meta_male

It's not a spiritual issue, it's a boundary issue. Why are you tolerating being bossed around at your own place instead of saying: my house, my rules. You sleep over as much as you want and he can do the dishes after laundry. If he doesn't like it he can pack his bags. No need to get angry that way. Unconditional love doesn't mean letting others walk all over you...that's self-betrayal and spiritual bypassing. You can't meditate your way to peace, you simply create the rules.

So what if you got a grandma going 50 in a 120 zone? Everyone just slows down? Tailgating isn’t the real issue. The issue is most people can’t drive for shit. Driving is dangerous. We don’t need more rules or around following distance, we need better drivers. Flooding traffic with unskilled drivers just makes it worse for everyone. Stage yellow chooses the higher order solution and filters through on a motorcycle

If someone’s content and living a simple life they’re not going to obsess over the meaning of existence. So they might seem shallow to you. But people can go deep in all sorts of domains...robotics, mechanics, nutrition, sports, whatever. Existential questions aren’t inherently more valuable, they’re just your preferred area of interest. Not many are interested in these topics and I can see why lol. Look at people on this forum: half the time it’s just smart sounding words, online socialising and banter. But most of them are struggling (or have struggled) in life. Maybe you’re not lonely because people avoid deep topics, but because you're looking for others in the same trench to connect with. Thinking out loud, a recurring theme here is: I’m lonely, I’m struggling to find meaning and I’ve been through painful experiences.

@OBEler Bro rolls in like a German Leopard 2 through a flower garden.

@Fabio If I get you right you want it more like: This girl is interesting, but I’m watching to see if she can actually meet me. Journaling and meditation won’t fix that. They just give you more space to watch yourself crave a state. What you’re after isn’t abundance in women...it’s abundance in that euphoric state. Currently, you’re outsourcing it instead of creating it yourself. If you keep doing all the spiritual practises and then kiss a beautiful girl the gap between boring shit and exciting shit is too big.

@PurpleTree Still one of the most scenic Middle Eastern countries in the West. Right after Switzerland.

You feel that way cause you have no success in relationships.

She was never "yours" to lose, man. Sex doesn’t lock someone in, it just gives you a false sense of power. It was just an illusion built on the assumption that sex = attachment. I've heard this on the forum a lot...it's fantasy. That's smart. Keep doing you, that's how your energy will stay clean. Let her orbit if she wants, but you keep doing your training.

It isn't baked into their personality. Not everything needs to be shared is what an INFP needs to learn. You could tell him this straight to his face, as long as you're being warm. What's worse for him is not knowing why he repels women.

@OBEler What is shocking about it?

@LoneWonderer Btw, I do know where you're coming from and I have times I feel lonely af because I can't share my experience. Even here on the forum, nobody could ever reproduce my exact path. But honestly, I think we all communicate the same thing with different words and symbols. I connect with people over other topics. My bro is into anime, I couldn't care less. My riding buddy games when he's off the bike, I think it's boring. Some friends are into the same festivals, nothing else. One close friend is totally stuck in life but that's where he needs to be. Not everyone can and wants to go that deep into their psyche, some are simply unable to. But you can still share close bonds. In fact, you might feel less lonely if you just listen, without the urge to force your knowledge onto anyone and live your life well. That's the stuff that piques people's curiosity.

I'm sure he's got a stash he can share if I ask nicely

I'd get Eminem to do a diss track against my inner critic.

This story killed me. 🤣

lol

This is actually very good. You'll remember the pain next time.

Chill man, leave some women for the rest of us too. But then who's gonna flirt with you?

@Hardkill Let me ask you something: are you really interested in this topic or are you just underfucked (like me) and trying to find reasons to intellectualise your way out of the pain about your failure to stand out in the open market?

@Wilhelm44 Never said anything about financial freedom. Also, how would one just go: "Oh damn right...I got resistance to jobs, I will stop that." That's not happening in this reality. What I'm saying is: there's no need to figure out your career when you're in a state where the thought of nuking humanity feels like release. You mean well, but he doesn't need a little nudge, he needs something that FIRES him up. Something that scares the shit out of him and challenges him outside his own head. No thought, just action.

Good, let it out. Sounds like the world has been ignoring your pain for too long. I’ve been there. You're drowning in meaninglessness...so what you need is not another dry job list, it's finding something that gives your fire direction.

Noted. I might hold back just enough to keep you from melting into a puddle of cuteness and giggles 😉

You got every right to be self centered. Tbh, I think you couldn't even fake narcissism if you wanted. Who knows, maybe you could...but it would just look cute instead of vain... For real though, seems like you go through a big shift in energy and clarity, like you're standing with yourself and not just analyzing yourself. Hats off! 🫡

@Nemra Cheers, glad this resonates.

@Never_give_up This sounds a lot like classic INFP struggles. Not saying you are, but I relate deeply. The craving to be a genius, gifted, radiant...and the way your brain punishes you when you don't quite measure up to the ideal version of yourself. Constant comparison with others, endless why am I like this-thought-spiral. Wanting a life that FEELS right but never quite getting there. You're desires aren't wrong, but carrying all of them at once and letting them define your worth will crush you. You don’t need to kill your desires...I'd go as far as to say you don't even need to kill your addictions – they are a symptom, not the root of the problem. Make it more simple for your brain. Pick one or two desires that feel achievable...like drawing (DM me for this, I'm a draftsman and been drawing all my life) or getting fitter. Make your goals smaller, no need to shoot for the stars. Losing 6 kg in one to one and a half years sounds more achievable, right? Stay in motion like a mountaineer. One step at a time, slow and steady until the summit is in sight. You don’t need to figure out reality right now, the answers will come. But you need mental space to even hear them, and that space is created by doing the opposite of figuring out a paradox. Paradoxical…but this is the way

@LittoDitto You're onto something. It didn't feel like "yes, this is the right path from now on". I had to push against my habits and force my brain to just accept the suck. Cause the alternative would have been death. It wasn’t motivation....more like defiance. And after several weeks i realised I just had to keep moving. Move, move, move, it pulls you out of your head, even if it doesn't make sense in the moment.