mandyjw

mean me an. Oh please don't get me going again. The world doesn't need another opossum lady. "Opossum, apostle, opossum, apostle!!!" No, but I keep going flippity flop between the two. OPOSSUM, APOSTLE! Elephant needs a chain. "Do not give all your attention away to the mind and the external world. There is another dimension where perfect enjoyment and peace can be accessed now. A place where nothing can affect you in a negative way—where you are safe. This is the dimension of your inner body. By focusing your attention on the energy field within, your awareness literally shifts toward the inner world. As you read this, simply keep some of your attention on the inner body—the heart, stomach, hands and feet. As you do this, feel the energy start to increase just as you become more aware of the present moment. Perhaps there are people around you and things happening. There also may be thoughts about what you want to get done today, concerns about this or that—but now you also feel an element of inner peace in spite of the external realities. You no longer feel pulled in multiple directions, no longer rushed, no longer clinging to external goals or results." -(Eckhart Tolle)

One dream, one soul, one prize, one goal One golden glance of what should be (It's a kind of magic) One shaft of light that shows the way No mortal man can win this day The bell that rings inside your mind It's a challenging the doors of time (It's a kind of magic) The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity It's a kind of magic (It's a kind of magic) There can be only one This rage that lasts a thousand years Will soon be gone This flame that burns inside of me I'm hearing secret harmonies The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time (It's a kind of magic) (It's a kind of magic) This rage that lasts a thousand years Will soon be, will soon be Will soon be gone Wooo...

@SilentTears If I create all meaning, what does this mean? How is that I'm able to ask such ridiculous questions? It means there are no actual external standards for truth and false. Is light a wave or a particle? Is the dress gold/white or black/blue? NEITHER. Shouldn't it be obvious? We create our own meaning. Unconsciously. We can't not create, but we can learn to create consciously. What do you want to create? Who wants it? It's like anything could happen. https://www.illusionsindex.org/i/schroeder-stairs https://www.sciencealert.com/here-s-why-you-can-t-see-all-12-black-dots-in-this-crazy-optical-illusion "First discovered in the 1990s, the Scintillating Grid Illusion takes advantage of a neural process called lateral inhibition, which describes how an excited neuron in the brain tends to reduce the activity of its neighbours." Isn't that just like us? One of us gets overly excited about something and everyone else is like, "CALM THE FUCK DOWN." Great post here. https://www.sapienism.com/post/__icu The video is from the end of the post. I had a feeling/image like I was on a train this morning in meditation.

@Nahm

I just asked my husband if my insane word linking made sense, he said no. I was already feeling very lacking in self love and suggested that maybe he just can't see the connections, something like that. Care killed the cat? Fail. Looked up apophenia and went down that judgement self-diagnosis rabbit hole for a while. CraAAAZY. My husband left to get supper and said there was a synchronicity there, the song I was talking about "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd was playing there. We were talking about it a few days ago, he said he had a song from Final Fantasy named Blinded by Light. In my last youtube video I had an impulse to wear an orange glass pyramid necklace. Strange because I already dressed in green, and ended up changing. I had an impulse to wear it again today. The sy synchronicity reminded me of Truth Addict in Syria and I messaged him to ask him how he is. He replied and complemented me on my videos, and said I looked like a real witch with the necklace and orange in the latest one. Right before I had my daughter, a glass artist I had really admired randomly listed that orange pyramid for sale after going years without listing a single thing. The artist's name, and the piece is signed, Randall Burnett. It was right after my realization that "I am light" when I sat to meditate. The thing just glows with light. At the time pyramids meant nothing to me. I felt such a connection to it, I bought it. I never wore it at all until last year. Later thought that I shouldn't have because I was trying to be good with money but didn't have good judgement because I was about to pop. (Strange changes in the brain occur right before you give birth, hormones, etc.) In FACT, here's the embarrassing moment that happened before I had my son. I was driving home from a doctor's appointment and had been driving for an hour and half and was very tired, I was right about to pop. It was night and I had a new car and wasn't yet familiar with the dash lights. I came up behind a car and forgot to turn my high beams off. I drove behind him a while until he pulled over. I went by and noticed what I'd done, that I had blinded him with my lights and felt awful. He got directly behind me, and turned his high beams on and rode there to do the same to me. I was scared and I also felt awful, and hurt. He had no idea I was tired, pregnant and in an unfamiliar car. Even 9 months pregnant, I had a lot of pride at the time, so I drove extremely fast until he gave it up. pyre, fire, pyramid, py ra mid, peeramid peer amid The eye on the pyramid on our money? Hello? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_Providence peer, peer double meaning, "look keenly or with difficulty at someone or something." OR "a person of the same age, status, or ability as another specified person." SEE? We are all reflected in one another. I want to cry. Look at the picture on the song, Indra's net, the lights reflected in his sun glasses. Sitting here staring and my husband asks, "did you call my name?" No. I did not. "Call out my name..." I guess the weekend is over.

