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About Tovius

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  1. Through meditation I realized that all dreams are alike. When meditating, I was calm, focused on breath and thoughts were still running. I couldn't ignore them but also didnt identify myself with them. I just watched them. Effortlessly. It was like i wasnt even trying to watch them. I just was, and I'm not sure how or why. I didnt have any positive or negative emotions or reactions towards them. Hard to explain. All I can say is I was calmly watching these dreams, or thought stories without "moving a muscle" so to speak. So daydreams, or when I think, I'm identifying and reacting with emotion and in these meditation dreams or thought stories I was effortlessly watching but also calm due to the breathing meditation I started with, that eventually lead me to this. It's also different than sleeping dreams because even then one can wake up from nightmares, etc. I cant say I realized that this reality is a dream yet. So this only has to do with thought stories. I was still aware that I was mediating, and the thought stories did stop every now and then when i brought myself back to the 4-3-7 exercise I was doing. Im honestly pretty new to meditation. I tried it on and off for months but due to situations it was hard to find time. I then left a certain situation behind but then I kind of left the journey behind for a couple of months because I've been having trouble coping with the outcome of said situation. I now have time in the evening and in the early morning. I know i havent done shit here, but I'm writing this to I guess get advice as to what to do and where to go from here. How do I do this with daydreams? Just watch them and not get angry, or sad, or any other emotion.
  2. What exactly would this do for this work? I'm interested in learning.
  3. It seems to me what you're saying is that I'm free to make whatever choice I prefer or to hold myself prisoner due to circumstance. Do I have this right or am I off? What your saying seems simple but very confusing to me and I want to make sure I understand to contemplate liberation.
  4. So let's say you someone you're familiar with off in the distance heading your way. Notice that before you even identify with a thought, you have an emotion about said individual. Therefore, it's not actually thought your are identifying with at the root of it, it's the emotion. That emotion of how you feel about a person, place, idea, etc. literally is the tag that one uses to identify with said thing. That emotion, once identified with and accepted as true, opens up like a file. You open up the entire file of how you feel about that thing. The judement you've held onto about this thing is held within this file. You then tag that entire file with an emotion to identify with it. Once you remove the tag you can see how said object is either an expression of love or is expressing love. Emotion is the judgment. Love just sees love.
  5. See that negativity is also love. "Man, my life sucks. Things never go my way." The thoughts that one has about how things should be is what that one is loving.
  6. So last night my toddler had a rough night sleeping so I took him to our couch and started to sing a lullaby in a over and over. The same lullaby. At this moment as I was holding him on my chest singing, it was as if I truly connected in some way with love. It was like my spiritual heart just expanded with energy enjoying the love. As I kept repeatedly singing this lullaby, and kept in this love connection, it was as if my voice faded. I still knew I was singing and at the same volume.l, but I could not hear a lyric. I could not feel a breath, but knew I was still breathing. I still felt, still knew I was holding my son. I saw nothing but because eyes were closed. I knew what my experience was. I'm stating what happened here as it did and dont want to interpret anything myself for my ego.
  7. Thank you for answering and providing clarity, it is very helpful.
  8. How is this true acceptance aligning with love? Wouldn't leaving be resistance?
  9. What is depression without the thought of depression? When you have am emotion go into the vibrational energy in the chest area and feel what it is. Exactly If you can do it, great! It's stronger in the moment for me.
  10. If you dont know that answer to "what is love?", then feel into emotions to realize that love is you. This is my point. How can you tell what love is without knowing? The trick is to realize that emotions are love, which is you, expressing itself. Edit: and I'm not saying you're an emotion. Emotions are just the expression. You are Love, which is all there is.
  11. I hear that, I was out of touch on how to actually do this too. Try to imagine a time in your life that makes you depressed or happy. Literally feel this in your chest, then ask "what is this emotion I'm feeling?". Try to feel that depression and happiness are the same feeling without thought attachment. That's the real you, love. Memories dont work for me really, I had to wait for the moment to come while also noticing that that moment was a chance for the question. You may have to as well! Also, for negative reactions (anger, annoyance, etc.) Notice the pressure in the head. Be mindful and you'll notice.
  12. This worked for me: The next time you are hit with a feeling within the chest (anxiety, a wave of depression, joy) "feel" into that emotion. Feel that it is a vibration with no interpretation to it. Your mind interprets these vibration feelings that are Love and interprets them into an expression. Depression is love wanting to express itself. Feel that these vibrations are the exact same as Love. Negative emotions can only originate from thoughts. Feel the immediate resistance in your head everytime you experience a negative emotion (anger, annoyance). You are Love. An expression of love. Look around and see at the very root of everything in your direct experience is there because of Love, an expression of Love. So for me it was a wave a depression. When I felt it I asked "what is depression?", closed my eyes, and felt the feeling for my answer. It was Love.
  13. The main problem with my practices is anticipation when there should just be an openness. I've moved past anticipating an awakening and have come to meditate just to meditate. Sit in silence just to do it and practice it. However when I sit in silence I pay attention to sounds, but when there's no sound it's like I'm waiting for the next sound to come. No thought with it telling me I'm anticipating but I feel the body bracing, just waiting for the next happening.