Breakingthewall

Well, she can publish here because she wants to understand or solve something that happens to her. but that is the symptom, not the disease. the disease is deeper, in the core of the personality. don't underestimate the ego's ability to deceive itself, to avoid dealing with pain, in the form of shame, of trauma. the ego at the time could not handle something, but you had to continue living. uses survival strategies and covers parts of himself. Years go by and although now you could face that, it remains covered. mushrooms disintegrate the ego. they take it apart into pieces, and that sort of thing comes out. If you think that just by wanting it, with your will, you are going to discover the core of the ego... well, either you are wrong or you are a special case. the ego is cunning, it hides things from itself. revealing them all is hard work. And when you thought you had done it, you see that you haven't. I think you can only say that you have cleared it up when at last the ego sees through itself, when the limits really dissolve.

I would say that social anxiety is the fear of showing yourself. It usually happens when you do not show your true face, for fear of rejection, but you are not aware of it. it is not something that is done consciously, so letting it be done is not a matter of making a decision, but of going little by little. you have to understand the core of fear. mushrooms can help. is something that is probably under many layers

I wouldn't say that. It is a question of quality, not quantity. the narcissist processes in another way. he is not selfish in the sense of survival, of having a big ego that wants everything for himself, but he has two egos. an embryonic ego that has stopped its development in childhood, and is terrified not to die but to show itself, and this ego feeds another false ego which it adorns with all sorts of worldly attributes and shows to the world. The narcissistic is a real artist of the performance. I saw my father die, he had a 14-hour agony of suffocation. I perceived with absolute clarity that even at that moment he was performing for the public. Only in the last seconds did the real one appear. the strength required to do that is enormous. admirable in a way. Pity he couldn't use it in a better way. Was a smart man, powerful in his way. Maybe in next life

@Blackhawk @snowyowl well, i talked only from my experience. perhaps there are other nuances and I am speaking with too much certainty about a topic that is broader. For me the fear to open up can come from your parents. It is not necessary that there has been an obvious abuse, you may have perceived their insecurity about yourself and themselves and you have internalized it, and now your core has that fragility that you should be otherwise, there is something wrong with you. as you are an honest guy, and able to admit your reality, you don't make mean strategies and vampirize others, but there are people who can't handle it and create a vampire character and become true narcissists

Well i talk for myself and my experience, and for me social anxiety is narcissism. Why are you anxious? Why you can't show yourself exactly as you are? Narcissism. Maybe induced by others, like always, all narcissistic have been created by others narcissistic, like the vampires, but at the end, who is hidden, pretending, projecting, is yourself, and only yourself can stop to do it. Of course I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm saying it's a solution, but before you must take the responsibility. It's not like narcissistic disorder, when you make a fake character very self confident that feeds of the others, it's another way to be, but at the end the same root. Both of them are humans, and they do the best that they could in a given moment, but it's possible to go beyond

True. And you know why it's so hard to see when you're inside?. because, linking to the other thread, it is a form of narcissism. and the narcissist is spellbound. He can't see

nothing matters at all. only dreams. just smile and enjoy the moment. freedom without limits

people who do what you say will only succeed in substituting one ego for another, and also ridiculous and pedantic. people who really want to go beyond their ego is because they have realized that something is wrong , little by little they are seeing that they have deceived themselves, limited themselves, and they want to be free. the more aware they become of the prison, the more will there is to free themselves, until they give everything, sacrifice any attachments, since they are false, and truly free themselves.

Yah man because you don't want to stop. Your choice. When you stop to think about the things that are supposedly wrong in your life, and you really make the decision to stop beating yourself up, the evolution will be fast. I know you think it's idiotic, but your whole movie of suffering has zero reality. I was torturing myself 24/7 2 or 3 years ago. I know exactly how it works. You are programmed for that . Revert the programming is not easy at all, but totally possible. You just have to understand

@Blackhawk make a question to yourself: i want to be free, or i prefer to torture myself? If the answer is b (as it is) ask yourself: why? To detache yourself from the self torture is possible, but first you have to really want to. If you don't want, no one is going to do for you

Narcissistic have not empathy for others and the world. Pretending that is one more facet of his character. what happens is that they themselves believe that they have great empathy for the misfortunes of the world. They can even cry, help the poors and be holy missionaries like Teresa of Calcuta, and they themselves think they are saints, but everything is focused on their character. their capacity for self-deception is masterful, it seems incredible that they don't have moments to think: how can I be such a faker? but they don't think so because their wounded little/huge ego absorbs all their attention. If you had your foot smashed with a hammer, everything would revolve around that foot. I wouldn't care about the rest, you just want that foot to stop hurting. You could have some moments of real emphaty, but you the pain absorb everything. All is related to themselves. that happens to narcissists 24/7/365. they are cursed. And they don't know that they are narcissistic. They only wants that that ego stops hurting, and for that they need you

Of course, thoughts of violence, revenge, guilt, fear, are symptoms of being attached, and an attached mind is impure. a pure mind is zero attachment, just present. but the 99, several 9 more % of the minds, are impure minds, so don't feel bad

Absolutely. You understand the narcissism very deeply. I spent my teenage years trying to be a narcissist. I can tell that this leads to levels of suffering and isolation that are no joke. I realized it, and it took time to stop hating. all the hatred that was in me was exactly proportional to the narcissism that was in me. now I think of my father with sympathy, pity, really. At the time, this would have seemed completely impossible. the twist of my mind to achieve it was beyond what I could see. I had to give up narcissism. it is not something that can be explained or understood in words. It's a very strange twist of yourself, of the reality

Yeah tu si bi , Colombian accent trying to say 2cb, but it's not 2cb, is a substance created for a german if i remember well around the 90s. Years ago in my country they tried to introduce it as a party drug, but where is mdma...

