weareacouple

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Posts posted by weareacouple

  3. Posted

    1 hour ago, Lento said:

    @weareacouple You're thinking thousands of years ahead of other people. Nudity is still not appropriate for the standards of our societies. Even Facebook and YouTube don't allow a fully naked body.

    I think your marriage is incredible as it is. You're way ahead of your time. I still find it hard to understand why you would need to go naked in the streets. Yes, the human body is a blessing, not a shame. But not everyone understands that. Please try to understand that, for your own sake. Because if you poke that issue, it'll poke you back, and you may not like it. Centuries of brainwashing are not easy to unravel.

    It's like trying to make a baby run a 10k marathon.

    but wouldn't you agree that a marathon starts with just one single step?? No one has ever accused us as being a couple that does not stand up for our beliefs. maybe it is the fact that people say that nudity is not appropriate, however no one ever explains WHY. I know it is not on the same level, but at one time no one could explain why a black person could not sit wherever they wanted to on a bus, so one day a woman decide that she WAS going to sit anywhere on a bus and history changed. WELL, my husband and I are just now going to announce our "sit anywhere on the bus" moment and go completely naked as a couple (face and all) on the very public site of Craigslist in the Rants and Raves section next Monday night (2-17) at 10:00pm (Chicago) time and post our rant about society not accepting nudity, with no good reason. Just like everyone else on the internet, you will be able to view (or not) public nudity and we will see how the public accepts it. We will also be posting on here to let everyone know the reactions, first hand. Until then, feel free to give your comments or predictions of what we are going to do.  

  4. Posted

    15 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

       I could be wrong, but if you do this, you're risking a ban. I think it's called splintering the community, and recruiting members to outside websites. It's not a good way to go.

       If you were serious in resolving these issues you and you husband perceive, you wouldn't be mostly here, you're be resolving it where you're at with him face to face. If you're not serious in helping yourselves out, don't distract other people here. We're serious about self-actualizing, and time is precious.

    It may not agree with most but we would actualize a world that would accept the nudity of the human body

    act.jpg

  5. Posted

    31 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

    To me, it seems like there is some deep religious conditioning that is being worked through. I grew up in a fundamental catholic environment and received a lot of religious conditioning on sexuality. For many years, I tried to reconcile that. I tried to understand and make sense of it. At a deeper level, I was trying to figure out who I was and how I fit in society. It was really easy for me to slip into religious constructs. This was a very contracted existence, yet it didn't seem so until I expanded beyond it and looked back on it.

     To me, you seem to be attracted to the dramatic. In regards to growth, the dramatic can be helpful to break us out of a contracted state - yet it can also have the opposite effect in re-enforcing the contraction. This is what I see happening here. This experiment has an underlying energy of confirmation bias - which would only re-enforce one's immersion into their own contracted story. The fundamental question I would ask is whether I want to stay contracted within a particular story or whether I want to be free and grow beyond that story. 

    Another approach would be to enter a new, novel environment that is very different than one's conditioning. Imagine someone's wordview was based on the Die Hard movie series. This is the only thing they have been exposed to their entire life. With this conditioning, they would perceive the world as very dramatic and antagonistic - in which men are valiant protectors. If this person wanted to expand their view, going to see Die Hard 6 is counter-productive. It will only re-enforce their pre-conceived view. It would be much more productive to see a very movie with a very different theme - such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

    If you decide to go the route of posting naked photos on Craiglist, it's best not to connect the actualized forum to naked online photos. It wouldn't be a good fit for the forum. 

    we are in agreement that only when we expand our view, will we expand our thoughts and beliefs. 

    NO, if we do the CL "experiment" we would not relate it back to this forum in any way. The Craigslist readers/viewers would not be told that is an experiment we are discussing on this forum/thread. Only the readers of this thread would know when and where the Craigslist posting would be taking place. maybe get a "real time" thread going for us to keep everyone informed as to the reactions to the posting. 

  6. Posted

    23 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    The title of the thread assumes nudity, porn and masturbation is considered “bad behavior”. This is a relative judgement. 

    Last summer, I visited a nude beach. Nudity was wonderful behavior. 

