Loving Radiance

@Magnanimous As a teenager I used to believe that virginity is something pure or precious. I even "saved" my virginity for years. In the end I recognized that it is only important if I believe it is. So, it is only special if you believe it is. Recognize that. After this recognition, make the conscious choice to continue holding on to that belief or not. Please do serious research on whatever you base your beliefs on. Don't half ass it. Set your epistemology right. I mean, how do you know your red pill dudes aren't just making it up? The way to examine your preferences, beliefs and insecurities is self-reflection through contemplative journaling. Have a look at Leo's video on journaling. Use journaling to recognize that it is a belief you are holding on to and then after that you can continue believing or not. I can share from experience that I held on to virginity throughout my teenage years because deep down it was an excuse for me to not put myself out there and to be outside my comfort zone. I was afraid to be exposed in my insecurity, afraid of possible rejection, and afraid of being bad with girls.

@The0Self ???

With derealization I look at family and see them like familiar alien beings. But this perception is based in dissociation and results in being a bit more dumb than usual compared to states of normal function.

@Carl-RichardOkay, thanks.

IME, part of it is looking at oneself as if one is alien. But it's not the predominant focus. Alright, enough side-tangent.

@Tyler Robinson Depersonalization-Derealization is common. It's part of dissociation. What Leo describes here is part of drug-induced dissociation. Dissociation is not bad per se. It's just a tool of the mind. Dissociation happens with many psychedelics and is part of the experience. I first glorified it as being spiritually open. Open and mentally flexible (out of the box thinking), yes. Functional living and spiritual connection & insight, no. Now I notice that writing about it does make me feel unstable and unwell. I am moving on from the topic of mental illness.

For now, it seems to be the same as my depersonalization episodes. But with "fun" so to say. @Carl-Richard Can you help me with this? I remember that you had DPDR too. Did you experience the alien perception of depersonalization?

What is the difference between this sense of seeing oneself as alien and depersonalization?

So, Connor Murphy was right all along?

Is the purpose of a demonstration to create inspiration in people for them to get curious to explore this state of consciousness for themselves and discovering the godly power of this inner monologue? Or is it just for basking in your own Playfulness/Radiance/Love?

@Loba Thank you for your opinion on this?

Using a negative motivation like shame to promote wanted behavior is not something I would do because it creates inner separation and pushes the unwanted part of the personality into the shadow, from which it festers in unhealthy dynamics. Usually many years and decades later it needs to be cleaned up with a strong commitment to healing. Social morals are entirely possible without negative motivation. One can create their own lifestyle from their values, and this lifestyle choice can happen to be culturally accepted.

Interesting train of thought. Something related that came up for me: cause and effect seem to be concepts which are so ingrained in the human psyche because it's the mechanism keeping us functional and surviving.

@Tyler Robinson I wanted to show you that there is more to this than thinking about dumping or saving your bf. But I notice now that it may be not the right place and time for this digression into communication. I'm sorry. I hope the best for you, whatever outcome it might be. ? @thepixelmonk I'm not here to make it personal or to start drama & fights. The only thing I say about what you wrote is that I don't make it a one-dimensional cause, that of simply being a communication fault and searching for ways to put blame & responsibility on Tyler.

@Tyler Robinson Do you understand or can you imagine the psychological dynamics of chill volcano types? Why they are wired like this?

@Tyler Robinson Something to think about: Do you want to be with chill people who explode from time to time? How can you proactively adjust your communication to clear the space with those people (not only your bf)?

Thank you ?

It starts with small things. I imagine there were already signs of his insecurity before this, but not so much noticeable. If he is not conscious and aware of the insecurity (highly likely), then he won't do personal development and investigate and work on it. So, it will only continue, see the quote of "integral" down here. I'm very skeptical of this action having satisfied his insecurity. Insecurity needs a lot of proactive work. I sincerely hope that it is a one-time occurrence because a "friend" of him suggested it and he was persuaded to try. Thank you ?

@LSD-Rumi Good suggestion No, I rather thought of criminalizing drugs.

@Alexop To avoid this I block the recommendation feed with the extension DF YouTube. Also easy to disable it when I want to look for similar videos.

This is a warning sign for how he will be later on in the relationship. You two can work on this, and his motivated participation is all it needs. If he doesn't see this, then you can move on from him. You can't change him alone, he has to want it too.

Beautiful. Thank you.

@Vladimir Thank you so much! Love your response. Consider that (gradual) falling away of the individual identification can be said to be death. This de-identification can be lived, watched, allowed. Question: How has your perception of "I" changed (before and after the 18 months)?