"The lowercase letter psi (ψ) indicates the wave function in quantum mechanics and electric flux in electrical engineering." I don't know if I have an extreme case of monkey mind or if it's burning up. Or both.

Ramana, Ram, Ra, God of the sun, ray, radio, reiki = ray-key Bahahahaha, or should I say Rahahahaha?

Indra's net

Silence, sing, symphony, psycheldeic, psilocybin Meditation, medium, medical, medicine. "The Latin root word medi means “middle.” Went to get groceries checked out and my cashier's name was Hannah (quintessential palindrome name) and the girl behind me was buying a stuffed animal horse from the show, named Spirit. On the way back I exclaimed to my daughter how BEAUTIFUL the ice was and immediately a car with the vanity plate Beau drove by. Be you tiful. Then I made the connection between bearing and baring. And I saw in a glistening field of ice on the way home, a horse. As the day has progressed I have become more and more aware that this virus I have is really affecting my head. It's like I'm in limbo, in the connected state of my brain when I sleep. Is this only entertaining in my head? Emphatic YES? Does this sound insane? in sane? Care killed the cat. Seal says... "No we're never gonna survive, unless We are a little Crazy" crazy indeed all rivers flow surely to the sea Take my whole life too.

Due, do, duty, duality, dew, dew in the garden of eden, drops of dew, Indra's net. Deduce.

The lion IS the lamb. My son asked about the person to make youtube. Did google? What the first video ever recorded to youtube? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_at_the_zoo Elephants. "The elephants have really, really, really long trunks. And that's pretty much all there is to say." "In Buddhism, the elephant is seen as an earthly manifestation of the qualities embodied in the Buddha himself." "Just as the elephant’s trunk which is otherwise restless, will become steady if it is made to hold an iron chain, so that the elephant goes its way without reaching out for any other object, so also the ever-restless mind, which is trained and accustomed to a name or form through meditation or invocation, will steadily hold on to that alone." - Ramana Maharshi But, the elephants have really, really long trunks though Ramana. It must be lucky, to have Ram in your name.

Secret, seven, seals See, see, see?

"Meanings and history of the name Sia Swedish name derived from the Old Norse sigr, meaning "victory." Scottish Gaelic vocabulary word meaning "six." Pronounced: SEE-uh Sia, sjA (transliteration sjA)in the ancient Egypt was the god of wisdom and knowledge, residing in the heart. ---- -Indian goddess Sita feminine virtues: dedication, self-sacrifice, courage, purity -Hebrew: helper -Old Norse "sigr" -> Swedish: victory' -Scottish: six -Arabic name Zia: 'light, splendour or glow'; -Swedish: prophesy -Persian: one who brings joy' -Greek (Athanasia): immortal, resurrection -Biblical/ Hebrew (Sia also Siaha) council, congregation, to converse"

That was it! The word last night that came to me and kept going through my head over and over again. I was so frustrated, I forgot it and couldn't think of it to journal about it. BE - come. BE COME Beacon “Come, come, whoever you are, wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving, it doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times."- Rumi Beacon, light worker, the new logo, the mountain, the light, the Sierra Nevada (Sierra means saw), Leo is from Nevada, what does Nevada mean? Snow. What is Leo's signature quote? "Be melting snow, wash yourself of yourself." =Rumi Rumi- ruminate. "ru·mi·nate /ˈro͞oməˌnāt/ verb 1.think deeply about something. "we sat ruminating on the nature of existence" sit

History and Etymology for Sierra Spanish, literally, saw, from Latin serra Saw as in a mountain chain going up and down, like the teeth of a saw. The double meaning of saw/saw, "Que sera, sera" 'whatever will be, will be'.

