meta_male

34

This is framed backwards. What you're describing as fear of loss is a consequence of having self-respect. If you're okay with walking away from someone who isn't reciprocating you don't need to instill the "fear of the Lord" in someon. Ironically, that can create the exact dynamic you're describing. Once you're thinking how to make her afraid of losing you, you've already lost.

@Miguel1 I only blocked one girl and deleted her number cause I wanted her out of my life and not be tempted to reach out for several reasons, I didn't find it necessary for the others. Every now and then, there might be a text several months later, it never really hurt to leave the door open. I do wonder what they're up to and how they've been, especially since we did share genuinely intimate and meaningful moments together. As for photos, I kept most of them cause they're attached to good memories. But I’ll admit that sometimes it does hurt to look through them. I can be quite emotional about that kind of stuff... especially, because in some way I still love them deeply. Btw, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup, mate.

I agree

Deal. Here's a pickup lemon 🍋 Sorry, I ran out of pickup limes.

Goddamn! 😭 this was so cringe I died of secondhand shame for our neighbors. This is why we keep our borders closed.

Agreed. It used to be a very respectful place with a lot of sincere and interesting people some years ago. Now some of the threads genuinely read like people have completely lost the plot. At this point it has got to be one of the cheapest places on the internet. You can tell that some of the most active users barely have any real-life interaction with other human beings.

I did speak up, I called the thread brainrot. If there’s an actual point underneath all that, make it without hiding behind shock value.

Brainrot.

I see your point. But you can talk to someone or drop a comment simply because you find them interesting. The idea that you have to constantly approach everyone is very pickup-community mindset because it's built on fear and lack. It treats human connection like a limited resource. You don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. If you are comfortable and enjoying yourself people...including women, will naturally approach you. Or at least make it very easy for you to talk to them.

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

You lose attraction because it signals a total lack of grounding. When you go that deep on a first date you just look completely disconnected from society. They aren't scared cause it's too deep for them but because it makes you look wacky and out of touch. Keep it grounded. Personally, I also lose attraction instantly when a girl brings up heavy spiritual things. You should be able to connect with someone without bringing up esoteric/spiritual topics, that stuff is very personal anyways.

I agree they’re harmful. People are more educated about cults than they are about false cult accusation cases. That’s why I think open discussion is so important.

@Leo Gura As someone who grew up in a cult, I don't think this helps your case. I understand you want respectful discussion but banning the label is going to make people who are undecided more suspicious. It would be healthier to address the concerns people raise and discuss the nuances of why Actualized could or could not be considered cult-like.

If you feel like you’re just forcing yourself into stuff you don't like, that’s probably more of a mismatch rather than what relationships are like.

You aren't really interested in them, you just want a date cause you think she's a 10/10, you put her on a pedestal and then you freeze. People will mirror this belief. Come up with a better story about yourself

Do the mature thing here. Let her go and face your own avoidance first. Right now you’re using her to distract from the work you need to do on yourself. Resolve your avoidance on your own before bringing someone else into that space.

I’m planning a solo trip in June to explore parts of the Trans Euro Trail (motorcycle dirt road network). I love lakes and mountain ranges. The plan is to ride and film during the day and then hit some bars or social spots at night. I want to meet open, friendly people and be somewhere with a good nightlife for solo travelers. I'll probably stay in hostels. People who’ve been to both countries: what would you recommend and why? Especially in terms of social vibe and meeting fun, open-minded women. Also, if anyone knows of any events, festivals or gatherings happening at end of June, I’d love to hear about them ✌️

What makes you think that? @Kid A LOL. That could turn into an interesting sidequest tho...

Appreciate the detailed reply. Never met anyone from Croatia, but had a few touchpoints with Spanish people and liked the vibe I get from the culture, so I’m kinda leaning that way. Barcelona would actually be on my route, Madrid might be a bit of a detour since I’m limited on km cause of tire life, but it's not off the table. How's the vibe in smaller cities or mountain villages, not totally quiet? I'm not really interested in pickup, more just naturally meeting people and seeing where that takes me. And if you’re around when I pass through, would be cool to hang out 👍

It all seems profund and connected. But there is zero signal. If she wanted to give you a signal you would know for sure. Instead of analyzing ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime.

@JJfromSwitzerland Welcome back ir Schwiz! What are you planning to do work-wise?

There's lots of crazy unicorns on there. But yeah, this app is trash, there's better ones.

These women don't seem to be on Tinder...