Breakingthewall

That is not far from my experience. the total absence of everything. There no sensory input, no mind, just limitlessness and absolutely nothing. It's something you have to face until you can bear it i guess. I can access that at will with 5 meo, I think I'll do it more often.

Its not terror, it's horror, is different. you can be calm and fearless in the middle of horror but it is still horror. The horror is the total absence of love.

It's not so simple imo. you can understand that you are the direct experience but still remain limited. drugs break those limits. The limits are duality, created by fear. the limits make your energy flow bounce towards yourself. I guess you can break this bubble without drugs, but drugs help a lot to understand what are you doing, what reality is. And there is more to understand. You are real experience, ok, but what you really are? What that experience is? You need to go deep in the experience to see. The experience itself veils it's nature

Totally egoless. The reality is just absolute emptiness, and the emptiness is absolute horror. The essence of reality is death. There is not observer, just death without end. I think that if i solve that enigma, i will have taken a huge step for what this moment, this actual existence, has prepared me for.

The pain in nothing, it's just life. But the horror is something very different. It's like an abyss. You can't break in, because it has not end. It's infinite. It's horrible ?. The first time I came out on the other side it was like this: I took 5 meo, a high dose, and the reality was infinite horror. I got up clutching my head, pacing around the room. a bottomless pit of horror, like a horror gong rumbling into existence. I thought, well, this is what I had to see today. and then I thought: no, I break the limits. that is my essence. I put a very high dose into the pipe without weight it and thought, show me the truth or kill me. immerse me in eternal horror. I surrender to it, and it happened. I. existence. absolute. God.

I already know how the game finish. when I have traversed that seemingly bottomless ocean of horror, the absolute has manifested itself. Hallelujah. the existence that flows from the infinite abyss and links with itself in a dance of love. The glass have been filled. but how to understand that and at the same time the absolute horror? It's not absolute I guess, but it looks like it. There is the Enigma that i have to solve. I know i will , I'm quite close. I don't mean the trauma with my father, that's nothing to me. I mean the horror of existence that has opened up in me as a result of that experience. it is something mystical . god wants to explore absolute horror. so nice. Solution: the absolute horror is absolute love. That is the Enigma that i ve to solve, to understand. Seems impossible, as all the Enigmas

For me there is something very difficult and strange. my father. my father was a pit of horror. My father underwent surgery for throat cancer at the age of 39 and smoked 80 real cigarettes a day, had gin for breakfast, he completely seduced me, my mission in life was to idolize that being. He made me shower with him when I was 10 years old to insult me, make fun of my body. The most hated being was my mother. My mother was from another country, I was raised to hate that country. I watched my father suffocate for 24 hours in horror. When he died, in that exactly moment, I looked into his eyes, and I saw ridiculousness. stupidity, and I had a fit of laughter. I pretend to cry because there were people close. Sometimes, when i do 5meo, i became my father, and it's a pit of horror and i can't understand it. It's the absolute horror. Then i have to do 5 meo again and surrender myself to the horror and go to the other side. It's very difficult, really challenging. The last 2 times i had no balls to immerse myself again in the horror and i couldn't get out in the other side. The Game. Let's Play.

Well, for me was god realization. I don't know what it is for you or for Leo o for anyone the God Realization. for me it was two different (both on psychedelic): one, reality opens and manifests itself as a fire of absolute love, absolute will, absolute power. absolute life. whole existence. the small part of me that remains is bathed in tears and humility. that fire can make me ashes and when everything returns to normal, there is the absolute beauty of everything and a certain relief of not being burned. the time it was quiet is: I am total existence, I rest in the perfect joy of eternity. inside of me is everything. all the love possible, all you could want, is here, now. I am, I am free. it is perfect. is this god realization? it is a realization of the absolute that is existence, but now I have another realization: I am sitting in a park writing on the phone. what is the difference? only the opening, the rupture of the capsule created by survival, but here and now there are also those other experiences, all the infinite love is always here and now. there is nothing more than this, this moment, there are only levels of perception.

