Jacob Morres

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Everything posted by Jacob Morres

  1. its not black and white - as sometimes the girl might actually be not putting effort into the relationship and that severely amplifies the feelings (ime). like human beings have needs. i think if she is honest , faithful and attentive then there may be some healing on your part. hope you find your answer
  2. it is such an insane video. ive never seen it mentioned on the forum interestingly. wonder if people didnt watch it, didnt get it, or just didnt resonate with it
  3. There are some communities while large and public, can sti be overwhelmingly kind and compassionate. I'm part of a discord that is like this Did you mean this subforum particularly? Or the whole forum
  4. i think partly for me it is because the map isn't the territory
  5. this is just my pov sort of, but your EQ takes a hit. acting like a douche sort of clouds your judgement in emotional consciousness this is the right track though, your process of healing just a guess but i think inner child work/mindfulness/trauma work + self-discovery will be useful. it's like a healthier form of strength that comes from that both things actually are strength from a pov. one comes from insecurity though and the other comes from something else. self-confidence, self-love, presence, love etc.
  6. try mindfulness. it might lower your desire to masturbate a bit. when i do it mindfully, it gets boring.
  7. Personally I like the fundamental ones: Power of asking questions How ideology works Body awareness/The power of letting go. That stuff in conjunction with awareness stuff by Tolle How to contemplate using a journal (and how to contemplate in general)
  8. not to derail this thread - where did u get this quote? ive been doing this for sometime and have found massive value from this when i do it.
  9. i know how you feel. the way i interpret this right now is that if a girl is disrespectful she is helping weed herself out. a criteria for me is integrity. idont know if this is the best way, but right now i have a certain vibe that i want the girl to also embody
  10. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?start=20&q=Research+papers+on+astrology&hl=en&as_sdt=0,31&as_vis=1#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DugpvFBTdttEJ I think the astrology model is too weak
  11. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8fAhapD/ I thought this tiktok channel might be helpful . She's a therapist and she humanizes the struggles we all go through in dating and she brings alternative healthier approaches to it. I actually found it healing so maybe it might be helpful for you too I've dealt with similar thoughts over the years so I totally get it. There's nothing wrong with you. You're mind is in conflict towards itself and facing really normal human emotions (that we all go through) Even if you are 23, I can tell you that you can still have what you want here, you will be amazed as to what you can accomplish in a few years of incremental effort (it snowballs) Regarding that fear, that sounds really tough. Personally, eckhart tolle helps me a lot with that fear. There's 2 chapters in 'practical applications of the power of now' on dealing with unconsciousness and dissolving the pain body that personally helped me a lot. Managing that fear and realizing that fear is an illusion helps a lot I also recommend a therapist (or self therapy) that could be helpful with loving compassion techniques, trauma therapy, or family systems for those parts of yourself that you feel in resistance with. Because there is nothing wrong with you, you are a human being just like us
  12. personally i dont like how pua doesnt (or didn't rather maybe) press enough about concepts like self-esteem
  13. Bump Maybe it has to do with how much you can handle and your intention. I've personally been on both sides of the coin, and have felt limits to both. Lots of friends and socializing can distract you from more meaningful things and the lack of it can make you depressed (imo)
  14. I feel this is a pillarstone of life. Gut, heart, mind
  15. https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-downsides-of-being-very-emotionally-intelligent The downsides of high emotional intelligence Though definitions vary, EQ always comprises intrapersonal and interpersonal skills – in particular, high adjustment, sociability, sensitivity, and prudence. However, there are downsides to any human trait. The drawbacks of higher EQ include lower levels of creativity and innovation potential. People with high EQ tend to be great at building relations and working with others but may lack the necessary levels of nonconformity and unconventionality to challenge the status quo. Because of their high interpersonal sensitivity, people with high EQ struggle to give negative feedback, and their cool-headedness and positivity means they also have difficulty receiving it. They can be reluctant to ruffle people’s feathers, which puts them at a disadvantage when they need to make unpopular choices or bring about change. High EQ individuals can also have a well-developed ability to manipulate others. They risk overusing their social skills by focusing heavily on the emotional aspects of communication while neglecting logical arguments. Lastly, these employees can have higher levels of conscientiousness and are therefore averse to risk. Although EQ is unquestionably a desirable and highly adaptive trait, obsessing over it can create an overly diplomatic workforce that fails to drive change and innovation. " People with high EQ tend to be great at building relations and working with others but may lack the necessary levels of nonconformity and unconventionality to challenge the status quo." Could see that. While being emotionally conscious of others, it may be difficult to hurt others when wanting to making conscious choices. But I think -> this is not inherent as I think a true leader makes decisions that are right, not just socially acceptable. But as someone who has run into this trap at times, I can totally understand how it can be difficult to break this conformist attitude at times. "They risk overusing their social skills by focusing heavily on the emotional aspects of communication while neglecting logical arguments." Seems as though this is the limit of EQ not the limit of development. I guess with all things, arises with traps I can see there are many traps with too high IQ. Sometimes people are too logical , they forget the emotional, communicational and spiritual aspects.
  16. I love enjoying with friends, laughing having fun I love to authentically be myself I love deep connection, deep intimacy I love to love others
  17. this a prelude to sundays vid
  18. Why I enjoyed 6 pillars of self esteem: - I felt good that Branden included a lot of nuance in his wisdom. He didn't just put out a principle and said it was the truth. He pressed on context which I admired because context is key in the world of self improvement - it was really nice to see when he gave advice that he spoke much about the traps and misconceptions. Often in self improvement I feel advice gets too linear! Almost like they can't see outside the bubble of the advice they are giving. Just very unholsitic - felt well studied, well researched and well understood. Branden remains unbiased , with an understanding he doesn't have the absolute truth and is always willing to append on his wisdom - goes in depth on the principles. I think though he went in depth I have a lot of questions still and I think it could be explained even better. - a lot of great definitions founded in wisdom What is the connection between the practice and what does it have to do with self esteem? How are they interlinked? Why is self esteem so illusive to the psychology community? How come definitions of it aren't so concrete? Why is self esteem comprised of two definitions? How can one thing be 2?? Why did the program feel so impersonal? I honestly felt he needed way more questions to help engage the reader to understand the idea more. Worksheets Personal questions: What is self esteem and why is it important? What I would have liked to see: - I was a little dissatisfied with the practical program. Though it did feel somewhat comprehensive I wish there was a classroom like with TAs or a cohort or something. When I am stuck or confused, I have nobody to go to
  19. leo denotes this as the #1 skill to develop
  20. can attest to brian johnson being a G
  21. I've noticed this too. I think the sensitivity just means your consciousness of your emotions are way higher. Whereas before, it'd just be in the background but now the person is more attuned with them
  22. shadow work. might be a bit radical but if you do shadow work youll be able to integrate 'other' and the anger towards 'other' will decrease as you start to see it a part of yourself as well. integration of those parts in yourself will help you understand that in others being a good/moral person requires a lot of development and consciousness. it's actually a large spectrum. this is because there is sooo much to it. emotional intelligence, quality of your intentions, the manner in the ways you cope, integrity it's like a process to gradually reduce your selfishness and your 'evil'. i try to not think of evil as a bad because it is contained in all of us and is just what makes us human. it helps you integrate it as well. leos videos on evil may help you i find it an enjoyable process to find and dissolve the 'evil' in me, it's a never-ending healing journey for me
  23. @lxlichael you may need to dig into the reason as to what makes your preferences the way they are