    Serotoninluv, 

    You, Me and husband and probably several others on this forum may agree that there is nothing wrong with nudity however can we also agree that (for some yet unexplained reason) most of society has an issue with it. For my fellow Christians who think nudity is shameful, I remind them that (from the Bible} Jesus allowed himself to be stripped naked to display his naked body on a cross, thinking that he would be ashamed and he made no mention that he was the least bit ashamed (sorry romans). Yet those that say they follow Jesus would have someone arrested for walking into one of their churches naked. 

    THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD TEST TO SEE HOW SOCIETY AXCEPTS NUDITY...since those who are on Craigslist are probably a good cross section of society, it would be interesting to see what the reaction would be if my husband and I posted completely naked pictures of ourselves. I am talking about full body (face and all) pictures and ask people to respond with their acceptance of nudity in public. We would post on here when we are going to do it, so the followers of this thread could follow along with the results. We would even go as far as to post the pictures in the Craigslist for the city in which we live just to prove that we are serious about the issue. After I have typed this, it really does seem like a pretty crazy thing to do (and my husband will think I am completely nuts) however it maybe a good way to go public with the nudity issue and if nothing else, will give us all more to discuss on this thread. I am a woman (so I reserve the right to change my mind on this LOL) but what does everyone out there think? Would it be a good test? What do you think the results would be? Is it worth doing?  

  7. Posted

    it is like anything else that you do, if playing with yourself is causing issues in your life, yes you maybe need to make some adjustments. If you need outside help doing that, fine go get help, if you can cut back on your own, that is fine as well. As a women I can't think of a reason that it would effect me negatively, so reaching down my jeans and fingering myself whenever I have a desire does not have a lot of down side. That is probably not the same for you guys who need to get an erection to preform with your mate. This may not pay that well with some out there, but we women need to do our share in keeping things as exciting as what our mates are watching in the porn movies. I can't think of what it would be like if I was the type to just open my legs and lay there while my husband pumps me until he explodes in me and then roll over and fall asleep. If that is your sex action, you can't blame your husband or boyfriend for jacking his cock to hot porn.  

  8. Posted

    36 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    @weareacouple Going from your response, it seems the ‘addiction’ if you will, is to thought and or attention. Keep in mind, I am commenting relative to your stating of the presence of addiction. In the sense, the usage of the word denotes a problematic experience, though you aren’t articulating the “problem”. The sex life seems more common to me than that word usage and explanation.  This might be counterproductive to experiencing greater joys of Self. It would ‘make sense’ if it resonates in feeling, though there might not be an understanding of the feeling, if there isn’t the direct experience to relate it to. It would point to a trail of breadcrumbs, if you will.  The intuition might be ‘communicating’ “that there is more”. Wether that is a “problem” is entirely your subjective experience though. Sex wise, keep rockin. :)

     

    Hi Nahm, your comments are noteworthy and I would invite you to look at it this way....take the relationship that my husband and I have together away....and you have two individual sex addicted people that most likely would be in damaged relationships or no relationships at all and just fucking anyone that happens to walk by. This is a forum and we love the twists and turns that people take the threads, however I really don't think the title of this thread has really been address...for instance, there is a reason why there isn't a row of vibrators and dildos at Walmart and Target however I am sure most of us women have one in one fashion or another.  

  9. Posted

    23 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

    I suppose from a traditional Christian perspective, the sexual behavior described in this thread might be considered "addicted" or "crazy". Yet to me it's pretty standard stuff. Compared to what I was exposed to in polyamory communities, it's relatively tame. Beginner to low intermediate kinky levels. 

    It's cool to see that you are intensely sexually active together after being together for 25 years. There is a lot more to explore. 

    If you are into voyeurism, I'm curious if you've engaged with any polyamory / swinger's environments as a couple. You wouldn't necessary need to have sex with anyone else - there are entry-level opportunities. To me, the environment of most video arcades is crude with a creepy vibe. I'd much prefer other environments for voyeurism. Yet to each their own. 

    yes we have been very involved with that life style over the years and found them t be very enjoyable. Yes, you are completely correct that the adult video arcade is very crude and back alley (although this was in the back of a very well run adult products store) but that was the attraction for us at the time. Mainly it was guy that were looking for a place to jack off while watching porn and we gave them the real thing to jack off to. 

