meta_male

He's under the illusion the world and masculinity need to be saved and there's such a thing as good and bad. The nice guy still buys into his mommy's narrative, the asshole doesn't care about what others think, he's smart and can see that those who call him that are those who sleep with him, can't be too bad then. He knows his value and needs not to proof it to anyone. Don't take life too seriously

Nice is where the average guy starts his journey. OP is frustrated about dating coaches who brainwash guys on the other end of the spectrum.

A nice guy can't be a well rounded human being. Most young guys here will not land a high value woman with their current mental state anyway, what's more important for them is working on integrating their shadow and getting laid. Shadow work isn't nice, but it puts you in a better position to sleep with girls while still working out who you are and what you want. This is way more important to a man than caring about being nice. It gets him more of the results he actually cares about without worrying about what women say a man should be like.

@Schizophonia Thou shalt not stereotype.

Noticed this with Spanish girls the most compared to the rest of 1st world countries.

This is the perfect example of how you're creating a story about yourself that has nothing to do with reality, you're expecting people not to respect you because you know you have no respect for yourself. I recommend you look into IFS therapy and find out where you're limiting beliefs come from.

@Wisebaxter I'd make it a personal thing you do for yourself, as in me time and focus on spending quality time with women and people in general if you care about conscious relationships. This will get you out there more.

@Wisebaxter They do exist of course. I dated a girl I smoked with here and there. The girls of two of my friends smoke regularly. My ex gf's sister and her bf were a gamer couple. And met plenty other girls who smoke (and are into gaming) too. Yes, this would be more fulfilling.

@Schizophonia Explain?

@inFlow And of course there's always the psychopathic kid at school who can't get enough of these videos and needs you to see it. Wise man, it took me way longer to notice.

This. There's just something fishy about someone offering help when all they know is how to be nice. No human being is inherently nice, it gives off a manipulative, inauthentic impression.

But you taught me not to believe anything online 🥺 I get your point, still there are benefits...it just doesn't sound pretty. It's a sensitive subject and can rob people of their sense of security.

That's kinda naive (no offence).

Not that I'm aware of.

I wouldn't go out of my way to watch them, but the ones I came across were beneficial for my understanding of reality. They can really rot your mind though and are definitely an unhealthy way to deal with anxiety.

Unfortunately, the so called nice guy has no gifts anyone is interested in.

@Asia P I did go through something very similar, it's called the dark night of the soul in some circles (but has no special meaning). It took me a very long time to get out of it. Best you can do is be patient with yourself. Leo's advice is important in order to not get stuck and totally isolated, you'll learn to appreciate people again. Make sure to stay on the move, go on walks, to the forest, lakes, this will keep you going.

I used to get so nervous before calls all that came out was word salad. Like with any fear, the more you face it, the smaller it gets. Don't even try to send them an email. In fact, make calls whenever you get the opportunity. lol

@NoSelfSelf You know I do

💙

Except - without feeling bad - you can shit your pants now. I'm speaking for a friend.

@NoSelfSelf His post was refreshing to read in this section among all the game talk.

That's just the best I can describe my emotional block with when in love, something's holding me back to fully show her my emotions. But I've learnt that girls appreciate it. Rather than pickup I think a more conscious tool to "get laid" would be IFS. Of course one needs infinite patience with themselves here but getting laid will be an inevitable symptom of growing yourself. Great to hear. It took me ages to let go more and learn to simply enjoy my time with women, without the need to pick them up or worry about game. You can't manipulate anyone into getting attracted to you - it's going to happen naturally, and I found the best position for me to be in is when I have fun with whomever's around

Nice man, I'm with you here. After my last relationship I was under the illusion I needed to do pickup in order to grow myself, as if it was the highest way. Glad I never got into it, it would have taken me ages to untangle my mind from all the brainwashing, it's already hard work freeing myself from general manosphere ideology. I've actually noticed this too. Being in love hurts me physically, but it feels more like an imminent implosion.

Nothing that's being perceived is conscious, not even your body is conscious. YOU are conscious of your body's appearance, your thoughts, emotions, senses, other people.