mandyjw

Yes, so ultimately there is no real separation between emotion and thought, the emotion is the indicator of where the thought is coming from, what belief is behind the thought and how true it is. There is no "real thought", thought avoids thought with more thought. Feeling itself in real time cannot avoid. A thought of an emotion is a thought. Depression is a thought. Anger is a thought. In the present moment, in real time, ONLY are those emotions felt and they are not. You know what happens when we try to avoid thought? We think it. Don't think about purple elephants, don't think that, DON'T DO IT. Except since you don't give a damn about purple elephants, that example sort of sucks, because there already is no belief or attachment that that thought is bad. There may be though with the thought "depression". If feeling is guidance of how "true" a thought is and I think. "I'm depressed." Feeling will respond negatively, I will have negative emotion. But if I don't understand that feeling is for feeling, NOT for thinking and is NEVER a thought, I will interpret that negative emotion AS the depression. ??????? Holy shit Batman. That's all I have to say about that. Feelings, feelings, really feelings? Nuh uh. You are mistaking thoughts for feelings. Those are thoughts. Thoughts that aren't true. That feeling is saying nope to them. Duped. You been duped. Feeling is now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Still now. Only now.

How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go Alice?

Spiritual bypassing is just putting thinking over feeling. The only way I can bypass, resist or seperate is by thinking. It's the same old thing, believing a thought that feels off over listening to the feeling. Spiritual bypassing itself could become a thought that isn't resonating, rather than a helpful term. I don't abide by rules. I don't live in time. I don't have a painbody or a self concept outside of practical thought and language but this isn't because I did anything to get rid of them, you already don't either. This is already the case, prior to thought, except for maybe there are thoughts believed that it is otherwise.

@Nahm ROAR!

To be honest the painbody concept helped me, not to understand myself so much but to let go of some of my expectations for others behavior towards me. It was also very helpful for a close friend with her marriage. The concept helps you realize that they aren't volatile assholes, that they are believing a lot of thoughts about themselves that aren't true. It's a lot better label to put on someone than calling them a narcissist or giving them some other label. Sometimes a label or diagnosis helps us to let go of judgement about ourselves or others. Sometimes it is the judgment itself and holds the unwanted condition in place. For example the identity of being someone who experiences depression can create the resistance to it which IS the depression. The belief is that I am the one who is depressed, rather than "oh, that's a a thought that feels really off, ok, yuck, that's not true. Can I focus on something else, right now?? Ok, I'm going to really look at this tree as if I've never seen it before." None of us can condone or condemn terms and labels. Just use words like tools, use them for good, not for smacking yourself with. Just don't get man with a hammer syndrome, and hold it over your own head, waiting for the hammer to fall.

If you don't like what someone creates, create your own.

If it were me I'd get my diploma in psychology if you're that close to having it. You can always take a coaching course later on. You probably could go back and get the diploma later too, but I don't know what the circumstances around that are.

I have a friend with a similar background. A bit later in life she was separated from her sister in a foster home. She is fun to be around and open in person, but in order to maintain the friendship I nearly always have to be the one to reach out. She has absolutely no qualms about relationships completely dropping off. It took a while for me to realize this wasn't what she actually wanted, it wasn't just a pattern with me but with everyone, that she liked me, and wanted to be friends but that I suppose, she had just learned this pattern somehow. I think it was necessary at the time to protect herself, but she hasn't found that it's no longer serving her. Honestly, I think you just have to define what you want, which you have, and which is the biggest step to have taken. You, with the posting of this thread and determining your desire for greater connection have defeated the biggest boss. It's a cake walk from here on out. Reach out to people more. Allow yourself to appreciate them more. Be good to yourself. You aren't a narcissist. You're healing for God's sakes.

I just had to look up autodidact because I didn't know what it was, which was the funniest full circle thing ever. You warn people when you can. I've received many, many warnings in life that were far more destructive than helpful though. Warnings that thwarted healthy curiosity, that cut me off from my own intuition and actually caused a lack of exploration resulting in worse naivete. The whole feeling guidance thing works through and as awareness... relaxed, unafraid awareness. When you mix up "be aware" with BEWARE, it becomes the very thing you hope to avoid. I want people to be aware. Not to BEWARE.

@4201 No, I don't think anyone enjoys it. However, nothing makes you more clear about where they want to go than going in the wrong direction. The clarity or grand revelation is that feeling is the guidance, that you don't need someone else to tell you because you are always feeling for yourself. Although if what they are teaching is aligned and is taught by someone who is in touch with THIER OWN guidance and they are pointing you to the same there's love, synergy, mutual appreciation, momentum and all kinds of wonderful things. It's definitely something worth wanting but you know what the way to it is? Your own guidance. See how brilliantly that works? You are the seeker and the sought after, the teacher and the taught. Well played Universe, well played.

What would it be subject to?

It's a bit like describing fear itself AS the monster under the bed. Sometimes characterizing it is helpful to realizing you create it and to help to take it less seriously. His name is Larry and he is very messy and overly fond of junk food. If you are feeling bad your thoughts are not clear or true. They are not to be taken seriously. There is no entity behind thoughts, there is no possessor of thought.

Get outside especially around sunset.