    Since we have not been on here that long, I figured that we needed to keep it to the PG13 level however we could get into some real "sexual conversation and experiences and I guess since you are the moderator of this forum you will have to let everyone know where to draw the line.  I was amazed since my husband only started this thread a few days ago that it has gotten as many views as it has gotten, however I am not surprised that the people of this forum are interested in reading along with for most is a taboo subject. 

  10. Posted

    because he and I have been together for 25 years and we know each other so well and have made certain agreements such as never turning down our partner when their urge to have sex is pressuring them. Since most of the time it only takes a couple of minutes to also getting "into the mode" it all works out anyway and if, for some reason, we don't have equal interest at the time, it is not the end of the world to "go along with" a hard fucking to help your partner get their release. I am sure there has been 100s of times over the years when I got him hard and mounted him that he may not have been 100% into it. If any issues come up it would have to be when we move our sex action out of just he and myself. For instance, in the video arcade sex that I mentioned earlier, it can be a pretty risky situation. We both got completely naked in one of the video booths and once we got each other aroused, we walked out of the booth and to the end of the small hallway of video booths. it did not take long to catch the attention of the guys walking around and at that point anything could have happened and sometimes you just have to let it happen  

  11. Posted

    5 hours ago, Nahm said:

    @weareacouple Thanks for sharing another story, they are interesting...but do you have an answer to my question, or no?

    Perhaps there is no addiction, but a cover for the voyerisom being read here?

    If so, there’s no problem with wanting people to know how great your sex life is.

    If that statement is unsettling....how, why? 

    That likely brings to mind the more obvious question....exactly who are these people you speak of, who say sex porn & masturbation is “bad behavior”?

    I’m wondering, if those are natural & fine, and a lens of “Biblical” is what’s underlying. 

    Biblical, or an interpretation of the Bible, is often paradoxically used, to judge others or one’s self. 

    What if the Bible has no truth at all, but it makes the sex feel taboo, in believing that it inherently does? This would kick the voyerisom up a notch, relative to your perspective of your friends which “judge you”. Maybe they aren’t.  In that case, there is also no problem, no “addiction”, sans to diversion perhaps. But no one else is harmed in this. 

    If any of this is resonating, maybe there’s a loop...I judge, project, rectify (feel better about it via sex), then judge self for that ...repeat. 

     Maybe not. Actually, definitely not. 

    Also, somewhat related to this...have you experienced The Mindfuck? The reality sized one? If so, in terms of feeling, sensation, consciousness daily, how would you compare this “after life” of it, to the pleasure of the almost constant sex?

    if you are using the word addiction as "an almost impossible urge to control a behavior", YES, I know my husband and I would both call it an addiction to achieve the climax "high". Just as drug addicts have use different drugs to achieve their high, we will admit to doing some pretty crazy things (including voyeurism in reverse or being watched). The people we talk to about it (and as you know by now, we will talk to anyone about it) are close friends in (and out of) our Christian community. We do not believe that the Bible looks down upon porn, masturbation or nudity, but it is the interruption by people that is the real issue. Just as those guys stood and watch my husband giving his cock to me from behind, I also believe that those same friends that condemn our actions (if they could do it anonymously) would also stand a watch the same action. Reaching the level for Mindfuck is a level the many (if not most) do not reach during the act of sex. Or maybe a better way to put it would be, they do not allow themselves to reach. It is a level that (I will confess) that is not reached often by my husband and myself either, but when we give it the time, it is truly another level of climax. The best way that I can explain it is, not only my pussy is getting fucked but also my mind and my complete body goes into complete and extended climax.   

  12. Posted

    13 hours ago, Nahm said:

    @weareacouple Welcome to the forum :)

    What distinctions do you guys make from ‘we have a healthy sex life’, to arrive at ‘we have an addiction’?