Psyche Psychology Sigmund Freud Systems. Synergy Simple, single, singularity, sign "Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky. Its name is derived from the Greek word Σείριος Seirios "glowing" or "scorching". Sigh... I really need to get off my ass and go buy some fucking groceries now. Si reversed? Is

666 Six Six Six See, SEE, see??? Sight

Sia -Unstoppable AH!!!!!!

Oh my God, and with that, I have gone too far down the (possum) rabbit hole. So much synchronicity, Sincerely yours, signing off now. Pray for me. Pray? P ray like a ray of light, a ray of sun. Oh, when will it stop?

I saw an image/narrative during meditation of my heart. It's a cave of jewels/or a single jewel and there's a really pissed off little dragon laying claim to it and guarding it. A couple of nights ago I pulled the 10 of swords tarot card and had an insight about how dramatic I tend to be. We know and are shamed for causing drama or acting dramatic in real life but the ego is the drama behind it's own shaming of drama. It's the internal self created drama in thinking. My parents got an ice storm and the trees are stunning, the sunlight reflecting off all the branches like diamonds. I had an insight to walk out back and the sun was in the direction, shining through the trees where I had my first insight that "I am light" when I first sat to meditate. Last night I watched an interview with the guy who channels Bashar. I got annoyed, (judgmental thoughts) about his own projects of movie making in the beginning and stopped watching it. I had an impulse/message to go back to it. Then another to skip to 44 minutes in. What he said then was fascinating. Indra's net stuck with me. "In the heaven of Indra, there is said to be a network of pearls, so arranged that if you look at one, you see all the other reflected in it." -The Rig Veda I was reading and envisioning Indra's net last night. I deeply love symbols. It's basically a spider web with water drops on it. Nahm's avatar of the leaf and water droplets comes to mind, and his pointer of why bubbles end up always being round, or water or stars, or planets, etc. I mentored a 10 year old girl last week as part of a project with her school, and during a demo was going to explain to her how glass turns round when melted and but a second before I could say it she noticed herself and exclaimed over it. I randomly made her a yellow flower without thought and noticed this morning in my bright yellow hallway (which I love now by the way) with the dreamboard the book "The Secret of the Golden Flower" and made the connection between yellow and gold, which I recently moved in there. I bought a shampoo that has a green apple and a leaf on it, ran out of my old shampoo and put it in the shower a couple days ago. In the shower the water beaded on the bottle over the leaf to look just like Nahm's profile image. The symbolism of roots, or a tree branches, fractaled, mirrored circularly, like a kaleidoscope, would create a net. During meditation I had a vision of these water droplets, in Indra's net with faces in them and made the connection of how we truly reflect each other. symbolism, symbiosis "The English prefixes syn- along with its variant sym-, derived from Greek, mean “together.” You can remember syn- easily by thinking of synonym, which is a word that goes “together” with another word because it has a similar meaning." synonym, synchronicity. Funny that it sounds like "sin" My friend's married name has "sin" in it, she's the one who I read the Empowered wife book for that helped me breakthrough. Her married name has always been very striking and funny to me, especially considering our shared Christian upbringing. I just had a memory of a Japanese missionary coming to the church when I was very young. We were supposed to pronounce a the Japanese word for sin word properly, with the t mostly silent, and there was a lot of laughter and hilarity. What is the Japanese word for sin? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsumi Does the dragon guard its Easter eggs like jewels? Or does it know that it only serves to hide their light when it believes it owns them. SY- Sincerely Yours I hadn't written the word "sincerely" in such a long time until I had to write letters for the mentor program.

The cross represents transcendence through/of suffering. It also represents the intersection between horizontal and vertical dimensions. Jesus was God made man (or man made God, rather). It's about duality merging and becoming one with nonduality. It's a strange loop. As Ramana Maharshi describes the world as being projected and consumed all at once, as all river and streams flow to the sea and the cycle begins and repeats infinity, Christ was telling his disciples that he must be consumed, accepted as part of themselves as the One. John 6:53 So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves."

