Someone here

I'm actually quite new to this slang . I've been hearing it a lot recently In Discord servers. Discords that are tagged for dating. There is also this other slang "soy boy ". I think the dating scene online is so fucked up and filled with toxic concepts that puts a lot of guys down . Because a huge part of your appearance Is based on genetics. So What exactly is meant with this whole "Chad " nonsense? To have a muscular body ..a long ass trimmed beard and "bad boy " vibe to you?

I'm not full of shit . Why do you think that you are full of shit ? And what does that even mean ? One very simple but profound reason: the inability to recognize shit in oneself. This, however, does not preclude the ability to recognize it in others, hence, the question. In the same sense, you recognize everyone’s shit; except your own; they do so themselves..thus, the shitstorm we have today

I've reached a breaking point when it comes to my love life, or lack thereof. This past week, I went on a date. The first date I've had in years . Second date in my life. Even getting this date was an amazing achievement for me, most of the time girls just ignore me after a few messages. Trying to sell myself in text form is next to impossible, and I seem really boring unless I'm in person. But this time we had a whole bunch in common . So it actually worked, and I was so excited. I actually had high hopes for myself for this date, which I rarely do. It actually seemed doable. I did everything i could to make sure it went well. I dressed well, tidied myself up, and made sure I had a lot to say. When i was there, conversation was easy. I made her laugh a lot, we connected on a bunch of topics, I thought I was interesting, and i wasn't a "nice guy" who simped for her. I was me. I tried to be myself, which I thought was the main thing you had to do. She gave no signs she wasn't interested, and I asked if she wanted to meet next week, and she said yes. I thought I'd gotten past the hardest part. I'm usually so nervous when I meet people, but the more I meet them the safer I feel to get out of my shell. The more I met her, the more she'd get to know me, and see I could be a good match. But the very next day she sends me a big text bluntly saying she doesn't like me that way, and that she doesn't want to meet me again, even as a friend. It took ages to get her, and I can safely say it'll be months before I can get another. I live in a small town, and there's not much to choose from. I'm in my late 20's now, and I'm well past the point of it being normal to have no relationship experience. It's easy for me to make friends, even with women. But I clearly have zero charisma beyond that, and no girl has seen me in a sexual way at all. And that seems to be all I can offer. I'm genuinely terrified to escalate with a girl, I assume they find me creepy and pushy if I even think of touching her. I feel like a predator, and I just get the vibe I should leave them alone. I absolutely don't know what to do anymore. I've tried looking after myself, because I thought self-improvement would lead to self-confidence, which would mean the girls would come to me, rather than vice versa. For years i've tried. And I'm much better now than I was when I started. But it hasn't worked. I'm not an ugly person by any means, I actually think I'm quite attractive. But I've no idea how to get beyond that initial connection to anything substantial. Talking to them seems not to work. Showing my talents and passions doesn't either. Being me hasn't gotten me anywhere. This has gone on for years now, and I've lost hope. I've tried to be resilient, learn from my failures and keep going, but I seem to be in the exact same place. What can I do? I have so much love to give, and I really feel I'll be alone forever.

Why ?

Most humans of course. I think that we are biological machines, yes. How much of our behaviour is free will, and how much is subject to hormones, instinct, conditioning and brain chemistry (otherwise known as "programming") is a question I ask myself a lot. I suspect that a lot of the decisions and choices that I make are influenced by those things. Well that is literally what philosophy is . You sit down and use your intellectual facilities ALONE to arrive at conclusions. Unlike physical science (biology, chemistry, physics etc ) when you Have to empirically test things out .

