meta_male

This story killed me. 🤣

lol

This is actually very good. You'll remember the pain next time.

Chill man, leave some women for the rest of us too. But then who's gonna flirt with you?

@Hardkill Let me ask you something: are you really interested in this topic or are you just underfucked (like me) and trying to find reasons to intellectualise your way out of the pain about your failure to stand out in the open market?

@Wilhelm44 Never said anything about financial freedom. Also, how would one just go: "Oh damn right...I got resistance to jobs, I will stop that." That's not happening in this reality. What I'm saying is: there's no need to figure out your career when you're in a state where the thought of nuking humanity feels like release. You mean well, but he doesn't need a little nudge, he needs something that FIRES him up. Something that scares the shit out of him and challenges him outside his own head. No thought, just action.

Good, let it out. Sounds like the world has been ignoring your pain for too long. I’ve been there. You're drowning in meaninglessness...so what you need is not another dry job list, it's finding something that gives your fire direction.

Noted. I might hold back just enough to keep you from melting into a puddle of cuteness and giggles 😉

You got every right to be self centered. Tbh, I think you couldn't even fake narcissism if you wanted. Who knows, maybe you could...but it would just look cute instead of vain... For real though, seems like you go through a big shift in energy and clarity, like you're standing with yourself and not just analyzing yourself. Hats off! 🫡

@Nemra Cheers, glad this resonates.

@Never_give_up This sounds a lot like classic INFP struggles. Not saying you are, but I relate deeply. The craving to be a genius, gifted, radiant...and the way your brain punishes you when you don't quite measure up to the ideal version of yourself. Constant comparison with others, endless why am I like this-thought-spiral. Wanting a life that FEELS right but never quite getting there. You're desires aren't wrong, but carrying all of them at once and letting them define your worth will crush you. You don’t need to kill your desires...I'd go as far as to say you don't even need to kill your addictions – they are a symptom, not the root of the problem. Make it more simple for your brain. Pick one or two desires that feel achievable...like drawing (DM me for this, I'm a draftsman and been drawing all my life) or getting fitter. Make your goals smaller, no need to shoot for the stars. Losing 6 kg in one to one and a half years sounds more achievable, right? Stay in motion like a mountaineer. One step at a time, slow and steady until the summit is in sight. You don’t need to figure out reality right now, the answers will come. But you need mental space to even hear them, and that space is created by doing the opposite of figuring out a paradox. Paradoxical…but this is the way

@LittoDitto You're onto something. It didn't feel like "yes, this is the right path from now on". I had to push against my habits and force my brain to just accept the suck. Cause the alternative would have been death. It wasn’t motivation....more like defiance. And after several weeks i realised I just had to keep moving. Move, move, move, it pulls you out of your head, even if it doesn't make sense in the moment.

Honestly, this whole framing feels like missionary syndrome. The second you’re worried about convincing a highly educated person that Actualized.org is rare and profound, you’ve already lost. If something’s actually rare it doesn't show in how well you present it. Most people reject stuff like this because they’ve seen enough spiritual "salesmen". Just live it – If they’re curious, they’ll ask. Actualized appeals to a very niche type of "psyche". That’s why it feels rare...not because it’s some universal hidden truth. Nothing special about it beyond that. "I'll send you a cool video that explains such and such topic". They never watch it, it's too long. Not sure how that makes you lonely though.

You die all the time, it just isn't obvious.

Also: No, of course I'm not ready to give up driving.

Exactly this. Some of the most grounded, uplifting people I’ve met didn’t care about spirituality at all. Others who called themselves "spiritual" were totally impossible to be around. Just find humans you vibe with, it's not that deep.

You let her rob you of your authority, became suicidal and several months down the line you're telling yourself there's positive sides, even though you can't really see them. Nobody should have to riddle their way through a relationship.

Leo's reply: "That’s why you should have chosen a location close to your house and bounced between venues. Now she bounced you into her basement."

Next week's topic: "She cuffed me and threw me in the trunk. Do I go for the kiss or wait?"

@Leo Gura Fair. Just depends on what you're optimizing for. @Starlight321 You’ll learn faster by risking a few awkward moments than trying to memorize every move. Good luck, man!

@Leo Gura The guy already attracted her by being himself. Overthinking it now with tactics might kill it...he was already doubting her reaching out. Sometimes pickup advice does more harm than good. @Starlight321 It doesn't matter if superman, batman or where exactly you go. I’ve had women pick me up cause I lived too far away. If she’s into it she’ll make it work.

@Starlight321 Bruh, next you'll be asking what underwear to wear. She said yes, that means lead. Pick a spot you enjoy, show up, and vibe. ✌️ (Coffee's fine but it can kill the spark...better to choose something with more tension.)

When a girl texts you, assume she wants to see you and organise the meet up.

I get where you’re coming from. I say this as someone who was that person. Pushing women away, blaming it on trauma, saying I was just doing my best. But at some point it becomes a lame excuse. Plenty of people had no guide and still figured it out because the pain of staying stuck eventually outweighed the fear of change. If you have deep trauma you don’t belong in a relationship until you’ve worked through enough of it to stop trauma dumping – or enabling it. The real problem is thinking relationships are a survival need and rushing into them before you're even remotely secure.

@SimonaMay Yeah... I feel this way too, but with women. I’ve also reached that point where I can tell within a few minutes if someone’s really present or just performing, and it’s a brutal filter. I don’t even try to force connection anymore, it either resonates fast or doesn’t. That second part could’ve been written by me. No answers either. Just doing my thing, staying sharp and shaping the kind of environment where the right "fit" might eventually step in. It sucks but the alternative – ending up with anyone just in order to settle – is way worse. @Miguel1 Funny you mention “our leader gave up on that project”, like this is some spiritual dating cult. Honestly, I've found the spiritual ones to be the absolute worst, all fancy words and zero integration. Being spiritual is in fashion, so you just get the same people in those groups as you get anywhere else.