Adodd

Maybe its that long awaited shadow work video lol

@Matt23 Do you smoke weed often? Do you get good sleep? Do you have a fairly good diet? Dont worry too much man, i have similar problems. Maybe strong memory just isn't a strength of yours. Not a weakness. Thats just how some of us are.

@Thought Art I'm halfway through the values section and already I am feeling more optimistic and passionate about my future. What productivity apps do you use?

@Striving for more read Martin Seligmans book Authentic Happiness. He breaks down what has a long term effect on happiness amd what doesn't. *Spoiler alert* as long as you basic needs are met, money doesnt have a lasting effect on happiness, only very short term. Hedonic adaptation is a real bitch sometimes.

Getting felonies has to be on that list

@funkychunkymonkey see if they will negotiate. Talk therapist instead of psychiatrist. Talk therapy gets a bad reputation but it really is helpful for helping figure stuff out. Especially when strugglong with relapse. Worth a shot right? Might help YOU out and get them off your ass.

This isnt really a direct answer but it seems appropriate.

Any thoughts on bacoppa monnieri? Specifically for cognitive performance.

bingo

lol. Amen

@Mjolnir in the values assessment intro Leo says to pick what you value right now not what you wish to value in the future. Hope i understood your question correctly.

Geez that feels awful to admit. She has lost all custody rights and is a meth addict. She wants to pop up once a year and demand phone calls which confuses the kids who have a very loving step mom that has raised them since they were essentially babies. She has already put them through such bad trauma that still affects them today and possibly always will. Step mom and I do so much to help them with this and bio mom wants to pop up and fuck with their heads as if she hasn't done enough damage. I wish she was dead. I hope she dies, honestly. How do I let this hate go?! I don't want it anymore. God hate feels bad. Its aweful. Makes me nauseous for days. I feel guilt for harboring hatred and will sometimes tell myself I don't actually HATE her but I know that I really do. It doesnt help me handle the issue the best way either.

@integral No. Nowhere near that simple. Not unless she threatens harm or violence and even than its not a gauruntee. However the courts have already ordered that shes not allowed to be around them unless unless I say so and am supervising but she hasnt actually even tried or asked to see them in years so that specifically hasnt been the problem.

@Loving Radiance .yes I'm using the same process of forgiveness towards myself that I'm using towards her. Your advice has truly been helpful by the way. Thank you!

@Loba yes! I have worked so hard on forgiveness and have genuinely forgiven everyone I was holding anything against. This is the only person I have still struggled with. When someone wrongs ME its easy to forgive, when someone wrongs your children, its a little bit harder.

this is the only logical thing you have said and I agree. Which is why (since I have long ago taken 100% responsibility in saving them and providing them with security no matter what it took) i am now working on ""Infinite unconditional love for meth addicts" hippy-bullsprinkles." Finding the address to where this woman fled state with my children to and working with police and court systems in multiple states every single day and night until it was taken care of and they lived with me 100% of the time took a strength and dedication that most fathers will never know. Saving my children from abuse and becoming as loving and open as possible now that theyve been safe for years? There is nothing further from neglect than this situation. Please elaborate(or dont) on this ignorant statement@anxious_turtle . By loving someone who is easy not to love and becoming loving and forgiving when it is difficult is the best thing I can do as a father in this situation. Forgiveness takes strength. This strength is something I will do my best to pass down to my children. What do you think would be a more responsible and strong decision? Being hateful and angry? C'mon dude. You gotta be trolling me. Also, overusing Bold, italicized and underline functions dont make your point more valid.

Im not sure why im defending myself to you as i know what all I have done and how much I put into saving them from the situation they were once in. However, I'm not "still allowing them to go through it". I already put a stop to it and have been working through this with them ever since. Shes not even allowed to be around them weirdo. What is it that you assume I'm still allowing to happen to them? And as far as you saying that i dont love them enough because I'm willing to admit the uncomfortable fact that trauma may always affect them shows me that you know little about trauma. I have done more than most parents ever have or will for their kids. If you think being a good parent is a Gauruntee to rid a child of any and all trauma you are extremely naive and ignorant. @anxious_turtle Yikes! I see you are quite triggered here. The point of the post isnt about people feeling bad for me. Its about me working on letting go of hatred. So my feelings are very relevant to the post pal? what responsibility do you believe that i have not taken? Notice that i have not gone into great detail about the traumas or what i have done as a parent so there's a lot of assuming going on on your part. @AdroseAkise So would I be correct that you have not even read the thread? She didnt uses to even smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol or anything at all but I didnt include such details in the original post because it isnt the point of the post. Some of these responses.... I might as well have posted this on tiktok or instagram.

@Loving Radiance I want to say yes like its that simple. But if im being honest there is still some resistance. A lot has happened over a long period of time. I'm empathetic towards her now but after feeling more into I have found that I feel guilty for not getting for not being able to protect them from what already happened to them. I feel lile that guilt was coming out as hatred towards her because thats easier to do than look at myself. I'm still working on it.

@Raze thank you for the additional resources. I'm amazed by the great responses ive gotten on this. This forum is great.

So I just did @Leo Gura's forgiveness excercise, wow. Powerful and effective and if anyone reading this can relate to my original post at all I highly suggest the video. Very emotional process. What I discovered:(I really already knew this but was deeply resisting it. ) She just wants love. She does these things to feel love. Looking at her life and the parents that i know she had it makes sense that she is doing these things. She had god awful parents and she is repeating how she was taught. I suppose I don't act the way she does only because I was lucky enough to have parents that taught me better. Its fair to assume that if I had the same conditioning I would have the same behavior. Its not her fault. She's not as lucky as me and that's a reason to be grateful not vengeful. I also dont want to be a person who is hateful to people because they are doing theyre best at feeling love. I know i have harmed others by trying to feel love in the in the wrong ways more times than I can count. I dont think I deserve hatred for it because I just didnt know any better. And neither does she. We were both born as empty slates and I got luckier. I feel real sympathy for her. Shes trying so hard to feel love and cant find it. She might never find it due to conditioning that was beyond her control. So sad. ?

Must watch the video! Truly inspiring guy. Beautiful story.

@Loving Radiance I'm not against advice. I have set some time aside today for specifically for doing the excercise alone and having time to contemplate after. Maybe ill post about it here afterward.

@Yoremo Dont get me wrong, you should probably go ahead and finish college. But Saying college is a neccesity that is required everywhere is completely false.