) but it's looser than the waking state. In deep sleep there is complete merging, or awareness with no object which is always your true state. You are always only aware of yourself. There's no time or memory in deep sleep because time and memory are based on a subject/object relationship or thoughts about it. Check out Rupert Spira's book, "The Nature of Consciousness" or his videos if you're short on time, he is an excellent resource on questions about sleep states.

Maybe you're his muse right now. Maybe if you really drop the concern about what he is not doing and do what you're inspired to do, the inspiration will get to him too.

Told my husband before we were married that I wanted a blue-eyed boy and brown-eyed girl. That's exactly what I got. You guys realize that the only reason you're here is because of some woman's "silly" desire? Creation is born out of desire, and it's no one's desire in particular. Any kind of creation, pregnancy and birth is all just about allowing creative power to flow.

Mind pushes the limits of where it can go and burns up. Like a moth to the flame. It is burned up in what illuminates it anyway.

@modmyth I was lucky, my mom shared very little about it, only if I asked. Got a crazy story or two from my mother-in-law but she is funny and sort of told it like battle stories. Just for anyone who is scared and also really wants kids someday, DON'T BE. There are SO many options right now. I had an intrathecal shot with both kids and actually giving birth was a total piece of cake. In my opinion epidurals are needlessly demonized. There's also hypnobirthing, and if you're experienced with meditation you can see right through the pain. Your mind naturally focuses and goes inward during labor. There are also pressure points on the low back you can have a partner press on to take the pain away from contractions that work really well, you'll want to train with a partner or have a doula though. Lots of options out there.

Physical pain is a very unique experience for each woman and pregnancy, before, during and after. Parts of it are really rough, other parts are absolutely amazing. But I was referring to life never being the same. That's a thing. We do a horrendous job of psychologically preparing women for birth and motherhood in our culture and it's a common way of airing and passing on trauma.

I used to think that too.

There are no distractions from enlightenment outside of your own thoughts about them. A lot of traditions make people assume that they require intense periods of solitude. This is a common desire that comes up on the path, but is not a requirement. It's way more fluid and mysterious than that. If you want relationships and avoid them to get enlightenment first, it won't work because enlightenment is not a thing you can obtain that is separate from your desires in life. A lot of momentum happened when I became a mother, I found that my identity completely had to change and I started suffering more intensely in new ways. This lead to asking a lot of questions, and reaching for answers and feeling better. Everyone ends up in completely unchartered waters as some point. Enlightenment is way more wild and wonderful than anything you can think about it.

@Preety_IndiaCan you get this book where you are? Honestly I haven't read this exact one, but the marriage version, but this author is really amazing. I had huge breakthroughs in all areas of my life after reading her book. https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting-Marrying/dp/0743217896/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=laura+doyle&qid=1611662103&sr=8-7

Female is the negative space of male, like male is the negative space of female. In order to create and combine you must first separate. Then you can combine in infinite ways. Think about how separate colors are possible. Red objects absorb all other colors but reflect or reject red light and so they appear red. White light or every single color is inherent in the select color red. Lights off, no red. Pure light, no red. Same with male and female. You can think of this by anatomical differences or psychological differences. One cannot exist without the other. To go further with that, each and every unique manifestation of all the billions of people and everything else on the planet is the same way. It's leaving something out to say that red isn't really a separate color because the experience of the color red depends on white light itself or the entire color spectrum. It's also leaving something out to say that red IS a distinct color. Nonduality and duality are one. We cannot say non -something without the thought of that something. So understanding all that, the female identity partly forms itself in opposite or in compliment to the male psyche. Essentially this means that we experience suffering differently. Like the color red, we reject certain parts of ourselves and therefore identify. Identification is saying this part of what I think I experience is me, and this other part is not me. Pure awareness does not distinguish between the sound of my voice or someone else's voice, it is thought that distinguishes. Making these distinctions for the purpose of creation is beautiful, but making these distinctions to cut oneself off from creation is suffering. Each individual person has formed uniquely different ways in which they suffer, identify and unique beliefs which hold these thought patterns in place. So what does this mean when it comes to enlightenment? Enlightenment is the transcendence of suffering. So the same goal can mean letting go of very different beliefs. You can have people who are assertive and arrogant, who cut themselves off from feeling how they affect others and who (apparently) suffer from pride and disconnection. Or you can have people who are shy and feel inadequate, who feel rejection and tap into empathic suffering with others so strongly that they hide from the world. Red and green are opposites on the color wheel and yet, have a lot in common. The movement of suffering is the very same. The insecure person inwardly struggles with pride and the prideful person inwardly struggles with inadequacy. They may reflect different colors to the world but they experience the same suffering. That's why two people's paths can look like absolute opposites of each other, but really aren't at all.

@soos_mite_ah Have you seen this? Dr. Christiane Northrup is awesome for a more wholistic, spiritual approach to women's health. It won't directly answer your question but might give you some new things to consider. The initial description of what it is is a little dramatic and lengthy in my opinion but the suggestions are at the end.

@soos_mite_ah How do you intuitively feel about it, what's your gut feeling?