mandyjw

An insight is a thought you've never thought of before, a connection that's being made seemingly for the first time. Do you think a thought or does a thought think you? In order to clear the way for insights you need to stop repeating thoughts, or forget what you think you already know. Just as you can't listen to what someone is saying if you're thinking about how ugly their shoes are or about what you will say next, you can't receive an insight if you're repeating the same old thoughts and holding the same old beliefs on autoplay. know, now spelled backwards is "won", won/one, know that all is one, now.

Author ity "An author is the creator or originator of any written work such as a book or play, and is also considered a writer. More broadly defined, an author is the person who originated or gave existence to anything" and whose authorship determines responsibility for what was created." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Author ob live ious live/evil existence sentence tence tense tense 1. (especially of a muscle or someone's body) stretched tight or rigid. late 17th century: from Latin tensus ‘stretched’, from the verb tendere . 2. a set of forms taken by a verb to indicate the time (and sometimes also the continuance or completeness) of the action in relation to the time of the utterance. Middle English (in the general sense ‘time’): from Old French tens, from Latin tempus ‘time’. scin·til·lat·ing - "sparkling or shining brightly." "brilliantly and excitingly clever or skillful."

fact know ledge content content 1.in a state of peaceful happiness. 2.the things that are held or included in something. What do you MEAN you can't be content? Oh, I crack myself up and fall into all the pieces of the content.

I ate way too many lentils and beans, and peas (all legumes) for a year (all very carefully cooked and rinsed well) with no problems and now cannot tolerate them or a good amount of other foods. I'm not entirely sure I should blame the diet I was on, but I would suggest not eating beans every single day if you're having any bloating issues. Quinoa is another food that can be really difficult to digest for some.

Psycho logical hows that for a duality, yin and yang in one word? Oh.. words, letters, characters, care actors, did you seduce me or did I seduce you? You're both funny, charming AND profound. seduce, deduce I love the intimacy, into me see? Peer amid. individual in divi dual, divisible. theVISIBLE, duh!

You create it/ it creates you. @Faceless said "The words we use tend to use us" English language, I passionately love you. Use me, consume me. cons/u/me time mirrored is emit now- won -one wordsword sword

You cannot be insane and enlightened at the same time. "Insane/sane is a duality", a fictional judgement of the mind. The way we judge if someone is sane or insane is by judging how proficient they are at survival. Paradoxically for most of us enlightenment requires balance, respect and acceptance for survival "concerns", but without fear. That's the concern with drug abuse, they are seeing truth without having access to the understanding and practices necessary for integration.

I'm beginning to appreciate the irony in how much education it takes to forget what you know and how much passionate desire it takes to transcend one's own wants. Without nondual or religious teachings of some sort, or without having the notion is one's head of enlightenment being a "goal" to "achieve", an enlightenment experience is going to be interpreted as a very big problem. We are so quick to say something is abnormal that we don't stop to consider that we have never experienced "normal" at all.

The mind loves to create problems out of nothing. The dissolution of self is a very big problem... to the self. Enlightenment require transcendence of all identity, including and especially the identity and of oneself as "sane" over "crazy."

You can't know with thought. You are beyond thought or image. Your thought, perception and belief of an illusion. Control and body, is a thought duality. You seem to be controlling the body like the driver of a car seems to control it. Sometimes. Who beats your heart, who reminds you to breathe? Who digests your food? Does this require a controller or does it just occur for you? Itself. Reality projects and consumes (sees) its own content. Harry Potter isn't real but millions of children have enjoyed and adored his story and character regardless as the author enjoyed writing it. This isn't a very good pointer (haha), but it is interesting. If you point to yourself in reference to yourself in speech in front of another person, where do you point to?

You have to work through the beliefs, which involves cycles of meditation, learning and making connections, focus on new experiences, possibilities that feel good, and close examination and rewriting of the beliefs behind your suffering. Or more simply, when you were a kid you had a lot of time to think, play and be. Recreate that. It's never going to be like you were when you were a child because you've developed your abilities and intellect. When you clear the way of the false beliefs that got learned along with those things, it's better than ever. That's true maturity.

In the 50's and 60's there were really strong standards about how women should look and act, and there was a big reaction against it. If we would stop imposing standards on our children, anyone else, and including our own selves, there wouldn't be a problem. Standards aid us in judging others so we can feel like there are some external guidelines behind our own judgement, as if there's something to back it up. We forget that it's not about the standards themselves which are relative and arbitrary, but about the habit of judgement behind them.