@Nilsi Its because I love philosophy I like to speculate and philosophize . You love something when that something gives meaning to your life. And if I may say so philosophy is the most meaningful activity of life. Without philosophy who are we? We get a job to survive in the world, have kids, make money that we would never really get to use and the same routine in and out of office goes on for years until we grow weak and our infirmity prevents further activity. That is when we stop and start thinking what was the meaning of all this. Only when we realize we are mortal and things may end soon for us that we begin to take stock of life to see how our life has been. The problem is all our life we have done something for the sake of gaining something else. But we have not done anything for the sake of itself. When we turn back we realize that our most happiest period has been our childhood where we have no achievements to show for yet we were happy. Philosophy is meaningful because it breaks us from a mechanical pattern .. it allows you to be more than just a machine.

Poetic and lovey-dovey but doesn't make much sense to me in current state of consciousness . Wut? Something about this statement's grammar is a bit confusing. Not sure what are you saying here . I didn't say there is no self. I said according to the solipsism worldview there is only you and you are hallucinating the entire universe around you . This leaves no room for any "others " but YOU. And what's worse is that it's completely unfalsifiable . It is ego that feels such fear. Ego does not comprehend the effulgence of your expanded consciousness. It can see nothing beyond itself. I cannot stop clinging. The letting go must come effortlessly and not forced . And I'm not ready to handle such truths at this point in my life .

No .it really does spoil the whole thing for you. Imagine looking into your mother's eyes and recognizing that there is no one behind her eyes . it’s a theory that, if true, precludes the abstract ability to do anything. If you accept Solipsism, you no longer have any reason to do anything. Even self-interest doesn’t apply anymore. there is no longer anything out there to benefit you. Just sit there and think happy thoughts forever. You can’t die. There’s nothing to kill you, not even your body. You’re just a dream in the dark. And what does a dream in the dark do but lie there and think? As much as that’s arguable ..t’s perhaps best to ignore it and go to those theories that allow for any degree of thought or action in any capacity whatsoever.

Think about your dreams at night...all other persons are just figments of your imagination. You dream them all up . Once you wake up from the dream they all disappear. if the same dynamic is true with "real life "..then literally what's the point of social interactions with people if they are just figments of your mind and have no inner qualitative experience of their own ? Really sit down and contemplate the implications and consequences of solipsism. This is scary shit .

The day I discover that I'm all alone ..I will definitely quit the forum. Quit society. Either go live by myself in a cave blessing out on nothing. Or I'm gonna suicide myself. There is no point talking to "others " if you truly believe there are no others.

@Leo Gura do you feel good this morning? I feel that ya feel amazing ?

@Adamq8 but don't you agree that his behaviour is weird in this thread ?

@Adamq8 Leo is a truly advanced thinker. He is radical with some statements like when he says stop moralizing, stop socializing, stop watching TV and stop reading fiction books. He actually does not mean this activities are bad or wrong. For example he says stop socializing because people this days tend to put too much value on superficial relationships, and almost none with themselves. He is asking you to stop wasting your time watching TV and reading “entertaining stuff” and get to work in your life purpose to be truly fulfilled. He says stop moralizing so you can’t stop punish and blaming yourself for the bad things that you do. What is right or wrong anyway? That’s the kind of questions Leo is trying you to ask yourself

@Leo Gura If you tell people exactly what you think. i.e: Very accurate feedback. They will most of the time be very insulted. People need to hear it though. Telling a chef his food is great when it’s terrible is not gonna help him learn to be a better chef. Tell people what they need to hear. Not what they want to hear. Is that your attitude @Leo Gura ?

Lol .tone it down please Leo. We are not having a fight here.

@Leo Gura Solipsism argues that because physical senses are unreliable and people can’t tell when they’re in dreams, you can’t be sure everything around you even exists. But since something needs to exist in order to interpret things in such a way as to make the larger world appear to externally exist, your mind is assured to exist, but everything else is questioned. I remain agnostic about it . I can't say "it " because I could ne delusional. Probably are .

@LSD-Rumi Awakened from what or where? There are all kinds of awakenings. Any bit of personal stretching or growth is an example of an awakening. But, to me, anyone who says that they are “awakened” is likely not. It’s been my experience that a soul in the process of true awakening understands that it is an ever-expanding journey, not a single destination.

