iceprincess

@Moon yes definitely we need to find a way to be financially independant. the government can help us to some extent but my mom has a variant of schizophrenia and she is incapable of working long hours so being financially independant sounds like a pipe dream right now especially because i'm in university and a few years later my sister will be in univeristy as well. although our student loans cover everything. also the fact is divorce is extremely frowned upon in my culture it almost rarely happens. my mom says she's gonna leave him a million times but she is too scared to leave him and face society this way and fend for herself and tbh she just doesn't have that strength mentally or physically. my ultimate dream is to make a steady income by myelf and just send them both off to their families back in asia, that way they can grow old peacefully without eachother and with their loved ones. i would hate for both of my parents to have to live with eachother for another 30 years

my dad is notorious for his anger issues. everyone in our family and our cultural community is well aware of how hot tempered he can be. he has never apologized for his anger and he thinks it is completely justified and that everyone else is the problem. in the shower, he wants all the shampoo bottles and soap on the upper right side corner. one time one of us forgot and left our shampoo on the upper left side corner and he flipped his shit and started screaming and draining all of our bottles into the toilet and flushing them down. that's just one example, i have way too many to count. i remember when i was 2 years old i was crying and fussing like a baby as any normal baby would and i remember he just erupted and was screaming and kicking our computer and i remember I had to apologize to him when i was legit a toddler. my point is how do i deal with him, i still have to live with my family for a few more years until i'm done school. i try to shut him out but then he also gets angry and makes me feel guilty that he works so hard for us and he's really lonely and super jealous of how close me and my sister are with our mom. he's not always so bad he has his good streaks but you just never know when it's all gonna go to shit again. i'm pretty sure he's the reason my mom is mentally ill. please give me some tips because i don't wanna succumb to his anger and make him take advantage of me but it seems that no matter what he's gonna erupt in flames again. i can't leave him either with my poor mother and sister, sometimes i wish they could get a divorce but we already can't support ourselves with my dad's income. please give me some reasonable advice thanks

@coughie yeah i've been thinking about this approach for awhile. i already sometimes try to get really angry on purpose so that he's scared around me and that usually works for awhile until i get nice again but it just seems top hypocritical to deal with him the same way he would deal with the rest of us, by showing anger and igniting fear in the rest of us. i dont always wanna fight fire with fire but for now it has sure helped. he told my mom he's scared to say anything to me even though i don't react the way he does i just raise my voice and act very annoyed i dont throw things around. i can't believe he can't connect the dots that the way he is sometimes scared to make me mad is how the rest of us feel x43834384

@Leo Gura what are your thoughts on cheating? not why men cheat but how a couple should deal with problems of infidelity? what does cheating imply about the relationship and the cheater's relationship to himself and his girlfriend?

i know the answer to this question might seem obvious but i'm just super conflicted. on the one hand these people need love and acceptance and turning away from them might just exacerbate their current situations. but at the same time trying to take care of these people can be really time consuming and draining. let's say for example i have a friend who does a lot of cocaine and drinks too much because of their depression. obviously if i do not give them as much time and attention as i used to they could do something really dangerous to them selves if they dont have the social support but also at the same time i do not have the time or resources to help them the way they want to be helped. maybe to check up on them but not to be with them every step of the way. our values and priorities and goals do not line up and i feel like people who are real serious about self actualization wouldn't be friends with those types of people ayway but at the same time i would feel really guilty about trying to prioritize my own time. thoughts on how i should go about this?