Annoying intuition this morning told me to wear my Def Leppard tank top under my usual two thick sweaters. I just took off my sweater and remembered this and searched for Def Leppard music. I never knew this song even existed.

I just got back from the vet's office, and they were behind schedule but I had a really wonderful time talking to people. There was a black puppy there owned by a young guy and the dog's name was Rocky (my black dog Rocky died in May) and Muninn and Rocky played together a long time. There was a really nice lady there who told me about a dog park nearby and I got to learn the difference between Old English Bulldogs and English Bulldogs. This lady eventually brought in her dog, a white female who was absolutely wild. Her name was Suki. "Gender: Female. Origin: Japanese. Meaning: Beloved." The same delivery man who doesn't like dogs but also thinks he can mesmerize them also came in again, and ended up sort of sandwiched by circumstance between the enormous bulldog and Muninn.

"One day Narcissus was walking in the woods when Echo, an Oread (mountain nymph) saw him, fell deeply in love, and followed him. Narcissus sensed he was being followed and shouted "Who's there?". Echo repeated "Who's there?" She eventually revealed her identity and attempted to embrace him. He stepped away and told her to leave him alone. She was heartbroken and spent the rest of her life in lonely glens until nothing but an echo sound remained of her. Nemesis (as an aspect of Aphrodite[4]), the goddess of revenge, noticed this behaviour after learning the story and decided to punish Narcissus. Once, during the summer, he was getting thirsty after hunting, and the goddess lured him to a pool where he leaned upon the water and saw himself in the bloom of youth. Narcissus did not realize it was merely his own reflection and fell deeply in love with it, as if it were somebody else. Unable to leave the allure of his image, he eventually realized that his love could not be reciprocated and he melted away from the fire of passion burning inside him, eventually turning into a gold and white flower." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology) So in the end, Narcissus becomes the secret of the golden flower. Enlightened. It's not a sad ending, at all, it's a happy one.

This leads straight into my deepest fear though, the one that's beneath the surface of this visible iceberg and goes down through to the depths of the sea. What if no one ever reads the book? What if no one reads and appreciates this journal or whatever else I do? What if no one appreciates me? What if I can only ever appreciate myself? Isn't that narcissistic? Unsatisfactory? How could you be appreciating yourself if you were feeling unsatisfied? The two cannot coexist. How can it be narcissistic if there is no you and no other? Is Narcissus truly looking at his own reflection, or the water itself? Do you see that the choice or thought of interpretation of "seen" and "meaning" and "ownership" that makes all the difference? That, is what gives birth to judgement, that is what creates the narcissist and the empath, and yes my dear, if you are one of these you must also be the other. What if I am entirely alone? What if I am only talking to myself? Who am I? Whose hands are moving along the keyboard that you've already worn the letters off of, again? Whose voice speaks through the others in conversation with you during the times in which everything aligns, the ones you so deeply love and who's love and acceptance you long after? Who withholds this love? Who owns this love? Who can "see" another? Who knows the "right" things to say in response to another? Do you remember the day you crossed the brook on a fallen tree? It was hard to keep my balance so I reached out, and I grabbed some thin tree branches that were there. Oddly enough, when I was holding on to them, they gave me perfect balance and confidence, even though I knew intellectually that if I fell or even twisted them with my hand very much at all, they would break off in a second and fall into the water and rocks along with me. Were the branches magic? Or did they allow you to focus? What happened to Peter when he was walking on water and became aware of the strong wind? Can't you see the true teacher or guru is the insignificant tree branch? The moment that the guru or student imagines the guru himself to be a strong upholding force of his own inherent accord, his true purpose as a teacher has disappeared. Do you want to have the strong tree to lean on? Or do you want to be the focus that takes you all the way across the water? Do you need to be the strong tree for others who holds them "safely" in their place or the illusory soft branch that mysteriously serves in the awakening of Love, already residing in the heart?

