Osaid

Anxiety is resistance. Reality is one way, if you try to resist reality, anxiety is created. Anxiety is a game you will always lose. Anxiety is created because you are projecting standards onto reality which are impossible to meet. If it was possible to meet, anxiety would cease to exist, because there is nothing to resist. You can't have anxiety without resisting something. Let's say someone is scared of what people think of them and they experience anxiety over it. This person has already shot themselves in the foot, and they will suffer anxiety for the rest of their lives until they decide to stop playing the game they have created. Let's look at the rules they have created in this game: 1. No one can think badly of me 2. I have to control what everyone thinks Do you see now? This game of anxiety is completely unwinnable and unsustainable. It's just silly. Of course your life is going to be riddled with fear and worry and anxiety when you set rules like this up for yourself. You've set up rules for yourself which force reality to be against you. The reason why people experience so much drama and anxiety is because they are constantly setting up impossible little games like this for themselves. The feeling of anxiety is reality telling you "you cannot ignore this facet of me, you need to surrender to me and appreciate me and love me and accept me". You have two choices: 1. Constant emotional suffering because you're deciding to play a game where the rules are rigged against you 2. Realizing your games are unwinnable and getting over it. Alignment with reality, no resistance, no suffering, no silly rules to pertain to. It's time to stop constantly contorting and resisting and tip-toeing around reality. It's not a game worth playing. It's not a sustainable way to live life. When you stop playing these games, reality will welcome you with open arms, and you will think "why the hell was I playing those stupid games before instead of just being at peace here?" Next time you feel anxiety, ask yourself: How am I denying reality? Where is the resistance coming from? Where is reality disagreeing with me? How am I setting unwinnable standards? You can actually purge your anxiety by confronting it this way. When you realize how silly and impossible the rules you set up is, there will be a deep sense of surrender, and a feeling of peace will flow over you when you are finally in alignment with truth and reality. You will realize it is much easier and much more efficient to just go along with reality instead of eternally resisting. Truth is, anxiety is unnecessary. It's primitive. It makes you nervous and fluster over your words, it's not productive. There is no situation in reality where you want to experience anxiety, it doesn't feel nice. You want to feel good, not bad. There is no reason for you to rationalize that anxiety is good or beneficial in some way. Ideally, you don't want it. You would rather have it be removed while everything else stays the same. This is possible to achieve. You might say anxiety is a motivator of some sort, sure, but that's like the most primitive form of motivation ever, and it motivates through pain and suffering, which means it is unsustainable in the long run. You can be motivated without anxiety. That's what you really want.

Yes, I experience yesterday and tomorrow, as imagination. Just as a child experiences Santa Claus as imagination. The difference is being able to see that your imagination is imagination. The experience itself doesn't change, how you perceive it does, it's a recontexualization.

Call it what you want. Present moment is just what I call "existence", or "perception", or "experience", or "God", or whatever "this" is. For me, calling it memories is too dualistic, because it refers to time. Same with things that "happened". I would just call it imagination. You imagine things that happened before. You imagine an identity. You imagine how certain things work. I agree imagination is very fundamental to understanding and perceiving reality, much more than people give it credit for. If you lost a good chunk of your memory, would you still be enlightened? Would you even be the same person? If you lose enough of your memories, you basically die. Similar to when you dream, you might imagine yourself as a knight that slays dragons, with absolutely zero memory or knowledge of your waking state self. In a sense, you (ego) die temporarily. I have yet to fully reconcile how this ties in to death and identity. But nonetheless, it all happens from this one experience, and there are no past experiences that have "happened", all of this is perceived from this one experience now. You are just imagining things on top of the experience, which help you understand the experience. You imagine a past, and that imagination of the past might help you navigate the experience.

my pleasure

I think I get what OP is pointing to. The present moment is absolute and eternal, so by consequence, anything experienced within that has to be absolute and eternal, even if you imagine it isn't. Past is always perceived from now. You can't view the past from the past. Future is always perceived from now. You can't view the future from the future. The imagination "the unicorn I imagined has changed and vanished" is an object/imagination which is only experienced now. And then any imagination of this not existing prior, is also something that is here in the now. The perception of "prior" always only happens now. You can't escape the now. Any perceivable object is always here now and forever, because that is the unescapable nature of the present moment.

