silene

Release feelings by accepting them and giving them space to be, and go through their process, working in they way they need to. Then they release themselves naturally. Also gives you the chance to contemplate and see what you are mourning for. Life is the process through birth, growth, decline and death many times over - I wonder if this mourning is for you previous self, as in the passing of your childhood or youth - sorry I don't know how old you are and I'm too polite to ask I can relate to that, if it is the root of your feeling, as I'm going through middle age externally, but on the level of pure awareness I feel ageless. Strange that ? (PS An aside - I just discovered all these other cool emojis apart from the basic ones on the toolbar at the top! Been meaning to ask someone where they are ?️ )

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Stress, brainfog and vagueness is not unusual, but a slit in your skull is not one I've come across before - I'm assuming this is a feeling you have rather than an actual wound in your skull? Even so it seems pretty heavy to send you to a psychiatric hospital, are they doing some investigations to get a diagnosis? Are you there voluntarily or not? This sounds like anxiety and stress building up to a panic attack. If that's what it is, they are not so unusual either and treatable so please don't worry and I'd recommend working with the professionals and giving your diagnosis and treatment a chance to work and help you. Meditation and relaxation, healthy diet and exercise, good sleep pattern, are all beneficial too and most progressive therapists these days should approve.

This is a theory until you experience it for yourself. But my current level of understanding is: No 'body and mind' as separate things. There is body-mind as a single thing, but appear as two when we're in a dualistic state. Therefore, when I glimpse nonduality, the awareness and contents (thoughts, feelings, sense perceptions etc) are one with the awareness. That is, reality is self-aware, panpsychism if you like. "can i notice awareness ?" Try. Can you create a layer of awareness, above awareness, looking at it as an object? If that's what you mean. The ego thinks it is separate and capable of this, but I've never managed it. I end up like a dog chasing its own tail

You have values and principles, care about other people, not manipulating them for selfish reasons, that's good, you have empathy and see it from the other's point of view. Good again, it's not just about the money, you have found something you like doing. The thing is, freedom to run your business doing what you love comes at the price of insecurity. You are working in the free market, with no limit on how much money you can make, or lose. If you want a safe income, security, you need to give up your freedom and be a wage slave working for someone else (like me ha ha). But that's an illusion anyway, or at least the security is only relative, we can lose our jobs. Ultimately we have to lose everything in the long run when we die. In the meantime we need to know ourselves well enough to see what lifestyle is the best fit for us.

There's plenty of millionaires around who are still insecure about losing their money, health, looks etc. But you're young and insightful enough to avoid falling into that trap of negative motivation (I need to get money because I'm afraid of being poor) rather than positive motivation (I'm doing what I love and getting rewarded well for it). What is your motivation for your life choices? Is this (university, job, landlord) your life purpose, your passion, or are you doing it mainly for the money without really enjoying the work? Did you choose these things yourself, or were you influenced by other people like family, friends, teachers? No judgement of you or anybody, we all need to earn a living, but it helps to be in touch with our inner feelings which inform our outward choices. By the way, you've got lots of positives to celebrate, being financially independent and standing on your own feet at a young age, you've learned some awesome life skills already

The Biblical sources have a way about them of multiple interpretations, sometimes because (like this quote) they're cryptic to begin with; othertimes because they are in the form of stories & parables. I like the meanings already given, I'd just add the Buddhist idea of impermanence. Trying to cling to your life and make it permanent in an impermanent reality causes you to suffer and lose the happiness you have. Instead, to make a good life we need to dive in and surf the flow and waves! I'd also compare this quote with the parable about the mustard seed (I forget the Bible reference) but essentially the seed needs to die to its form as a seed, in order to carry on living as a mustard plant. Form is emptiness and emptiness is form

@afy355 Greetings and welcome to the forum Sorry to hear you've been going through this, 4 years is a long time. I'm no kind of expert at this, but if the LSD caused this problem then I'd recommend avoiding any non-prescribed drugs and trying natural methods as your therapist suggests like meditation, yoga, etc. Out of interest do you do any competitive games or sports? Just a thought that competing could emphasise your sense of self, while being outside in the world - as well as getting some exercise too.

