WonderSeeker

He doesn't, but here's something powerful I learned from a dating coach recently. In seduction, you need to ask her qualifying questions when you're getting to know her for the first time. Qualify her. You want a certain girl, so show them that through your inquisitive interest. You say you're into philosophy and spirituality, right? That probably means you read a lot. Maybe say something like "Hey, you seem intelligent. What books do you read." Or maybe "Hey, you have a chill vibe; are you spiritual." By qualifying her early, you can rate her on your own personal scale and then decide if you want to date or not. Of course!

@blessedlion1993 Don't worry, just keep practicing. I couldn't understand what you described for a while, but now it makes sense. Once you drop the idea that you're a human who's doing things at a deep enough level, then you'll naturally start forgetting the idea of other people out there (because there aren't any ). If you practice regularly (meditation/binural beats) and take psychs periodically, you'll get it and be like OMG---how?!

1. Education: studying a boatload of different perspectives to gear up for an amazing life purpose in science/philosophy and to be a good human being 2. Psychedelics: used once per every two months as checkpoints and/or climatic moments in goal manifestation and spiritual growth 3. Seduction/attraction: everything from the approach to the bedroom (currently getting coached and it's like I'm starting to see and dance in the Matrix) 4. Health: cleaning up nutrition slowly over time and staying physically active through running to have long-standing vitality 5. Fun: this one is counter-intuitive and may sound misleading; I used to be overly serious, but am now letting go and learning how to make the areas that I'm working on fun for me so that the journey is more enjoyable, worthwhile, and attractive to anybody else who's watching (let's be real: who tf is gonna self-actualize if it looks like a grueling, torturous grind?!)

@Carl-Richard Hey, I enjoy talking to the dude in my bathroom mirror too

Jad is a fire seduction coach; very straight-forward and giving. If you apply what he says, you'll be in good shape. You'd be shocked to know how much your life could improve if you get a decent handle on the seduction/attraction realm, even if it is somewhat egotistical and less spiritual. Cheers! ~~

@peanutspathtotruth I've done work with him and have gotten the results. That's why I shared. I speak from direct experience

@peanutspathtotruth ?

It sounds like we have a similar childhood. I got bullied for years on end. Jad T Jones is pretty high integrity and a good source. Here's a few videos to start with. And my personal favorite:

Purge this crap out of your psyche. Yes, as someone who's been at it for about 2 years, I empathize; I get where you're coming from. But don't you think that this belief could be the cause, not just the effect, of what it's describing? In other words, your little mantra "life is not going my way" gets confirmed when there's data to support it, and so you dig deeper with it. After all, you said that in the past you've come to the same 'conclusion.' Yeah, personal development is hard. You're trying to become your highest self, meanwhile people are nay-saying you and you are likely doing the same to yourself. You get some progress and then come crashing back down and use that as evidence that you're no-good. But that's bullshit; you can develop, you just need the right mindset. As much as you probably don't want another self-help book, Psycho-Cybernetics is really good for purging negative beliefs out of your subconscious mind. I say give that a shot so you can kick this root belief that you can't develop. If you think that you can't, then you might as well not waste the time in trying. Good luck. <3

There's no "trick" to integrating perspectives and fitting them together neatly. It just takes time, trial, and error. For me, noticing and accepting deeply that 'reality is paradoxical' on some of my earlier psychedelic trips helped. Then learning and applying contradictory perspectives through lots of action made the difference (and still is). Bingo.

@Aaron p Good question! Maybe go out into nature and collect some and experiment with them. As a geoscientist with lots of field experience around 'crystals/minerals', I can't say that they put me into different states per se. BUT... hiking, observing rock formations, minerals, sediment, and the systems that they interact with has always imbued me with a sense of child-like wonder. I'm writing a book about it now. But in terms of a spiritual method, I cannot say that 'crystals' have an 'effect' on my state. I have my doubts.

@flowboy Helpful advice, thank you.

I live in a city of about 43,000 people. Most people will read that and say "But sir, that ain't no city!" I digress. For those with real-world experience in more limited locations, what's your advice? Admittedly, I've only just started practicing, having conversations with a few women so far. The vibe has been good and positive, but all of them have boyfriends. Also, I haven't tried night-game yet, only day-game. How would you change your behavior from day-game to better align with how women behave at night?