I have had awakenings to God, 3 times, brief, and I have thought the same thing than you, but later I realized that God was another direct experience, another state. God is nothing more than a toothache, the two things are existence. I still don't understand it well, and God's awakenings have been brief because it had a terrifying quality, that my surrender and humility were not enough, except once that was calm and perfect. At that moment I thought: it's true, there is another category of being, God is the highest category. but then I realized that god and the actual experience now were the same, this, now. existence existing. Direct experience.

Of course, real understanding is free from concepts Beautiful

Ok, i don't feel superior to anyone neither, just that I am obsessed with seeing and understanding the Deception and i don't see in almost anyone the will to do that and it's frustrating. I see in others over all the need to consider themselves already awake. I think in the past i had the same behavior. But ok, as you said, maybe it's sterile to argue, so sorry for the message

The whole thing we're in is a game of confusion. reality is configured in such a way that it is impossible not to be confused. the basic confusion is the distinction between you and what is not you. the effect of falling into that confusion is encapsulation. your friend is encapsulated, like everyone else. each one manifests its encapsulation in a different way, but they all have something in common: an annoying, anxious feeling that something is wrong, constant, that never stops. How do you solve the confusion? with understanding. about what? of everything, that is to say, of this exact moment, which is the absolute and is reality. How to do this, so difficult, since everything is configured to create an insurmountable confusion? rising to see the full picture from above causing the capsule to break and you realize what this really is, what you really are, that cause an energetic change: the flow without a capsule that bounces your energy back to yourself . Observation, deconstruction of every idea, and drugs that bend the mind at Impossible angles, until de capsule get broken as often as it's possible

The only intelligence that exists is the intelligence of reality. reality creates a framework in which duality, separation, is inevitable. if you are a rat, you have cats around to make you aware of the separation, if you are a human it is more complicated. there are no cats but you are not an individual, you are an atom in a hive and your mind is a subsidiary program of another that is the collective ego. your fear is not of lions but of not being accepted and loved, since your survival depends entirely on others. everything is illusion, but tell that to the mouse while the cat chases it. The ego is the reality, or god if you prefer, immerse in a kind of game created by itself. The goal? Dancing.

I didn't read, i checked the site time ago and i found an official communication from the us, but now it seems it's working again, but maybe just the site, not the factory.

I read the new, but yesterday after to write the post i search and i didn't find. I will check again

man, one last thing. Do you see the aggressive condescendence in this message? Observe and realize. Why? because you feel threatened. I see clearly through you. I see your attachment to stories, your inability to let go. your need to "have arrived". friend, open up to the present. it is infinite and it is god. hallelujah, wonder and beauty. but first you have to drop all that ballast. And first you have to realize that you have all this ballast. So, you have to UNDERSTAND what the fuck is this.

the ego is survival. Survival creates duality, as there are agents outside of you that threaten it. This causes a capsule to be created that divides. you, inside the capsule, and what is not you outside the capsule. the cement of duality is fear, which keeps you inside the capsule. everything is an illusion, since your survival is not really threatened, but it really seems so, that's why you have to be extremely smart to twist the whole situation and realize how things really are. spirituality is nothing special, it is the real understanding of what reality is to have a clear vision, an infinite vision

This doesn't sound asshole, sounds very reasonable

There is only one thing

This is not god in one side and this moment in another being enabled by him. This is god, but it's hidden to himself in himself. A difficult trick. to think that there are several things is to go into deep sleep. in fact, the dream works because it seems that there are several things. there is only one, and it is exactly this, this moment. We have to penetrate it and get out of the illusion

capital or not, is the only thing that exist. the work is to break the separation between you and the now, open yourself up to it and thus allow the now to open up and reveal what it is

No, you are this moment. And yes, this moment is a dance of love

How do you know? How was your experience? I'm sure that there is not before, there is just this eternal moment. You will never get out of this moment, in all eternity. Fortunately, this moment is infinite in depth.

Not two. Try to understand what this moment is, not to look anything outside it. Outside don't exist.