So, treating everything as if you are borrowing it

You're honestly putting too much value on other people's thoughts and decisions. A lot of people don't even know what they want. They impulsively make random decisions all the time, decisions that are even bad for them. They are constantly influenced by the environment around them to do bad and unhealthy things. It's not that big of a deal if you step in and offer something, maybe through some manipulative tactic. They have bigger problems to worry about than that. Sometimes you need to force your way into it in order to show your value to someone. You are constantly manipulating anyways, that is your existential bind, might as well do it for a somewhat decent cause. In the case of PUA, you need to push your way into it in order to make the girl realize your value as a man. You are trying to give them value, you just need some method to make them actually consider you first. You guys might click together. You might save her from a shittier relationship. Who knows. You're not trying to be malicious or anything, it's not a big deal. The same people you're worried about offending or being too manipulative towards are also being manipulative in other areas of life, and they probably don't even give it a second thought. And secondly, there are probably a large amount of bad influences manipulating them, but they don't even care about them. Fast food commercials, bad information online, their parents, etc. Overall, don't sweat it, there are bigger things to be worried about. People don't really know what they want and don't want. You're afraid of using fear? Imagine a cat that is walking on the road, and it is about to be hit by a car. Lets say you scream at the cat and scare it, so that it runs out of the way of danger. Was using fear there wrong? Should I feel bad about it? Like, no. The cat is probably scared by about 1000 other things on a daily basis anyways. Not a big deal, and it actually ended up saving and benefitting the cat despite you using a malicious tactic like fear. That's life.

All the love you need is within you, of course. Where else would it be? You are the only one that can understand and love yourself completely, because you are yourself. You're just using other people as a proxy to feel bad about yourself, but in the end, it's YOU deciding that you should feel bad because someone thinks a certain way. There is no reason for you to delegate your self-worth to what other people think, it is just an arbitrary survival mechanism you have unwittingly taken on. Reclaim your authority. The only one who can judge is YOURSELF. ITS ALL YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. You judge yourself for being judged by others. You judge yourself for being spited by ignorant people. You use other people as an excuse to feel bad about yourself. This is the real tragedy. Learn to love yourself. You know yourself better than anyone because you are you, and you know that you deserve love, so love yourself. Give yourself permission to do that much at least. You can literally decide to love and accept yourself right now, but you feel resistance because your ego desperately wants to cling to the game you've created. You can be less messy and less ugly. You can strive towards better versions of yourself. Just don't delude yourself into thinking you can fully control people's minds and perception of you in the process. Even after improving yourself there are going to be people who think you haven't improved at all, and you need to be ok with that instead of trying to manipulate what they think of you. This isn't even a bad thing. This weeds out people you wouldn't want in your life. It gets rid of people who are unable to accept you. It gets rid of people who are unable to mesh with you. It's a natural filtering system. If you are constantly trying to maintain a false image in order to keep your status in some group, it is a parasitic relationship because it makes you suffer needlessly, and it will eventually fall apart because it is based on falsehood. You're being too clingy, just learn to love yourself without all the extra trouble and baggage, go straight to the source which is YOU.

thank you for the wisdom, me

Haha yeah this is super accurate ime Eventually you reach a breaking point where you're like "fuck it, it's time to start standing up for my desires and my own emotional wellbeing." Enough fear. Confront what you fear out of love for yourself. The anxiety and fear IS the low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is just a lack of love for yourself. When you have anxiety over calling someone or entering a social situation, you are putting that other person over your own desires and well-being. When you're scared of saying no to someone, you're doing it to prevent them from feeling bad or giving a negative response, but notice that in order to do this you are making yourself feel bad for them. This is parasitic, in the sense that you are suffering while they are gaining, because you feel some unfounded obligation to control their feelings and what they think about you. You are making yourself a doormat. If you loved and respected your own desires, you would not do this. It boils down to a lack of love and care for your desires and emotional well-being. People are deathly afraid of social events because the standards they set themselves are so unrealistic and impossible to maintain. It's basically guaranteed that someone will think badly of them if they go to a lot of social events, so they are riddled with anxiety because they cannot accept that reality and instead decide to run away from it forever and stay in denial.

