Jacob Morres

yeah i'd do it for 2-3 years, take my bag then use that bag to pursue other endeavors. if youre at FB youre getting a big bag. you're also going to be in an environment of very intelligent and ambitious and partly green people. seems like my environment then again FB value system is slightly differed than mine. I don't think we'd be fully aligned, but I would learn a lot. I'd do it for a year

Some of the lowest conscious people I initially deemed were the most developed after realizing it through my own development A therapist that I thought was stupid (while true in terms of the training I was looking for) was the most compassionate, emptionally intelligent and human centered person under later reflection A therapist I thought was emotionally unavailable (while perhaps true) was also simtanouesly very comfortable in her own skin which I currently think is high self esteem

Healthy character Integrous Fun loving Spiritual Those are probably my only non negoitables. I think rest I can feel it out

@SamC ik you asked leo but from my exp pua won't fix your internal feelings of self worth and authenticity I actually don't think that traditional pickup helps much with this . Happy to be wrong But, when I looked at rsd juliens latest product (tengame) and also rsd Alex, they both spent time I think into correcting some of the negatives that came with pua. Julien with focusing on authenticity in tengame and then trauma work in his latest work. Then Alex with focusing on self esteem as the core of the game. This is just my understanding

You can do it in a way that such happens

depends on how you do it

it depends on the habit i think. some habits need rest like working out. but some habits dont like drinking water in the morning you can workout everyday too just the workout cant be strenous everyday otherwise like you said, burnout btw burnout is very well studied to my knowledge im sure you can find better knowledge than me https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2019/01/01/burnout-cause/

By goal-less i think it means outcome independence/detachment, not actually goal-less

Also keep in mind there are more factors in determining efficacy of the therapist skill and empathy https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-a-good-therapist#1.-They-actually-listen-to-you. But careful in being perfectionistic about it

What's interesting is that this can be true the other way around as well. When it comes to sports I found my outer game self correcting as I got proficient at inner game The way I saw it is outer game is like a spotlight of your inner game (like your inner projects outside like a projector). So as you develop your inner game, your outer game just develops through patience and time But I also played a lot so (like sev hours a day). It was like a self fulfilling prophecy where inner and outer are deeply connected

Lmao the framing of some of the questions ? Game is supposed to be natural. If a guy is good at flirting you wouldn't even think of him as a pua

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/spirituality

i think theyre intertwined are they not? when you are mastering something, you are still manifesting an end result, but you are just focused on the present moment perhaps maybe the goal isn't super-defined but there is a general direction - the mastery of that subject I don't fully understand the nuances behind the goal-less philosophy though. I'd imagine no goals wouldn't gain you mastery. What if you had no goals when practicing piano and you just learned how to hit the keys as fast as possible lol

We have to get crystal clear of the traps with PuA. We can't throw pua out the window but there are incomplete philosophies that we must be conscious of I think to an extent pickup might diminish authenticity. But at the same time, I think you could pursue pickup with authenticity in mind Leo autocorrects part of this in how to be a man part 2

Hare krishnan groups might be particularly dogmatic. I know very little of it but I've heard it's a cult. Might be some type of green cult. Just speculations But what do I know lol.

I remember being like this when I was younger so I understand u

Self-help

bumble-friends looks interesting

Every morning when i wake up and right before I sleep. I keep a book by my bed so i just pick it up as soon as i get up and start reading and when I'm in bed i read a couple of pages. Helps to have a genuine desire and intent too Also if you have resistance, finding books that you genuinely want to read can help

This ^ Please google "harm ocd" and see if it resonates Harm ocd can be a subset of pure OCD (pure ocd is ocd is that happens solely in the mind rather than as external compulsions for example like compulsive handwashing) "Getting rid of the thoughts" is the whole trick of OCD -> by trying to get rid of them, it actually enforces the compulsion cycle. So instead you have to surrender/be okay with/allow/observe that fear without engaging in that compulsion cycle One technique people use is whatever that fear is "i love that X fear. I greatly desire that X fear" and allowing that fear to spike and pass without reacting to it (this is called imaginal exposure) Also noticing that fear is just a fear with mindfulness can help In science, the gold standard for treating OCD is exposure and response prevention but the treatment is evolving with combining erp with acceptance and commitment therapy as well as mindfulness based practices (btw I dont know how severe yours is (also dont know if you have ocd 100% but sounds like it is to me. im also not a doctor so i cant diagnose anyone)) Also OCD is well studied and there a ton of resources on it. You can find a patient + skilled ocd specialist if it's really bad or you can do it by yourself. This is where I learned about conquering OCD first from but I also encourage you to do your own research: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2ADA7A35723646F6 Also amazon sells this book as well: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YW8FZ5Y/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Personally imaginal exposure worked for me as well as vipassana (but I heard good things about ACT as well) also if it resonates - I'd like to say that you can also indirectly affect your OCD by taking account your stressors and what makes it worse. Like for example poor sleep can indirectly affect OCD. And increasing happiness + fulfillment can also indirectly help OCD.

I heard general advice for this is to work up to it

Sounds like way too much effort. I think you need more detachment and self respect. If you're not feeling his love or investment I'd go find someone else who is giving you that For me there are girls I meet who give me the latter much better than other girls. Some girls are just way too aloof. There's def a happy medium but if it feels too one sided idk But what do I know ?‍♂️ I didn't even read the whole thread lol

Philosophies that I highly resonate with right now: 1. Everyone deserves love. I think we are all somehow broken and healing and when you deeply understand someone you can sometimes their humanity and the evil that you once perceived washes away. Evil is a lens that we use, and we can choose understanding and compassion instead 2. Look at others not a reflection of you, but rather as an extension of themselves that is detached from you. Their perception of you is their own mental perception of you and as you observe them instead of taking their opinions of truth you will see that their perception is happening in their own minds, and not an objective truth of reality 3. Indecision can fool you into thinking you're just deciding but you need to be careful that while you're in decision, there are natural consequences to it. Not confronting an issue deals with many consequences and they do not go away just because you are "deciding". One being lost time. Another being not taking responsibility for things

@Lyubov regarding that, you could say many men need to go through a lot of emotional labor into becoming an attractive man. That definitely balances the scale by far

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