Osaid

In a painting, everything is one thing. The entire painting is one thing. You imagine the distinctions. In the Mona Lisa, the entire painting is one thing, it is you who projects and creates the distinction of "Mona Lisa" and thinks of it as something separate from everything else in the painting. Everything in that painting completes each other, as one thing. If you painted a vase, the background behind it is necessary in order to create the shape of a vase. And vice versa, in order to create the background, there must be a vase to imply that it is the background of something. Both things are necessary for each other to exist, and both things complete each other, because it is all one thing. Same applies to real life.

Because you are biased towards survival. A pile of shit carries disease and potential harm, whereas a mountain just looks cool.

What if drinking water adds unseen karma for lifetimes? That's just a guessing game. I think the pay-off for psychedelics is very simple: It throws you into a high state of consciousness, without any regard for your level of development. It allows you to experience a high state of consciousness, regardless of whether your ego is ready for it or not, which is why so many people go "crazy" or go through ego backlashes after psychedelics. Normally, you would gradually develop your baseline state of consciousness until reality starts slowly revealing its truth to you, whereas psychedelics force truth onto you. It allows you to bypass years of spiritual practice, but that also makes it harder for you to embody that insight. It's the difference of jumping straight into a cold shower instead of slowly cranking down the temperature from a warmer shower.

Nice, 1 and 2 shifted my consciousness instantly

I'm not sure if having a fetish should prevent you from being able to enjoy normal sex. Maybe go no fap and no porn for a while and see what happens.

Not at first, in the beginning your ego will fight back to maintain its old habits. This is basically a dopamine detox that you've described here. In the long-term, yes you will gain more pleasure. It's a matter of adapting your reward system. Not sure what you mean exactly, but I don't think so, at least not initially. If anything, you will get thoughts pushing you to revert back, until you're fully accustomed to your new way of life. Then, it will subside.

Maybe low energy is because you aren't fully fat adapted, or maybe not enough electrolytes, but try avocados if you haven't. I'm not even vegan but they are so full of fat and energy that it ends up fueling me for the entire day. Also, you should look into intermittent fasting and see if you wanna add it to your diet.

It is weird yea, all so random and arbitrary

To be fair, they really edit up the American version to make it look extremely dramatic, even reusing older scenes and mashing it up in a different order to make it look as combative as possible, which speaks to the fact that it's all about drama when it comes to these shows. The UK version is much calmer if you ever watch it, although there is still validity to your points.

"Man" in this scenario refers to an animated character, not an actual man. I'm saying that you somehow became attracted to features that don't exist in real life, because as you said you don't like real life men, so there is something in the animated character that is attractive which you can't find in real life men.

Your situation is super similar to mine, if that gives you any comfort. I'm also 17 and contemplating this stuff, feeling pretty lost. I feel like I'm interested in so many things, can't really pinpoint what I wanna do with those interests. Kind of like paralysis by analysis. I have feared this as well

https://www.actualized.org/insights/metaphysics-vs-epistemology

I wouldn't overthink it. Anime characters can have certain features that are impossible to emulate in real life, or features that are extra feminine that are in men. You might have somehow become attracted to those features. Sexual attraction can be nuanced like this. Someone can make an anime character that looks a lot like a girl and label it as a "man", it's not as binary as some people think. There is not gonna be some specific label or gender to help define you here. You might wanna take a break from porn or masturbation and see what happens, maybe you are too caught up in sexual fantasies. Otherwise, I'm not sure what it really means, or if it is necessarily bad.

I would take a look at the pros and cons of each activity, and then take action according to that. Why do people pursue that? Why do they pursue the latter? What is the payment and benefit of doing either activity? What does it achieve? Often times, integrating something requires you to fully do that thing. Otherwise, how do you know what it actually has to offer, other than rumors you have heard of it? Perhaps the experience of chasing fame, money and sex is the catalyst for wanting to retreat into a cave. I don't think it's a matter of always doing both, but rather, fully realizing the benefits and limitations of both.

