Thought Art

I can't speak for Leo. But I saw how Connor treated the forum and how he treated Leo when Leo tried to ground over the phone. He dragged actualized.org through the dirt with his antics. Connor at one point, was making almost pretty decent posts on the forum. I think he really liked Leo's videos but... He does in like a fool. Fools rush in. I saw that he was a Zen Devil pretty early on. He has the operating system of a clown and then starting trying to become spiritual, then abused psychedelics, (I think he misunderstood what they actually were doing to him). He is professional fitness guru and clown. We can't expect him to be a sage overnight. It was like adding jet fuel to an open flame.

Aren't there like, different brands of shampoo etc that have different ingredients?

I second this. Though, I will call you a woman, or your preferred pronouns because I respect you as a human and conscious being. I believe in transgender rights, and the rights of all groups. But, I also have some nuanced opinions and I am still learning. Gender roles, words, labels, etc are a construct of our minds. I have reported mod bejapuskas for over stepping. Stating your opinion on gender or sexuality does not equate hating someone. I dislike seeing that form of moderation because it makes me afraid to post nuanced things. Rules around segregation, laws, etc are an on going thing we all as a community need to work through and understand. We all have rights here. When it comes to things like sports... theres more nuance there than simply hating someone and not wanting them to compete. In fact, sports are sort of silly that way in general because of a almost arbitrary nature of the categories we use. I realize this is a difficult topic. But, we need to ensure we remain understanding that not everyone sees things the way you do. Just because I am not a Jew, or a muslim and I don't think they are absolutely true does not mean I hate anyone.

Seems right to me. Both green and blue embrace spirituality but green is generally more open. Blue tends to be dogmatic about religion and spirituality

Quit that shiiiit lol. It's worth it.

Got it https://www.amazon.ca/Outlines-Pyrrhonism-Sextus-Empiricus/dp/0879755970

I don't know how to spell it, did anyone catch it?

So, recently at a networking event in my city I met a girl and it was love at first site for me. I could tell she was interested in me as well by her facial expression and her energy. I had never felt that level of energetic connection in a long time. It started to wake up parts of my nervous system that I think lay dormant most of the time. She got my instagram and she wanted to hang out and meditate with me, and we were gonna talk more about what we do. I teach Qigong, she is a life coach. But, I realized that this love... This amazing female love energy. That I want more than anything... Brings with it so much pain, fear, and doubt. I over think, obsess and then I avoid. I asked her to hang out. She didn't respond all day and I kept checking my phone. Then, when I saw she had read it and didn't respond... I unfriended her and unsent the messages. I told her, I had a crush on her and so I would need to avoid her. She was just at the spa. Nothing was wrong with the situation. Just my insides, unconscious beliefs and mental filters. Neurotic. Disorganized attachment style. I did some tests, and I have an avoidant/ disorganized attachment style. I think I will need a coach before I start dating. So, I will need more income to afford a coach. So, right now my main focus is business, networking, achievement and developing more earnings. Then, I will begin dating again. There are so many potential mates out there I could fall deeply in love with and create a good life with. I have to be patient with myself and my fears and traumas and go about dating in a slow, intelligent way because it just hurts way to much. As soon as I have feelings for someone it feels like I am being stabbed in a the chest. Which, obviously means I can't love fully yet. A deep intimate relationship that is long term is one of my main goals in life. But, it much come from a solid foundation I am currently building.

@Max8 Maybe, Or you don’t understand what consciousness means when we use that world. If you only identity with your finite self, as an animal sure. But, what makes you think you are separate from the “Big Bang” are you not that? The result of that? So, you are the part of the whole. Which means you must also be the whole. A Newtonian universe? A quantum universe? A dumb universe? A random uniserve? Am intelligent universe? A conscious universe?

@Max8 Maybe, Or you don’t understand what consciousness means when we use that world.

Connor shattered Leo’s trust big time Connor is more stable. But, he likely still lacks maturity, integrity and etc

I find that all my suicidal thoughts are self deception. This is probably the case for most people. The construction of your models of reality are just jagged and twisted. You need to increase your consciousness, take action and take it all less seriously.

