WonderSeeker

This is surface-level stuff, but still relevant. A dating coach recently posed this question to me: "How do you dress when you know that women will see you?" As guys, we very seldom ask this because some of us assume that women don't give a damn about looks. After going in public and observing how people dress as an experiment (which I highly recommend you try), I realized that most women dress up very carefully and deliberately to look attractive. Although not a dealbreaker, it follows that style is pertinent in seduction. Speaking form your own experience, how did you find your style that's both attractive and that suits you?

Hey y'all. My brother is 'partially truthful, but very absolutistic' in his worldview at SD stage green values (Cook-Greuter individualist stage); this is often referred to as "regressive Green" by Ken Wilber and Integral life. He is leaning towards Marx a bit exclusively. There seems to be no getting through to him no matter what advice I try to give him about growing yourself (logic), or even when I offer emotional understanding (empathy). Even when I put an arm around him and tell him how proud I am (he does have some strengths), he will appear uplifted, temporarily. I existentially accept my brother's attitude toward life, but still I'd rather see him not blaming "the corporate class" as a limiting belief to the promised land, but instead simply contributing his gifts. As of now he doesn't hold jobs for long and plays the victim and displays anger (in the Peter Ralston "feeling incapable" and "I will shut y'all out" ways). He's 20. I'm not in a panic: I think issue could turn around out long-term. However, if he's going to correct this so he can develop cleanly and integrally, I want to take part in giving him a hand. What do you all think about this? Have you helped regressive green see things differently before? I'm curious about how you can get to someone. Thank you

Deal actualized audience, Try this little science experiment and see what happens: Goal: Go Meta on the forum. Deconstruct the forum. Notice how you use the forum. Notice how others are using it. Ask: "How often do I use the forum?" Ask "Is this really helping me develop?" Ask "Is the forum a distraction?" Ask "Am I using the forum wisely?" Ask: "Does arguing on the forum--even if you are 'right'--serve anybody?" Ask: "Am I using this forum to avoid learning real social skills?" Ask: "Am I adding value to the forum?" (Ah, here's a good one!) You probably assume that being on this forum helps you. But is this true? How are you using this forum? Notice how you resist taking up the idea of questioning what you're doing on the forum, let alone what the forum is. Qualifying note: I'm not implying that the forum is an 'evil' or all doo-doo. Your answers to these questions should be more nuanced than that. --------------------- One thing that I've become keenly aware of over the past couple of years in this community is just how much people are trying to ape Leo's life and be just like Leo. Nothing wrong with having a role model, but can't you see how this is a giant trap? Figure out your life in your own way, cross-referencing your unique capacities, preferences, and values with some of the great models that Leo has shared. Too many of us are going for the golden fruit of Awakening too soon. It seems to me that a lot of you are absorbing what Leo says as concrete facts to be stored away in your mental store-bin as a new paradigm to which you judge all other views. This is not real learning and understanding. Can't you see how this will fuck up your aspirations in a hurry? Even worse, it will distort what you think is worth while pursuing. It's a self-defeating strategy. (I know because I lived from this trap--albeit to only a minor degree, thankfully--for about a year.) This is your reminder to work on the lower-half of Maslow's hierarchy first! Even that will give you some satisfaction, as surprising as it sounds. A fellow fool, jp

Core feeling: I am becoming more egoic through spiritual work. OR, could it actually be that I'm becoming more aware of ego, and therefore more able to dis-identify with it because now I see it? Or are the practices are back-firing somehow, causing egotism? I think over the long haul, the ego is very slowing peeling away, but I still go through what appear as spells of ego-mania! I feel ignorant in this whole thing in spite of all of the insights and wisdom. I've been contemplating this for over a year on and off and still have not a clue. (I have a hunch that it's a matter of timing and that I don't have enough 'data' to know.) I've been using binaural beats for one year and did a year of daily traditional meditation before that. I feel like I'm seeing more ugly in me than even in my life and I don't want to negatively influence others with it. That said, I've also had moments where I've genuinely helped others and felt grounded within my being too. It just all feels very polarized. Cheers

Has anybody read this enneagram book? If so, in what ways did it change your life? I've become a personality type junkie in the past few weeks and just got this in the mail. Ken Wilber has spoken highly of it. Just flipping through the pages I can see tooooonnnns of models which turns me on. Cheers~

