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Everything posted by SamC

  1. One pointer is that you are afraid to get rejected by them because you reject yourself and even more so, you are afraid of rejecting yourself. What does rejecting something mean? It means not taking one part of yourself as yourself. You are afraid of rejecting yourself You are afraid of that loop which makes it come back because you are afraid of being afraid. You won't solve this by trying to not be afraid of being rejected, you can only solve it if you become okey with being rejected which in your case means being okey with you feeling afraid of being rejected <<<< Thats your internalised feeling of rejection and shame - Being something which you shouldn't be. ( Afraid of being rejected) Contemplate this. What's wrong with rejecting yourself? What's wrong with not rejecting yourself? What's wrong with rejecting other people?
  2. If you're dissapointed about solipsism it's not it. I have fallen into this trap myself. Take some rest and give yourself time to process. This is just a part of the process. Trust.
  3. I took LSD in mars and it gave me the biggest breakthrough ever. Follow your intuition - Trust in yourself. You go girl
  4. 1: Not following through on what I say. I am constantly starting projects but not finishing them. This makes people not trust me and feel unsafe sometimes. It also makes me not trust myself. 2: Not being as loving to myself and others as I and they deserve, taking things for granted - taking myself and the people I love for granted and therefore not treating them the way they deserve. ( The way I deserve) 3: Being too hard on myself and judging myself. I have a bias for truth and progression and when I see that I am not living up to my full potential, I many times am brutal with myself and others around me. I need to practice baby-stepping it and being there for myself and guiding myself in a direction with more encouragement and less judgment. 4: Not forgiving myself
  5. The only thing we need to teach kids is being, which is what they already are doing.. so instead of trying to teach kids I think we should let them teach us. We don't need to run around and understand everything. Let the kids (lovers) be free.
  6. This whole slut shaming dynamic is something that really fazinates me. I have never been judgemental of sexualy liberated girls.. atleast I haven't been aware of it but what I have noticed is the desire for my girl, to be my girl. That masculine wants to feel needed and desired and hence dislike girls who go against their preconceived notion of how they personally feel valued as a man. I think this is a a shadow element to these mens "inloyalty" to themselves that the feminine then mirrors back at the men. This sounds a lot like the thing you talked about regarding that nice guys wants to be " hoes" and that they then despice that some girls can sleep around and act on their sexual desire; while they can't. They want to reconnect with their femenine but they can't, because they don't feel loved by the femeine outside because they don't feel that the feminine is loyal, or in other words - devoted to the man. What they miss however is that this is what they feel internally aswell, for they don't surrender and devout themselves to themselves. If you slutshame others, you slutshame yourself.
  7. I don't have this problem but thank you for sharing. It can help a lot of people and change lifes.
  8. Yeah for sure.. yet we can sometimes awaken to one facet of it and miss the other one. I've experienced both as one and it is one but reality is so tricky so whatever you believe is, is. The absolute truth is that everything is relative. The ego is also absolute truth on the absolute level.. and absolute love. The ego doesn't exsist, yet we frame it as that it exsist and interpets something but it's nothing there but truth, love and conciousness which is that nothingness.
  9. @Someone here This is a counterintuitive move and may sound super weird but bare with me. Can you agree that you are on one or the other level lacking in self love? If yes - continue reading, otherwise feel free to stop reading but bare in mind that there might be something to it and thus worth atleast keeping an open mind and listen to what I have to say.. cuz I've been where you have been bro and I want to help you. If this is the case, that you lack self love.. what is the closest thing to love that you can find? What is it the thing that you're looking for? If you are anything like I was when I struggled with a weak personality you would say.. girls or feminie love from a female in whatever and all ways you want. So, if this then is the case and we just assume that the feminity that you're trying to connect to - to reach " Love" is just mirroring your need to connect to that love in your direct experience on the inside, by INtegrating it and litterly becoming one with the feminity, then what is the way to find that self love? You guessed it.. by becoming and integrating that feminity on the inside and loving yourself for who you are fully and surrendering to yourself. I usally have a saying that masculinity is femininity on steroids and there is something very true to that. If you integrate your feminity enough, that self love will turn into healthy, strong masculinity. I am not saying you have to belive me or try this approach but you asked if it's possible to build a strong personality and I am here to say - yes.. it is!!. I am a living example of it.. and the way to do it is to go full circle with your feminity so much that you love yourself so much and litterly stop giving a fuck about what others say or do because you love yourself so much. Very counterintuitive I know but it's nontheless the truth. Be careful with interpeting this the wrong way. I am not saying that you should become a spineless wimp or a nice guy.. I am saying you should integrate your feminine side and when you do that you'll love yourself, have a strong frame + you will stop supplecating to woman and being scared of what they think.. and even more so scared of being scared of what they think. I am saying that the reason why you have these problems with a weak personality is not because you have integrated your feminity.. it's because you haven't. You need to go all the way. Right now you're half asseing enlightment.. oh I mean nihilism.. oh nevermind I mean your FEMININITY. Go full circel!