I focus on the fact that right now, at this very moment , this is infinity seeming finite. that all this reality that seems obvious and solid is tenuous, and that everything I think I am attached to is absolutely nothing, a dream about to fade that could dissapear in this exactly moment. It doesn't matter whether i do something or not, whether i think or not, just feel the moment

@RMQualtrough difficult, no doubt. but even so, I would continue fighting every day. you can reach a level that you don't even suspect, the mind is malleable. you can do therapy, psychedelics that are not changa as you always say, combine therapy with psychedelics, anything. What do you say about your grandfather... and when your grandfather is not here, what? unwanted loneliness sucks, and in your case it's obvious that it's your barriers that trap you in loneliness. Fight and make them weaker, 100% sure you can open yourself to human love

Big mistake . realize that the thing is encysted in your mind and eats you from the inside like a worm. you can't let pass single one. for one you let pass, you will get two, or more. are patterns, karma. It's a serious thing, causes social anxiety, etc. Be assertive is very important Avoid the conflict is a mistake, in case of doubt, always is better to regret because you went too far that for the opposite

from what you say you have big social anxiety. having people around makes you sick. there is a problem there. This is not going to make your life more pleasant, it is obvious. Having some human that you really love and accept and who loves and accepts you makes life a lot less miserable. beware of depression, humans are social by nature, life could turn very dark. It is true that most people are very stupid and quite false, it is not easy to establish a real relationship. there are a thousand traps, the first ones of our own mind. but do you have something better to do than go deeper and try to solve the maze? I do not

@SQAAD well, in conan's time they cut your balls off, made you a slave and sold your wife and kids to a brothel. That was disrespect. Today we have it easy with a little assertiveness. if you tell that lady: what a poor service, let's see if you learns to treat customers...and that's it, you'll be happy. Another thing is if you are in a Nigerian prison and you have to be respected there... that can be very difficult. but in normal western life it's easy, just say what you think. it is rare that no one tries to kill you, although some conflict can always occur. The good thing is that when you get used to setting limits, people perceive it and treat you with respect. if you are not able to do it, they also perceive it and treat you badly. The solution: set limits, maybe exaggeratedly at first, that it even causes you remorse for so much that you have said, but do not miss the opportunity to do it, you will establish a pattern and with time it will no longer be necessary

Why do you think that since prehistory, in all cultures and tribes, if someone felt disrespected, they fought? I don't think it was for the pleasure of seeing a guy in front of you with a knife trying to cut your guts out. when you feel that you are not being given the respect you deserve, you feel that energy is being stolen from you. you feel that in the litter of mammals you are left aside, behind. that in the cave you are separated from the fire. cold, hunger, death. acceptance is warmth and life, rejection cold and death. So it's in our genes. you can go beyond this, but it is very difficult

@iboughtleosbooklist forget about all that. the self that is afraid of suffering will disappear. the future sufferings that concern you are not in the future, it is happening, it has already happened, it will happen, it is the same. they won't happen to you. for example, if tomorrow they torture me, will you notice something? you as a totality, but suffering doesn't matter to god. who care is you, and you will disappear, because you are a dream

You are. Agree? An experience is happening, apparently. You can't denying that. The self who thinks he is the center of the experience is illusory, ok but what is that experience? Is it nothing? Something? Where is the difference? It just is. How is this possible? If really there is nothing. Void without limits. But apparently many things are happening. Why? Because you are. You are the experience. But going deeper, you just are, even without experience. You can't stop be, simply because you are. And be is love. it's a synonym. all that is is love, because otherwise it would not be. and there is only what is. There is only being without limits, love without limits. It is what we are, you and me, since there can be no limits. who would limit? What? A limit is something. then, this being without limits that you are, that is love without limits, and that is one, and is everything that exists, simply because it has no limits, what is it? the totality, the being, unlimited love, aka god. so it can be said that you are god

Yeah . the thing is not to know the truth, but to perceive it every moment. The truth is you, and you have no limits, so it's me. there is only one, us. the question is: do you perceive infinity, or do you perceive limits? If the answer is b, you are deceived. those limits are false, they are not real. you must break them if you want to see/be the truth. and yes, you need balls to do it. but on the other hand, not to do so is total madness and total stupidity. keep hitting, in the end they break

ideas are the brain's tool to influence the physical world and increase the chances of survival. a plant has no ideas. It grows and adapts. but a lion has ideas: he visualizes, foresees, organizes, to achieve his goal in a totally changing environment. a human takes that capacity and adds language to it, that is, transfer of ideas, put processors to work in series, and from there to splitting the atom and understanding the big bang. ideas are mental representations of reality to make calculations about how that reality will be in the future in order to take advantage of the circumstance. hunt the zebra or colonize galaxies

Break your attachments. They keep us low