    I am not sure if we described our sex life as Health or Great, however we would consider having uncontrollable sex with your spouse both healthy and great! That being said, I do know what you mean and respect your statement. I know it has been said millions of times by addicted people, "I have control over my addiction, I can stop if I really want to and it is not hurting me or anyone else". Meanwhile, their life is going down the drain and usually taking loved ones with it. In our case however, the previous statement is true, but it is only because we are married to each other. Yes, I would agree that many out there would consider our sex actions to be "weird", but that is probably the only way they are being effected. We recently had sex in a Pure Pleasure Adult Store back in their video arcade area in front of 3 or 4 guys getting  live sex show and I don't think anyone was harmed by our actions and it was a pretty wild experience. 

  13. Posted

    HI EVERYONR, this is the wife half of weareacouple and my husband did tell me that he started a thread on here and I have finally had time to check it our and WOW it seems that there is a lot of interested in sex addiction, porn, masturbation, nudity and everything that is associated with them. Not only the number of people brave and open enough to post thoughts and replies, but also the high number of views.

    I do agree with everything my husband posted concerning our sex life while we are together and also when we are alone. I do think that the use of porn should be used with extreme care because (just like a drug) it can pull you into an addiction that is hard to come back from. There is no question (for myself) that watching porn heightens the climaxing experiences and achieving a squirting climax is much easier when using a powerful vibrator and porn. I know it also helps my husband get those ongoing climaxes when he is alone as well.     

  14. Posted

    5 hours ago, Shin said:

    The reason porn and masturbation are «bad» are only because it's a waste of energy for a few fleeting moment of pleasure.

    It isn't morally wrong, and even if it were, that would be relative to a specific point of view.

    You have to test it empirically (and not just for a week), to see why we say those things.

    Debating about it is the same as talking about spirituality, nothing is really in your direct experience, it's just stories that you agree or not in your head.

    Those stories counts for nothing, direct experience is everything.

     

    with due respect shin, I don't think society looks down on porn and masturbation because the people who are doing them are wasting their time,

  15. Posted

    We have both said that it would be very difficult to have the addiction that we have without being married to each other. We also agree that it must be very difficult to be married to a sex addicted person if you do not have the same sex attraction. 

    We handle desensitization the same way that other couples should (but usually don't) handle it and that is to continuously keep sex interesting and for us we have agreed that there is nothing that is off the table (as long as it is legal).  

  16. Posted

    @SickLuvI will try to answer your questions in the order you asked them:

    when I am with my wife, unless we are very tired, I am usually good for a twofer with only the arousal I get from my wife and her talents. My wife can pretty much go non stop for as much as I can give her. we never turn each other down for sex at any time. If I need help keeping up with her, Viagra is usually my drug of choice. I have experimented with several different over the counter supplements.

    yes we both agree the sex drive started when we were very young

    yes wasted most often

    yes we have missed days but not too often

    yes we are always experimenting for a higher rush from sex and that includes masturbation 

    with the right person we believe strongly in tantra experiences from sex

  17. Posted

    @Johnny5

    3 hours ago, Johnny5 said:

    Well, as you can see, the responses of this forum will be something of a mixed bag.

    Probably to be expected, but I sincerely hope they won't chase you off.

    I'd love it if they could take in your perspective and use it to liberate their own hangups, instead of them trying to "convert" you or anything. This place can be nasty like that.

    Be well! :)

    We realize the subject is pretty explosive and we understand and except the different viewpoints and reactions and are more than willing to react to whatever is thrown at us.  

  18. Posted

    3 minutes ago, tsuki said:

    The word "addiction" has a big load to it and it depends on what kinds of needs you are satisfying.
    If you simply have a high sex drive, then I think that satisfying it with masturbation is perfectly fine.
    However, if you masturbate in order to satisfy your other needs (such as companionship, or admiration) by injecting your brain with a hormone cocktail, then I believe that you are in effect dysregulating your body.

    Other than that, in my experience, watching porn has a negative effect on my sexual performance because it sets unrealistic standards for sex. These standards include looks, behavior of partners and the general outline for what sex is supposed to be like. I find that conditioning my mind to follow this outline is limiting and "sips through" to other aspects of my relationship. It introduces unnecessary, unconscious, judgement and creates emotional strain.

