Breakingthewall

I'm not depressed at all and hardly ever have been. mine has been more compulsion, projecting forward, donkey with carrot, etc. now it is easy for me to stick to the present, dissolve the barriers and feel the moment, so my life is mostly happy, but even so, life is more beautiful with true selfless human love, and it is something that is very difficult to find, to give, Because mostly of people are too stupid, too closed. But we shouldn't give up

you've done lots of psychedelic trips with the intention of going deeper and nothing...have you ever tried 5 meo? I'm not saying it's going to help you, but in a case like this I'd try everything. It is something very limiting, and it must have a cause, a root. perhaps the dissolution that causes 5 meo gives you some clue

to say that the ego does not exist is not correct. you can realize infinity, but the ego will come back. It is like saying: your body does not exist, there is only infinity. the ego are solid patterns, the same as the body. ultimately everything is an idea of infinity, but it exists as such.

Today I woke up in the night and remembered this conversation. I thought: it would be normal for all people to be in the emotional state of the guy of the thread. human love is rare, false, an empty hope more than anything else. people are alone mentally enslaving each other. everyone is looking for love, some in the family, others in money, sex, success, drugs. all the while fleeing loneliness only to find falsehood. a trap. true human love exists but most people are not capable of it. for this we have to flatten the ego, and the tendency is the opposite. in interactions with others you basically find falsehood, selfishness and emptiness. but everyone seems so happy and active, all donkeys chasing the carrot. The only way is to deepen.

the ego are limits, and they are real. It is as if you put limits on a river, for example, then remove them, and say: they were not real, they were an illusion. yes, but when they were there they worked very well as limits. the limited self has some characteristics, since these psychological barriers that exist to promote survival are real. the limited self can realize that it is a trap for itself, since its survival tools work against it when survival is guaranteed. and also realizes that his search for happiness, for love, will never be realized. is the carrot in front of the donkey. when he realizes that his nature is deception, the promise of something that will never happen, he tries to dissolve himself. it is a difficult matter since the act of trying makes it there. but through understanding and some chemical aids he manages to relax to a certain extent, or almost totally, and realize the limitless nature of reality, of himself. since the ego is reality in the end, only parceled out, limited. and realizing that there are no limits, it is obvious that it is all that there is, was and will be, all is the same, and that when you mix all the colors, the one that remains is pure love, which translates into creative passion: god

@Pure Imagination since when has this been happening to you? Do you remember a time in your life when it didn't happen? with your husband it doesn't happen to you, right? and it is also socializing at the end. what is the difference?

It isn't wrong because it is not the real dark side. The real darkness is fear. Passion is creation, divinity, love. Light

Well, she can publish here because she wants to understand or solve something that happens to her. but that is the symptom, not the disease. the disease is deeper, in the core of the personality. don't underestimate the ego's ability to deceive itself, to avoid dealing with pain, in the form of shame, of trauma. the ego at the time could not handle something, but you had to continue living. uses survival strategies and covers parts of himself. Years go by and although now you could face that, it remains covered. mushrooms disintegrate the ego. they take it apart into pieces, and that sort of thing comes out. If you think that just by wanting it, with your will, you are going to discover the core of the ego... well, either you are wrong or you are a special case. the ego is cunning, it hides things from itself. revealing them all is hard work. And when you thought you had done it, you see that you haven't. I think you can only say that you have cleared it up when at last the ego sees through itself, when the limits really dissolve.

I would say that social anxiety is the fear of showing yourself. It usually happens when you do not show your true face, for fear of rejection, but you are not aware of it. it is not something that is done consciously, so letting it be done is not a matter of making a decision, but of going little by little. you have to understand the core of fear. mushrooms can help. is something that is probably under many layers

I wouldn't say that. It is a question of quality, not quantity. the narcissist processes in another way. he is not selfish in the sense of survival, of having a big ego that wants everything for himself, but he has two egos. an embryonic ego that has stopped its development in childhood, and is terrified not to die but to show itself, and this ego feeds another false ego which it adorns with all sorts of worldly attributes and shows to the world. The narcissistic is a real artist of the performance. I saw my father die, he had a 14-hour agony of suffocation. I perceived with absolute clarity that even at that moment he was performing for the public. Only in the last seconds did the real one appear. the strength required to do that is enormous. admirable in a way. Pity he couldn't use it in a better way. Was a smart man, powerful in his way. Maybe in next life

@Blackhawk @snowyowl well, i talked only from my experience. perhaps there are other nuances and I am speaking with too much certainty about a topic that is broader. For me the fear to open up can come from your parents. It is not necessary that there has been an obvious abuse, you may have perceived their insecurity about yourself and themselves and you have internalized it, and now your core has that fragility that you should be otherwise, there is something wrong with you. as you are an honest guy, and able to admit your reality, you don't make mean strategies and vampirize others, but there are people who can't handle it and create a vampire character and become true narcissists