@Thittato thanks for the good advice! and yeah i won't drop them completely but as life goes on i'll just gradually distance myself and start focusing on things that are good for me. no need to keep things in my life that don't serve my purpose

sadhguru says one should do hatha yoga before we practice kriya yoga to prepare our body for the intesne states of energy: "If we want to do Kriya Yoga, we always prepare people with Hatha yoga because without the body being prepared, it will not be able to take higher dimensions of energy. It will break. It is just like if your pipe is not ready and you pump in too much force, something is bound to burst. Hatha yoga, so to speak, could be understood as preparation of the pipe." Thoughts? there's lots of people on the mega kriya yoga thread that might experience this excessive force like sadhguru's describing

@Leo Gura I'm gonna be in my second year of life sciences but ultimately i wanna become a writer (blog + books), should i just quit then lol and pursue my passion full time right now without wasting anymore of my resources. why'd you decide to pursue a degree in philosophy then if it was such a waste of time and money. im assuming its because you were young and didnt realize then??

Hatha yoga before kriya yoga? sadhguru says one should do hatha yoga before we practice kriya yoga to prepare our body for the intesne states of energy: "If we want to do Kriya Yoga, we always prepare people with Hatha yoga because without the body being prepared, it will not be able to take higher dimensions of energy. It will break. It is just like if your pipe is not ready and you pump in too much force, something is bound to burst. Hatha yoga, so to speak, could be understood as preparation of the pipe."

@lostmedstudent i am also on the mission to becoming multi orgasmic. read the book the multiorgasmic woman by mantak chia. i haven't read it yet or applied the techniques in there but i'm sure it'll help. i saw leo on another topic recommend the multiorgasmic man by the same author. hope this helps!

my friend is 20 and she recently started dating this guy she met on tinder. mind you before she started dating guys which was just recently she was the most innocent person ever she never even looked at guys. they've been seeing eachother for a few months, no dates just late night hookups and she leaves the next morning , they havent even hung out more than 15 times. he barely responds to her texts and always claims hes busy. she knows hes a pimp and he fucks his workers as well. he has been to jail for a few months idk why and also has a daughter who he lost custody over. this man really wants a baby and hes been pitching the idea to her ever since their first date. she really likes him because hes not rude to her and hes really passionate about entrepreneurship and success (hes trying to start a sneaker,clothing company and he says once that is started hes quitting the pimp lifestyle) . he told her he wants to have a baby within the next year and if she does not want to have kids then he wants to go their seperate ways and move on. i told her if he can't commit to you now he will not be able to have a baby and his reasoning is that he doesnt try to go on dates with her or text her and be an actual boyfriend because he doesn't wanna get "emotionally attached" BUT he will give her all the time, money, energy and effort IF he can get her pregnant with his kid. at first she was not open to it at all but now she is considering having a baby with him provided they get to know eachother more and he puts more effort towards her. i was talking to her for hours trying to covince her out of it. she obviously doesnt want the baby she just wants the baby so he can commit to her and shes willing to risk her future, her goals, her life adventures, the respect of her friends, her parents support and her future baby to be with him, a guy whose main job is managing prostitutes, takes 2 days to reply, a felon and only agrees to see her if its late night on a bed. what can i do as a friend to convince her out of this and if she does go through with it how should i help? is it bad if i distance myself from her? i never knew she was like this and i just dont wanna involve myself with those type of people but i would feel bad if she was suffering through it herself.

@Dlavjr she can spend time with him all she wants and get her heart broken, but i can't let her have a baby lmao. i mean its not like she's ever taken my advice with these things so it looks like i'm just gonna have to let it go but it's so heartbreaking to see a friend of 5 years ruin her life like that for a piece of shit.

okay so i dated this guy when i was super young like 15, we dated for 3 months and we barely got to see eachother. he broke up with me and i was super sad but i figured i would eventually get over him. this was back in 2014 now its 2020. this man has not left my mind since then i swear it's like a virus in my head. before he told me his feelings for me i was so happy and detached and carefree and now i obsess over him everday of my life. in between we've met and hungout a few times but i always end up repeating the same mistakes. he's actually great i was the toxic and abusive one in our relationship. i tried everything i tried moving onto other guys , i went months without stalking his social media, i tried therapy but absolutely nothing has worked. i dont know what to do its like ive been struck with a terminal disease and its really held me back in life. i just wanna get over him and move on i dont wanna get backtogether.