Great post. Thanks for sharing A couple of notes though: I can't tell you what death ie or it will ruin the human experience you are having. I can tell you that: 1. You don't need to fear it. 2. It will happen at the right time ..you can't significantly hasten it or delay it. 3. After it happens, you will have all the answers you need. 4. You may have a reaction similar to "that was great ..i want to do it again." I think one must experience fully the life we have now and don't worry about what's next.

@Leo Gura How humble of you ? Srs tho..if I'm not mistaken you equate awakening =solipsism, right ? And I'm the only being in the universe and everything comes from my imagination? I wouldn't believe myself capable of have experiencing everything I have, and remembering it well enough from experience to experience, for it to have come from my imagination . Seems quite egotistical to im6agine you, created every beautiful work of art, every song, every experience… and while YOU can't remember where you left your car keys, you or it somehow remembers the perfection of some concerto written 500 years ago. I made a post few months ago talking about my awakening to absolute solipsism shortly after you released the solipsism video and before you took it down. Now that I think about it again .I'm beginning to doubt the idealist /solipsist worldview and leaning more towards objective external reality being real . Why? Because its more sane .I Don't want to lose my goddam mind with this solipsism stuff . Solpsism is an unfalsifiable claim. When its falsifiable, when the claim has sufficient definition to check, then we can check. Until then… a natural world we are born into is a perfectly fine explainination that requires no further assumptions without fact. P.S I will be the first who buys your upcoming awakening course when it's out .

I thank you for this beautiful comment.. However I want to clarify something: There is one main thing which I did not know at the beginning, Of my spiritual journey.. it is the main issue and you will realize it after your Self realization. At the beginning the “I” (ego) thinks that is awakening into the reality. It thinks that it will gain some new perspective, shift or wisdom and will become enlightened. But that is not true, yet it can hold you on the path for all your life with no result. But all this process is not about gaining., it is not about becoming., it is not about progress in time. It is not about the change of the “I”, who thinks that will become enlightened. It is about the death of the “I”. It is about the dissolving the ego within the God, Reality, Conciousness. It is about losing all of the attachement for the arising phenomena. It is about a pure freedom which remains after all cleaning process is through. But it is just a partial ralization of HUMAN BEING. From the point of the Self realization the job is not done. The true stuff starts at this point. Egoic tendencies are not totaly gone. Patterns of the conditioning are still present.You are one foot in the absolute “bliss” and one foot in the ego.

And how do you know that ? Have you died before ?

The problem with Neo-Advaita teachings Is focusing on the goal, or "end point" of Nondualism, which is the nondual state itself, while almost completely ignoring the path and the teachings on how to achieve same. In, say, Christianity, this would be the equivalent of talking only about the experience of "Heaven" while giving no importance whatsoever as to how to get there. They seem to think that simple knowledge and agreement of Nonduality as being the "default state of Existence/Reality" is all that is required, and no further seeking of Truth is necessary. To me, that is like being stranded on a deserted island with few resources and looking across the ocean at a lush, tropical island paradise and then being too lazy or afraid or whatever to take the necessary steps to escape the current misery of the lesser place and arrive at the better one. The red flag which led to my discovery of Neo-Advaita was that whenever I was interacting with members of this online Nonduality group I had joined, many of the members had very strong ego reactions to the teachings that I was attempting to share. A true Nondualist on the path to Enlightenment/Self-realization, unless they are raw beginners or noobs should be much more in control of ego's urge to react with negative emotions. With many there, the mere mention of the word "God" or "Consciousness" resulted in immediate contradictory posts, many with a clear tone of condescension. It became clearer and clearer to me that something important was being left out of the Nondual equation in that group, and that something was the EGO.