@siasatmadar In the mid-term, you'll pull through this phase. It can happen in as little as a few days. For me I was depressed just 2 months ago. I had heartache. I felt like I was no good socially and that I'd never get this "women-thing" handled. Now I'm approaching women in public and gaining social momentum by being around people as much as I possibly can. Do your best to be grateful for the experience that you created with that women. It seems like you left her in a better state than you found her, and you got to experience sex for the first time. Good for you! I think as men we tend to be too hard on ourselves. I'd say just nurture yourself for a little while man. Get a notepad and do some emotional journaling to transfer the crap in your head onto paper and then burn the paper. From one brother to another, you've got this.

For starters, I'm a masters student and writing a book (part of my life purpose) that has to do with the geography I'm in, so I'm probably gonna stay for another couple years before transferring to a bigger city. But I get the idea. Just a personal note: I'm sorta pissed that I wasted my undergrad not going out and networking more. I had a lot of social trauma when I was younger, so it's been a long time coming in peeling away the layers to get back to my natural, sexual self. My school is 10,000+ and now that I'm getting solid seduction coaching and just beginning to take action, I plan to talk to lots of girls this fall. @ivankiss Where you at?

@Leo Gura @mmKay Moving is not an option for me. I'm not sure if this will change anything, but I'm a college student in a college town. In the fall there will be a huge influx of people. I've never tried networking before. I'm kicking myself for not asking for Instagrams from the women I've approached because even though they had bf's I could sense that they were still into me. This is good advice, thanks. I've only just started "pickup" and done only a couple of approaches. Both said they were seeing people but were open and really added to the conversation. I get what some of you are saying about "word getting out about this pickup guy," but I feel like that might discourage me from trying. Plus, I'm genuine in my interactions. I am not trying to be this pimpy player-dude, so I don't think it will come off the wrong way, whether it's with individuals or the social community at large. But I'm still a noob at this, so what do I know?!

^That, and simultaneously staying on your purpose. As long as you don't make her your purpose, and you occasionally sacrifice time with her by saying "no, I have to do XYZ in order to pursue my calling," she will find that hot and she will fall for you even harder.

Great Tier-2 content here.

Ken Wilber's 3-2-1 shadow work as well as integral journaling Shadow Dance on Leo's book list (haven't read it yet but assume it works) Meditation and binaural beats can bring up repressed 'stuff' naturally Psycho-Cybernetics, read slowly and implemented correctly, can seriously help too Hope this helps!

@Terell Kirby It's simple. You have the pure intention of adding value to her life. You operate out of principles like, for example, leaving her better than you found her. The difference between conscious and unconscious pick-up, I think, is the degree of purity or transparency you show up with.

@Javfly33 I highly recommend doing a 'blindspots' call with Jad T Jones. He's a very understanding, no-bullshit coach and will point out your weaknesses. Especially if you have an overactive mind. Also, just making conversation with strangers whenever possible helps build momentum. For example, if you're waiting at the bus stop and some dude is waiting too, just say "Hey what's up" or give a compliment and make conversation. You'd be amazed at how fast you can build momentum and then carry that into approaching women. Cheers~

@Zion Pick only the TOP, #1 THING that you want to work on the most and start there. Me too. Then I realized that knowledge without action is like knowing the physical/chemical properties of bubble gum without chewing it. ...so now it's time to take ACTION ACTION ACTION and validate your knowledge. You make a 'definite decision' that you will work on X project for Y months. Commit on paper and tack it up where you will see it every day. Productivity books/seminars will help big-time if you can afford either. Right now I'm in a 6-month program with Jad T Jones, a seduction/productivity guru. Very knowledgable and wise teacher. Maybe some of his stuff will help.

Under what environmental conditions do you do your best creative work? Do you have any unique productivity habits? Special music that you play to get yourself in the right mood/head-space? What are your go-to methods for producing quality work in a timely fashion? I'm writing a book and I'm trying out different music, nootropics, different rooms in the house, etc. Just wondering what other creatives find most helpful. Cheers!

While searching the internet for articles on the concept of emergence, I found this PDF on systems thinking. http://peggyholman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/211001pkSystems-Thinkerarticle.pdf I like how Peggy highlights the differentiate-integrate dynamic that Ken Wilber talks about. The article is also great for tracking your progress in self-actualization. Very often with this work we are plunged into emotional chaos, which means instability (differentiation) that ultimately leads to a higher, more robust integration of oneself. Geeky, but cool!