I remember you talking about wild dreams, it's probably caused by your lack of sleep and low quality sleep. It seems like you've associated sleep with something negative or scary, and it is perpetuating itself that way because of that, kind of like a self-fulfilling cycle. Although, I can't say 100% what your problem is or if that is accurate. Here are some basic tips for a good sleep environment: -Keep your room cold. It's better to have your room cool than hot, you sleep better in a cooler temperature -Keep your room as dark as possible, close curtains if you need too -Blue light will wake you up. If you have your curtains open, blue light will come in from outside in the morning and naturally wake you up. This is a normal and natural mechanism, but in your case you wanna go into a really deep sleep so maybe just close your curtains and avoid it as much as possible for now. -Having white noise, such as from a fan, can help significantly in helping you fall asleep -Avoid caffeine -Don't do exercise near sleeping time

For the experience of physical stuff. You can't have two different experiences at the same time, if that's what you would consider to be unbiased. You can't be a dog and a kangaroo at the same time, you have to fully become either thing. If God switched to pure blank, you would say the bias is that there is no physical stuff. But, in order to experience either situation, aspects from each need to be negated. It's also noteworthy to be conscious of the fact that you're ultimately just imagining bias, because you're imagining that there is an experience that is other than what is right now, and that you can't access it. This current experience is all there is. Even hypothesizing about a different potential experience is just extrapolation, because the only experience is your current one. Consciousness wanted to experience you thinking that it is biased, and in order to do that it had to make you imagine some experience of empty blankness that you can't access. Although, it's not like you are unable to experience a "pure blank". I have experienced it before. It doesn't take any extra effort for the universe to experience what it is like to be a human than to be in a state of pure nothingness. "Pure blank" is not some special default state of consciousness that is fundamentally different from normal experiences, it is just another experience in the vast ocean of experiences.

I don't think empty blankness is more "pure" or "original" than any other experience, that's just some bias you've come up with. It's still just one state out of infinity. I think a state of empty blankness simply makes nothingness easier to understand or see, and so you are equating that to being more accurate to nothingness than other experiences. An "endless blankness" is still a manifestation of potential, it is still something that you experience. Going for a walk in the park is as close to nothingness as a state of endless blankness, that's what it means for the dualities to collapse.

I don't see it tbh

I don't think it has much of an affect, at least in my experience. I played plenty of violent games when I was young and it didn't really make me violent or anything, I'm the exact opposite. I think the only way it would affect someone like that is if the person already had issues and the video game provided an ideology that helped encourage those issues to grow. Most people realize that it is just a video game and that everything displayed wouldn't fly in real life. Otherwise, when it comes to the addictive aspect, I think video games are like eating cake or drinking alcohol. It has potential for bad and also good. Enjoy in moderation. I think most people play for the mechanics and plot, not strictly for violence. People usually don't rate games based on how violent they are. The thing with FPS games is that you somehow have to make the game make sense in regards to it being an FPS (First Person Shooter), and generally the idea that comes to mind with that genre is that you shoot things/people, so it is hard to not have it be somewhat violent. I'm sure there are video games that cater to people who like more violent things, but I think it is a niche thing and doesn't necessarily apply to popular violent games such as COD and Assassin's Creed. There probably is a group of people out there who crave violence, and they would enjoy games related to that. We have boxing as a sport after all. But, I don't think most people are focusing on the degree of violence when they pick out a game like COD. I think the much bigger problem with video games is how addictive it can be, rather than how violent it is.

Spiritual benefits are everywhere, even in seemingly mundane or arbitrary activities. You tend to get benefits whenever you put yourself out of your comfort zone, that's what makes you evolve or grow. I can bet even just deciding to clean your room will have a significant spiritual affect. People take such activities for granted. "How you do one thing is how you do everything" Is a quote that comes to mind. Now you have a mindset which allows you to approach people with ease, but that mindset can also be used in other areas of life, not just approaching. Yeah, tackling social stuff like this is a huge hurdle for introverts. Good on you.

I've had weird sexual dreams before. Not with the same sex, but rather with family members. I'm not sure if it is accurate to any of your actual sexual desires, we do a lot of things in dreams that you would never do irl. I had a dream before where I was a serial killer killing people for fun.

lol if you squint it actually just looks like Leo

Intermittent fasting, reducing carbs

Even though the universe cannot lie to you, you can look at truth and become deluded by it. So then, what becomes true is your delusion about reality. A lie is something that describes reality inaccurately, that is what is true about it. If someone tells you "Santa Claus is real", what is true is that someone said some words to you. However, your mind might take that experience, all of which is true, and believe that some magical being named Santa Claus exists somewhere in the world. And so, what also becomes true is your delusion about reality.

Fasting