There are many ways to approach this. I would say this post of mine only highlights about one or two mechanisms behind fear and anxiety. Just from this, I would contemplate a few questions, like: Why am I scared of going to prison? When was I not scared of going to prison? Was there some moment in my past or childhood that made me more afraid of going to prison? (maybe someone threatened to get you in trouble with the law). When I encounter a situation which flares up this anxiety of mine, what am I imagining about the situation which is creating that anxiety? How realistic is that imagination? Why am I imagining that? Is what I am imagining really something I should be afraid of? Something to consider is that most people have a fear of going to prison, to some degree, whether consciously or subconsciously. No one wants to go to prison. In that sense, your fear is somewhat reasonable. It's just that, for whatever reason, your fear has reached heights which are disproportionate to reality. It's like someone locking themselves inside their house because they are afraid of getting struck by lightning. I think you are probably aware by this point that it is irrational, though, I'm just making sure to point this out. Your imagination allows you to suffer things which have not happened yet, or even things that will never happen. This is how anxiety is created. But first, you need to believe in your imagination. You need to buy into it. For some reason, you are believing in your imagination that you will get sent to jail, even though you've probably never been to jail. Reality is different from what you imagine, yet you still imagine it. The truth of the matter is, you don't know what is going to happen. You don't know if you are going to prison or not, you're just assuming that by default for some reason. You don't even know how the laws work. It would be just as valid to just make up a law in your head and treat it as a real law. Think about how many times you expected something from a certain situation, and then something completely opposite happened. You're just imagining a scenario of you going to prison, and then believing in it, and that is causing you anxiety. Anyone would feel fear if they actually believed in a scenario like that. The difference is, they don't believe something like that is gonna happen to them, but you do. Reality is very unpredictable and perspectival. Your fears are literally shaping how you perceive situations, similar to how you can either see a bunny or duck in that one optical illusion. There are many situations where you expected something to be a certain way, but it was actually completely different. The reason why you are experiencing fear of you going to jail is because you are assuming things which are not real, and you don't even question it. For the scenarios you fear, you just assume that you might go to jail for something. I understand that there are many laws, it's a domain which is hard to fully understand, but that doesn't really give you the green light to just assume you're gonna get sent to jail. Your fear is acting as a placeholder for your lack of knowledge. You don't understand it, but you still assume your imagination is accurate. This is your bias and unrealistic standard which you are projecting everywhere. Of course you're gonna have anxiety when you are assuming by default you are going to be in trouble with the law if you don't act a certain way. You are fearing the situation you are imagining, not the situation itself, that is how you fear things which haven't even occurred yet. Imagination can be inaccurate. It can be fantastical. Why do you trust it so much? Why do you give it so much authority? Lack of knowledge creates space for fear. Fear is a defense mechanism to make up for lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge means that some part of reality is left unknown, and when something is left unknown it potentiates danger. The thing is, your ego has a strong bias towards survival. It is going to assume "danger" not "safety", even if it is unreasonable or might not be true. Your ego has a very cutthroat safety mechanism. Next time you feel anxiety about going to jail over something stupid, I want you to pay attention to the what you are imagining which is causing you anxiety in that moment, and then realize that you actually do not know what is going to happen. What you are imagining is just that, imagination. Your imagination is not actually occurring in that moment, or any moment. You might as well imagine a unicorn in there too. When has your imagination of a situation been 100% accurate? You don't know the laws, you're just assuming. Think back to all the times you were scared of going to jail and then in the actual experience itself nothing happened. Really feel into that feeling of not knowing. Then, actually do the thing that you are scared of doing, and once it's over and you aren't in jail, take note of that. You were wrong. You were panicking over something that is completely wrong. Really let that sink in. Do you really want to let your imagination run your life like that? You might as well imagine a boogeyman under your bed too. Having anxiety over this is impractical and unproductive. It's not gonna