@museumoftrees Cutting away excessive screen-time is a mid- to long-term process. It's not going to happen overnight. Perhaps keep a personal log of how many hours per day you consume media. After a week or two you will discover an average. Slowly bring that average time down day-by-day until you reach a level that's healthy. But hey, if you are truly into entertainment in a way that is related to a potential life-purpose, then find a way to use what you are consuming rather than watching passively or in a neurotic way. Another piece of advice is to sit down and contemplate why you want to: Oh and of course, change is difficult and painful. This surface unhappiness you are experiencing is actually a sign that you're doing the right thing. If you feel at a deep level in your intuition that removing distractions is right for you but it stings on the outside, is is still the overall right thing to do. Don't let surface reactions fool you! Cheers~ ^ This too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0B_StY__Bg&t=772s

Have any of you done bootcamp with Madison (or any of the other RSD guys)? What were your experiences? I'm seriously considering going to one but don't know what to expect.

You come here to grow. Yet, the less time you spend here, the more you'll grow. Visiting this place is nice because it's inspiring to see fellow actualizers going after it and sharing. But in the end, all of this adds another distraction to your mind and slows you down (even if just a little bit). Better to check out the forum here and there, without making it a crutch. Thoughts?

Cykaaaa's "Hierarchy of distraction" What is growth to you? I agree, the forum can be used in more conscious or less conscious ways. But still you're talking about the forum paradigm. You don't necessarily need the forum because you can grow faster doing other things. @PurpleTree @ted73104 Bingo. A better way to frame it is like this: Working with teachers/mentors who are more conscious than you grows you faster than the forum alone. Working with coaches who are conscious makes your desire to come to the forum on a regular basis dissolve; you don't really need it if what you're after is growth.

Not everyone will be into this, but it was pretty cool to find music that really brings in spirituality and psychedelics hardcore. The album as a whole reminds me of the hero's journey: start in ignorance, get thrown off balance, search for answers, get knocked down, realize it was you all along, become the grounded motherfucker you already are. Dark beauty at its finest. Three songs in particular are stunning to me. The first is track 3: Metacine. This one is an effort to reconcile decades of black torment with our current spiritual crisis and looking to shamanism/psychedelics for answers. Track 7: 4D, to me is basically a first-person perspective railing against one's own ego. Track 14: Aquamane is the grounded track. After going through the trials and tribulations of some spiritual purification, you come out the other end with scars, but also a stable groundedness. Just remember gems -- musical ones or otherwise -- are formed and found where the sun don't shine. Artist interview: https://www.passionweiss.com/2020/05/27/hindsight-20-20-is-very-psychic-an-interview-with-zeroh/

@Vivaldo Yes because the way Leo presents is so blunt and sometimes emotionally disturbing for newbies. (Like it was for me. ) Most people won't take these ideas seriously (let alone do any growth) so it's a waste of time. The only way to share Actualized is to do it after slowly (over weeks and months) building-up a critical mass of interest in somebody who is already predisposed for this work. You don't need to share this channel per se. There are plenty of other teachers and books that talk about the same exact things.

For me it's weed. I still smoke now and then, as it's a jarring way to alter consciousness. But anyways, for two years (Jr & Sr year of college) I smoked 5-6 days per week. After a year and a half of doing it intensely, I became disgusted by it. But I made friends over it, so giving it up took a clever strategy. In the end I was happy to go through the journey as it taught good lessons that eventually lead to self-actualization. In fact weening off weed was one of the first changes I made in Oct 2019 at the beginning of this work. Then came the spiritual rabbit hole starting in Feb 2020 just before COVID slammed us. I began to meditate a lot due to lockdown. Then became inspired to take a journey toward Truth--whatever the hell that is--at the year progressed. Then... Jan 2021: first glimpse of "nothing" on LSD (was terrified yet excited). Mar 2021: Sober awakening that lasted several moments. Since then I've been working with a coach on seduction/dating and showing up to the world in a more authentic way. To be honest this part of my life is more important than a direct spiritual path, even though I tried that. I can't speak for everyone, but I think this was Leo's best video yet. It addresses the human condition of being animalistic. I especially appreciate Leo's vulnerability and honesty about not being fully 'there' yet; I think sometimes we as students of self-actualization tend to delude ourselves into thinking that Leo is above it all, as silly as this sounds. Anyways, I burned through all of my weed. (Craving resolved!) What's a craving you've burned?

