mandyjw

I'm sorry to come here to complain but I'm just starting to realize how unconsciously sexist most people are. I think that my rural upbringing and tolerance to it was why I could tolerate Leo's videos 4 years ago in the first place. Some of us deal with it by hiding our feminine sides and becoming rigid and intellectual. Some of us go the opposite direction and deal with it by flaunting looks and sexuality. How much awareness does it take to stay, just as the perfect being that the Goddess made us to be? I just wanted to have this conversation before you leave, if you're inclined. It's a deep unhealed wound in my heart.

Oh duh, I'm a subscriber. Thanks for reminding me!

I've just been going with the flow. In the past year my six year old son started asking questions about magic, if it's real or not, about dragons, and lots of questions about God and what God can or can't do. He's a bit behind developmentally because he has mild autism. I try to explain infinity and nonduality as best as I can. The other tricky thing is that I know that most of his friends and teachers are going to have a very dualistic idea of God. So far we haven't had any funny situations come up. The most important thing to me is to teach them to love other people and be kind, and I let them be who they are within reason. Raising them when they are babies and toddlers is extremely difficult because it's so intuitive and what's required from you isn't great theory like Leo's video which is for parenting older kids. What's required is your presence. Just being ok during the tantrums and not losing your cool too can be incredibly difficult and exhausting. We have kids because we think we will be great parents, but in reality you feel like you're winging it and just getting by, and we all will mess up our kids somehow no matter how enlightened you are. It's a humbling and beautiful experience.

I would love it if there was another mom with kids who has gone deep with nonduality. Balancing both has been and is quite a feat. I'm wondering if I should check our Teal Swan's forum, are there more women there? One reason why I don't talk about the more feminine aspects of my life and spiritual practices here is just because I don't think most people will appreciate it... just because most people here are male. I really appreciate the male perspective, and I have a hard time committing to difficult practices so that's partly why I'm here I guess. I try to give my perspective when it seems appropriate but I also feel strange and uncomfortable about talking about feminine subjects on a forum of mostly men.

@Truth Addict You're something else.

I@Soul-lover 2020 I used to be you. Maybe I still am. The peace that passeth understanding is not a concept but an experience. Lean not on your own understanding. You are leaning on it heavily, eventually one day it will give out from beneath you.

@Soul-lover 2020 Recognied by who exactly? Do you submit to another authority in addition to God? Gnostic teachings are the ones that haven't been bastardized. Even so there is a lot on nonduality in the new testament. I'm surprised the gospel of John even made it in.

@Soul-lover 2020 How did Jesus possibly love and die for everyone then? Do you love the imperfect, the hideous? Gender doesn't matter, Jesus said that multiple times and Christians ignored it.

I can be Her though, you forgot about her didn't you? It all dissolves into same beautiful nothingness no matter what you gaze at.

Same time as New York, EST. The sun rises here first in the whole country so most us get up really goddamn early, we should have an earlier time zone. Easternmost point in the US is called "West Quoddy Head" What the fuck? We saw whales there last summer and I went in the ocean there, some of the coldest and scariest ocean waters off the US too I think. https://downeast.com/lubec-maine/

It's 7AM, but I do need to go. This is at the entrance to the remains of his home. When it has rained it's really obvious, it's more of a spiral.

@now is forever "The house that is not there" the theme from my story I told Tsuki during my awakening, I went to an amphibian walk event for my kids and it was right there so I asked, what's the history of the house? It was owned by the Mad Russians they said.

I USED TO BE SUCH A NORMAL PERSON! Ok I was a crazy kid, but I was such a normal adult! You don't even know. Is there a name for an androgynous God? There are lots but which one to use?

@now is forever I need to show you this. Goddess, this is embarrassing. He looks exactly like Leo, with hair, and 70 years old, but really study the facial features and also how drastically Leo's appearance has changed from the start of his videos.

Ohhhhhh... I created this because I'm so afraid of the specifics. Vagueness is a limitation I feel unable to move beyond and still have connection. If I trust myself enough to be specific, but what if I'm wrong and this whole beautiful things crumbles down? I have to be even MORE vague and hidden in person. I told my friend, the one who isn't that smart exactly what happened to me in a joking voice, she just laughed and never questioned it as more than a joke! Why did I do that? Online nondual relationships are disconnected for physical reasons, real life relationships are disconnected for spiritual understanding reasons. It shouldn't matter, Eckhart Tolle said, everyone is God, but you know what? I reeeally enjoy being around people who know who they are. A need to be understood. Am I needy? Or is it my.God's deepest desire?

@now is forever Found it.

We needed connection from others, but they always disappointed. We turned to spirituality for that connection. Then it taught us that we had to be connected with it AND people. People are people, electric jungle people or real flesh people. What was your quote about exiting the electric jungle? I remember it struck me but I can't remember it.

@now is forever I'm falling madly, deeply in love with you... why now??? Your words pictures, your analogies, I never understood poetry before now but I understand you, not all the time, but when I do it's just stunningly beautiful. I feel dirty and heartbroken, I need to go take a shower. This is the kind of observation and connection that just floors me. @now is forever My nostalgia is part of my day to day life now. Never expected that from all my hours upon hours transmuting consciousness from Eckhart Tolle.

@now is forever Ok, good advice. I miss coffee. Thomas told me to give it up, it's the first thing he told me. Or Eva. One of them.

@tsuki I CLEANED UP MY ACT FOR JESUS! Now here I am waking up at the witching hour again having discussions I shouldn't be having!!!

SEEEEEE??? You're way too easily entertained. I don't want to be a spectacle. It's deeply personal.

@tsuki I told you, I ALREADY know all about it. @now is forever Have you ever considered I'm more uncomfortable about this than you? I am you.

@now is forever That's not true. It's going to be real. Unless you don't want it to be real that is. You have free choice, or so you think.

@Shin Hamsters naturally eat their babies if they don't have a good environment to raise them in and don't feel safe. They probably want to prevent them from suffering or taking resources from the parents and causing their own death as well. You think the human instinct is any different? Think of all the pro-choice/ pro-life debates.

@tsuki if only you knew how evolved I actually am that way. I am not having a mundane yet explicit discussion in public for people to jerk off to, sorry. That is exactly the last thing that will help women feel welcome and equal here.