make you better at avoiding the law, it's just going to worsen your quality of life overall. Prioritize not having anxiety over rationalizing whether it makes sense to have anxiety or not. Above everything else, it's better to just feel good and be at peace. Just remember, whenever you feel anxiety, it is because of some inaccurate perception of reality. It's not worth even contemplating or pursuing. The structure of anxiety is the same, but the content might be different. This is always a possibility, therefore the only option is to let go and surrender, or continue to try to resist something that will always be a part of reality. You might lessen or increase your chances of getting caught, but the truth of the matter is, you are never going to eliminate this aspect of reality, and your ego mind will always worry about it until you decide to surrender to it. Surrendering means, realizing that there absolutely nothing you can do that will change this. When you realize this, it makes things very simple, because then all you have to do is stop needlessly suffering and worrying over it. At that point it just doesn't make any sense to worry over it. This is what surrendering and accepting is. Do you really want to suffer over things that haven't even happened? Things you didn't even do? Come on now, how much more authority are you going to give to your imagination before you realize how unrealistic and unproductive it is? Ask yourself. why are you not having anxiety right now about the fact that you are inevitably going to die at some point? Everyone dies since everyone is human, but you aren't having anxiety over death when you live your everyday life. You're not having anxiety over death when you're at the club with your friends. It's because everyone has accepted and surrendered to the fact that they will eventually die. They have realized it's not worth constantly stressing over, and that all that will do is lower your quality of life. Now do this with your fear of jail. You can't go back in time and change what you did. Either you stop worrying, or continue to sabotage yourself over something that is impossible to change, your choice. Weigh all your options. There are legal and illegal ways of doing things. And make sure you don't have any anxiety while you do this, cause anxiety is unnecessary suffering. You can avoid things without fearing them. Even in radical and extreme situations, anxiety is just needless suffering, do you see? You're not gonna rationalize or logic your way into anxiety. You're not gonna be like "I need anxiety in this situation" or "I want anxiety". Anxiety is always just an unconscious byproduct of inaccurate perception. If you take psychedelics, are you gonna worry for the rest of your life if some authority is gonna catch you for it? At a point, that worry becomes unproductive and detrimental to your overall quality of life. Maybe for the first few weeks or month it is somewhat reasonable, but at a certain point it just become obsolete and unnecessary. Common sense and reason should kick in and tell you, "Ok it looks like nothing is actually gonna happen regarding this. And even if something does happen, I have no way of influencing or predicting it. I can either stress myself out for the rest of my life or just be at peace with it at this point and move on with my life". It's like living the rest of your life constantly worrying about a meteor striking you. Here are your rules that you have created for yourself 1. I have to have every single law memorized 2. I have to manage and control every single possible human being that might perceive my actions as illegal Do you see why there is so much discord and resistance in your reality now? These rules are unmanageable. Surrender. Stop playing unwinnable games. Any form of anxiety is something that needs to be contemplated and purged. This is definitely a fear someone who overthinks and stays in their head a lot would have. You don't really understand how things work, so you're left to assume it and come up with crazy stories in your head. Next time you feel like you're doing something illegal but you know it is completely reasonable, just go for it. Use that feeling of anxiety as a guidepost for the phobia you need to purge. Every time you stand up for yourself or do something that gives you anxiety you should think "Wow I just stood up for myself and my emotions and wellbeing. I finally gave myself the love and respect I deserve". And also, take very good note of what actually happens, you didn't go to jail. No one was even bothered by you. Hell, they were probably super nice to you. Start realizing that your imagination of the situation is completely wrong and that you cannot accurately predict what people are thinking. You are not a psychic. Stop kidding yourself. It might even help to have someone else, a friend or family member, do those things in front of you. If it is reasonable and you know you are not doing something malicious, go for it. It's just gonna make you stronger as a person. Have more trust and faith in yourself. You are not a criminal. You are not someone who wants to commit crime. You know this very well. Start acting like it. If you're not a criminal, why are you so scared of jail?