But Leo..isn't enlightenment the purpose of life? I mean what else is there to do after you. get your survival needs handled? I guess If you are still seeing life as a means to an end, then the answer is ‘yes’… Enlightenment is the ultimate purpose of life. This is not really the correct answer but the best and useful answer that I can give you right now. People are usually conditioned to think anything as a journey from point A point B. The thoughts like ‘I want to become rich’, ‘I want to become famous’, ‘I want others to think I am smart’ etc stem from this conditioning. There is always a feeling of lack and people are seeking something to destroy the feeling of lack. This makes people to always look forward to the future. But the truth is, nothing that you do, know or experience will destroy this feeling of lack, the feeling of ‘not enough’… It only causes an endless cycle of accumulating wealth, knowledge and experiences. This accumulation is never ending and the feeling of lack will be still there, no matter what you do. Only through awakening cam you realise the inherent value of being instead of doing and achieving.

I know I've made several posts about my smoking habit in the past .but this time I'm more serious than ever .and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to quit . Guys I need serious help to quit smoking .these days I smoke 15 stick per day . Its affecting my lungs negatively .I can feel the burning sensation in my chest. Honestly I don't know what I'm waiting for to fucking quit once and for all ..do I have to have a heart attack as a wake up call or what? Why am i being stupid? I think it's pretty clear that smoking is terrible for you, in so many ways. It's the most obvious thing in the world, and its constantly drilled into your head that smoking is expensive, bad for your health, bad for others around you, unhygenic, disgusting, smelly, etc, etc. and that you NEED to quit RIGHT NOW. For god's sake, even the packaging is plastered with warnings and graphic imagery, what more could possibly be done to deter smokers? For me, personally, none of these warnings mattered. When I wanted a cigarette, I was going to smoke a cigarette, end of story. I could list any number of reasons why I loved smoking (the taste, the social aspect, the chance to take a break, that satisfying burn) to counter any of the anti-smoking arguments. But none of that really matters. Recently..two weeks ago , as soon as I finished a cigarette, I crushed it out and realized that I WANTED to quit smoking. At that moment, the actual desire to NOT have a cigarette was outweighing the desire to have a cigarette. This wasn't the first time I had this feeling, but it was the first time I decided to seriously act on it. The next day, I didn't smoke. The day after that, I didn't smoke either, but I started craving one. The third day, I wanted a cigarette BADLY, but by that point I realized that if I gave in, I'd have wasted the previous two days. The desire to maintain that record, and taking pride in that record, helped me make it through that third day, and then the rest of the week. That record became my defense against smoking. It's like building a house of cards. Every day you add a card to the house, and at first, it's not very impressive, and not much of a shame if you knock it down. But after a while, that house of cards starts looking pretty good, and if you knocked it down, it would be a real shame. You develop an emotional attachment to the project. Right now, I've got a 2 weeks old house of cards, and it's the only thing keeping me from picking up a cigarette. It's not the health warnings, it's not the expense, it's that house of cards. I know if I smoke even one cigarette, that entire house comes down, and I'm not 100% certain I can start over again. I simply value my house of cards more than I do a cigarette. Every few days I'll have a nightmare where I have a cigarette, and I'll wake up, terrified that I ruined my house of cards, relieved when I realize I didn't. That's how I know I've really quit. Still, some days are pretty hard. On the way to college this morning, I saw a guy on his apartment balcony smoking a cigarette in the hot weather , and I got a strong pang of jealousy. But it went away after about 30 seconds. That urge fades, in time, but it comes back every once in a while just to call your bluff. Why I'm still hesitating? When I'm gonna finally quit for Good ? That would be one of my gloriest victories in my life .but I need help. ?

You could say so, yes, but for most people it would be utterly misleading. In the separated state, there’s a clear distinction between conscious and unconscious. There’s a lot of activity in the unconscious. In the enlightened state the distinction between conscious and unconscious ceases to be. So you could say that everything becomes conscious, or that everything becomes unconscious. These statements are equivalent, and equally absurd since there is no distinction anymore.