Meditation vs Masterbation and YouTube

[AndylizedAAY]

So every morning, I plan to get up to meditate but no matter how much sleep I get, I masterbate for 2 hours without enabling a timer and then I don't actually get to meditating for the rest of the day. I even set my alarm on the other side of the room, shake my phone, and still go back to bed while forgetting to enable a timer although I have set a reminder to do that. The thing is that I never watched porn ever. Is there some need that meditation cannot fulfill? Why is it that masterbation and YouTube is my default option if I am bored or don't know what to do? What can I replace masterbation with? The reason I don't block myself from using YouTube is because of productive videos that I don't want to be blocked for. Maybe I can set a certain amount of time for the app blocker within the settings and watch actualized.org on my computer because there is friction with using it anyways and that there are less apps for it. I just need to remember to renable the app blocker when it is appropriate to work so I will need to make a reminder. I want to make meditation the first thing I do but how do I do that and actually meditate effectively? In the short term, I might be distracting myself from my work but i think that meditation can help me become more alert and break bad habits and behaviors in the long run.

Edited November 28, 2022 by AndylizedAAY
I needed to explain my situation.

[WonderSeeker]

Well, mindfulness meditation is what would kill your itch to go masturbate, so of course you masturbate in place of meditation. 

Consider learning mindfulness. You'll find that your urge is linked to a thought or feeling that says "go masturbate" just before you pull the trigger.

11 minutes ago, AndylizedAAY said:

I want to make meditation the first thing I do but how do I do that and actually do so effectively?

I'm gonna challenge you and say that you DON'T want to meditate. Why? Because, you're not doing it! And nobody is going to save you and get you to do it except YOU.

[Majed]

@AndylizedAAY the key here is to keep masturbating. you can not expect yourself to at the same time get rid of bad habits and install healthy habits at once. keep masturbating but also mediate for 10 min a day, not necessarily in the morning whatever time during the day, meditate for 10 min. 

do not change your "unhealthy" habits for now, even though masturbation and some youtube entertainment does no harm if done in the right proportions, but add 10 min of meditation per day, after some time you would want to meditate more. but for now 10 min of meditation a day is doable if you do not have any health issues. 

[AndylizedAAY]

@WonderSeeker

22 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

I'm gonna challenge you and say that you DON'T want to meditate. Why? Because, you're not doing it! And nobody is going to save you and get you to do it except YOU.

I would have meditated today if I didn't need to take a long nap, watch videos, or need to do my homework. Should I just drop the idea that I need to meditate an hour a day? It may seem like I am making excuses but distraction as the ego's favorite defense mechanism seems to be a serious problem. What is it that my higher self wants? 

Edited November 29, 2022 by AndylizedAAY
I wanted to say more about excuses and the higher self.

[AndylizedAAY]

 

6 hours ago, Majed said:

@AndylizedAAY the key here is to keep masturbating. you can not expect yourself to at the same time get rid of bad habits and install healthy habits at once. keep masturbating but also mediate for 10 min a day, not necessarily in the morning whatever time during the day, meditate for 10 min. 

do not change your "unhealthy" habits for now, even though masturbation and some youtube entertainment does no harm if done in the right proportions, but add 10 min of meditation per day, after some time you would want to meditate more. but for now 10 min of meditation a day is doable if you do not have any health issues. 

@Majed Well right now there is no craving to materbate. Why is that? What are actually the triggers and what is determining my response? Also, I cannot seem to point my finger on why it takes a while to start to do homework. It probably has something to do with wanting to improve my life and that I cannot actually find homework relevant to that but sometimes my procrastination is worse than that. What is the underlying condition of having the wrong proportions od doing certain activities? It also takes longer than 10 minutes to actually meditate effectively, what do I do about that?

Edited November 29, 2022 by AndylizedAAY
I wanted to explain about my procrastination.

[AndylizedAAY]

21 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

I'm gonna challenge you and say that you DON'T want to meditate. Why? Because, you're not doing it! And nobody is going to save you and get you to do it except YOU.

@WonderSeeker So then why is it that I don't want to meditate? I can clearly see that it can free me up from mindless distractions and gives me peace of mind when stressed out wiith what I need to do.