That's gonna be challenging! I stopped drinking over a year ago (never had a craving for it anyways). But recently I've picked it up just a little as it's impossible for me to keep up with drunk folk when out on the town. Literally all my friends do it so I've got no choice. Talking to a hyped-up drunk person is like trying to rap battle fuckin Eminem...you're on a totally different level.

@SamC Hey man, I can relate quite a bit actually. I'd peg myself up at green/yellow with some big-time shadow material in the 'belongingness' rung of Maslow's hierarchy, as I got bullied for about five years straight as a kid. I don't know how old you are but I'm 23. Some of these other comments seem wise--I think part of our predicament is a matter of age. (Another way of putting it is relative lack of experience.) Remember to keep the long-term game in mind when you have your setbacks. I'm not sure that I totally understand this, but it sounds like you were hurt when you were younger and this has stunted some of your development. PM me if you'd like. Peace

So I just began part-time work at a health-foods store. They have a gigantic array of supplementary options I've been browsing lately. I already take B12 as I'm a vegan and D3 because I'm in those elevated latitudes. But lately I've been considering respiratory health. In various web searches, I've found that Vitamin-C and NAC (N-Athytl Cystine) have come up repeatedly. Have any of you tried these and if so did you notice better immune health ± less mucus in the lungs? Cheers!

@Godishere Okay, so you're scared shitless. So what? You're fucking God, you can handle it. Look, going through what you did is one of the risks associated with this work. Really, some degree of horror and freight is mandatory upon pursuing consciousness. I know this sounds harsh, but just hang in there. You will develop one hell of a character over the coming months and years. I don't blame you for saying this. Or this especially, lol. To this I would say that in the long-term awakening is cool. But in the short-term it is torturous (especially if you take a strong psychedelic which blasts you there rather quickly). Much love. P.S. What psychedelic did you take?

1960's USA Blue & Orange: *yawns* We are bored, what's next? Green: Wussup wussup, want a hit of this J? You'll chill the heck out Blue & Orange: FUCK NO GO TO HELL Green: Ok, maybe next century :'( But in all seriousness, basically what Leo said. It's not something you can put a date tag on, but rather society is going to drag itself into Green slowly over time. Orange's demise is going to be manyfold, including, just as an example, privacy problems. Isn't it interesting that under the principle of libertarian freedom, we create business systems that end up owning data on each of our subconscious consumption habits (thereby making us less free)? I live in a relatively green city (Bernie Sanders lives here) and it's still pretty damn orange. I think that it's going to start in the cities and then spend outward (already is, of course). What's also interesting is that even Red/Blue/Orange people seem to have caught some Green aspects that 'true' Green people embody; it's fascinating how dominant psychological stages are like a collective flu if you live in a place where it's quite prevalent. I think the countries that are already at the apex will continue to lead. Iceland is very sustainable with its geothermal energy grid. As a geologist, and this is just from the theoretical side (I don't actually know the nuances of processing geothermal energy); that nation can basically just coast off of the fact that their power needs are taken care of. They are also the healthiest nation in the world according to Bloomberg health index (U.S. is 34th). But the thing that the U.S. has is population size (which might or might not help). Who's to say? I'm just riffing out my butt... Let's see what comes of the technology race and climate change. The world changes so non-linearly and unexpectedly that I always feel that 'anything' can happen!

Mother earth, planet earth, the blue marble, Gaia, la terre. This rocky, dirty, dusty, lush ball of magic that we live on ... It's. Just. Beautiful. So complex, yet so simple. It's simply delightful. Take to the forest and grab some soil. Touch and inspect fucking rocks. Maybe you think I'm kidding, but this is actually the most absurdly wonderful gift of existence to me. This why I became a geologist. And with the help of resources like Actualized, I hope to take humankind's understanding of what the earth is doing and our relationship with it to the next level.

@Michael569 Thanks Michael, I am pretty healthy. Strangely I go for runs all of the time with no issue whatsoever; the asthma only kicks in when I'm doing ordinary things.

@JohnnyAb Yeah, I get fatigued pretty often. I'll give C a shot. For the breathing, I have had asthma for most of my life and usually it's because my throat gets quite mucussy. It's just really annoying because it fucks with baseline consciousness in my day-to-day (especially combined with fatigue) so I'm looking into supplements as a possible way to help it. Frankly ripping the asthma inhaler doesn't work anymore and is only a quick fix.

