mandyjw

I'm not around people very much. I used to have a lot of resistance about being around people at all. Today I was at a craft fair and I felt so much love and appreciation for people around me, in my interactions with them, in just my observations and people watching. I've attended these in the past with a very different mindset. I thought about how around my awakening my ability to accept gifts became a big theme. I had an insight at the fair where the nature of love, of everything being love is just that. This scenario I found so many things to pick apart as I sat there all day in years past, was seen as a huge expression of love, that I was partaking in whether Mandy was seemingly part of the interaction of just watching different manifestations of it. It's all love. It is true, it is simple, it is wonderful, but oh, what a gift to accept.

Try not to think so much about the separation between those states. Would the world be as beautiful without the sad and melancholy flavor to it sometimes? Wouldn't you get sick of it quite quickly if you lived in a cartoon like world of wonder, rainbows and unicorns? You chose it all when you came to experience life. Intend to feel joy more. Look for it, even a tiny bit of it wherever you are. You can feel joy, and be in the flow and be very productive, and that IS a state of high consciousness. We do not want to split our energy, that's what feels bad, thinking we should be doing one thing over the other. There is no state that's better than the other, we want to be one with what we are doing or feeling. Paradoxically the way to the state that we want to be in is by accepting and loving the state we are in along and at the same time, accepting and allowing the desire to change it.

MAD idea?! Santa is a lovely idea! He brings joy to the hearts of children for Christ's sakes! I was raised thinking Santa was a stupid story made up by nonbelievers and Jesus was the TRUTH. Then I figured out that Jesus is also Santa. Now they both bring magic to my heart.

Love is beyond and also including survival, and morality exists only because of survival. You can evolve so far on the scale of morality that you will no longer survive, literally. Love transcends and can make one aware that they do not have a separate self without killing the body. I believe the goal of the evolution of consciousness is to kill the separate self, not to kill creation physically. But who can say? A plant doesn't care if it lives or dies from one perspective, from another it cares greatly. The perspective is an illusion just like our own, and that oneness ultimately dissolves morality completely. At whatever point morality stops working or makes one suffer, they will desire to move beyond it. It think we all have different tolerances for it.

Enlightenment is where the concern with taking spirituality too seriously or not serious enough goes to die. Love just is. It is not something we have to take seriously or avoid taking too seriously. You do not have to leave one teaching for another, right now I have so many teachers I'm utterly in love with, it's lucky for me that I don't have more time in the day for it all. Because as you said, real life is where the work is really done. I highly suggest Abraham Hicks, she sounds like what you're describing in what you want. Don't pick just one teacher, if you do don't stick with them too long. Every teacher is presenting you with one side of the story, and you are the thing that resolves and combines all the paradoxes in peace and love. Good luck.

@Raptorsin7 Lots of insights over time, one pinnacle event that exists in memory which I would call awakening.

It blew up all my ideas about who I was. It was like being born again. I saw the perfection of the design of my life and realized that the intense passion and love I've felt off and on all my life is not evil but it is IT. It's more of a feeling than an idea. But I also had to learn not to get too attached to a feeling, but rather pay attention to how I'm feeling and from there I can steer towards the direction of what I truly am. So yeah, it can be said that it's nothing, I am nothing, but also HOLY FUCK it's the most beautiful, wondrous thing you ever saw/felt.

@Raptorsin7 Felt like one big kerbang. I am that, I just want to align with it more of the time, get out of my own way so to speak, so I can be in the position to better help "others" see it and live it too.

@Raptorsin7 I was just going to keep it separate from the rest of my thoughts and do the practice described but it turned out to worsen overthinking for me at times. The intention is great, I just have my own way of contemplating things after the fact and sometimes moving on quite fast after recognition of an old thought pattern is the best thing for me right now. Other times it's good to really stop and interrogate it.

I am a real life Disney princess, mother fuckers! And so are you, I don't care who you are. Is this journal living up to its original intention? Probably not. Am I ok with that, right now? Yes.

Yes, BUT you are uniquely special in your own way.

Rupert Spira says all spiritual teachings make concessions, so popcorn for everyone!

You ARE special!

That "life flashing before your eyes" occurrence people talk about is real and can happen when or just before you experience ego death. You will see in that moment from the ultimate perspective of God, and you will love yourself deeper and purer than even a mother loves her child, unconditionally. Anything less than this is not "death".