@Space i don't resist the thoughts i have about him when they happen, i actually enjoy them and don't mind them being there. i don't beat myself even more that would be terrible considering how much i think about him. what's more frustrating to me is that i can't seem to let him go. it's when i relfect back on my life and go "omg how is this guy still in my mind, move on already" . in some way i;ve accepted it and realized at one point this will vanish. it's just annoying how long it's been taking over a relationship that was so long ago and so insignificant. what's gonna happen when i do end up in a really loving committed relationship and that goes to shit? how insane will i end up becoming then

@Rilles i mean most people do to some degree. i have healthy self esteem when it comes to not comparing myself to others and taking responsibility for my actions and my feelings but i lack authenticity and being assertive.

@Leo Gura i don't understand, in your breakup video you said not to get back with your ex. wouldn't getting back with him be counterintuitive to self actualizing?

@The observer i was thinking of trying self hypnosis to get over him. i've been reading a few articles about women who have tried this technique to get over their exes and they've produced some significant results. i'm just scared of the possibility of getting over him because my whole life in these last 6 uears has been structured around him. literally everything i do is for him and if i don't have that anymore i wonder if i will still have that motivation to improve myself. the core reason why i've been meditating, eating clean and exploring my spirituality is for him and i'm glad i've done these things but what if all of that is gone once i get over him?

@Roy yeah you're right i haven't really done anything with my life , it's been pretty mediocre. most likely if i busy myself and work on self actualising i'll see some improvements

@legendary i've actually have met up with him a few times in the past we talked a lot and hung out and tbh he's improved so much over the last few years. he's really into consciousness work and he's really evolved since last time. he is so much sweeter and compassionate and alot wiser. he's really improved his mindset which makes me want him more. not to mention hotter he got all buffed up at the gym. smh i'm the one that hasn't improved, in the last 6 years i've only gotten fatter and i haven't accomplished any of my goals

sadhguru says that by bowing down to the sun at sunrise, daytime and sunset, "life will work in magical ways" . you will live a blessed life because you're gaining more access to the akashic intelligence and getting the 5th element to cooperate with you. sounds too good to be true but i can't find anyone who has tried this method. any thoughts on this?

during do nothing mediation do i have to keep my eyes fixated on a single point or can i move them around? i try not to move my eyes too much and keep them on a general area on the wall but they sometimes move around. do i need to be constantly staring at one point or is it okay if thye occasionally drift away from the point i'm staring at?

Joe rogan and Michael Pollan talk about their 5-meo-dmt experiences

just a cool and insightful interview i thought i'd share with you all. and some cooler and even more insightful videos on cults by leo that i'd recommend:

dr.bruce lipton explains that reprogramming your subconcious mind is so ridiculously easy that all you have to do is put on headphones at night and play a program of desired affirmations while you sleep and soon enough your mind will be reprogrammed. It seems way too good to be true but his explanation kind of makes sense to me. He says that 95% of our lives are played out by subconscious beliefs that were embedded in us when we were 0-7 years old because during this time our brains are operating on theta waves which are more susceptible to influence. Those same theta waves are happening in a brief window of time just as you are about to fall asleep and when you hear those affirmations your subconscious will pick up on them. it's basically autohypnosis except you don't need to pay for these services ,there are free programs everywhere or you could just record affirmations on a loop. i was wondering what are your thoughts on this and if any of you have actually done this?? i've heard of this concept before with neville goddard about visualizing your goals as you fall asleep that makes the strongest indent on your subconscious but that still requires some mental effort this just seems like way too good of a life hack but he's a doctor so i'm biased lol

i just wanna reprogram some beliefs regarding my confidence, self esteem etc. just a few personal development goals, obviously i will take action on these things but i just wanna know if there is any merit to what he's saying. i dont wanna waste my time listening to affirmations every night for weeks if it's just bs