This is like the relation between duality and non-duality, or relative and absolute. We are still 'Being' whilst in the middle of 'doing' but for me anyway, these feel like separate states. In reality (or so I believe), the absolute contains the relative, non-duality contains duality, being contains doing. However for now, I practice Resting in Being as a meditation technique, as if it's taking a break from doing. Even though I schedule a time slot and everything so it looks like doing something!

Hi, yes I've been following your journal through the breakup, took a while to reply because my life's pretty hectic too! Sorry to hear you've been going through this, it's a tough time I can tell. But you're doing great at reflecting and contemplating your way through it; my advice is to continue this learning process and don't feel you need to rush into anything new, on the rebound, or to fulfil anyone else's expectations until you're good and ready (I'm still learning after 15 years married!) You're already complete and perfect as you are

Too much red meat is known to be unhealthy, is linked to bowel cancer and high cholesterol. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/meat-nutrition/ But a modest amount in a balanced diet is fine. I used to be vegetarian and vegan for a while, but got fed up with other people telling me what I was allowed to eat. I don't know much about farming effects on wildlife, but all types destroy habitats to some extent don't they? And use up water + other resources.

Hi sorry to hear you're going through this, addictions of any sort can take a lot of work to get over. Relapses can happen for anyone, you're not alone. I find a daily meditation and my mindfulness habit is valuable to help me focus on the present and letting go of things which I can't change (like the past), and putting my energy into positive plans for the future. Also journalling has helped me express my feelings rather than dwell on them, celebrate successes, keep track of progress and if I write down my plans and resolutions it feels like I'm more committed. Letting go is a meditation technique itself, which I've had success with, I think Leo has a video on it. Good luck and welcome to the forum too

erm ... so who/what are you talking to then At first glance this sounds a bit like Buddhism - no God, no self - but then they go on to replace it with things like Buddha nature, Nirvana or Dharmakaya etc: I'm not sure if you have a name for what's left? You're saying I have some beliefs, so that much exists at least!

As long as you think the magical experience is outside of you, then chasing it is just reinforcing the feeling of separate self, which is the very thing veiling over the mystical awareness. But don't worry, this is a perfectly normal stage on the path, check out Leo's video on the Zen Oxherding Pictures, you are looking for the Ox. One day you will get out of your own way and realise that the magic was you all along, the observer is the observed Your burning desire is love looking for itself.

When I gave up smoking tobacco, I set a date for my last cig, then on that evening I chain smoked about 10 till I felt sick and so my final memory of smoking was UGH and I remembered that feeling when I started craving again. I realise that cannabis is a different type of addiction, but if you try cleaning up your whole lifestyle - good sleep, diet, exercise, regular meditation & yoga habits etc - you will feel better and can associate this with self-love. Replace old habits with new ones. I know this sounds binary but it should help to get you over the hump of cravings - remember these are only temporary and you will move on and grow. Good luck and stay positive that you can achieve this!

Last pic of tomatoes before I cut them down. All picked and will die off when the frost comes Life carries on through the seeds they've grown, if I sow them again next year but I will prob choose another variety.