Hmmm, could be a low quality post. long story short. Not your ego. Not your finite self. But, you infinite self creates all duality and manifestation. contrmplate those by yourself for a couple hours and then read some books. Trip a little if you can safely.

@OBEler okay I’ll try it again

@OBEler Not sure psychedelics are gonna work for healing a scar. There may be topical creams or dietary supplements which help. Various psychedelics can be useful for developing body awareness and healing some body pain. LSD, 5meodmt, Shrooms... maybe be interesting to see what happens. Qigong and self massage can help too.

I stopped paying for internet in my house. I only pay for data and if I run out I run out. I struggled for years.

I mean. I am really no expert. But a thought did occur. A date is to see how you feel when you are with someone. I would just trust your feeling. You will find somebody.

Seems the most loving thing to do, it so go your own way.

Sounds like a good thing to is to break up. Theres thousands and thousands of beautiful women. You can ask yourself "What am I really holding onto if I don't enjoy the relationship? What are these superficials of her looking like a model worth if I am not happy with her?" 1. What do I want right now? 2. What would I do if I wasn't afraid? I've been in similar situations. Maybe the problem is you are imagining the relationship to last forever instead of enjoying the energetics and polarity between you in the moment and day to day. Don't build yourself a prison or think you are losing something by breaking up. Have you heard of Sofia Sundari? I like her work on relationship coaching and energetics. She talks a lot about how to feel the energy, how to go for what you want, how to come from abundance and how to step into your male energy and own your cock. I would trust want you really want each day. Which, seems to be leaving. If you wanted to be in the relationship, perhaps you wouldn't be thinking these thoughts eh? You must decide. Write about it. Pull off the fucking band aid.

You know what I did? I don't pay for internet. I only have Data on my phone. If I abuse it then...There goes my internet for the month. Then I have to go to library, or cafe to do work. It also means I am reading way more at home, journaling, Qigong etc.

The Tao te Ching seems to have versus on deconstructing your mind to realize the Tao or ultimate truth. A lot of it is about not building a world view but deconstructing it. become the uncarved block of wood

Sounds like you had a good trip. Mushrooms can be very healing. Yet, I worry about you taking such a large dose. What is your experience with shrooms or psychedelics? You took 5 grams of one of the most powerful mushrooms out there. If not the most powerful. I would condemn this practice for most people. Healing, Love and beautiful joy: This is my favourite part about mushrooms and I sense I was underplaying their healing ability in the past. I used to think they were too wacky and unpredictable. I don't think I'll be taking that large of a dose anytime soon. I found 2 grams for me for most shrooms is a good spot. I've heard that strain is very strong and I would be EXTRA careful. I find them very soothing as well. A good sober way of continuing to undo the tension in your neck and shoulders would be Qigong for neck and shoulders. Continue to work on developing a sober high state, and your body awareness. I am glad you had a good trip. But, remember you are playing with dynamite. Always Trip safe. If you take a high dose I don't recommend sitting down near breakables. Anyone reading this who hasn't taken shrooms before. Start with low doses. You are not in a rush. 1-2 grams can be very powerful. The love and warmth of a good trip is amazing. I found my mushroom trip last friday night helped me to lift a low grade anxiety and made me feel more safe and grounded.

I would say keep going. Though I don't know you. I sense we are in this together.

@Ayham Literally realize you know basically nothing. Then, learn from as many teachers, teachings and perspectives as possible. Be well read, meditate, try different spiritual practices, contemplate and think for yourself. Question everything and everyone. Embrace not knowing. If you don't know something. Say, I don't know. Chances are if you are being dogmatic, your feeling competitive, you want to be right and others wrong. Instead, open yourself up to the full possibility of the Tao. Consider, if you like esoteric shit... Reading The 'Tao Te Ching' by Lao Tzu. Or, a book like "There is a way out" or a book like "Pathways to Perfect living" or "The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power" by Vernon Howard.