salmon avocado eggs

Ego is identity and self-image. Most people maintain their identity and self-image through fear, and that fear causes people to suffer. The ego can use any sort of delusion and suffering to perpetuate its survival. It is possible to undo a lot of these mechanisms in order to turn yourself into a more grounded and selfless person, but it takes time. Most people figure out that 90% of their identity is built on fear and suffering and delusions, and so the demonization begins.

The best way to predict the future is to create it To be free of fear is to be full of love Love yourself instead of loving the idea of someone else loving you Every end is a new beginning Perception creates possibility, and possibility creates reality Change your perspective and the world will change for you

Recently, yes. Eventually you will get sick of your own complacency and unwillingness to stand up for yourself. You might reach some sort of breaking point where you get really annoyed by your complacency and fear, like some big life decision, that's what happened to me at least. If you love yourself and respect yourself then you will get up and do what needs to be done in order to forge the best version of yourself. You will do it out of love for yourself and gratefulness towards what life has currently handed you. Either you start working on yourself now, or you wait for life to force you into a situation where you have no choice but to work on yourself. When you start working on yourself, when you start confronting what you fear, do it out of love and respect towards yourself. If you wanna become someone who changes the world, you gotta confront what currently makes you uncomfortable. Use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards what you need to forge yourself into the best version of you. In the framework of the Hero's Journey, the things you fear are the dragons that the hero must slay, the bigger the fear the bigger the dragon. But once you slay it, man do you become a much stronger person. It's time to start sticking up for yourself. Show your dreams and ideas some love. You've been neglecting your desires this entire time. Baby steps. At least build some discipline for yourself. Start waking up early. Start researching your interests and what you want to do. Get serious about it before life forces you to get serious about it. Start pre-emptively challenging yourself. Don't let life throw challenges at you, make your own challenges for your own sake. This way, when life gives you lemons, you will already be so skilled and qualified that you can easily make lemonade out of it, and brush past it like it's nothing. This idea of starting to be "serious" and being "disciplined" might scare you, that's good. Ask yourself, why the hell are you scared of turning your life into something amazing? You're scared of a putting a little bit of discipline in your life? Haven't you waited long enough? Aren't you sick of constantly getting worried and scared about improving yourself? Notice that fear, and be angry that you have that fear, and focus on getting rid of that fear by confronting what you fear. Like I said, use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards the dragons you need to slay.

Expose yourself to situations where you disagree with people and deal with angry people. Customer service jobs are a good start. Notice the resistance you feel when imagining that scenario, disagreeing with people and dealing with angry people. That feeling right there runs your life right now. Think about that. Think about it until it makes you feel sick of yourself. Why are you so weak? Why are you so scared of something so stupid? Why do you put other people's emotions over your own? Where is the love towards yourself, towards your emotions and your own will? What about your own desires, dude? How long will you suffer and live in anxiety at the whims of other people until you get sick of it and decide to start treating yourself right and showing yourself the love and respect you deserve? You have abandoned your emotional well-being and you have delegated it to the whims of other people. It's time to show your own well-being some love and care, isn't it? Aren't you tired of willingly letting other people run over your own dreams and desires? Think of yourself an emotionally abused child that has been neglected love and care, it's time to raise that child well and stand up for it. When you say no to others, that is because you love and respect yourself. The next time someone asks you to do them a favor you don't have any obligation to do, say no. Start saying no when you actually feel like it, even for simple things. And take pride in saying no. And feel the love and respect towards yourself in that moment. I suffered from extreme people-pleasing. I remember at work my manager was constantly changing my shift to long work hours, "can you come in on this day? can you stay until closing today?". I was deathly afraid to say no, that's how timid I was. I forced myself to suffer long hours as if I was happy to volunteer for them simply because I didn't want to risk my manager being annoyed by me or not liking me, do you see how insane that is? After a while, I finally said no one time, and I felt so damn amazing. It's like the love and respect I was denying myself this entire time was finally granted to me. I'm finally standing up for myself, for my emotions, my well-being, and that's ok. It's okay to say no. The amount of dread and annoyance I experienced from having my shifts constantly prolonged and shifted really woke me up. One day you will probably get sick of it, the anxiety and dread around this issue, and you will come to a breaking point, and that is where you will realize the love you have been denying yourself and you will repent and you will begin to finally start standing up for yourself.