My 2020s Journal Thu 27feb 2020 I meant to start a new journal in January to welcome in the new decade, the 2020s, here it is (a bit delayed), carrying on from my old journal, Wish you were here on the journey to nowhere (now-here). I've been catching some of Leo's more recent videos and he's right that they're getting deeper and more advanced, and I had a little chuckle with 'Total Awakening live in real time part 2'. He is saying how he is God speaking through the avatar of Leo and totally awake etc, while on the wall behind him are 3 sculptures in the shape of a number 6 - 666 - postmodern irony isn't it As well as an old video from 2016, 'Guided Meditation - the next level of meditation' - which is about where I'm at with my meditation. Let go, let it be, let go so much I let go of letting go. Copying my 2020 New Year's Resolutions, (year plan) here for reference so I don't let it slip! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mon 30-dec19 New Year's Resolutions. 1. Physical. 1.1. Diet. Reduce: hydrogenated, trans, saturated fat, refined carbs , sugar, salt, artificial sweeteners, processed food in general. Acrylamide. Caffeine. Increase: fruit, veg, unrefined & unprocessed natural food, water, herb tea. Reach BMI =21.5 and waist/height ratio = 0.48. 1.2. Exercise. Mainly walking & gardening. Also Hatha yoga for physical suppleness, preventing backache. 1.3. Regular sleep routines. Decluttering, sell or give away old unused stuff. 2. Intellectual knowledge, broadening understanding, education. 2.1 Spiritual videos for theoretical knowledge, 2.2 Follow up new leads on spiritual teachers (see later post). 2.3 Pick up on learning Python programming, build some simple apps eg a calculator, a meditation timer. 3. Meditation and mindfulness/awareness. 3.1 Meditation. Improve my daily routine to ideally 30 mins morning and evening, but aware this is a tough challenge, especially in the mornings! 3.2 Mindfulness/awareness. Practice what I am learning from books etc. If more support needed, look for other material. 4. Service to others (eg karma). Voluntary work. 5. Nature connection. Gardening, wilderness, environmentalism, rambling. Prudent living, crafting, DIY. All of these, as time allows. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Before the coronavirus I went to a weekly meditation group at a church, with no religious strings attached, I expect it'll start up again when the virus is over. Years ago I used to go to Buddhist groups like Theravada and Zen, but you're right mostly they follow their own tradition. Also we used to have a small local spiritual group to meditate and share together but that folded. You're right it does have a different energy to meditating alone, I found it especially helpful for retreats to keep me going. Good luck I hope you find one that's right for you.

Hi @Tovius and welcome to the forum Nice work, good to see you're getting some results already. Keep going there's always more for us to discover.

Here's one specifically on astral projection. This guy Vishuddha Das has also done other ones on lucid dreaming etc. I've tried but I'm not a natural at this type of practice. Please tell us how you get on

Thanks definitely worth a read, I'll look out for a copy.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. How's your diet and exercise routine? Maybe cutting down on caffeine could help too. I guess you are seeing someone to prescribe the anxiety pills, I wonder if the increased dose is giving you side effects. Are they giving you any other support to help with the emotional regulation, or if not could you ask to get referred for more specialist treatment?

This part reminds me of Douglas Hardings' book 'On having no head', and you've put it in your own broader context. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Harding It's like we are simplifying things to what is actual awareness and dropping the assumptions we've been taught about reality.

I haven't read the Conv with God book yet, but channeling doesn't have to come from God (in a theistic sense), that would be a prophet. Channeling is more general, a from of clairvoyance / clairaudience (or perhaps telepathy) where it's supposedly coming from a spiritual master. There's many examples eg Theosophy, Aetherius Society, White Eagle Lodge, Salumet and friends. It creates an interesting power dynamic, after all, the channeller has a privileged access to the masters, and usually the rest of us are followers.

Well it's ages since my last post. The strawberries are long since over and tomatoes all picked waiting for storing and preserving. I'll try and get a picture before the frost kills the plants off. I finished The Zen Doctrine Of No Mind and now reading Zen Mind Beginners Mind by Shunryu Suzuki (no relation to DT Suzuki I don't think) also Life Spirit by David Usher. I don't normally read 2 spiritual books at once, but I've got a Life Spirit group discussion starting soon. I've still got the on-off meditation habit, had a lapse for a few days this is my main blockage at the moment.

Hi @soos_mite_ah so you're about 20 or 21 years old from your profile? For the vast majority of us who don't live as hermits or monks/nuns, we need to build a life in society, work on career, relationships etc as well as maybe having spirituality. You're still young enough to turn round your education, although it will be a little harder once you've left school. I can tell you're motivated, but now you need to be laser focussed on what practical & vocational skills you need to develop. Leo has done a lot of videos etc on life purpose, career and relationship development, as well as the spiritual stuff. Look at some of the older ones - I'm catching up on them myself and just today watching "The Role Of Balance In Personal Development" from 2017 have you seen it? I'd say it's worth taking some time to contemplate and journal on what is your best balance in the different areas of your development. Then make a plan to re-balance yourself from where you are now.