If you were in a new romantic relationship, and your girlfriend or whatever started leaving presents around for you ALL the time, would you tell your jealous single friends who have given up on love and expect them to be happy for you? Once you awaken to oneness it really hurts to try to add "other people" back into that equation. Also I've experienced this and also reacted the same way, we all lose focus sometimes but it feels so good to focus again. You certainly can return.

Your nature is to love suffering, why else would you watch a movie or read a story about characters who face challenge? You just don't want to be the one who suffers. Does that mean you want a flat, boring, unfeeling life then? Probably not. You probably want to have an amazing, incredible life. You want to experience the highest highs and experience the lows knowing that they are inseparable from your experience, that you chose them, that they are the very thing that make the highs so sweet, the very thing that guides your experience TO the things you want to experience. It's your life, it's your journey, and you are the hero. Own it.

@Raptorsin7 You will grow to appreciate when you are disconnected, because you are the entirety of the experience and re-connection feels so damn good. You know the way food tastes SO good after you've been hungry all day, or coming in where it's warm after you've been freezing outside in the cold? Those highs and lows, that's the color, the flavor, the variety, the BEAUTY of our experience that we came here for. You will love it all. Yes, and the way you distinguish is by noticing how you feel. Everything we want ends up being a facade, a mirage, a representation of the real thing. But that deceptive facade is creation, evolution and beauty itself, gone full circle again, inseparable.

@Serotoninluv @Raptorsin7 Whenever you feel good, or you are in the flow, are creative, or you feel oneness, peace, stillness, are asleep, are inspired etc, you are connected with source. In fact you are always connected with source, because that is what you are but you can also think things that cloud your connection and make you "forget" because you are so identified with thought in that moment. Thought itself is not evil. Good feeling thoughts are not bad, they are from source. Insight, appreciation, expressions of love, all these thoughts are beautiful manifestations of creation. We do not wish to be free of thought, we wish to be free thoughts that make us feel bad. Once you pay attention to how you feel you know how well connected you are with source and the more you pay attention the more you will notice thoughts that are off or feel bad. The trick or practice that helps us gain this sensitivity is to learn to slow thoughts down. That's what mediation does. It does not stop them. If cars are zooming by really fast you can't make them out very well, but if they go by sloooowly you can carefully examine them, and if you do that then maybe you can even ask the driver of that goddamn rusted dodge neon without a muffler to stop driving by so much, because you have by now realized that you own the road and are in charge of it. Meditation makes you better and better at noticing which thoughts feel good and which don't, and it's also an invitation and space for entirely new thoughts (insights and ideas) to come in.

You are loved, you are loved. Self love is also self love. It seems too good to be true but it is. If you love yourself, you will never truly want anything that is wrong or bad for the whole as you are inseparable. This fear that that could is unfounded, it is based in the belief of self and other.

You cannot want something for others because there are no others, you cannot want something for your self because there is no self. You are always acting out of pure Selfishness or selfishness. Sometimes selfishness feels like jealousy, comparison and threat because you've fragmented yourself between self and others, which cannot be true if we are One. Other times it feels like love, freedom, and wholeness (One) and when you feel great you know you're acting out of Selfishness. Ultimately, anything you want is only because of the underlying desire of feeling good. It's not ever the thing itself you want, you want to feel good. Feeling good is also connection with Love, with the One. See how that came full circle?

Personal, meaning the self or the Self? What's the difference between self and Self in your experience? What is the will of Self?

Are the dots not actually moving but disappearing and reappearing so that it creates the illusion of movement?

So, I was randomly reading about this castle. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/europe/germany/neuschwanstein-castle-fairy-tale-king-ludwig/ The king who built it was hated and eventually, it seems, murdered for being so extravagant in his lavish spending and plans for it. The castle has since paid for itself many times over in tourism revenue and has awed and inspired millions. Was the king's wish to build it truly egoic? Maybe our greatest inspiration is also our greatest gift to the world? Do you chose what inspires you?

In Hoc Signo Vinces

Birds of a feather flock together. I'm not sure how a conscious community could have rules that excluded others though. If a community arose on its own because people gravitated there, that would be another thing.