Gesundheit

Why does anything exist? (I don't know) Alternative answer: Placebo for any lacks you have within your psyche.

Everyone is literally stuck wherever they are, and there's absolutely no way out of right here and now, except in another here and now somewhere in the future. The notion of helping others and getting help is completely destroyed. When things happen, they happen. Even to take responsibility is not something you can make it happen. You can't create responsibility. It has to exist within you first for it to manifest in your life and make a difference. Responsibility is ultimately just fear. If you're fearless, you couldn't be responsible. And now this, what I'm doing here is none of my choice or control, maybe as a human. But as the designer of this mystery, it might be all of my choice and under my control. Then again, maybe that's just narcissism on my part. Regardless, I'm still just a human doing its human things thinking about things that can not be known except in belief.

Maybe because you're projecting?

Is it a negative view that you have or just a lack of libido? If it's just the perspective you have currently, then it's easy to solve. If you actually lack the desire, then it's really hard to know why. It could be something organic in your body or in your brain chemistry/psyche. And this you gotta check up with a specialist.

Or maybe that it's not true?

The problem is that you're not resolving the nihilism problem entirely by taking direct experience as absolute truth. If direct experience is absolute truth, then you have the problem of solipsism. And by you here I mean me, because in direct experience you don't exist as a person. Only me.

No, not me. I believe that reality is a simulation of some kind. Awake people believe it's not.

I don't think vulnerability and attachment are related to each other. You can be vulnerable but detached, and you can be closed-off but needy. These two factors seem totally unrelated in my experience. Maybe the answer is that it's not about how vulnerable you can be in a relationship, and it is better to be vulnerable than closed-off because relationships are built on trust and trust comes from vulnerability. Maybe the answer is that you should work on the attachment problem. Generally speaking, attachment and obsessions are coping mechanisms that result from lack. If there's abundance, it's nearly impossible to develop these conditions. Now abundance can be a little bit tricky because there may be abundance in reality but scarcity in the mind, in which case there will be attachment. Like someone who has billions of dollars and still fears poverty. That's scenario #1. Scenario #2 is lack of abundance in reality. Like a poor person who has very little money to live on, so he would have to be very strict about the way he spends it, which would make him develop scarcity mindset because he is in fact in scarcity. And scarcity mindset is nothing but attachment to money, but in case of poverty it's kinda justified I guess, or maybe not, I'm not sure. But anyway, if we want to be practical, the best way to treat scarcity would be by becoming rich. In which case you would have to develop abundance both in your mind and your reality. To develop an abundant mind, you have to develop more authenticity and self-love. To develop an abundant life, you have to work at it by going out and meeting people and getting rejected and accepting the rejection and becoming a more compatible person etc...

They already have an answer to this question; the map is not the territory.

I've experienced this earlier today, here's what I wrote about it in my journal: "I also started shifting from thinking to being. I had experienced much deeper levels of connection with source in the past than now it pales in comparison, but still it's good progress. Now I started seeing with my eyes again! It's as though I was blind of some sorts. And now it's like I broke out of the control of thoughts. They don't affect me like they used to do." Although I think the term derealization refers to the feeling of wonder regardless of real/unreal duality. It's the detachment component that is the essence of the experience. Not really sure about that though.

Derealization disorder, in case you want the materialist perspective.

You're all (including Sadhguru) overestimating spirituality like it's the ultimate truth. But there is a higher force that governs spirituality and its relationship with evolution. This higher force does not care about anything. Maybe Sadhguru is more connected to that force than Leo. Maybe it's the other way around Idk. What it logically looks like is that psychedelics should be the future, but who knows? Really. If you think about it, it does make sense on some level that what Sadhguru is saying can be true. I don't see why it can't. I guess it's just too complicated for me to understand.

And then he will take 5-MeO-DMT and vanish lol

Living is a thing of the ego. Anything is ego. Coolness is a modern hierarchical concept that people use to rank each other in classes within any given hierarchy. I have strong reasons to believe that coolness wasn't even a thing before cinemas and the whole entertainment industry were created. Before coolness, it was frank power, money, magic, authority, science/religion, and leverage. Now coolness counts as an important trait to be had. If you aren't cool, you'll be judged harshly. A lot of people these days make careers and thrive barely using this one trait, when in fact it's just a useless stupid made-up thing.