There's a seeking pattern that starts with self doubt or insecurity and then looks for credit or confirmation from someone else. Because we know most people are fickle and we can't please everyone nor do we care to, we hone in on one person. Daddy must always be happy, we must always be the apple of his eye, then when even the one person we selected becomes impossible to please and we disown our own desires in order to do it, we get angry and try to burn down the patriarchy, or smash his beer bottle in the floor and yell at him when he's drunk. The reason Daddy needed us to please him is because he was insecure and self doubting. So there is no "one" who can be insecure or doubt themselves. There is no "one" who can actualize or build themselves up to avoid the insecurity. There is no "one" responsible for it. It's not happening, which is exactly why healing can seem to occur, but it never will. There will be no one moment when it is proclaimed healed. We could journal about it, as if it were a problem. We could shove it under the rug as if it were a problem. Does it matter what we do? No. I'm hooked like crack on connective, REAL conversations, on having things end on a good note. Taking conversation to new places, appreciating each other on a deep level, having intuition and seeing into someone on a level you didn't know was possible. Don't leave me hanging, I'll come back for more. I want to make you happy. I want to make you happy. I want to make you happy. I just want to make you happy. Conditions don't make happiness, it's uncaused. I cannot make anyone happy.

I LOVE this song, somehow found it minutes after it was released and it quickly became one of those you play on repeat for weeks. Saw the video for the first time last night. The fact that she did THIS with the music video is too perfect. "If we never make it, I'm okay with it I'm your Juliette, you're my Brad Pitt They're the humans, we are the monolith And I'll keep spinning around for ya, spinning around for ya"

We came for the fun of motion, for the fun of emotion. But we never move. No. On the other hand, old patterns come up. I had to wear soaking wet shoes home, cause I got them wet on the trail and when I put my feet in them, I was suffering for a minute, and then I remembered that I don't move. The actual sensation is pleasurable if I had to judge as weird as that sounds. If I am utterly present listening to music it isn't, it's the movement or illusion of time and change that creates the vibes, and then the pleasure that seems to come from the music. Resistance is a funny thing, if movement is for pleasure, and you're not actually moving, how would there be such a thing? think (v.) Old English þencan "imagine, conceive in the mind; consider, meditate, remember; intend, wish, desire" (past tense þohte, past participle geþoht), probably originally "cause to appear to oneself," from Proto-Germanic *thankjan (source also of Old Frisian thinka, Old Saxon thenkian, Old High German denchen, German denken, Old Norse þekkja, Gothic þagkjan). Old English þencan is the causative form of the distinct Old English verb þyncan "to seem, to appear" (past tense þuhte, past participle geþuht), from Proto-Germanic *thunkjan (source also of German dünken, däuchte). Both are from PIE *tong- "to think, feel" which also is the root of thought and thank. The two Old English words converged in Middle English and þyncan "to seem" was absorbed, except for its preservation in archaic methinks "it seems to me." https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=think

No, we should combine with Canada. Canamerica anyone? Yes we can, I say.

I'd say just hold her. Let's talk about how you are doing. That's quite a roller coaster in a short amount of time. Are you ready for kids, do you want kids? How are you feeling about this, selfishly, personally?

@Rilles Imagine you are listening closely for something, like you thought you heard an animal in the woods, so you stop still and listen intensely. Listen like that right now, even though there's no pressing reason. Are you knowing or not knowing?

I recently took a reiki class, and the reiki community here is very involved in the hospice organization, and they do a lot of volunteer work. Social skills are sort of a mute point in those circumstances, it challenges you to connect on a being level and cuts through our well worn robotic methods of communicating and connecting. Just an idea. You could also look into visiting people in nursing homes and sort of stare your fears in the face and give someone else company at the same time. Meditation, exercise, time in nature and creative pursuits and challenges are also great. When I'm in a creative flow I revel in being alone. Don't even give it any thought actually. If all else fails, sending you a big hug. ?

What God? If you blame someone for something, you're stuck feeling less than good about it. Then you think the reason you feel less than good is the person, not your own focus on the thing you think is causing the negative emotion. It's throwing away your own power to love and create. Of course that feels bad, this is what you came here for, love and creation. What do you love? What do you want to create?

@4201 What if you were pointing yourself to your Self? Where would you point? The question of right place, wrong place, distance, somewhere other than here, someone other than me, leading, misleading... If I were to point you to anything else I could steer you wrong or steer you right depending on what you were hoping to get from it.

Is it though? Pointing is like, "DUDE!!! check this OUT!" I'm amazed and enjoying this sunset, or big wave, or whatever, and I want you to enjoy it with me too. We make a big deal of Neil Armstrong because he was the first man to step foot on the moon, but if I point out the moon to you because I think it's quite beautiful tonight, that's entirely different. You wouldn't call me a leader. You wouldn't talk about giant steps for mankind. You'd either look, and join me in my appreciation or not.

@omar30 @Emotionalmosquito I was speaking in a very general manner, as in you don't actually go anywhere. When you walk you think you're moving within a world, but maybe you're attracting it all, sorta like VR but without a screen. Test it out.

The very nature of thought is circular. Writing, reading and communicating is experience. Coming to this forum completely changed my understanding and experience. There isn't a higher, purer or better place to go no matter where you are.