Less values, less holding yourself to a standard, more self Love. Self Love is the essentially the same thing as meditation, it is the wisdom to let go of thoughts that don't feel good, thoughts that judge yourself. When you don't practice self love it's as if there are two of you in an abusive love relationship in your head. One constantly beats up on the other, then they make up, then they fight again. The voice that judges and criticizes itself, does so because it thinks there's a standard or values it must uphold. Examine your beliefs and values. Do you want to be good (think of oneself as successful, self actualized, respectable) or do you want to feel good, (experience inspiration, love, acceptance, oneness)? Is there truly, in actuality, a difference, or duality between the two?

There is not Abraham Hick's way, or Leo's way or Bashar's way, Eckhart Tolle's way, Ramana Maharshi's, Lao Tzu's way. There are no conflicts. They are all aspects of yourself that only come together as integration within/without you. You'll attract just what you need when you need it. Ooof. I just had an idea/inspiration towards integrating my business and spirituality, and realized it's been a dream of mine for a long time... from the beginning. The moon is stunning tonight.

I bought Abraham Hick's money and attraction cards a couple months ago. They are helpful for unwiring yucky thoughts and beliefs about money. I really want to unwire beliefs about the subject of money and feel like it's similar to the sexual repression issue, I like to pass off the issue of money as stupid and irrelevant and "I'm above that, because money isn't important" BUT, as I've discovered, one subject is never just one subject. Repression is repression. I am not a material girl, but I am a material girl. I feel like if I spend money, I need to have had a windfall to feel good about it or that I'll have to work harder later on to justify it. I believe that I need to control money by thinking a lot about it and a lot of those thoughts don't feel great. It's really, really strikingly beautiful right now, and while I was driving and appreciating it I thought of this. The present is a gift, a present, (haha) already always, but it's up to us to accept it. A lot of our thoughts are so inappropriate it's as if your child gave you a sculpture they worked on for hours, and without saying a word or skipping a beat, you pull out a knife and violently chop it to bits. You separate perfection into bits so you can reject parts of it, in your ignorance that it was indeed, already perfect to begin with.

Why is there something rather than nothing? Why is there duality? Why must everything have an opposite? What was (are? I wrote "was" instead of are, which is era spelled backwards, btw) we doing here, realizing the underlying transcending oneness of duality itself? The nondual and the dual can never be separate. The one is many, it's always many, it can never NOT BE MANY, just as it can never NOT BE ONE. Is this true, or am I bullshitting myself? Did I not choose to bullshit myself, am I not the magician putting on a show and the audience together for the purpose of entertainment? DOCTRINE says it's ONE. It's ONE MOTHER FUCKERS. (doctrine, the doctor's in, and it's been doctored. No illness, no doctor) Why the back and forth? Why the good and bad? Why when I got sick when I was a kid, really sick, all my desires and identifications disappeared and there was suffering. There was studying the patterns on the linoleum of the floor, and existential questioning, a desire for death over suffering. And when it lifted there was a bliss state. Or when I had my wisdom teeth out, 18 hours later, there was a bliss state. Is the bliss state just a "goody" as Preetom says? Is it something more or is that wishful thinking? Is it like the cork shooting back to the surface after it's been held down, far under the surface of the water? The further you hold the cork down, the higher it shoots out of the water from the pressure, it's like loading a gun. Fear is a tricky thing. It's afraid to be wrong. Where does wrong start and right begin? Fear is afraid to venture out for fear that it will suffer because of it. The desire to transcend conditions itself CANNOT come out of fear. It must come out of love. Fear is resistance, cutting itself off. It is afraid of itself, and yet it serves itself. This flip state seems to be the entire purpose of our existence. No fear, no courage. So then, what is the difference between fully accepting conditions and transcending them? Is not fear and depression a beautiful building up to their opposites, and then, where does the fear end and love start? Does not the view from a high cliff on a mountain stun and awe, where fear and beauty merge and are felt fully? Where does depression end and happiness start? Where do they meet in the middle? Do they cancel each other out? So then, how can there be opposites at all if one does not have a beginning or end, if they cancel themselves out in the middle, what is the middle called? What is the opposite of energy? Where does the question stop and the answer begin? So why is there something rather than nothing?