You seem to assume that just because you can't imagine consciousness emerging out of unconscious objects that it can't. But says who? Don't confuse the limits of your imagination with reality. Just because God exists does not disprove materialism. It could be the case that consciousness is a material by-product that has developed over time out of material objects that have developed over time out of nothing. That nothing is the ultimate God that does not have qualities, and is not even conscious, therefore it can take any shape or form. In this case, it happens to take the form of "consciousness". So consciousness is not God but just a tiny part of it. I'd like anyone to challenge this perspective.

I believe not.

Yesterday was a total failure. Gosh! It's so hard to follow a retreat system at home. But anyway, I was able to surrender myself, and funnily enough I reconnected to not-knowing and self-love to a certain degree, and I also started shifting from thinking to being. I had experienced much deeper levels of connection with source in the past than now it pales in comparison, but still it's good progress. Now I started seeing with my eyes again! It's as though I was blind of some sorts. And now it's like I broke out of the control of thoughts. They don't affect me like they used to do. At some point I kinda gave up the challenge and thought it was pointless. Now I'm back on track, although not fully. I will allow more stuff on the expense of other unnecessary stuff. It's getting interesting.

First day; piece of cake. Woke up at 6:00 AM, and now it's 7 PM. I feel drowsy and I'm gonna sleep soon. No porn or masturbation or video games ✔ 30 minutes of music or less ✔ 15 minutes of internet usage or less ✔ 1 Friends episode (20 minutes) ✔ 1 design course video ✔ A few insights and glimpses. Nothing worth mentioning. General theme is practicality. Will see how it unfolds. I've noticed that the commitment I made to journal about the progress I'm making is being counter-productive. For this reason and from now on, I will most likely only journal when something major or extraordinary happens, whether it's a breakthrough or a breakdown. Anything less than that is not worth talking about, I guess. Maybe I will report if I fail to meet the criteria in the check-list as well. We'll see.

I could do that ? ??

@Mikael89 So what if your survival is secured? You're gonna die when you're old. The only difference is the number of years, but the fear will be there. How are you gonna face the fear of death?

It was there all along. Or at least that's what it seemed from the mystical experience I once had. I experienced being a fetus or a sperm or something like that. It felt so warm. Here: I was listening to this on headphones and then it happened.

Watch Prison Break series.

All right, it's decided. Starting from tomorrow I will be running the observer mode on 99% efficiency. Basically, I will be meditating and in silence all day long, and nothing shall escape the light of awareness. _____ I will allow myself only a little bit of low consciousness (entertainment) throughout the day. And that'll be: 15 minutes max of internet usage divided on 1 to 3 occasions per day to check on things that are happening around me in the world. (Journalling here does not count). 30 minutes max listening to music per day. 1 Friends episode (20 minutes) max per day. I'm currently watching it for the first time and it's great so far. I don't want to miss the show even though it's old. 1 design course video max per day regardless of the duration. That's about two hours, and all of it is optional. I may not feel like doing anything at all at some point. I don't know. _____ No video games. Zero. Blank. At least for the next few weeks. 2 masturbation sessions max per week. _____ Will try to report here everyday if I feel like it. And will update my plans each week, ideally. No rewards or punishments. Just total honesty and awareness. If I slack off, I will make sure I don't judge myself but instead just be aware of what's happening. This isn't about achieving some future goals. It's just about being present, accepting reality, and increasing awareness. The planned practices are mentioned in the original post. I may not specify what I practice each day. The most important thing is to be aware. I guess that's it for now. Will update the day after tomorrow.

This is wrong, but you're still in denial that it's wrong. Why? Simple, I admit that perfection, love, goodness, etc... are all egoic constructs that have no relation to the absolute. Same as it goes for their counterparts; lack, fear, evil, etc... are all egoic constructs that have no relation to the absolute. Another word for it is projection. Depending on your state of consciousness, and if you're not aware of how projection works, you will most likely mistake your state for reality.

Not sure about this. I've personally gone through the dark night of the soul. It was nothing like anything else. Just pure suffering. DP/DR don't necessarily have the suffering component. In fact, they kinda helped me detach from the suffering. So maybe they're part of consciousness' immune system so to speak.