@Tyler Durden You don't actually know how you imagined it. It sounds like you are confusing the teachings. When Leo talks about imagination, he means that literally EVERYTHING (reality itself) is imaginary. Even imagination itself is imaginary, hence you imagining that you imagined a goddamn earthquake. Get it? I'm a geologist by that way, where are you from??

Who said that death is an illusion? Do you know this for yourself? Personally, I don't (although I'm expecting it to be the case, as I've realized other facets of awakening like "everything is nothing," "no free will," and so on). I'd say that until you know personally that death is an illusion, you cannot have a satisfying answer to your question. In the relative sense, yeah: survival is important. I wasn't sure if "survival is bad because it's ultimately an illusion" was an implicit assumption you have based on your post. If it is, I'd drop it, as I used to carry it around myself and it stunted my development for a little while. What's so hard about this work is that many of the ideas that Leo and other gurus talk about are just too advanced to 'get' without proper experience. The mind will not understand the higher mind/spirit ideas without some semblance of mastery in the gross, material domain first.

Facebook is aware of the negativity bias that is hardwired in the human organism (see Jon Haidt's Happiness Hypothesis). Their algorithm is a function of the content you engage in with the most, and because our brains can't help but look for the negative, we end up engaging with such content the most. This then tells the algorithm to show us more divisive, low-consciousness content like before, which compounds over time makes us cynical. Facebook knows that these tactics have a negative ripple effect on on society at large, yet they put business first. The interview below highlights exactly that: Personally I don't deal with Facebook (or Instagram) anymore. It's so toxic that anything is better than it at this point. For all of you "no-fappers": if you think NoFap is great, try going without social media. Once you do, you will have more time to focus on life-purpose and you will feel so much more alive!

Not gonna lie, the positive support for this post has increased my forum use. Check out bullet points #3 and 4: Isn't it stunning the lengths the ego will go to bask in empty glory? I've come to realize that a ton of us on this forum act like enlightened stoic battle soldiers with philosophy PhDs, but we forget to show our human-ness. We are afraid to let others see that we haven't got it figured out. I'm personally many hail-marys behind some of y'all. Here's an idea: Let's try to be students in a classroom, collaborating with and encouraging each other. I think that's how we can reap the maximum possible benefits of this forum.

Ever since I joined this forum in March 2020, I've had very mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it's a blessing that this exists. I'm awfully thankful for the golden nuggets that people drop, be it practical-resource posts, or interesting advice/feedback/conversations. However, there are tons of flipsides to this place. Most of it depends on you, but some of it is pre-given, as forums are open to all players. There's no way I'm going to touch on everything here + some of you may disagree with these points. So please, feel free to add your own thoughts! Traps one may fall into on the forum: The #1 trap: wasting time, compounding into hours, days, and even weeks of lost time Getting triggered and more importantly, not being aware of one's own triggered-ness Trolling, debating, or defending pet-theories out of spite/pride Wanting to have a high post-count (I'm not saying that people with high post-counts actually want this, just pointing out this as a general, natural tendency) Posting just to get self-esteem boosts or to shoot-the-shit, as if this is social media or therapy Worrying about whether or not people will respond to your comments/posts; if you have this fear then don't even post (for your own sake), just observe How to use the forum to get the most out of it: Only use this forum because you are choosing to use it, not out of an unconscious, reactionary habit (I used to have this page bookmarked but dropped it so now I have to consciously decide when to hop on) Stay away from toxic threads (don't let chimp-ery appeal to your lower self; seek that which you want, not what you don't want) Actually learn from those who are wiser than you, do not idol-worship others Detach your heart from the 'outcome' of posts Delete your expectations Dive into new perspectives, even if it's a bit uncomfortable When in doubt about somebody's advice, ask "does this feel right?" (even if their advice is 'objectively good', if it doesn't feel right to you, than maybe you're not ready for it, and that's okay) Give encouragement to others, so long as they're being genuine and not looking for attention (it really makes a difference to people when they feel seen in this work: self-actualization is challenging!) If you feel some connection with another user, PM them! Sometimes you'll make fruitful 1-on-1 conversations and learn even more that way vs. a post Don't take the forum too too seriously, have some fun sometimes! But don't overdo it and become a clown