Oppositionless

consider that a hyperspace being could be inside you right now (or you inside it?) unseen and apply that to the third dimensional universe as a whole

the scary thing about mushrooms is you never know what you’re gonna get, you don’t know if the 4 gram trip dose you do one week is gonna be less insane than the 6 gram trip you did last time. it’s also the best part about mushrooms. they often act as mirror of the most evil parts of yourself, but you can come out of that feeling like you excercised your demons and are reborn

lock myself in a pitch black room for a few days. get really good at astral projection. binaural beats to a lesser extent and prolonged darkness to a very great extent will release endogenous dmt and cause you to have transpersonal (perhaps not psychedelic per se) experiences

watching the chronicles of narnia on around 300 ug of LSD added an emotional and spiritual punch. aided by the nature of the movie itself being very Biblical of course. I experiened ego death as Asland died and God consciousness when he came back, it was a gorgeous experience. not an easy trip by any means. like when Asland died, it felt truly terrifying. as if I was Asland. watched pirates of the caribbean right after and at this point I was profoundly sleep deprived as this was a latenight trip so I had the experience of just goofing off with my mates and wishing the trip would end so I could go to bed lol. side note we had a friend who wasn’t tripping but he definitely also felt some effects from us. these things alter our brainwaves, which probably can also affect others.

thanks . next time I’ll try a different brand!

all of a sudden have an urge to learn the math of game design. physics is crazy. I wouldn’t mind making a game or two. just for fun, I don’t wanna work in the industry. maybe I’ll make a game with my own music in the soundtrack. that would be a badass way of combining my skillsets. concept art would most likely be outsourced.

conservative doing some good metaphysics and epistemology. gets a little too triggered by secualrism for my taste. could go farther and deeper. very interesting overall and a different perspective from what I'm used to with leo and others, but covers lots of the same ground.

One absolutely central inconsistency ruins [the naturalistic worldview].... The whole picture professes to depend on inferences from observed facts. Unless inference is valid, the whole picture disappears.... Unless Reason is an absolute--all is in ruins. Yet those who ask me to believe this world picture also ask me to believe that Reason is simply the unforeseen and unintended by-product of mindless matter at one stage of its endless and aimless becoming. Here is flat contradiction. They ask me at the same moment to accept a conclusion and to discredit the only testimony on which that conclusion can be based. — C. S. Lewis

more ways in which I as a liberal am conservative 1.) psychedelics — I don’t know shit about psychedelics, every trip is unique. — I try not to to reckless things, for instance I haven’t had a breakthrough trip on dmt “just because that’s what you do” , all my dmt trips thus far have been low-dose and will continue to be low-dose until I’ve gotten all I can out of it — I’m extremely cautious about my marijuana use, I went to rehab when it was taking over my life and followed up with recovery meetings because I don’t want my life to be out of my hands 2.) work ethic I believe in the value of hard work. I know that if I don’t take school seriously I’ll live a mediocre life. 3.) sex and dating as I previously stated, I haven’t had sex with every single person I potentially could have. Generally speaking if I don’t see a future with someone I won’t have sex with them just because. I am extremely cautious about playing with women’s feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone. 4.) technology and artificial intelligence, I am on board with calls to limit research into ai until we can learn more about it. we need to make sure it’s morally aligned to our highest good before plowing forward. 5.) spirituality I think there’s a right and a wrong way to do spirituality. neo advaita is bs for instance. understanding God is a serious pursuit for serious thinkers, not a wishful thinking “already enlightened” thing. furthermore I recognize that taking a bunch of psychedelics or becoming a great meditator is NOT the same as awakening. fundamentally awakening is about serious contemplation, not practices. the practices are only good if they’re in service of contemplation.

Awareness alone is curative is an absolute classic imo

that’s a bit like asking if you can get hooked on antidepressants. while (maybe?) possible, it’s very hard to imagine

jerk off furiously

Don’t be a Shopenhauer. God is all upside.

level of conscious (0 to 1000) reading of substances, just a joke 986 . >> 5 meo dmt impressions: God, absolute infinity, truth, shock and awe, terror 944 >> 2c-P Bliss, God, infinity, truth, sexuality 912 >> Mescaline Grandfather, safe, sancitiy, God , truth 907 >> 2c-B Introductory, gentle, love, sexuality 860 >> Ayahuasca, Pharmahuasca, and Changa Mother, alien, revelation, God 777 >> LSA and morning glory Agony, suffering, God, absolute infinity 768 >> LSD Cosmic consciousness, God, energy, awakening, confusion 814 >> penicilin Love, safety, protection, freedom from pain 696 >> DMT Extraterestrial, God, truth, beauty, twisted sense of humor, reptilian 686 >> Psilocybin mushrooms and 4 aco dmt Extraterestrial, confusion, infinity, healing, God, twisted sense of humor 677 >> Salvia Extraterestrial, confusion, break through, God , twisted sense of humor 570 >> Marijuana Trickster, God, love, dependence

observe yourself. awareness alone is curative. that's how I finally stopped smoking so much pot. it became too painful you could also try rehab, of sorts, by going somewhere without internet for a week.

maybe try picking up a combat sport like jiu-jitsu or boxing for a few months

acknowledge that you already do love yourself, otherwise you wouldn't have made it this far, but that you just aren't very good at it.

