EntheogenTruthSeeker

Like I don’t even enjoy this shit. I’ll be good for a couple days, then I’m just looking for an adrenaline rush. Today I took 200mg modafinil & 100mg caffiene. Then, after modafinil kicked in took another 100mg of caffiene. I felt like shit, expecting a rush of motivation/adrenaline like I dream of daily, but it just never happens, like 5% of the time. Most time, I just regret it and try to exercise/eat fruit and vegetables to get it out of my system. it’s been 8 years and my body is so degenerated. The drugs that used to give me insane highs are like I took nothing. I just finished a 27 hour grape fast which really helped, and my awareness is growing a lot, so I’m really starting to see how unsustainable and miserable this adrenaline addiction is making my life. I’m making progress month by month, sometimes week by week, but almost every week I’m relapsing or some huge emotional event. I’m addicted to the lows of crashing and highs. The plateau and boredom is too miserable, despite meditating and doing healthy habits. Two days of plateau and I find a way to get high. I wish I had money to seek magic mushrooms instead of these toxic substances society promotes and has readily available. I’m literally just taking whatever to get high. All I really want is clarity, oxygen inducing things, peace, health, hydration, natural flow of motivation, connection with the all encompassing awareness, therapy, deep and meaningful relationships, a part time job that’s stage green, and a huge 5MEODMT truama release. I have so much stress built up in my body, that any time I’m detoxing I just get so fucking angry I have to indulge in something or ill lose my temper. My LOAttraction and desires are all to be sober, detox, raw vegan, health conscious, stage green, but I have NO clue how to fucking get this illusory wiring in my brain that adrenaline/substance seeking will make me happy? I literally get 0 benefits from taking these things. It actually makes me way less productive and happy within 1 hour of ingestion. tips?:)

After Leo locking a post about the literal best night of my entire life, better than any psychedelic high or anything, it’s obvious that he will never understand my raw authenticity and vision. He’s never met me and I don’t expect him to support my unique path, it is nothing like his hermit lifestyle of perfect conduct, lol. I am too quirky to be in a community of someone else. I am going to create my own community of: mentally ill, spiritual, shamanic, psychic, outcasts, raving, manic, and “unlovable” people to shower love and support. This community has limits and a demonization of some of the most beautiful aspects of reality, infinite liberation of neurosis. It appears there is a massive shadow and fear of mental illness and radical self expression, even though I harm nobody. After that thread got locked in dating section, I became suicidal. I’m done trying to fit in here. Nothing personal. It’s all love. Just I have to carve my own path and stop being Leo’s fanboy. I have better and more unique visionary things to manifest with my god given talents I have and Leo has facilitated me cultivating. I love you Leo. See you on the other side of eternity one day❤️??

No, brushing with a brush on my tongue does NOT do anything. Given 8 years of drug, pharmaceuticals, and family stress, I’m not surprised I’m this toxic internally. I’m currently just eating grapes, lemon water, turmeric water, and celery juice occasionally. I have a 30 day hotel retreat by myself with all expenses paid for, so I have time to dive deep into this.

@Javfly33 I personally believe it greatly reduces my kundalini, mystical states, and visionary stuff. Meat is very grounding and healthy at times, but for the state of my body currently, I have consumed enough meat for a lifetime with bodybuilding, so I am very acidic and unhealthy from 200grams of protein a day.

bought Eric’s $150 8 week course and after following 80% of it, I’ve healed every single illness I’ve ever had. Chronic health issues with no hope at all. This guy knows his shit. for everyone asking how I detoxed. Grape fasting and lemons basically did it. I just ate grapes all day long and only fruit for two months, with occasional meat and vegetables.

Wow. This chick’s brother is a famous musician that eye fucked me during my performance during the set. We have a date on Wednesday?

@Real Eyes I have bipolar and can get way too spiritually excited on a raw food fast, so I have to eat meat or junk food to lower my energy 10% the time. I would not recommend this if you do not have any issues like me with mania.

@Lyubov dude DM me and let’s do it together.