I mean, if you asked Connor Murphy if he was okay, he would probably say everything is perfect as well These posts make me think he is in a state in which we can't rely on him to be aware of whether things are going perfect or not perfect. Or maybe he is perfect and well aware, just extremely emotional and ecstatic for whatever reason, probably coming off a high or something.

I did think his recent blogs were odd and unlike his previous ones. I just assumed he was turning a new leaf and being more open and emotional and abstract. The insta stuff does seem more unhinged though

When he first started popping up I saw 2 or 3 clips of him and thought he was a total moron. There was some clip of him berating someone who had depression which rubbed me the wrong way. Now that he's basically all over social media, I've been forced to watch him, and I don't dislike him as much, I understand him more now. A lot of what he says is purposefully provocative and lacks nuance, so that he can elaborate more on it later when people try to debate him. He is obviously a reactionary, and a troll to a certain degree, and that part of him is very entertaining and funny, and he is aware of that as he laughs at himself sometimes. But you know, it's called marketing, being a polarizing reactionary is one way to market yourself. As others here have said before, he embodies the positive aspects of the lower stages very well, considering he has lots of money. And he pushes that to people who have not developed it well. He says what a lot of people think but are scared to say, and that attracts people in and of itself. It seems that the lower stages are suppressed in western media nowadays, and Andrew Tate is feeding into that void. I think a big thing that separates someone Andrew Tate from the typical hardcore self-help gurus like David Goggins is the virality and reactionary nature of the way he marketed himself. Even if you're not interested in making money or doing self-help or whatever, Andrew Tate is still entertaining despite that. He has basically crafted an entire character around himself. He has his own unique way of wording things and giving advice. From my perspective, he is a call to action in regards to how politically correct and timid people have become in society. He uses the politically correct culture to his advantage, as they constantly give him coverage because they are offended or want to debate with him. I don't agree with all of what he says or how he even presents it, but there is truth there, and I have to respect the desire to go against the politically correct culture which creates fear around controversial opinions.

Maybe, either video is not that difficult for me if I focus on it. Leo himself has to do the exercise and bring himself into that state of consciousness as he explains it, so the state is there from him in that video as well, I just have to tap into it. One has more order and intention behind it (guided exercise), and one is more sporadic and chaotic (live awakening), maybe different people will benefit more from either. In general I've noticed such moments sprinkled throughout Leo's other videos too, but these few videos seem to be much more focused on bringing out that awareness. And also these videos focus on different insights. The live awakening feels like a barrage of insights at once, whereas the guided exercise focuses on this aspect of "You are god alone by yourself". Both will definitely bring your awareness to God, but perhaps a different flavor of God.

I achieved something similar with his exercise in the "Guided exercise for realizing you are God" video

Sounds like immersive/maladaptive daydreaming, or some variation of it. It happens to me too sometimes, but I don't really find it too bothersome. It's just an amusing daydream to me, although it does make me feel narcissistic at times. Do you have similar thoughts when drifting off into sleep?

It's really weird. I feel really high and happy listening to music, it amplifies emotions in a really enjoyable way, but its just sounds arbitrarily put together. It doesn't make sense why I would enjoy it, but I do anyways, there's no reason or logic to enjoying it, it's primitive in that sense. What's even weirder is that our brain has this capacity to enjoy music, like why did we even evolve to enjoy music? Music seems to detach me from my old confined and limited perspective. It adds "intelligence" or "emotion" to my experience, and those didn't previously exist in the experience. Music doesn't require any logic or reasoning to enjoy, so it's a very pure and intuitive form of enjoyment. You enjoy music for the sake of music, not some for some ulterior goal or motive in the future.

grief seems to be the most accurate term there