  10. So is everything else yet we can have very different experiences
  11. The reason why you obsess over what girls think is because you haven't integrated your femenine side.. and by that I don't mean, oh be more femenine, more emotional, and cry and be romantic with woman. No no no no no no.. the problem is that you hate being that so much so that the woman run away from you because they see you hate them. You disown the feminine inside ( your femenine qualities), which becomes a problem because then you will disown the femenine outside aswell.. and girls want to be owned and taken as a part of the guy. Otherwise they will reject you because they will be turned of and feel unsafe because you won't show any masculinity if you can't own the feminine ( whether it is outside or inside because the one implies the other) Investigate the term anima possession and shadow work. It is the first step on your way to true healing, self love and unity with the feminine and yourself.
  12. Let her go bro, and I mean accept that she will cheat if she does and if she doesn't great. Even more so, accept that you are terrifed of her cheating, and that you might not want to let her go. And if you absolutely can't let her go to miami.. then let her go. Do you see the message here? Let go. Do whatever feels right and trust yourself.
  13. Amazing words man! Thank you. Love you infinitly bro
  14. Hello fellow brothers and sisters. I want to share with you my deepest awakening yet, into infinite and back. This weekend I was at an Ayahuasca retreat with a very clear intention. "I want to become aware and dissolve the resistance that stops me from working hard to achieve my dreams. I want to Investigate nothingness and the fear of not succeeding with anything in life. The fear of standing up for what I want to create, against the fear and my fear of reality, and that there are forces that can harm me" Prior to the trip, I hated resistance which is why I came up with this intention. What is breathtaking however is that the whole trip, looking back was not about trying to dissolve anything, but to let go of the intention and need for control. Very paradoxical indeed, very genius and beautiful I know... That¨s because that´s what you are. You are just seeing yourself, and if you haven't cached yourself, it´s because you are afraid of not catching yourself. Anyway - on to the real meat of my trip What was the set up for the trip? What was the context? The retreat was compounded of 2 trips or ceremonies and was set up to work so that we all were going to work with the 4 elements. We worked with, Ayuascha, incense, and tobacco that was inhaled through the nose ( I forgot the name of both, but for those who are interested you can look it up and find what medicines I am talking about. I will refer to them here as tobacco and incense. The ceremony was outside around a big fire) First trip: I was given the plant medicine ayahuasca and then decided to let go. I didn´t care anymore. If I die I die, I was not going to resist anything. The trip began very beautifully with a lot of love and insights into my true nature. I had been here before, through other psychedelics so I recognized everything but this time it was a bit different. I realized that if I let go everything would be alright. I had in prior trips had good experiences, yet at the same time felt forced and kind of trapped by God and myself. I had equalized God as equal to suffering, but it´s actually the opposite. More of that later. The trip Continues and it gets a little bit scary and dark, yet super fascinating. I realize I was and had been living as a big parasite, that I had been afraid of taking things - that had been afraid of itself. I saw myself and how much I hated myself.. and then I realized I hated myself because I loved myself so much and that the hate was love because the hate implied I loved myself so much I didn´t want to change. Even more so I realized that this was my relationship with the divine feminine. That I just took and took and took and saw the feminine as something to be used, rather than loved because I hated it so much that I loved it. I realized that I was so disconnected from it, that all I wanted to do was connect to it because I hated it so much. I realized how selfless femininity is - how selfless I was and that I was so selfless that I hated being selfish which in actuality was love for being selfless because hate is an extreme version of Love. You hate God, which is yourself so much that you want to be separated from it, which in reality is just self-love. Self-love is in other words hate - and hate is Love. After a while thing´s got interesting. I was given this tobacco medicine and because of that, I started to shake like crazy because of the kundalini, the fire, the shakti within me rising. Life was getting woken up and I was letting it do whatever to me. I didn´t care anymore. I experienced a full-blown ego death. This is somewhere when I literally got choked by what felt was a rope and then dragged around a bit like I was about to be eaten up by a tribal village. I lost my breath completely and I was in the meantime observing it and thinking, OMG this is so cool, this is how it feels like to be choked. I was surrendering to it because I wanted to experience it because it was just so interesting. And then I got it, that´s what I´ve been doing all the time in my life as God. Even more so I got why girls like being choked lol, it´s a fun experience because it feels like you´re gonna die but you know you will be fine ( if you trust in the person, which per definition is God, yourself). You should try it! (; Then I was being tortured a bit and I was like, bring it on. I will take on the pain and transform it to love... and the reason I thought so was that I had realized one very important thing. I was surrendering to everything, I was even letting myself do maha samadhi if that was the right call and when I let myself do that I realized I didn´t need to do it because I had it better here still and that was when I want to and the time is right I will do it. My desire is elsewhere and that´s the Love Worth mentioning is that I during both trips I took 3 " shots" of ayahuasca The thing that causes suffering is the resistance to what you want - which implies that you suffer if you make resistance to the resistance. The whole game is to wake up