Loving Radiance

@Insightful27 Develop your anima (Jung psychology). I also agree with the others that insecurity is the root thing here.

I cannot relate because I am not a full-time artist, I only create occasionally. I see beauty in my creations and I appreciate every bit of it. I thrive in the creation process and I love to read them afterwards from time to time. I like the overarching, big-picture feel and view of it, and I love every small piece that creates the picture. Perhaps there are micro frustrations coming up from listening to every detail on repeat, and so when you finish it these micro frustrations arise as a big wave of feeling sick. Is this true, do I overlook something? It may also be that you go over your own boundaries (e.g. overworking) and the sickness feeling is the result from that. It may also be the case that you are the type of person that needs to create only. I mean some actors or directors never watch their movies.

@Raze I am so glad I don't need to be on twitter.

@Magnanimous Accept the cost of hard work. There's always emotional labor involved.

It would have huge potential and huge dangers. Only a developed mind could handle it maturely.

+1

@Rishabh R Program your subconscious mind with a powerful vision every morning. Visualize it. Leo did a video on visualization.

Radical honesty is not brutal honesty.

This is your repressed anima speaking or you are right now in your wounded child which didn't get the needed praise and support in the past (much likelier you were bullied and isolated). Thinking in that way, low self-esteem and self-pity will keep you stuck. Get therapy (preferably IFS). Get friends, if you don't have any, or move to a SD Green intentional community. The strong way you feel about this ("murdered") shows that you can grow emotionally. Therapy will help alot with this.

@ValiantSalvatore What is in AI for you? How is it connected to your values & strengths?

Do you have clear and consistent memory before and after the switching?

@ChrisZoZo Before I experienced it myself I thought it was bullshit. Same with chakras. Since my first ego-death trip on shrooms there was this channel open in me. The first time channeling: I documented more channeling here: Btw, what do you mean in the poll "It’s possible with in are reality, but no human can do it."?

@Iblitan Good choice! There are lots of free quality resources out there for learning coding. Coding boot camps and courses at udemy are also good. Here is what I found at the forum: I'd start with Google IT Automation with Python. Great course, great instructors, a complete know-how to become a promising junior Python coder. Doesn't just deal with the code but also practical aspects about working in IT. I don't have any specific recommendations for the job hunt (I'm in Italy and I don't really know how it works outside of it :P) except making a professional looking LinkedIn profile (make sure to link your Google certification). I get about 10 job offers per month there. There's so much demand for programmers it feels like cheating when compared to the reality of finding a job as a young person in other fields. If you're looking to become a front end developer having a solid grasp of HTML and CSS is a great place to start. Yes, 2 months or less should be enough for you to become decent at Javascript, Typescript and Angular, granted you are serious and motivated. Following a structured online course is a good idea, even better if there's some sort of certification to show in your resume.

Videos are up @levani @oldhandle @Hero0 @Joshtjclark

@itsadistraction Get the book "Kriya Secrets Revealed" by J. C. Stevens and start with lesson 1.

@Someone here Sounds like Leo's Life Purpose course is perfect for you. Learn to enjoy the grind by coming into flow and making distinctions during each grind session. This is how you make it your art. Focus on your enjoyment of the medium (coding, sculpturing, writing,..). Focus on the depth and beauty of the grind. It's a subtle taste that can easily be missed especially when one isn't committed to the grind for a few months. It's normal to dislike the grindy hard work in the beginning. (That's what I know from the LP course)

@Sugarcoat Nah, it's rather something that comes up naturally when it's needed. I'm chill most of the time.

At a Green workshop about working with and processing emotions and inner parts we drank ceremonial cacao as part of the evening. The cacao got me so much in my body and flow. There was that one guy who was particularly clingy to his gf. Felt like he was in a desperate, clingy and dependent child mode where he needed feminine mother energy to feel whole. His gf wasn't liking it. I intuitively did bodywork on him. I basically commanded him to lay on a mattress and then dominantly laid myself on him, and I whispered into his ear (taunting, child-pretend, victim-pretend goblin voice, the voice-expressed version of his feeling state), "I am so small. I don't even feel myself, so small am I. I feel so much without power, I am such a small miserable victim, and life just happens to me I guess. I could feel sad but actually I am just very small, too small to feel anything. [...]" After some time his anger came and threw me around on his back and eventually I fell down. In that moment I felt that he would need to be in his power on his own and not be dependent on me. I asked for him to be the one who activates and brings me into my power to raise me up, "Please help me. I am so weak." He then helped me up and made sure that I am stable and can stand on my own.

@Moksha Beautifully put. Thank you!

I'm am still dealing with DPDR and I can confirm this.

There is no difference between meditating in a monastery and living life the achiever way. The thought that monks are dead is just that, a thought. Do that which personally suits you and gives you your highest bliss (aka flow, gratification, satisfaction...). That may be being a monk... but you won't know it till you put your ego aside and live in a monastery for some time.

Reflection on limiting beliefs and mental health challenge Man, limiting beliefs have guided me my whole life. I found many great guiding questions on the internet to uncover limiting beliefs. There were so many times I felt the subconscious impulse to just look away and not investigate into it. Especially the core wound and resulting beliefs my identity is standing on let the urge come up to distract and forget all what I have learned. Being dissociated (depersonalization-derealization) is not easy while wanting to do the LP course. Leo said that one should care for their health first and then come back to do the course. It was difficult today. Because the mind's analytical capability, to think straight and the self-perception weren't functioning right. However now I am doing better and I continue the course because it gives me purpose and is a goal that shows me that I can care for my future self. Still, it's tricky because I easily distract and dissociate when I go into serious investigation like for example with limiting beliefs.

Update Today I began to make flashcards to learn all the concepts. I notice that otherwise they would just fade away even with consistent reading over my notes. I know that the real work is building the tree house, but when I keep forgetting how to screw the wood together I feel I will spend more time looking at the instruction rather than actually working and having the map inside me. I like this process to be as fluid as possible. I want to know and navigate through these waters like I know and do at my home. In school I didn't like to use flashcards to learn because I associated it with being forced to learn something that I wasn't interested in. However, here with the LP course I am internally motivated and I can see how this will help me in the long-term. On the value of small steps I spoke with my a friend about if we do "enough" work. Apparently he wasn't satisfied with himself and judged himself for it. Yes, we are not doing enough compared to others and to our expectations, however we are already doing enough considering our position. Only because everybody else seems to run a marathon doesn't mean that those who never ran 100 meters need to run a marathon too. We can only start with 50 meters and maybe increase it by 10 meters each day. It's okay to start slow. And in the end we are doing marathons regularly because we enjoyed being consistent and dedicated to the journey.

@Michael569 Massive! Thank you. And also thanks for sharing a bit where you are. Feels good to get an insight into where you're at right now even if it's not glamorous.

When we contribute with our LP to the world, we can either a) meet our lower needs of Maslow's hierarchy first (safety and belonging) and then share our LP, or b) focus on contributing with our LP first (fulfilling self-actualization need) and then our lower needs get met automatically. I for myself have the intuition that a) is for me because otherwise the holes in my pyramid would drag me down and hinder my contribution (and even corrupt it). For those currently in the course, what do you feel will be your choice and why? And for those futher on the path, what was the case for you? Here's Maslow's pyramid of needs for reference. @Michael569 @soos_mite_ah