on the absurdity of denying anecdote as unscientific someone claims that they have experienced consciousness beyond the body. they say that they astral projected, flew to wal-mart and saw a cashier named Kevin, and then when they got back to the body they drove to wal-mart and were able to identify the cashier that they saw. the skeptic responds with "that isn't science. science needs to be peer-reviewed to consider valid." the person who astral projected then says "Okay, so if anecdotes aren't scientific then we should discredit victims of sexual assault because dna evidence is hard to come by and usually it isn't caught on camera." the skeptic responds " No that's different because you're making a supernatural claim that could undermine all of science. That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." the person then responds : "Are you sure about that? Are you not aware of the consequences of being accused of sa? If anything, we should be even more cautious about that because someone's entire life is at stake here. If they are accused of this crime it will make it impossible to get a job, they might go to jail, starve etc." the skeptic says " well if it's supernatural it can't be real! therefore you're lying." the person then asks "how do you know it's supernatural and therefore unreal if you haven't tested it yourself." the skeptic then states "because none of my peers have experienced it. therefore it is impossible." at this point the person who had the experience can do nothing but shrug their shoulders and move on. he knows he experienced something real, but no one else dose, and if the skeptic isn't even willing to entertain the possibility that his worldview is wrong then there is nothing that can be said to change his mind. Because, of course, science is only 1% experiment and 99% anecdote. furthermore, the very idea that you can undermine science is absurd. the only thing that can be undermined is untrue beliefs within science. that is the very nature of good, proper science. it is constantly undermining its own incorrect theories, in an ideal world. but the world we find ourselves in is one in which victims are constantly dismissed, corporations have science by the balls, and shitheads get away with horrible crimes every single day. it might take a hundred allegations before you admit that your friend may be a victimizer. And even then you still might not be willing to admit the uncomfortable truth about your "friend".

critical assumptions of social anxiety 1. you are deficient in some way 2. other people notice your deficiency 3. other people don’t admire your deficiency 4. you are not perfect

critical assumptions: 1. consciousness comes from the body. 2. you are the body 3. time flows 4. space is absolute 5. the universe is finite 6. the universe exists

Either you want to know truth or you don’t. if you don’t want truth at any cost then no amount of psychedelics, or meditation, or telekinesis, or asral projection, or channeling, or near death experience is going to bring you to truth. Conversely if you want to know truth the lack of any of the above won’t stop you from finding truth. The universe will literally bend over backwards for you in your quest for truth. Everything else is details.

dropped my bupropion dose from 300 mg to 100 mg and finally went to sleep and stayed asleep. Woke up at 7am and went back to sleep until 9. It's been around two months since I could fall back asleep after waking up. now I feel normal levels of shittiness rather than overwhelming levels of shittiness. hopefully after a week of sleeping well I will feel pretty decent. Music sounds like nothing , just meaningless noise, to me right now. thats how I know I’m pretty depressed. I’m gonna put all my mental energy into programming and just forget about everything. I want a lover but I hate dating apps. I’ve had some success at clubs but nothing beyond some good future jerk-off material. looking for someone to explore the outer reaches of God with. and rest my head on their lap when I feel like shit. maybe medicinal ketamine? but I’m afraid of addiction, weed has caused enough problems. might be worth though. I don’t find k nearly as interesting as thc

I’m a pretty liberal dude, but the one arena in which I’m quite conservative is sex and relationships. I don’t think sex is something to do with just anyone. I’ve always taken pride in having a low “number.” but it’s come with some cost . maybe if I had more sex I would be more confident. I dunno. If I banged every person I probably could have, would I feel better or worse about myself? what if I started at a younger age, like as a teenager ? can’t say for sure. I need something to push past my physical limits again. without the stress that comes with competition, being on a school team, winning some ribbon or whatever.

the Psychiatrist says it's not the sleep meds but the antidepressant I'm on fuck all this shit man I just wanna be good.

Happiness: finding meaning in life, living virtuously. personality : INFP , level of ambition: 10/10 – between my two primary hobbies, programming and music production I spend around 40 hours a week working. Programming is partially motivated by school work but I still manage side projects. in addition to working 15 hours at a part time restaruant job. Music is entirely self motiavated. I’d love to make a side income posting music online, but so far my perfectionism has prevented me from actually releasing anything. In high school I ran cross country and wrestled, I picked those sports because they were the two most physically demanding ones my school offered. I walked the halls feeling like the ultimate badass who did what 99.9% couldn’t. Health: mental health has always been my biggest struggle . I frankly don’t know what it’s like to be just “fine” for an extended period of time. I don’t know what it’s like to not suffer from depression and insomnia. But I have a feeling I’m gonna have my sleep figured out soon. and once I have that, I’ll be the closest to happiness I’ve ever been. low consciousness values: being stoned, dating someone that will impress others. I’m extremely insecure and want someone to validate me. high consciousness values: computer programming, playing music, loving relationships and friendships, family, spirituality, creativity. desires : deep friendship desire for solitude: I’m an introvert so I love and need a lot of alone time, but I also suffer from severe loneliness in relation to my depression so living without a partner and or roomate would be hell. I still live with my parents, not related to money but mental health. spirituality: always has been important me. I began identifying as a pantheist when I was around 8 years old. creativity: I have a bunch of different outlets including philosophy, creative writing, posting online, producing music and playing instruments, drawing, and I’ve dabbled in theatre / acting.