    Another point is that supposedly (haven't investigated it myself), porn industry thrives on sexual exploitation of women and is common grounds for rape and abuse. By indulging in it, you are supporting such behaviors. I remember @Shin mentioning it and he may want to chime in.

    Obviously, it has nothing to do with God-given morality to me, but I acknowledge that many Christians may be sexually repressed and show their frustration by being vocal about such topics. I find it to be very unfortunate.

     

    I completely agree, if someone is replacing having sex with their mate with porn that is a bad trail to be on and you should make ajustments

  19. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Matt23 said:

    If one's trying to be ethical, I think intentionality plays a big role.  Also the context (mostly in terms of sleeping with others who aren't your partner)

    Communication, concern, honesty, integrity.

    But, if you're not concerned about others and simply about getting laid, then cheating probably won't be a huge issue for you.

    Maybe a baseline strategy is --->  If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.   ---> then maybe contemplate why later to learn some lessons and integrate.

     

    Also, my tree planting foreman once told me, in terms of being ethical ---->  "Sometimes you gotta be bad to know how to be good."

     

    our guide lines are the each of us will not have sex with the opposite sex without the other being there. traveling as much as we do. that is sometimes very difficult however that is where the porn and masturbation come in. Since you all seem like pretty "cool" people and pretty excepting, I will go "full disclosure" here for the sake of the discussion and say that my wife left on her sales trip yesterday and I got home from the strip club about 10 last night and I stripped down and have been on a porn and jack off marathon ever since. I figure no one else is involved so no harm  Right ???

  21. Posted

    43 minutes ago, Derek White said:

    There is nothing wring with being greedy for sex, money, fame or whatever. The thing is it’s never enough.

    we will both admit that it is the addiction. we both have been sleeping in the nude since our relationship started and it is not because it is comfortable it is because if one or the other of use needs to feed their addicting they have an open invitation to use the other however they want to get their needs met. 

  22. Posted

    1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

    If anything is good or bad, it is only so when the intention behind it is nefarious. 

    Till then it's all just moralistic bullshit. 

    However true love is not just about sex but much more so I would be glad to know that you enjoy each other's company and love during the time you guys are not engaged in sex. 

    It's only that most people who are into that sort of a lifestyle like porn, nudity, swingers lifestyle aren't into it with the most innocent intentions but for gratification, greed and money. And usually those relationships and lifestyles don't end well. So I wouldn't want to be involved in that kind of a lifestyle unless I can completely trust the other person. 

    But when people follow any lifestyle with innocent intent and without greed or lust for money or selfishness/disregard then anything is absolutely fine. 

    People are not to be blamed for their perceptions towards certain things. They say it out of observation, experience and sometimes out of ignorance. 

    The important thing here is to do what you enjoy without caring for what others think.. 

     

    there are a lot of very good points here. We have a great time whatever we are doing and I think the 25 year marriage proves that. People say they are addicted to sex and so they can't help having cheating relationships however that is complete BS. Those people have a confidence problem and it is fed be seeking other people 

  23. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    Nothing wrong with sex, but it is one of the lower joys of life.

    Most people's lives involve: sleep, eat, shit, work, fuck.

    There are higher ways to live.

    An awakening beats an orgasm every time.

    If you're pre-occupied with sex, you're stuck on living from chakra 2. Which is pretty low. At some point you'd be wise to outgrow that. Doesn't mean you have to stop having sex, but it just becomes less of a priority in your life.

    Of course lots of people judge sexual openness because they suppress their own sexuality.

    Also, peoples' sex drives differ. Some low, some high.

    I think we are in a time right now that everyone wants to shame the other for having a different opinion or behavior. 

  24. Posted

    1 hour ago, Gili Trawangan said:

    This is your problem right here. Porn only reinforces the addiction. It's not a moral judgment of bad behavior, it's just that it causes craving and therefore suffering.

    If your particular case is not like that, you're happy with it and it causes no issues for you both, then by all means continue and enjoy :)

    just as a drunk desires their next drink so to does a sex addict desire their next climax. we both will admit that porn is just a tool we use to achieve our next climax.