What are the things that frequently trigger feelings of embarrassment in people? Altered states of consciousness, deep feelings, sex, drugs, shows of vulnerability, creative work, not being "all there". So essentially any time the mind is put aside to let something else through, any time the ego is threatened? What is the function of judgement? To protect the ego/cut oneself off from Love. What is the function of self judgement? To get ahead of or prevent judgement from others, so that one does not have to experience judgment from others, they first judge themselves in their head. No one will burn their book and write them hate letters if they never write it. Is there any difference between the one who is judging, the aspiring author who judges the ideas and therefore never writes them down, or the person who burns the book? No, it is the entirely same protection of self and rejection of Love occurring. So can anyone prevent something occurring by doing it first? If you were afraid that you were going to get in a car accident, would you decide to drive your car off a cliff, to "get ahead of it"? Do you see now how the law of attraction works? You do to yourself what you wouldn't have others do unto you. Did you just reverse and mirror The Golden Rule? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." No, but you did.

So how do "people" respond to forces of nature? With a random mix of judgments depending on their level of consciousness and how personaly affected they are by them at the time. Sometimes they are inspired and sometimes they are furious. So if an enthusiastic skier is thrilled if there's a blizzard and someone else curses it, wouldn't it make sense that a creative expression would also receive mixed reactions? Don't you already know this from the reactions of people to every creative project that's ever been manifested? Yes, but I need everyone to love me. *Giant face palm*

If I let go of judgmental thoughts, how will I know if I'm doing a good job or not? By the way it feels. No good, no work to be done. How can YOU do "good work"? Well you see, that's what I've been beating myself up about. I think that maybe I've been a complete fool on this forum, maybe in life in general, and am unworthy of delving into these topics at all. This journal is a major embarrassment, just like the others I wrote in the past. I'm an embarrassment. Maybe I've fucked up my life, maybe I am crazy and should have just stayed out of it all. Every time I plunge into a creative endeavor, or follow my dreams, I experience incredible highs and low lows in which I experience intense disappointment that everyone else didn't follow or appreciate the highs along with me. So who are these other people? Thoughts. My own judgmental thoughts. I blame other people for my own fear, my own lack of love for myself and them. Can you tell yourself a new story about the experience of creative power? She's wild, She's chaotic, She's the force of nature. She sinks ships, burns and topples houses, but She is the very life force they were created from.

I had a really general, but really bad thought or feeling today. I've made huge strides and as someone who dealt with depression quite a bit over every single winter. It doesn't even feel like winter. I see through the fantastically flawed mind interpretations behind the actual experience mostly now. Certain things lined up today to make me more "prone" to my old way of thinking, weather, illness, getting called into speak with the teacher about my son's behavior outburst. Actually curiosity and self love is increasing as I write because now that I think there were even more triggers than that. I ended up parking in a spot I never park in anymore, the same spot I parked in everyday for two years two years ago. And I saw and spoke to a friend I haven't seen but saw everyday two years ago. There weren't any thoughts leading up to it, complaining of the situation, or at least many of them. A half hour later I had this feeling or thought come in. It was a general feeling of despair and giving up on life in general but with the flavor/thought of twisting "what I know now" around and making non duality and isness (or isn'tness) into a liability. I felt it and then got curious about it, and recognized it as a judgmental thought, only the target of the judgement thought was my existence itself. Abraham Hicks talks about going general with your thinking about projects when you feel bad, going into specifics when you feel good. I wonder if with negative thoughts it works the opposite way, the more general the negative thought the worse it feels. "I don't like my nose" feels bad but much better than I don't like my existence. The curiosity broke through the feeling bad. Curiosity breaks through identification. Which is curious.

OH MY GOD! Most epic use of "nailed it" ever.

@Nahm Oh my God.

@Nahm Just wondering if you have any insights into the meaning of Jesus' referring to himself as the "Son of Man". Does it refer to spiritual evolution or the One?

No time, no others. You/I know myself so well. Oh wait, you already quoted that above! "Know thy self." I see how that fits in now.

@Lento Noticed an "exit only" sign and was thinking about it philosophically. Followed a truck that on the way back turned off and went in the exit only. I told myself "Let it lie" on the way home and it echoed in my head until the meaning changed, lie/lie. Got stuck behind a roadwork truck and a tractor trailer came up behind me really fast and tailgated me pushing me to pass before I was ready (so I unnecessarily thought). Feeling small, noticed the mudflap on the truck ahead of me. "Fairfield" We all be playing on a level field. I was wondering about why I like to remember and record synchronicity so much, who am I keeping this journal for, should I let it go? Then a song came on starting with the line... "I'm done hatin' myself for feelin'"