Gesundheit

Hmmm, group-think sounds like a possible answer. Although, I think there is a biological component to it too.

Looks like you haven't read the comments here. How does that relate to the inquiry? Men can be supportive, but they can't be pregnant. It's the difference between putting your hands in water and her hands on a stove. It's not at all possible to share a woman's struggles of pregnancy and giving birth. Didn't know you intended to ridicule me. The question was about how some women are specific with what they want their kids to be like. Like they're ordering a doll or something. Of course, I don't mean all women. But I think 70% is a fair percentage (majority). This is from my own life experiences, and from this forum. The context I'm using here is the majority of men vs. the majority of women. I think the forum, and this thread in specific are a good specimen and represent reality well enough.

@tsuki Yeah, seriously. Why don't men desire having kids as much as women do? Since men don't give birth or experience pregnancy, it should make more sense that they would want to have kids. I mean if kids = survival. Why are women so specific about that desire? Why do they focus on certain things and disregard others? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

@Elevated @Etherial Cat You guys were saying?

Well, I wouldn't risk a ban for that line, that's for sure Thanks to your wizard husband I wouldn't say it's silly. I just don't understand the reasoning behind it. Even survival cannot explain it.

No wonder it took you hundreds of approaches to get laid

Modern/Secular societies seem to have a stigma around men desiring children. Or maybe because children are perceived to be limiting their freedom. I just don't get how attached westerners are to "freedom". It's kinda funny how the master becomes the slave sometimes. Ah! And don't forget the whole antinatalism movement that reeks of nihilism, suffering, ungratefulness, and hatred towards life. All of which are a product of materialism/atheism/overrationality. Ancient cultures and less developed countries celebrate children because they celebrate life as a purely magical thing. Of course, materialism is penetrating through them too. But the essence is still there. That being said, I don't have a position on having children. I guess if I could raise them well and provide for them, then why not? The more, the better. But I don't daydream about that. When my ex asked me about kids, she had already made up her mind that she wanted a boy and a girl, with the boy being younger. I honestly don't understand why these things matter to women, perhaps because of the barbie dolls lol.

Silliest video I've seen of him, and all I've seen of him so far is silly. If the purpose is learning & education, he can simply do it at home with a gf instead.

@Pernani All love is imagined by you, and it's all self-love. You generate the love from within before you receive it from others. Others simply follow/fulfill their agendas through you, just like you do through them. There's no real love, really. Think about it. You can have a relationship with someone where you can think they truly love you, only to find out later that they never actually loved you but have been using you the entire time for your money or something else. Notice that in that case there isn't an objective thing out there called love that you were receiving. It's simply all in your mind. And you, like a fool, believed it to be true. You actually felt that love, even though it was non-existent from the other person's pov. How is it possible to feel something that doesn't actually exist? Conversely, you can have people that truly care about your well-being and actually love you, but, for some reasons, you don't feel their love. This is super obvious in parent-child relationships. Children are rarely able to see their parents' love, even though it's arguably the truest & purest love anyone could ever receive. All of that is because love is a language that humans invented. And just like any other language, it is a survival mechanism. When you feel love for someone, what that actually means is that you don't know how to love yourself. And so, you use that someone to give you enough validation so that you can finally love yourself. The truth is that you can shortcut that thing and love yourself directly, but again, you are so disconnected from it and don't know how to do it. It takes time and effort to grow back your self-love abilities. Of course, don't beat yourself up if you are feeling a little bit lost. It's the general trend that people don't know how to love themselves. And rarely anyone ever reaches the ultimate levels of self-love (total enlightenment). But have the courage to start loving yourself again. And of course, none of that means that you can't or shouldn't have relationships anymore. You can, and actually should, because relationships give you necessary life experiences that provide important lessons. Just start by realizing the truth of the situation, and from that place you will begin to truly heal. Deconstruct all the ideas that you have about love. Question them to death. Feel into the emotions, and inquire into them. The truth is what remains after all the falsehood is removed.

Are there people who regret death?

I really don't know. Even life purpose, as great as it is, is not the ultimate answer. I mean these things help, that's for sure, but there isn't an objective thing out there called "people-pleasing" that we eliminate by doing certain things. Rather, it's something that you catch yourself doing and you feel bad for doing it. I think the ultimate answer is in how you feel. If you have good relationships and you feel good about yourself, then what is there to improve?

@Eren Eeager Awesome! Stay blessed.

http://www.imperience.org/About/Imperience.htm

@Leo Gura I guess you're right for not seeing the negative effects, because you live in America; the world's biggest economy. But I would leave the luxuries out of the picture for now and ask you a question: When you say consumer goods, does that include food and basic services (clean water, electricity, gas, internet, transportation, education, etc...)? Are these things getting cheaper? Or are you getting taxed more?

@Someone here Interesting! For me, it's way too far ahead, so I don't know a lot. It's still just a few vague ideas floating in my mind. Although, I think it's absolutely possible with good research and studying, and then practicing. People have done it before science, so it must be easier than it seems. I could make use of all the discoveries that have been made and integrate them into my farming system. It would be foolish to disregard all the progress and evolution. But I want to be independent even of electronic devices and electricity in general. I don't want to own a phone, a computer, or a car. Basically, I want to be independent of anything that I don't generate on my own/have control over. Usually, scientists/academics tend to be perfectionistic with their systems, because they are demanded to be, for the sake of maximum profit/production. My farm would only be supplying me, so I don't think it would be so complicated. There would definitely be a certain amount of effort in order to maintain the system, but I think it would be within my powers. Again, I don't know a lot, so I could easily be deluded.

No problem. I'm not completely over it, so I'm still working on it too. I think, generally, there is a confusion between being a people-pleaser and being a good person. I notice in myself that when I am concerned with what others think of me that I try to please them somehow. Now that I have identified certain goals that I want to achieve, it's getting easier to not care. Having & following a life purpose is perhaps one of the best remedies for self-image issues, probably because it grounds thinking and behavior in an ideal that one does not currently possess, and that ideal provides protection against the compromises that we make when dealing with others.

@Someone here It's the equivalent of having a job and working out in a gym. May not be very comfortable for the body (or maybe only at first), but it sure is very comfortable for the mind. Work is inevitable in life, and life without work is boring. The biggest differences with my dream lifestyle are: Being completely independent of society, and acquiring the ultimate peace of mind (due to not having to think a lot).

@Someone here What up dude?! Did you even read the post?

That life goes on...

Not wilderness, but my ultimate dream is to create a farm or something like that, where I can plant crops and breed chickens and sheep and other animals on my own. I want to return to the good old agriculture. And preferably live like that for a few years, maybe a decade. And then I may return to society or maybe create my own.

@Eren Eeager How did this insight change your relationship with OCD? Any improvements?

Probably @mandyjw has some insights to share.