to the fact that you can let go of everything that doesn´t feel good, but you can only do it if you are willing to fully accept and surrender to it. You attract what you resist because you actually want the thing you are resisting, you want to see yourself. These insights had led the groundwork for trip number 2. I will share it with you now. If you´re still reading this, please don´t stop now. This is where it gets interesting. Trip 2: After the trip, I talked to my friend a lot and also another participant. I saw them both struggling, but in reality, it was me that struggled. I tried to help them and guide them to let go more and also told them. If you ever feel like you can´t take it next time, give it to me. You don´t need to take it. The only thing was that I was talking to myself. The next trip began with the tobacco being shot up my nose lol, and I literally start to die again. I was so open and willing to take on the universe. I wanted to experience pain and torture. Give it to me, I´ll take it... this whole situation makes me shake like crazy and I am getting directed to sleep on the side to make it go down a little bit because it was getting really painful. I was being learned to take care of myself. I then realized, holy shit I don´t need to take this. I can let go. The thing that I said to my friends was not to them, it was me. You don´t have to take on the burden of being infinity, of being God. I realized that I wanted peace and that I actually could get it, because why couldn´t I? I had absolute power in my experience. That´s when inner enginering, the flagship program of Sadhguru really pointed at. Anyway, I then took my first shoot of Ayuhascha, but nothing really happened the first time other than that I was getting some cool deep insights. Then we take a shot at number 2. This is when I realized what God's head is and true nothingness and I also started having communication with another God but it was kind of pointless because as soon as I did that it became me and I became it even though we were separate so I knew everything that it knew directly and it knew if the same way, even though we were separate. After this, I took my third shot and I became even more conscious, but I also realized something very deep. I realized where this was going because... it was going back to becoming a child, and the insight that lead me there was the kids that were there during the ceremony that was me and that I realized was me and mirrored me. I saw how well they were taken care of, how well I was being taken care of, and that I just needed to surrender to love, even though I was afraid. I needed to surrender to surrender to surrender and that´s when I saw that the Shaman´s wife had started giving the participants more tobacco which is when I realized, I need to trust and let go and become like I child. I needed to trust in myself and that I will catch myself, and so I did - and when I took it... I literally come home. I realize all the love that has been given me all alone, my parents - bless them, bless me, bless everyone and everything. I saw myself as infinity, as God´s child, and that I could let go of everything and everyone. That God would catch them and help them, That I would catch them and help them, that I would help myself - I simply needed to let go of even trying to help and heal them.. which then made me realize, holy fuck I don´t even need to let go of that either I can help them if I want and if that´s what´s gonna happen but I don´t need to. I was loved for exactly as I was and I couldn´t stop crying because of all the love I had all the time and how much my parents loved me - how much I loved myself. How much I loved my friends, my cats, the people around me - everything... And then as a miracle and this is where I want to end, 2 parents with a newly born baby join the circle of fire, the circle of Love and I see how I am the baby that is being taken care of, is infinitely loved and being blessed by the love in the ceremony. I was God´s child and free to be exactly who I am, I had been a newborn. I had found myself so much that I didn´t even need to be God, which by definition made me IT. Ending poem and prayer - The love I am I AM. THE KINGDOM OF GOD is within Love falling for you Don´t leave me Between right and wrong, we find ourselves - I´ll meet you there Let go, everything is OK So wake me up when it´s all over when I am wiser and I am older All this time I was finding myself and I didn´t know I was lost May we all find ourselves in our broken hearts. auuuum - en.
  15. Listen and then if you get insights write them down. You don't have to take notes on everything.. well you could but it will take a while lol. Don't overthink it
  16. Welp. The dude said that the devil is inside and then proceeds to continuing his war against wokeness authoritarianism outside of him. This is crazy. He is trying to create a common enemy that unites all the stage blue peeps from the different religions Facinating yet kinda terrifying.
  17. Of course OP is projecting. Everything is. Good job you guys, you get it. I mean I get it
  18. 2 woman = 1 man = what happens when there is so much love ( feminity) that something else creates from itself ( masculinity) Masculinity is femininity on steriods. I mean think about it, there can only be one thing. Or can it
  19. Reality is a mirror. The extremists you see outside is the extremists inside. There is nothing wromg with JP but he has gone down the deep end because of fear of not drowning, which just makes him drown in his delusions even more. I respect him highly and he has done great work, but his obsession with lesser jihad is not something that is in line with what he belives other's should do. He thinks that the world is attacking him, but he don't realize how he is attacking himself. He is not aware of his double standard. He needs to realize that he is the extremists, which is the reason why he hates extremists.
  20. JP is amazing in many aspects and I really look up to him. The fact that he views muslims in this positive light and have had Muslims on his podcast were they talk about their faith is amazing. However.. he is very deluded when it comes to his politics and unconcious toxic life purpose. He wants to unite to divide. That's the real work of the Devil JP should be concerned about but he is to unconcious to realize what he is doing.