My old band I co-founded (50 second clip): https://youtu.be/tD12JfnkD6E — My Vision for Mosh For God = a nondual rock/heavy metal/edm group that includes motivational mystical teachings intertwined with original songs. Play world wide gigs. Spread spirituality to the masses through music, through Niche EDM/Hippie/Stage Green music festivals. Then, eventually, go to the rest of the spiral. —15,000 View Cover of Pompeii from old band, as well. (I was 16 in this video)

https://youtube.com/shorts/rSVaBw1FKZ0?feature=share

It went very well. She is slightly anxious type of person, so when I said we should catch up she put her hand on her neck, however it went very well aside from that. I feel a lot of love and almost like divine guidance that we saw each other. She really had a crush on me in high school too, so I’m sure it would work. should I wait a couple days to hit her up on Instagram? That’s where we agreed to link.

@Shin lol dude I’ve posted like two things today.

DANK!!!

I will go first. 1. Creativity - constantly creating new projects and ways of solving problems. 2. Compassion 3. Love 4. Infinite Intelligence 5. Flexibility 6. Nuance 7. Expressive Sexuality 8. Willingness to die and be tortured for Truth

It’s so infinite I don’t even care to talk about it, it’s so sacred. I’m just going to express this infinite love via music and motivational speaking/shamanic work with my concert crowds, etc. I am Infinite Eternal Love. ?

Any tips?

Verify with your direct experience, if you dare.

@something_else @Shin haha hell yeah you two. I am going to look at Leo's funny video from 2014 again and really just make light of everything. Be a full open humorous book, that is my PUA style. I love to express my feminine side, as this makes me more masculine, counter-intuitively.

@Lauritz Bewer 15-18$ an hour. commission based, and I am extremely extroverted genuine people person, so it feels perfect!

Seriously, any of y’all that haven’t tried to eat just raw fruits/vegetables for even just a day, I mean wow. I’ve been eating garbage lately, and decided to get back on my juicing grind. Holy shit. 8 hours later, my chi and kundalini energy is flowing so intensely through my entire being. My physical body is in existential grounded bliss right now. I’ve been progressing years of progress in one night, super productive, calm, socially benevolent, and envisioning my life purpose on an entirely God-Level of imagination. If you haven’t detoxed, do it!!!

@Thought Art thanks!:) you’re probably right. Just figured this place is very conscious and there’s a lot of musicians here. @Nahm feel free to lock this post, if needed.

@Leo Gura Thank you, bro. Realizing that everybody’s spiritual advice for me or anything is utter horse shit and only their subjective experience. God and your human self interaction is deeply personal and visionary. No other human can tap into that stuff, unless you put in hella work to actualize it in material world.

Best post I’ve ever seen on Actualized, better than the OG Arzeal, lol. Glad to see @BipolarGrowth and I aren’t alone in our similar insights. Leo for some reason is not in that Turquoise mindset and thinks there’s no collective awakening, which is comical to me. He must be living in a box? Lol Just because epistemologically, some people are losing their minds, doesn’t mean it’s permanent or a majority of the population. It’s the people with the biggest shadows resisting Truth. Amen, brother.

Haha holy fuck. I can’t believe the trip I just had. Just want to express my gratitude for Leo, this unique path of awakening, and all of the beings participating in this collective healing of the planet. This is the best and most exciting time to ever be alive right now. WE are apart of the “spiritual rebirth” on this planet. I’m so excited to be playing music in front of thousands with my love for nonduality combined. The visions I had during my trip were beyond magical. I was listening to tickets to my downfall “nothing inside” - MGK, and envisioned MGK playing this to the entire world, with every being on the planet bare naked, god-realized, and in complete harmony with all the beauty and goodness of the universe and earth as a whole. I am SO excited for what’s to come. As long as I commit to staying alive and enduring the pain of existence/life, not killing myself, I’ll have the most beautiful life I could have ever asked for and more. Music, health, consciousness, love, beauty, art, relationships, humor, motivational speaking, shamanic crowd work, and performing is my art and bliss. I am fearless. I know how powerful I truly am. It’s very intimidating what this means for my survival and how torturous this will be to actualize it, however, what the fuck else am I or anybody else doing? Haha Like, I’m going to suffer either way, life is suffering until you awaken. So might as well make the most of it, right? Honestly, I look up to MGK more than Leo at this point. Haha. I realized MGK’s birthday is one day after mine, and Leo’s is 4 days before mine. So, there’s something significant about that, perhaps. During this trip, I become one with MGK and realized a lot of shit that none of you guys may believe, so I’ll keep quiet?

@Tim R love you man. Thanks for the fuck ton of support over these last couple of months/year???