meta_male

So an arranged marriage is magically going to heal your mum's "suicidal" tendencies? Be honest. Only thing she's willing to sacrifice is your life. And now you're thinking of throwing your girlfriend away for your mum. She's going to have to deal with you making your own decisions. Which one will allow you to lead a healthier and more fulfilling life down the road? One is based on love, the other on fear.

Minoxidil should help. Make sure you regularly work out too and then give it a decade.

I think it's dope. Wonder if he's doing a video on it since I'm sure most of his audience uses/has used weed at one point.

@Razard86 Hm, you're right ?

You mature enough to say no to Christmas?

@Raze Cheers, I'll check it out ? @Lila9 That's sweet. Yeah, you're right, it did give me some relief ❤️ Sometimes it takes me years before I decide to get help, but this should get the ball rolling.

My whole life I dealt with life's challenges all on my own without my parents really giving a shit about me. Every instance when I tried to express myself authentically I was mocked for my (rather quiet) personality and put down for my passions and "sinful thoughts". A lot of bible bashing too. Whatever I loved doing was wrong or not good enough. They also managed to sabotage my relationships and get me to confess to masturbation. One time my mum was screaming at me for making out with the girlfriend I had back then. She was spying on us through my room's window and stormed in like the fucking Special Forces. My parents have always been isolated and only mingled with other cult members, who used to treat me the same so it was just what was normal for me and I became extra careful not to open up too much. I was brainwashed to the point of being terrified of questioning the belief system I was raised in even though many things just didn't make sense to me. But repeatedly being told I'll end up in the most torturous hellfire imaginable for eternity if I don't follow their rules and behave as I was expected, I saw as them looking out for me. When I finally mustered up the courage to leave their community they said this means I'm not going to be part of their family anymore. I kinda expected this might happen as I saw how others who left were shunned. Still, it was pretty shocking to hear this from my own parents. I thought I could leave this all behind six years ago, but lately more and more of this BS is coming up again, just on a deeper and more intense level. On top of this I realised last year my now ex is a narcissist. Has honestly been the shittiest year by far and there's only so much more I can take to function properly. I really underestimated how much love and compassion I missed out on as a child until recently. I think what I need is just someone to validate that my experience has in fact been very abnormal, because there's this constant battle between wanting to express my frustration and thinking that maybe I'm just overreacting because most people are too egotistical to care anyways. But I need to tell my life's story to someone who's actually interested and can get me a little more motivated about life. I've just been way too quiet and understanding of other people's perspective which put me in a pretty bad place mentally. So what forms of therapy do you think are worth trying out here?

Hey Johannes Depending on your personality type this could be perfectly normal. Do you remember unimportant details more? I used to have about the same level of disinterest in the external world and didn't remember exact labels either.

@Bad_anarchist Some didn't have the luxury of growing up in an environment that allowed them to mature as fast as you have. Call yourself lucky, well done ?

Thank you all, really appreciate it ? @Tyler Robinson Yes, the family dynamic is very narcissistic. My grandma actually fought off tanks as a young adult and my mum was beaten, so I can see where it all started. Sorry to hear you experienced abuse too, it can get pretty ugly. @IDressMyDog Re-parenting work resonates. I notice myself looking for healthy role models everywhere I go. @TheGreekSeeker Never heard of it, sounds interesting. I keep in touch with them every now and again, but generally limit contact to the minimum. Talking to them about this is actually impossible, let alone in the presence of a therapist. Even if it helped me, they wouldn't approve of me talking to anyone about any of this. I'll look more into systemic psychotherapy, I think this could benefit me a lot. Another thing I was thinking is booking some Tantra sessions just to heal limiting beliefs in the sexual area. Does anybody have any experience here?

@Carl-Richard Well put ? I'll have to contemplate on this a bit, but I think the coin in my ass is going to drop soon.

@Carl-Richard I do take this as an excuse to unleash suppressed emotions onto people, if I'm being completely honest. I tell myself that if I decide to go find and slap the dude's ass, it was his own doing because he should have expected it. If this takes me to jail, so be it. But I don't see how I'm looking out for my own ass here. Other than not being dumb enough to actually act out on these thoughts.

This is how I was raised and expected to behave every single fucking day of my life because of people who never got a good taste of their own medicine! Who is going to enforce justice here? It's not like society or government cares much about the "little" things.

I know it isn't. My problem is I don't feel like it isn't (ever since having several realisations).

I'd be careful. Cults are always helpful initially...

@Carl-Richard I wouldn't feel better if I were to just talk about this to someone. It does help, but it never releases ALL the negative energy.

Why should he care about social responsibilities?

Hard to tell. Maybe post this in the mental health section?

@IAmReallyImportant As long as you don't beat yourself up about it. My best mate actually has a hard time picking up on emotions because he's in his logical thinking mode a lot more. You ever talked to someone about this? Yeah, this sounds like victim mindset. I notice this in me too from time to time. People are actually like mirrors.

You're killing me, bro ?

I know what you mean. But don't underestimate the more counterintuitive approach of not caring about balancing the odds You actually stick out more the less you're trying to control the outcome. Being a little mystical sparks her emotion more than the average guy trying his hardest to build a connection with yet another meaningless word salad.

Heard so too. My friend has dates all the time via Bumble.

@something_else There's just too many factors to take into account as to why they suddenly ghost. You also have quite a few girls on dating apps who are still in relationships. You can still build rapport first, but the goal should be to set up a date, time and place to meet and then go about your life purpose. If she's flakey about going on a date just tell her to shoot you a message if she changes her mind and send her your number. This has worked really well. Almost all of them texted me some days later.

@bloomer I am guilty of this. And I'm enjoying it more than I used to. Some millenials seem to already see other people as "NPCs" without going through an existential crisis when basically looking through the lens of solipsism.

@Danioover9000 You a beast. What's your MBTI?