Thought Art

Should I drink a beer? I don’t drink as a general rule…

I don’t even know what that is? What does a club girl find valuable? Ugh. I really hate this.

So, this happens every time. I go out, I feel weird, I go home. I KNOW now I want to speak to more women. But, when I see them wearing these outfits, drinking alcohol I just think “this is so dumb”… maybe clubs aren’t for me? I don’t know what to say, I even got some eye contact from some girls but I get too scared. This is such a dumb way to be. Is the club dumb or me? Hah I don’t know what to do. I need to find a way to meet more girls that is authentic to me. But, also… maybe I need to grow through discomfort? Like, it’s confusing. There is no getting around if I want to meet more girls… I have to approach and talk to them. When I look in the mirror I think “I look old and intimidating”. What? Maybe, I hear back tonight and rest. And, tomorrow try some day game approaches?

Okay so, I’m on the fence about this whole thing. I’m too afraid to approach. So… what now?

Retreated to a pizza shop. These girls look too young. I feel tired.

I hate waiting in lines

Honestly, I’m already losing interest I feel scared, uncomfortable and weird. These don’t look like girls I am interested in either…

Might hide this. This may be more of a journal thing. But, I’ve wanted to go out for a long time. So far I feel awkward, nervous, a little creepy. However, the longer I’ve been out can sense some subtle confidence building. I know I can develop a more playful state but it will take time. People seem to be around 25 years old. That is interesting.

What are you talking about

Going going out to talk to girls tonight! 10 minimum

There is an afterglow for 5meo trip dependant 10mg for me is way too small. I need snort 30-40

@r0ckyreed inch by inch

Explain to me why links are logical

Enjoyed meditation in woods and by ocean in this beautiful springlike sunny day with friend.

I see destiny is leaking back onto the forum. Don’t you have another thread for this?

Recently I have really been noticing how beautiful many women are. One of the highlights of life.

People have their kinks haha it’s not a logical process I mean who doesn’t like when their step sister “gets stuck in the dryer”? Joking

Playing guitar is a spiritual practice for me

I am building a sober life. Not that I will never do drugs but I don’t wanna be craving/ addicted. I admit have never really solved my maraijauna use addiction. I find myself using it when I get off work, and using it on weekends. It has held me back. It’s not a hardcore addiction. But, I easily crave it, which means I’m addicted. I stopped smoking, but vape it. I enjoy it, but want to use it sparingly. I am limiting myself to buying CBD vape, because it enjoy the vaping and very slight high. I feel embarrassed about how long I’ve used marijuana. But, I can move forward. Other than that, I live a pretty sober and increasing conscious loving, constructive life. The marijuana does help also. It’s not all bad, but I know seeing red eyes in the mirror it’s lowering my self esteem. Plus, makes me socially awkward. It has to stop. cbd seems a nice change and then using nothing . There isn’t many things I do that I don’t like. But, being high after work… I know my values are higher than that haha. Marijuana is an easy, lazy way to deal with stress. I know better. But, I also enjoy the act of vaping. Not sure.

I am building a solid life

Pu’erh in a mandarine 🍊

I stand by this song, and I will continue to write more.

I wrote a song called Mountain Tops. I think it’s one of my best songs. It’s very chill and simple. here are the lyrics. (“I’ve Walked on mountain tops Seen clouds fallen for each other Ive walked on mountain tops, been looking for a lover been looking for love and I’ve seen people go people goin’ round the mountain now ain’t that something and I’ve got a big surprise!!! All these tears of love in my eyes! They won’t stay dry! wo oh oh oh oohhhhh”) x2 I will record this, and release it as a single as a way of fulfilling my artistic desires instead of suppressing them all the time. The guitar melody is just awesome too. It’s laid back but ecstatic. Will share recording soon. The lyrics are good, they fit nicely together.

How do I become super intelligent?