meta_male

@Rishabh R What about anything fun?

IFS.

Talking to a hundred more girls, in my opinion, isn't what you need right now, it's just feeding your fear to miss out. What else is there besides women? Any hobbies, sports, art, anything that gets you out of your head and into a more present and calm state?

Of course lying to yourself backfires on you. If you have no respect for yourself your surroundings are going to reflect that. She could probably tell you're not being authentic, using logic will just make it worse.

Yes.

Your heart says yes, the mind says no. Fear you're not good enough is holding you back to go after what you think you deserve. This to me sounds like friends+.

Yes it's accurate.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I cancelled, no point going on a date right now.

How do you guys go about meeting up with people when you're going through a dark phase? I had a rather challenging therapy session the other day and feel depressed since but had already set up a date for this Sunday. We didn't text all week and I was hoping for her to call it off but she's still on. Appreciate your views.

@Rahul yadav This creates a push/pull dynamic and has big potential to eat away at your confidence. But see for yourself... In general it's healthy to disqualify women who aren't a good match. It's a different story when you do this for her to chase you.

@Majed I feel you. It won't last they say.

Good boy

You're right, in a way they do lure you in like a cult, but it's really more of a multi level marketing company. An actual cult controls how you spend your spare time, who you date, what you're allowed to think and feel.

That's correct. And no, I'm not absolutely open minded, I have my biases. It's good you're coming up with your own conclusions, but not accepting something to be true doesn't prevent it from existing. Lee Rigby was still butchered in broad daylight and nobody prevented it from happening. Everyone was too shocked to accept the situation and act from a different paradigm. I do have certain triggers inside me, yes. Wanna share what happened to you?

Yep, this pretty much sums up introversion. Would you want to prevent feeling exhausted after a day of hiking?

@trenton It's normal at that age, kids to this stuff all the time. I tend to think I can relate to the shame inside you due to your mom's reaction. IFS has been very effective for trauma healing for me.

@Yimpa Smart guy.

Cringe af. I only ever heard cult members say shit like this.

Try it out and see for yourself I had phases where I could listen to music all day, other times where I tolerated no music at all. If you feel it's a distraction just see what it feels like if you don't listen to any of it. It's just about becoming more aware of what it does to you and then from there you can decide how to proceed.

Maybe give them veggies...

He is probably just being a normal adult and she fantasizes about him because he's in a position of authority. Seen it happen and believe me, the guy does not feel the same way.

Same as @Miguel1 I went months without socializing and eventually had to come back. I did find a way for me to not feel lonely but it leads down a rabbit hole. I think that if you were surrounded by people who do share your values you weren't interested in unwiring the need for it, right? Also, where do you intend to stop? What about the need for sleep? Or food?

Only way to be sure is to find out yourself. Psalm 146:3

@TheEnigma jokingly serious

She will not stop the negative self-talk, it's a vicious cycle (and it's not her fault). Negative thoughts create negative environment which then again confirms negative worldview. What she needs is for someone to pull her out of this. This isn't gonna happen on this forum.