Well i talk for myself and my experience, and for me social anxiety is narcissism. Why are you anxious? Why you can't show yourself exactly as you are? Narcissism. Maybe induced by others, like always, all narcissistic have been created by others narcissistic, like the vampires, but at the end, who is hidden, pretending, projecting, is yourself, and only yourself can stop to do it. Of course I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm saying it's a solution, but before you must take the responsibility. It's not like narcissistic disorder, when you make a fake character very self confident that feeds of the others, it's another way to be, but at the end the same root. Both of them are humans, and they do the best that they could in a given moment, but it's possible to go beyond

True. And you know why it's so hard to see when you're inside?. because, linking to the other thread, it is a form of narcissism. and the narcissist is spellbound. He can't see

nothing matters at all. only dreams. just smile and enjoy the moment. freedom without limits

people who do what you say will only succeed in substituting one ego for another, and also ridiculous and pedantic. people who really want to go beyond their ego is because they have realized that something is wrong , little by little they are seeing that they have deceived themselves, limited themselves, and they want to be free. the more aware they become of the prison, the more will there is to free themselves, until they give everything, sacrifice any attachments, since they are false, and truly free themselves.

Yah man because you don't want to stop. Your choice. When you stop to think about the things that are supposedly wrong in your life, and you really make the decision to stop beating yourself up, the evolution will be fast. I know you think it's idiotic, but your whole movie of suffering has zero reality. I was torturing myself 24/7 2 or 3 years ago. I know exactly how it works. You are programmed for that . Revert the programming is not easy at all, but totally possible. You just have to understand

@Blackhawk make a question to yourself: i want to be free, or i prefer to torture myself? If the answer is b (as it is) ask yourself: why? To detache yourself from the self torture is possible, but first you have to really want to. If you don't want, no one is going to do for you

Narcissistic have not empathy for others and the world. Pretending that is one more facet of his character. what happens is that they themselves believe that they have great empathy for the misfortunes of the world. They can even cry, help the poors and be holy missionaries like Teresa of Calcuta, and they themselves think they are saints, but everything is focused on their character. their capacity for self-deception is masterful, it seems incredible that they don't have moments to think: how can I be such a faker? but they don't think so because their wounded little/huge ego absorbs all their attention. If you had your foot smashed with a hammer, everything would revolve around that foot. I wouldn't care about the rest, you just want that foot to stop hurting. You could have some moments of real emphaty, but you the pain absorb everything. All is related to themselves. that happens to narcissists 24/7/365. they are cursed. And they don't know that they are narcissistic. They only wants that that ego stops hurting, and for that they need you

Of course, thoughts of violence, revenge, guilt, fear, are symptoms of being attached, and an attached mind is impure. a pure mind is zero attachment, just present. but the 99, several 9 more % of the minds, are impure minds, so don't feel bad

Absolutely. You understand the narcissism very deeply. I spent my teenage years trying to be a narcissist. I can tell that this leads to levels of suffering and isolation that are no joke. I realized it, and it took time to stop hating. all the hatred that was in me was exactly proportional to the narcissism that was in me. now I think of my father with sympathy, pity, really. At the time, this would have seemed completely impossible. the twist of my mind to achieve it was beyond what I could see. I had to give up narcissism. it is not something that can be explained or understood in words. It's a very strange twist of yourself, of the reality

Yeah tu si bi , Colombian accent trying to say 2cb, but it's not 2cb, is a substance created for a german if i remember well around the 90s. Years ago in my country they tried to introduce it as a party drug, but where is mdma...

I focus on the fact that right now, at this very moment , this is infinity seeming finite. that all this reality that seems obvious and solid is tenuous, and that everything I think I am attached to is absolutely nothing, a dream about to fade that could dissapear in this exactly moment. It doesn't matter whether i do something or not, whether i think or not, just feel the moment

@RMQualtrough difficult, no doubt. but even so, I would continue fighting every day. you can reach a level that you don't even suspect, the mind is malleable. you can do therapy, psychedelics that are not changa as you always say, combine therapy with psychedelics, anything. What do you say about your grandfather... and when your grandfather is not here, what? unwanted loneliness sucks, and in your case it's obvious that it's your barriers that trap you in loneliness. Fight and make them weaker, 100% sure you can open yourself to human love

Big mistake . realize that the thing is encysted in your mind and eats you from the inside like a worm. you can't let pass single one. for one you let pass, you will get two, or more. are patterns, karma. It's a serious thing, causes social anxiety, etc. Be assertive is very important Avoid the conflict is a mistake, in case of doubt, always is better to regret because you went too far that for the opposite

from what you say you have big social anxiety. having people around makes you sick. there is a problem there. This is not going to make your life more pleasant, it is obvious. Having some human that you really love and accept and who loves and accepts you makes life a lot less miserable. beware of depression, humans are social by nature, life could turn very dark. It is true that most people are very stupid and quite false, it is not easy to establish a real relationship. there are a thousand traps, the first ones of our own mind. but do you have something better to do than go deeper and try to solve the maze? I do not